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  • Ep 8: I Align With Courage

    Ep 8: I Align With Courage
    2021/03/31

    Shanita Liu teaches people how to activate their courage and say bye to burnout.

    As an integrative healer and Chief Energy Officer at Coach Shanita, Inc., she shows people how to tune in and reconnect to their courage, power, and strength so that they can stop sacrificing themselves and start transforming what’s in their hearts into realities. Her services include 1:1 coaching sessions and group workshops and you can download her free courage activation exercise, based on her recent TEDx talk, at www.coachshanita.com/courage

    1. https://www.coachshanita.com/
    2. #coachshanita
    3. https://www.coachshanita.com/www.facebook.com/CoachShanita/
    4. https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanitaliu/
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    26 分
  • Ep 7: I Am Not My Anxiety

    Ep 7: I Am Not My Anxiety
    2021/03/01
    Today my guest is Neil Young. He is a peak performance coach living in Dubai, who helps entrepreneurs move past barriers and experience greater freedom in their lives.   He has created and grown his own businesses into very successful ventures. Tony Robbins is Neil’s mentor and known for having attended 22 Tony Robbins events in 22 months. He also appreciates the work of Joe Dispenza and Sadhguru. Intentions, feelings, habits and energy are what Neil believes must be mastered to live one’s dream life.     Today however he is here to share his personal experiences of anxiety.      What about your life are you proud of, Neil?    Quite a few things. I most recently had a son, a 1 year old son that I’m quite proud of and my health and three of my businesses I could go on and on. A family, health & my business is what I’m most proud of.        2.23:    Let’s get to know more about your experiences with anxiety. Give us an overview, not the nitty gritty, but your history.    Sure, my story began when I was three, living in Dubai, I had a severe infection in my ankle, a large growing lump and the doctors were concerned that it was dangerous and could travel.  So I was bed ridden for 3 months.  I wasn’t eating and lost a ton of weight, and this was my earliest childhood memory.  I remember my parents looking down on me, and thinking poor little boy, so weak and helpless.  Being weak and helpless became my identity then and also for the next twenty years of my life.   I became a big observer and copied what everyone else did. So I did what my parents said, worked hard…did what others did.   4:11  Fast forward 20 years…  I was at the university in Dubai, working for a contractor, sitting at the computer all day, and I’m a people person, and had a panic attack at work.  I snuck out and jumped into my car and drove to the beach. I felt suicidal, felt terrible, sat down on the beach and realized I wasn’t coming from my heart.      My whole life I had copied others in terms of work and health, relationships and other bad routines.  I wasn’t living my life.    My body was screaming at me to wake up…  “All these emotions are not you.  It’s not you.  You have to come from your heart”. That’s when I woke up, lost my job, started drinking, put on tons of weight, cut off peer groups. I was really alone; it was a dark time.  That’s when I started getting involved in personal development.      I started taking morning walks on the beach and listened to Joe Dispenza tapes and podcasts (Entreprenuer on Fire was my favorite).  Getting good vibes…. from other successful entrepreneurs, and learning about their success and avoiding mistakes that they made helped me so much.    I found a class in Tennessee where there was a mastermind program, virtual, for 2 years that raised my game to a different level.    5:54:  In 2017, I did business mastery with Tony Robbins; this changed my life so much that I signed up for the platinum partnership for 85K per year program, a sponsorship.    2 things I learned:  1) Life is all about mastering your intentions, feelings, habits and internal energy, and 2) Peer group support is essential     6:20.    Panic attack and anxiety taught me that I wasn’t coming from my heart.  Anxiety and stress stems from our human needs, and there are 4 of them: contribution, growth, love connection and certainty.    Contribution and growth are the top 2 needs in order to live a fulfilling life.      Love connection and certainty are important too, but shouldn’t be in the top 2.      Love life is not at the top, because if you are too dependent on a loved one, it’s all about emotions and feelings and that can lead to depression.  Conversely too being too dependent on certainty, physical things, money, or don’t have a partner, how your body looks etc. can also lead to becoming anxious, having anxiety about the future.      I was too dependent on certainty and emotions and associated with others.  I was so dependent and desperate for a love connection in my life.    8:00  Let’s circle back to the life threatening infection you had as a child. Your parents were extremely concerned if you were even going to live.  But you were having a different internal experience of feeling weak and helpless.    How did you recognize your thoughts and know this was happening?  You heard your parents say, “Oh poor Neil” and internalized it.  Comment on this Neil.     Babies are born with a blank slate.  As we go through life, we experience the good and the bad emotions, which shapes our character.  For instance a 4-year-old child has success skiing down the hill and then goes faster, flying by as he/she hasn’t had any accidents, but the parents are saying, “slow down.”  They have experienced pain.  If the kid falls, he will have a ...
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    33 分
  • Ep 6: Now I Choose Health: In My Thoughts, Activities & Food

