What if the behaviors you’re trying to “fix”—overworking, overeating, hoarding, choosing unhealthy relationships, withdrawing, or sabotaging your own success—aren’t random flaws? What if they’re clues?

In this conversation, Alina speaks with Charlene Underhill Miller, a psychotherapist, educator, coach, writer, lecturer, and marriage and family therapist based in California. Together, they explore how childhood trauma, neglect, and family patterns can show up later in relationships, work, parenting, food habits, and self-sabotage.You’ll learn how to recognize repeating patterns without judging yourself, replace “Why did I do that?” with more useful questions, and begin turning old pain into insight, connection, and meaningful change.

In this episode, you’ll discover how to:

• Recognize when a current behavior may be connected to an older emotional wound
• Understand why you may repeat familiar—even unhealthy—relationship patterns
• Replace judgment and shame with curiosity
• Identify whether you’re using food, work, possessions, or control to create comfort or safety
• Notice the “internal saboteur” that may be protecting you from failure or rejection
• Understand why some children seek negative attention rather than no attention
• Build more honest, supportive relationships and communities
• Talk about difficult experiences without immediately trying to fix them
• Use simple practices to identify patterns and make new choices
• Reframe your history as something that can inform your future rather than define it

About Charlene:
https://underhillmiller.com/

Dr. Miller works regularly with clients experiencing depression, anxiety and self-sabotage, including unusual behaviors such as hoarding. Her doctoral work focused on specialized care to adults and children who have been affected by sexual abuse and trauma.

Find Alina Here:
Resources:

- Get Alina's Book! Thoughtful Aging - Restoring Honor to the Aging Process: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D7D92HZ5/

- Get your free Thoughtful Aging Guide: https://www.bpwcenter.com/

Follow Alina and her work here:

- Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@BecomingYears

- Instagram - @thebecomingyearspodcast: https://www.instagram.com/bridgeportlaserandwellness

- Facebook - @TheBecomingYears: https://www.facebook.com/bridgeportwellness/

Have A Question?

- Have a Question For Alina That You’d Like To Hear Answered on the Podcast? Leave her a Voice Note Here: https://www.speakpipe.com/thebecomingyearspodcast

This episode explores how fear, resentment, and unchecked emotions shape workplace culture, from employer leadership to employee behavior. Alina speaks with Debbie Longo, a workplace development coach with 24 plus years of experience, about how self-evaluation, discomfort, and mindset shifts can change the energy of a business.We discuss how negative culture can take root, why fear shows up in both thoughts and behavior, and how employers and employees can each take responsibility for their role in creating a healthier environment.

Main Topics Covered:

• How to identify and shift cultural negativity among staff
• The power of self-evaluation and energy shifts for leaders and employees
• Practical ways to manage fear and build resilient workplace environments
• The impact of regular feedback—bosses evaluating themselves too!
• Why gut-wrenching discomfort can be your fastest route to success
  

Timestamps

00:00 - Introducing Debbie Longo and the focus on workplace emotions
05:00 - Fear, worry, and how mental energy shows up at work
13:25 - How strong leaders monitor themselves constantly
16:27 - Why yearly feedback may be too slow to create change
17:54 - Discomfort as the real growth strategy
31:24 - How fear, gossip, and silence create workplace tension
35:17 - The roadmap for getting rid of fear
36:11 - Learning to shut off work behavior at home
38:07 - When a bad morning follows you into the workplace
39:46 - Direct feedback versus compassionate curiosity
40:22 - What to do when an employee's behavior is not acceptable
49:29 - Hire slow, fire fast
58:51 - Gratitude, beauty, and breathing as tools to move through fear
63:36 - Debbie's closing view: negativity can be turned into positivity

Debbie's Resources & Links:

• Workplace Development Coaching — Debbie Longo's official site
• Energy Shift Concepts — YouTube video explaining the energy vibe beneath success

• LinkedIn
• Twitter

Follow Alina and her work here:

- Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@BecomingYears

- Instagram - @bridgeportlaserandwellness: https://www.instagram.com/bridgeportlaserandwellness

- Facebook - @bridgeportwellness: https://www.facebook.com/bridgeportwellness/

- Get Alina's Book! Thoughtful Aging - Restoring Honor to the Aging Process: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D7D92HZ5/

- Get your free Thoughtful Aging Guide: https://www.bpwcenter.com/

Have A Question?

