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Ep 4: It's Okay Not To Be Perfect: Discomfort is Natural
- 2020/07/13
- 再生時間： 50 分
- ポッドキャスト
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サマリー
あらすじ・解説
Kylie unveils her experience of growing up with anxiety, how it held her back and how she learned to overcome it through mindset, strict food discipline and spirituality. It’s an informative hour about living a life with high-functioning & food anxiety. ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Shownotes: In this fourth episode, our guest is Kylie Hines from Omaha, Nebraska. She is currently a Math teacher, Volleyball Coach and mentor. She has 10+ years of experience in coaching, teaching and holds a Master’s Degree in Ministry. Taking advantage of their quarantine date nights, she recently started a coaching business with her husband called, "We Well Walk." It is about helping others stop missing out on moments in life that matter the most due to lack of presence, openness and appreciation. In response to the first question about why she is proud of her life today, Kylie explains that despite her busy schedule as a teacher, coach and mother, she has taken the day for herself! This is a highly unusual decision, as she is just learning that it is okay to experience self-care. Already today, she has taken her kids to the sitter, taken a nap and will spend the rest of day resting however she likes. Kylie further explains how Covid-19 has disrupted every aspect of normal life. As a mother of two very young children, as well as being a wife, coach & teacher who is working from home during the pandemic, she has been quite challenged in balancing these demanding aspects of her life. Anxiety Overview: Kylie’s anxiety stems from two things: 1. fear of not being perfect, and 2. effect of certain foods on her health. The podcast starts with Kylie tracing her anxiety back to childhood. As a kid, she loved school. The symptoms of anxiety started when she was in elementary school. She recounts the last day before summer vacation in elementary school when she started having stomach aches. As they worsened, her parents took her to several doctors with no clear diagnosis and presumed it was due to psychological reasons. Eventually, the doctors suggested to her mother that Kylie be evaluated by a psychologist. Kylie remembers being asked one question by the psychologist that is often considered a way to define an individual’s life perspective: Is the glass half full or empty. Because Kylie had an overall positive outlook on life, her answer was "half full." Unfortunately, the psychologist failed to diagnose her high level of stress & anxiety in the context of her response. As a result, Kylie’s stomach aches persisted; she internalized and adjusted to them being a normal part of her life. Fast forward twenty years, Kylie’s pain and anxiety worsened after having her second child. On the insistence of her husband, Kylie met with a therapist and finally learned that both food and anxiety were causing her stomach aches. As Kylie reflects on those twenty years, she can clearly see how anxiety affected her life. As a very high functioning individual, she performed well in school and sports: she was a perfectionist. What she would learn is that perfectionism comes with its own disadvantages; for instance, becoming a procrastinator and a risk avoider. Kylie was committed to not failing. She didn't want to put herself in situations where she thought she could not or would not perform well. This required a lot of energy, and it was exhausting. For example, even though she was a very athletic individual, and she didn't compete in certain events so that she would avoid potential embarrassment. If Kylie thought she would be socially compromised in some way at an event, she would pre-plan on how to handle it, particularly in larger groups. Stuck up and selfish are ways that Kylie presumes she was perceived because she was so conscientious. These labels exacerbate anxiety. Kylie shares Stanford Research that shows that children given titles like ‘talented’ or ‘smart’ during their early years can be harmful to them later in life. It posits that such titles make them feel they must perform exceptionally all the time. Kylie felt that such expectations did not allow her creative space and hindered her potential. The dissonance, however, is always remarkable. While some may be proud of their perfect grades, people suffering from anxiety can experience the same experience differently. Nothing ever seems quite good enough and fear of losing status. Kylie’s mother died at age 48 from a cardiac event, and this was a turning point in her life. It changed her perspective on life and really showed her that life is very short and that many things are taken for granted. Consequently, she realized that she needed to be more appreciative and be more present in life. Another significant moment for Kylie was one day while helping lead retreats for ...