    Ep 6: Now I Choose Health: In My Thoughts, Activities & Food
    2020/12/28
    Although anxiety was terrifying, taking the ‘small steps approach’ helped Glenda overcome her fears so she could heal and thrive. ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________   Shownotes:   Glenda Sparrow shares her experience with anxiety and depression.   After 20 years in supply chain management, she left the corporate world to create a life she could truly be passionate about. She's a certified Primal Health Coach and a Certified Holistic Coach. Through her company, Glenda Sparrow Coaching and Consulting, she combines food choices, movement, sleep, mindset and stress management to help her clients live healthier, happier and optimized lives while never putting them on a dreadful diet.   Glenda shares how she went from zero awareness to self-awareness by making incremental lifestyle and food choices changes that improved her life. Acknowledging her depression was her first stepping stone, and while there may not be an end to it, she was able to drastically improve her life through the choices she made.     This episode begins with Glenda sharing that she’s most proud of being able to identify the issues she had with anxiety, depression, insecurities and the fear of judgment. As she thought it was normal and that everyone felt the same, it’s been quite a journey for her from what she describes as zero awareness to self-awareness. Alternate lifestyle choices have also helped her regain control of her emotions. Now, she can live a better life and help others do the same. This is why she is proud of her life today.   It wasn't until 2016 when she was in her 40s that her depression was diagnosed. Prior to this, she always had a way of normalizing it away. Dealing with the end of her marriage and loss of both her dogs in a three week period, led her to believe it was normal to feel down all the time. For five months – after her separation – she struggled with extreme depression, and nothing worked to make her condition improve. Doing routine tasks became difficult. Going to the gym was no longer satisfying. Working around people became hard. Since then, Identifying anxiety allowed her to look at her life as a whole and start to see how many times these things came up in her life before. It also allowed her to take steps to live her life differently.   Delving deep into her depression, Glenda reveals she had been insecure throughout her life. In middle and high school, she had a powerful fear of judgment. At that time, she thought it was just normal middle school & high school emotions. Now she knows better.   Her process of massive awareness and healing has allowed her to reflect back about how her anxiety and depression began. She has started writing a book about her journey.   She remembers how, once in a leadership workshop many years ago, she was asked to participate in a recorded role-play. She altogether refused to participate out of fear of judgment from others. Today she can identify when her insecurities are affecting her. And that OCD intrudes into her behavior as well. While she thought it was just a harmless desire to organize and control her life, in fact, it was her OCD making things worse for her and everyone around her. She reveals how she couldn’t even have skittles without first organizing them by color.   She also had social anxiety until last year. Today, she describes no longer being controlled by outside approval anymore and does not seek it anymore. Glenda’s ability to use self-talk has allowed her to identify the situations when anxiety can creep in, so now she can prepare in advance for many circumstances that can trigger her.   Her depression had deep roots in perfectionism. She believed the only way to be valued was to be perfect. Externally, perfectionism appeared like commitment and hard-work, so no one who knew her recognized this as compromising for her.   Looking back, she can see that most of her insecurities and defense mechanisms stemmed from the shame. This led her to build up a tough persona, not letting anyone know how she was feeling or the kind of person she actually was. When out with friends or at parties, she used to drink a lot as a defense against her social anxiety. It allowed her to become more fun around others, let her guard down and just enjoy the experience just a bit more.   She had no awareness of what other people were thinking about her or being affected by her. However, she just believed whatever she was doing wasn’t enough. She believed she was always lacking in some way. It wasn't until she started counseling that she realized a truth - that "people are rarely concerned about others. They have their own insecurities and rather focused on themselves”.   Glenda describes being from a family of four children. Her parents divorced when she was just two, and she has no memory of them being together. As a child, there was a lot of going back ...
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    49 分
  • Ep 5: I Am Brave & Strong; I Am the Hero of My Life