- Have a Question For Alina That You’d Like To Hear Answered on the Podcast? Leave her a Voice Note Here: https://www.speakpipe.com/thebecomingyearspodcast

In this episode of The Becoming Years, Alina and Margaret Gardiner, former Beauty Queen, Journalist, & Author, talk about her debut novel Damaged Beauty: Joey Superstar and the deeper themes behind it: self-worth, people-pleasing, and the cost of performance.

Margaret shares how her background in psychology and her early experiences in beauty and fashion shaped the story. Together, they explore how women are often trained to self-blame, stay likable, and put others first at their own expense.

Margaret explains why her protagonist, Joey, is intentionally unlikable at first — because real healing often begins in uncomfortable, imperfect places. They also discuss how books can open difficult conversations between mothers and daughters and how compassion can coexist with strong boundaries.

The episode closes on a hopeful note: you are not your image, you are not your mistakes, and it is always possible to change. Damaged Beauty: Joey Superstar, is the kind of story that stays with you — honest, messy, powerful, and so worth reading.

Timeline

• 0:01 — Introduction to Margaret Gardiner and her background
• 1:13 — Margaret explains the inner voice and the book’s core message
• 2:09 — Fiction vs. autobiography and why the story is partly personal
• 8:12 — The hidden cost behind glamour and public images
• 12:14 — Teaching younger generations what to do in hard situations
• 13:57 — Why the book can spark mother-daughter conversations
• 17:18 — Self-blame and people-pleasing in women
• 20:28 — Breaking repeated patterns and creating new outcomes
• 22:53 — Performative behavior and living for others’ expectations
• 31:37 — Navigating obligation, self-sacrifice, and self-worth
• 33:40 — Using tools to protect your emotional safety
• 43:04 — Margaret shares a story about online bullying and responding with compassion
• 52:09 — Shame, harmful habits, and the danger of self-destruction
• 55:05 — The power of stepping back before falling too far
• 58:34 — Final message: women don’t have to be perfect to change

Win a signed copy of Damaged Beauty: Joey Superstar - Here’s how to enter:

1. Follow on Instagram:

@margaret_gardiner and @thebecomingyearspodcast

1. Tag a friend in the comments
2. Every friend you tag = one extra entry
3. Winner will be chosen randomly on 8/17/26

More about Margaret:
https://www.margaretgardiner.com/
Order the book: https://a.co/d/02m6s3zg
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/c/MargaretGardinerUniverse
FB: https://www.facebook.com/MargaretGardinerOfficial
IG: https://www.instagram.com/margaret_gardiner/

Unlock the secrets to boosting your self-esteem and transforming your life with wisdom from Dame Clarissa Burt, a knighted international media icon, former supermodel, and author of The Self-Esteem Regime.

In this inspiring episode, Clarissa shares how her tumultuous childhood fueled her passion for helping others, revealing practical, bite-sized tools to strengthen confidence, resilience, and emotional intelligence, especially when life feels overwhelming.

You'll discover the four pillars of self-esteem - look good, feel good, be good, and give back—plus actionable steps to nurture each. Clarissa breaks down how to cultivate inner strength through boundaries, integrity, and a growth mindset rooted in genuine self-care.

She shares personal stories from her time in fashion and television, emphasizing the importance of authenticity, perseverance, and a supportive tribe. Learn how to navigate rejection in industries rife with it, and why showing up with honesty and kindness creates ripple effects far beyond your expectations.This episode underscores why self-esteem isn’t just about feeling good—it’s your foundation for resilience during storms, your tool for meaningful connections, and your secret weapon for a life of purpose.

Perfect for anyone seeking confidence, clarity, and connection - especially women navigating change, rejection, and growth. Leave feeling inspired, empowered, and equipped with tangible strategies to elevate your self-esteem from the inside out.

Clarissa Burt is an award-winning media personality, former model, and social advocate, honored by the Vatican and renowned for her work empowering women through self-love and resilience. Her story of transformation proves that it's never too late to redefine your path and embrace your true power.

Timestamps:

00:00 - Introduction to Clarissa Burt and her knighthood

01:07 - Clarissa's background and diverse career journey

02:47 - The motivation behind her book, The Self-Esteem Regime

04:29 - Navigating the self-help landscape and social media influences

06:56 - Handling life's storms with the right emotional tools

08:43 - Overcoming feelings of being 'too much'

09:43 - Building emotional intelligence and value systems

12:28 - Approaching personal growth as a journey, not a task

15:01 - Clarissa’s experience with the modeling industry and her purpose beyond appearances

18:32 - The importance of integrity and professionalism in rejection

21:02 - Clarissa’s process for enhancing self-esteem through her book’s chapters

22:45 - Empathy and understanding your purpose in helping others

25:24 - Highlighting her recognition by the Vatican and her charitable work

30:01 - Addressing domestic violence and creating pathways for escape

36:57 - Final thoughts on giving back and living with purpose

Follow Dame Clarissa Burt Online!
https://clarissaburt.com/
FB: https://www.facebook.com/ClarissaBurtInternational

IG: https://www.instagram.com/clarissaburt/
The Self Esteem Regime

Some conversations feel less like interviews and more like catching up with a life-long friend—and that’s exactly what this episode is. Today, I’m joined by my dear friend Danielle Van Auken, founder of Organic Bronze Bar, to talk about the journey of turning a passion for helping women feel confident into a nationally recognized franchise rooted in purpose and connection.

Danielle and I share more than a friendship—we share a belief that beauty is about so much more than appearance. It’s about how we make people feel, the stories we carry, and the communities we create along the way. In this conversation, Danielle opens up about the evolution of Organic Bronze Bar from a single spa location into a growing franchise, the importance of protecting what makes a brand truly unique, and why integrity, authenticity, and shared values matter more than rapid expansion.

This episode is a beautiful reminder that the most successful businesses are often built on something much deeper than a product—they’re built on relationships, purpose, and the desire to make a meaningful difference in people’s lives.

Join us for this inspiring conversation about friendship, entrepreneurship, and creating a legacy that empowers women one connection at a time.

Timestamps:

00:00 - Introduction to Danielle Van Auken and the story behind Organic Bronze Bar
00:20 - What makes Organic Bronze Bar's formula unique? The importance of natural ingredients and transparency
02:28 - Challenges of protecting a formula without a patent, and actions taken to safeguard secrets
03:09 - Danielle’s inspiration from her early days in aesthetics and the evolution of spray tanning
03:54 - Building a business rooted in safe, clean, and effective products during a time of high UV risks
05:13 - The significance of community and customer stories in franchising growth
10:11 - From a single salon to a national franchise: the journey and the power of word-of-mouth
13:54 - The importance of purpose in franchising: empowering women and fostering a caring community
17:13 - Key qualities and values Danielle seeks in franchise partners: authenticity, love for women, respect
22:02 - Personal stories of franchise clients overcoming health struggles and feeling celebrated
25:42 - Protecting the culture: Danielle’s deliberate standards for selecting franchisees
26:49 - The societal shift towards ethical business and women’s empowerment
29:25 - Employee development and leadership as a core part of business growth
32:34 - Creating career pathways for employees and supporting women entrepreneurs
38:11 - Words of wisdom: following your passion with integrity and building options for yourself and others
40:10 - Connecting with Danielle and the legacy of Organic Bronze Bar

Resources & Links:

• Organic Bronze Bar Website
• LinkedIn
• Instagram
• Facebook

If you’re ready to level up your self-worth, ditch the perfectionism, and celebrate even the smallest wins, then this episode is your new best friend.

Join Alina & Amy on a rollercoaster ride through the wild worlds of hormones, success, and the core beliefs that shape our lives - told in a way that only Amy Lenius can deliver. This episode is packed with practical, hilarious insights on transforming your mindset and habits. Amy explains how tiny tweaks—like celebrating laundry or ditching perfection—can lead to massive success.

If you've ever wondered how to thrive as a woman, embrace holistic growth, and stop self-sabotaging, this one's for you.Key Topics:

• The three foundational pillars: Self-Worth, Self-Belief, and Consistency
• The power of celebrating small wins for building confidence
• How to tailor habit trackers to your unique season of life
• The difference between self-esteem and self-worth explained in three sentences
• Frameworks for creating unshakable self-belief: State, Prove, Self-Assign
• Handling core wounds: Defective, Unlovable, Unwanted—oh my!
• Vulnerability and authenticity in relationships with men and women
• The importance of personalized habit tracking and freeing yourself from perfectionism
• How personality profiling informs effective self-growth
• The magic of 'letting go' and embracing internal maps to liberation

Resources & Links:

• Next Level University
• Book Recommendations for Self-Confidence and Growth

Connect with Amy:

• Instagram
• Facebook

Alina’s show notes:

Resources:

- Get Alina's Book! Thoughtful Aging - Restoring Honor to the Aging Process: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D7D92HZ5/

- Get your free Thoughtful Aging Guide: https://www.bpwcenter.com/

Follow Alina and her work here:

- YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@BecomingYears

- Instagram - @bridgeportlaserandwellness: https://www.instagram.com/bridgeportlaserandwellness

- Facebook - @bridgeportwellness: https://www.facebook.com/bridgeportwellness/

Have A Question?