    Ep 5: I Am Brave & Strong; I Am the Hero of My Life
    2020/08/23
    Alice recounts a very traumatic experience in her life a few years ago that led to anxiety & PTSD. She shares how she lived and thrived through this challenging journey and decided it would heal and teach her.   ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________   Shownotes:   Alice Hogan from Melbourne, Australia is the guest for episode 5.   She’s a motivation & mindset coach who helps people transform their self-limiting beliefs into self-motivating beliefs. Moreover, she's a qualified CrossFit Level 2 Trainer, Precision Nutrition Level 1 Coach and gymnastics coach. She also has a Master’s in Management. With her broad experience, Alice helps clients unlock their potential, push through heights and achieve their dreams by mastering their minds.   Alice responds to the first question by stating that she is proud of her life because she is dedicated to following through on her goals. She knows that when she sets a goal, she will do everything within her capacity to achieve it without focusing on the outcome but rather enjoying the process.   Anxiety Overview: Alice’s anxiety stems from a fairly recent trauma.   Alice’s anxiety primarily developed from a traumatic experience a few years ago when her partner had severe medical emergency. It was a shocking experience where she had no control and could do nothing but call for help. Throughout the unfolding of the situation, the entire focus was understandably on the health and recovery of her partner; she suppressed her feelings. There was no obvious time or space for them, but they became her teachers.   It was just another normal weekend for Alice and her partner; they were enjoying the day off. All of a sudden, he started convulsing. He was having his first seizure. Alice describes how she had only seen people on TV have seizures but never in real life – let alone happening to a person she loved right next to her.   Her mind went blank. As she called for an ambulance then informed his parents, she recalls feeling numb, helpless and zoned-out with no idea of how to make any of it stop. He was a CrossFit trainer and healthy. How could this be happening?   The sense of panic and helplessness flowed on even in the ambulance as the paramedics took him to the hospital. Alice describes her feelings in these words: in-tears, shocked, confused & panicked. Her partner went on to have two consecutive seizures that day. He was put into an induced coma for a few days and ended up having brain surgery to remove the tumor that was causing his seizures.   So a normal weekend, for Alice, turned into a nightmare that involved dealing with all the questions of friends & family without any good answers and not knowing whether her partner would even live.   Alice admits feeling angry.   Before the incident, everything was going smoothly and all was in control. She felt angry for not having any control over anything about the situation. Even the relationship she once relied on was gone, as she couldn’t talk to him anymore. He was suffering too. Everything revolved around her partner’s needs. While both of their families were very supportive, no one knew how to deal with the trauma. At times, Alice felt so muffled. No one knew how to ‘fix’ it.   A few months later, Alice and her partner separated, leaving her at a complete loss. She regrets not having any coping mechanism to deal with the trauma and rushing too soon to expect and crave normalcy after the trauma, surgery and recuperation.   PTSD from the actual incident along with the breakup itself caused her anxiety to spiral out of control. Remembering her reaction to the trauma, Alice reveals, she lost all sense of purpose. For example, an ambulance siren or even seeing a hospital turned into triggers, taking her back to that fateful day. During this time she describes not feeling anything; she just felt numb. She had no desire to do anything or work towards her goals.   Very slowly things began to shift; she allowed the trauma to teach and change her. This is why she now considers it a rebirth.   Alice recalls having met a psychologist before earlier in life but could only endure two sessions at that time. She finally realized she needed help and that's when she decided to visit a psychologist again. With this support, Alice was able to recollect all the memories of her traumatic experience and describe all the aspects the trauma many times. This process was immensely helpful in her overcoming the stress and anxiety.   The first ten therapy sessions were really quite hard. She remembers crying through every single one of them. During the first few sessions, the psychologist was trying to help Alice articulate what actually happened, but she felt so down that she couldn't even talk about it. Over time she was able to slowly talk through what happened and then relive it again and again until it had no emotional ...
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    51 分
  • Ep 4: It's Okay Not To Be Perfect: Discomfort is Natural

    Ep 4: It's Okay Not To Be Perfect: Discomfort is Natural
    2020/07/13
    Kylie unveils her experience of growing up with anxiety, how it held her back and how she learned to overcome it through mindset, strict food discipline and spirituality.  It’s an informative hour about living a life with high-functioning & food anxiety.   ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Shownotes:   In this fourth episode, our guest is Kylie Hines from Omaha, Nebraska. She is currently a Math teacher, Volleyball Coach and mentor. She has 10+ years of experience in coaching, teaching and holds a Master’s Degree in Ministry. Taking advantage of their quarantine date nights, she recently started a coaching business with her husband called, "We Well Walk." It is about helping others stop missing out on moments in life that matter the most due to lack of presence, openness and appreciation.   In response to the first question about why she is proud of her life today, Kylie explains that despite her busy schedule as a teacher, coach and mother, she has taken the day for herself! This is a highly unusual decision, as she is just learning that it is okay to experience self-care. Already today, she has taken her kids to the sitter, taken a nap and will spend the rest of day resting however she likes. Kylie further explains how Covid-19 has disrupted every aspect of normal life. As a mother of two very young children, as well as being a wife, coach & teacher who is working from home during the pandemic, she has been quite challenged in balancing these demanding aspects of her life.   Anxiety Overview: Kylie’s anxiety stems from two things: 1. fear of not being perfect, and 2. effect of certain foods on her health.   The podcast starts with Kylie tracing her anxiety back to childhood. As a kid, she loved school. The symptoms of anxiety started when she was in elementary school. She recounts the last day before summer vacation in elementary school when she started having stomach aches. As they worsened, her parents took her to several doctors with no clear diagnosis and presumed it was due to psychological reasons. Eventually, the doctors suggested to her mother that Kylie be evaluated by a psychologist.   Kylie remembers being asked one question by the psychologist that is often considered a way to define an individual’s life perspective: Is the glass half full or empty. Because Kylie had an overall positive outlook on life, her answer was "half full." Unfortunately, the psychologist failed to diagnose her high level of stress & anxiety in the context of her response. As a result, Kylie’s stomach aches persisted; she internalized and adjusted to them being a normal part of her life.   Fast forward twenty years, Kylie’s pain and anxiety worsened after having her second child. On the insistence of her husband, Kylie met with a therapist and finally learned that both food and anxiety were causing her stomach aches.   As Kylie reflects on those twenty years, she can clearly see how anxiety affected her life. As a very high functioning individual, she performed well in school and sports: she was a perfectionist. What she would learn is that perfectionism comes with its own disadvantages; for instance, becoming a procrastinator and a risk avoider.   Kylie was committed to not failing. She didn't want to put herself in situations where she thought she could not or would not perform well. This required a lot of energy, and it was exhausting. For example, even though she was a very athletic individual, and she didn't compete in certain events so that she would avoid potential embarrassment. If Kylie thought she would be socially compromised in some way at an event, she would pre-plan on how to handle it, particularly in larger groups. Stuck up and selfish are ways that Kylie presumes she was perceived because she was so conscientious. These labels exacerbate anxiety.   Kylie shares Stanford Research that shows that children given titles like ‘talented’ or ‘smart’ during their early years can be harmful to them later in life. It posits that such titles make them feel they must perform exceptionally all the time. Kylie felt that such expectations did not allow her creative space and hindered her potential. The dissonance, however, is always remarkable. While some may be proud of their perfect grades, people suffering from anxiety can experience the same experience differently. Nothing ever seems quite good enough and fear of losing status.   Kylie’s mother died at age 48 from a cardiac event, and this was a turning point in her life. It changed her perspective on life and really showed her that life is very short and that many things are taken for granted. Consequently, she realized that she needed to be more appreciative and be more present in life.   Another significant moment for Kylie was one day while helping lead retreats for ...
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    50 分
  • Ep 3: Realizing Love Saved My Life

    Ep 3: Realizing Love Saved My Life
    2020/05/26

    In the third episode, our guest is Ana Cukrov from Croatia.  Ana is committed to live a free and meaningful life no matter her history and helping others to do the same.

    Ana shares her personal journey of Anxiety and how it has helped her become a better version of herself. She talks about how lowering unrealistic expectations, working towards self-acceptance and having faith has allowed her to live a more full life.