- Have a Question For Alina That You’d Like To Hear Answered on the Podcast? Leave her a Voice Note Here: https://www.speakpipe.com/thebecomingyearspodcast

Ever feel like life keeps testing your patience and your joy? Today, Shannon Donahoe-Simpson is a TEDx speaker, cancer survivor, and joy enthusiast. She joins Alina to spill the tea on how she turned life's chaos into a pathway for awakening her inner happiness. Spoiler alert: it involves boundaries, bravery, and some awesome dance moves.

In this episode:

00:00 - Welcome to the Becoming Years: Finding Joy in the Journey

02:07 - Shannon’s childhood trauma and her breakthrough moment

03:50 - Sharing her story to empower others and break silence

06:44 - Filing her first police report against her grandfather

07:47 - Life crashing down: cancer diagnosis and managing autism

10:23 - The coaching journey and inner work through plant medicine

12:55 - The moment she realized she was asking her children to do her inner work

15:28 - Becoming the mirror: reflecting on anxiety and personal growth

16:48 - The profound insight: “It’s not everybody else, it’s me”

18:34 - How intuition and self-trust create peace amidst chaos

20:49 - The vulnerability of joy and the courage to love again

22:29 - Joy as a solo experience—learning to find happiness within

23:37 - Dancing as a daily practice for emotional regulation

26:17 - Grief and joy: how to make space for both

28:13 - Tools for calming the nervous system and staying present in relationships

30:37 - The importance of feeling safe and cultivating inner peace

36:44 - Communication, boundaries, and staying centered during conflict

39:05 - Recognizing when it’s safe to open your heart and find true safety

41:14 - Becoming magnetized to the love and joy you desire

45:43 - Practical steps for online dating and self-discovery

48:17 - Trusting your intuition and reading body language for better relationships

50:53 - The power of small steps and brave decisions in life and love

51:33 - Final words: follow joy, take action, and embrace your authentic self

Resources & Links:

• Upcoming Brave Enough Workshop https://shannondonahoesimpson.com/workshops

• The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo
• Shannon Donahoe-Simpson’s Website - https://shannondonaho simpson.com
• Follow Shannon on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/shannondonohoesimpson/
• Toolbox Tuesdays Podcast https://shannondonahoesimpson.com/podcast

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shannon.donohoesimpson
• LinkedIn https://linkedin.com/in/shannondonahoesimpson
• Twitter https://twitter.com/shannondonahoesimpson
• YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@shannondonohoesimpson/videos

Ever wonder what makes life worth living beyond the paycheck? Alina Wilson teams up with Andy Semotiuk, a Forbes columnist and international law expert, to tackle the heavyweight questions — Who am I? Why am I here? And how do we stay resilient when the world throws shade? Spoiler alert: It’s all about values, purpose, and a good dose of humor.

Timestamps:
00:00 – Introducing Andy Semichuk: From Edmonton winters to Forbes columns
03:11 – Why these themes keep coming back in our lives and careers
05:39 – The philosophical foundation: Who am I and why am I here?
08:29 – Finding happiness through your unique abilities and flow
10:48 – The story of Carl Wallenda and risking it all for passion
14:24 – The evolution from a shy writer to a global communicator
15:44 – The story of struggling with self-doubt and self-definition
20:13 – Communicating complex ideas in simple, human language
22:19 – Ego, fear, and the vulnerability of speaking your truth
23:47 – When criticism comes knocking: Deal with it like a pro
25:42 – Developing resilience in a world of online trolls
27:17 – Living authentically: Your values as a life compass
32:29 – Cutting through the clutter: wisdom over information
37:30 – Defining core values: Integrity, honesty, love, humility, and more
40:24 – Universal vs. personal values and living true to yourself
41:53 – The debate: “Your truth” versus objective truth
44:47 – How to find common ground in a polarized world
46:40 – The role of humility and perspective in understanding reality
57:32 – The importance of character, resilience, and growth through hardship
67:55 – Parting words: Live your story, embrace purpose, and stay authentic

Andy's resources & links:

• The Big Picture with Andy Semotiuk (YouTube)
• Pace Law Firm (Toronto)
• Book: Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
• Book: Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

• LinkedIn
• Twitter

Have A Question?

- Have a Question For Alina? Leave her a Voice Note Here: https://www.speakpipe.com/thebecomingyearspodcast