     

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    Shownotes:
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    52 分
  • Ep 2: Now I Can Be At The Front Of The Room

    Ep 2: Now I Can Be At The Front Of The Room
    2020/05/26
    Deidre Harris is the guest for episode 2. She is a dynamic education consultant and trainer with 30 + years of experience as an educator. She is now launching a communication process she developed for workplaces called, Team Agreements. Deidre shares her personal experience of anxiety and how it has expressed itself throughout her life and in her workplaces.  She shares profound insight into anxiety, childhood abuse and thriving.   ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Shownotes: Deidre Harris is the guest for episode 2; she is from California. She is a dynamic education consultant and trainer with 30 + years of experience as an educator in many professional environments. She has worked as a teacher, instructional coach, curriculum, and program developer as well as director of training, and she is a certified life coach. She is now launching a communication process she developed for workplaces called, Team Agreements; it builds trust allowing teams to work through common disagreements in challenging conflicts.   Deidre shares her personal experience of anxiety, how it has expressed itself throughout her personal and professional life, how childhood sexual abuse fueled her experience of anxiety as well as how she practices thriving anyway!   Summary Deidre starts off by describing that she is proud of having stepped out to follow her entrepreneurial dreams after realizing that she was not enjoying her professional trajectory, even though she enjoyed a comfortable & successful professional life. Stepping into entrepreneurship has allowed Deidre to not only to do what she loves most but also to confront her anxiety in a much more effective way. She recognizes that new is inherently uncomfortable, but the uncomfortable feeling of new waters always subsides. Deidre feels grateful to her anxiety because it made her the person she is today.   The realization of the disconnect between where she was in her life and where she wanted to be was sobering. She went through extensive coaching sessions and therapy to evolve into who she is today. Even after she realized what she really wanted to do professionally, it took over a year for her to resign. She took that time to prepare for the new phase of her professional journey; this was key to her managing her anxiety.   As an adult, she did not know she was anxious. It was only during therapy did she realize she was anxious and that a lot of her teenage behavior was linked to childhood abuse. During the interview, she goes into detail of her risky teenage behavior and why it offered her emotional validation. Nevertheless, she shares how “disassociation” was perhaps the most significant consequence from her abuse, and this symptom showed up throughout her life in different ways.   Acceptance of abuse, for her, was heart-wrenching and healing. There was a lot of grief in acceptance, but confronting it helped her move forward. The impact of her acceptance was profound not only for her but also for her family. It allowed everyone in the family to really open up and realize that the abuse that was took place was quite widespread throughout the family.   Deidre now feels grateful for her abuse because it has given her an opportunity to acquire an incredible skill set that she utilizes today to help others. She goes into detail about her abuse and shares how her discomfort of ‘being at the front of the room’, particularly as a speaker, had its origin in her past trauma.   Being coached changed her life. Through coaching, she realized that we all generally have the same experiences in life. We all feel fear, shame or guilt at some point in our life. Knowing that you are not alone helps share the load though.   Deidre talks about why reaching out is so essential even before knowing the source. She believes that with the help of others and by listening to their stories, we can often come to acknowledge and accept our own traumatic experiences. Deidre calls this the mirror effect. By reaching out to a like-minded community, we are more likely to see and hear our pain others more than in ourselves. Then through this constant feedback, we can come to terms with our anxiety. This is her primary suggestion to anyone struggling with anxiety who might be afraid to reach out for therapy.   In the final part of the podcast, Deidre reveals that anxiety has taught her that, “I am a strong, powerful woman who has a lot to offer to the world.” Her strategy to confront anxiety is to play in her mind what’s the worst that can happen. By being purposeful about it, then going back and asking is it really true, she comes to accept that “the zombie apocalypse is not happening today!” This helps her work through the situation and feel more personal control.   Finally, the current situation of Covid-19 and how it can trigger anxiety is acknowledged.   Timestamps • [02:23] What ...
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    56 分
  • Ep 1: Sometimes It's Still Hard To Be Me

    Ep 1: Sometimes It's Still Hard To Be Me
    2020/05/26

    In this first episode, our guest is David Gill from Oakland, California. He's a successful architect, graduate school professor, and faculty advisor at the Academy of Art University. In addition, he is principal at architect at David Gill Architect.

    Today, David pulls back the curtain on growing up with Anxiety, how hard it was and is still sometimes to be himself, as well as how he has learned not only to survive but also thrive despite it.

     

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    Shownotes:
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    58 分