Content warning: Episode addresses self-harm.

Summary

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin delves into the complex topic of self-harm, exploring its various forms beyond the commonly recognized behaviors.

She emphasizes the importance of understanding the underlying reasons for self-harming behaviors and introduces tools to help interrupt the cycle of shame and distress. The conversation highlights the need for compassion and professional support while providing resources for those in need.

Takeaways

Self-harm encompasses more than just physical acts.
It can manifest in subtle ways, even in those who seem fine.
Understanding the purpose behind self-harm is crucial for healing.
Self-harm often serves as a coping mechanism for emotional pain.
Common forms of self-harm include emotional sabotage and overworking.
Tools like using a red Sharpie can help manage impulses.
Recognizing patterns in self-harming behaviors is the first step to change.
Compassion towards oneself is essential in the healing process.
Professional help is recommended for those struggling with self-harm.
Resources are available for immediate support and guidance.

Vanessa Gorelkin, MA, OTR/L is a licensed Occupational Therapist with 30 years of experience. She is in private telehealth practice-- providing therapy and coaching services nationally and internationally.

To get in touch: call or text the podcast hotline-- 602-753-7020 or you can email at realoveridealpod@gmail.com

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, host Vanessa Gorelkin discusses the theme of bad decisions, coping, healing after mistakes and resilience. And she tells her all time favorite story about resilience after terrible trauma -- if you know her in real life, you probably have heard this story.

Vanessa tells about a career choice that turned out to be detrimental but ultimately led to valuable lessons and personal growth. (That's a nice way of saying the job was a nightmare because the boss was a toxic abusive micromanager, all her own opinions- obviously.)

The conversation explores the nature of resilience, emphasizing that it is not about avoiding failure but about how we recover and learn from our experiences.

Vanessa also addresses questions about regret and the importance of self-compassion for healing in the face of mistakes, highlighting that resilience includes rest and self-care.

Thank you for listening- it's been amazing to see how far and wide our listeners are from.

*****Please leave us a 5 star review and let us know where on Earth you're hearing the show- this helps us continue to find our audience & keep this podcast going.*****

Vanessa Gorelkin, MA, OTR/L is a licensed Occupational Therapist with 30 years of experience. She is in private telehealth practice-- providing therapy and coaching services nationally and internationally.

To get in touch: call or text the podcast hotline-- 602-753-7020 or you can email at realoveridealpod@gmail.com

In this conversation, Vanessa Gorelkin addresses common concerns about sleep, particularly the anxiety surrounding it. She emphasizes the importance of acceptance and self-care in achieving restful sleep, rather than obsessing over it. The discussion covers the impact of sleep debt on health, the phenomenon of revenge bedtime procrastination, and practical tips for fostering a healthier relationship with sleep.

Takeaways

Shift your self-talk from 'I have to sleep' to 'my body will take the sleep it needs.'
Sleep doesn't respond to worrying efforts; it responds to acceptance.
Close your eyes and roll your gaze upward to relax.
Revenge bedtime procrastination is a protest against feeling overwhelmed.
Sleep is a communication from our nervous system, not a report card.
Focus on reducing pressure and calming your nervous system.
One or two rough nights of sleep don't equal long-term damage.
Make one small shift this week to support your sleep.
If you can't fall asleep, pause and accept the moment.
Sleep is about the relationship between you and your body.

Vanessa Gorelkin, MA, OTR/L is a licensed Occupational Therapist with 30 years of experience. She is in private telehealth practice-- providing therapy and coaching services nationally and internationally.

To get in touch: call or text the podcast hotline-- 602-753-7020 or you can email at realoveridealpod@gmail.com

**Bonus Episode**

In this bonus episode, Vanessa Gorelkin shares insights from her recent guest appearance and chat with Tracy Otsuka on her hit podcast, ADHD for Smart Ass Women.

Vanessa shares some fun facts about the recording, including her experiences and the environment during the episode. Vanessa also provides practical tips for listeners on how to live authentically and overcome challenges in their lives.

Takeaways
You don't have to make it perfect or finish-- you just need to start.
Perfection can't chase you if you're already moving.
Do the thing, even if it's challenging.

Check out ADHD for Smart Ass Women Podcast with Tracy Otsuka:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-for-smart-ass-women-with-tracy-otsuka/id1443678424

Vanessa's most recent appearance on Tracy's podcast

Episode 337: Internal family systems and ADHD

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-for-smart-ass-women-with-tracy-otsuka/id1443678424?i=1000713426671

Episode 209: DBT, Trauma and ADHD

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-for-smart-ass-women-with-tracy-otsuka/id1443678424?i=1000592348084

Episode 198: Occupational Therapy and ADHD

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-for-smart-ass-women-with-tracy-otsuka/id1443678424?i=1000583170675

Thanks for listening!

Vanessa Gorelkin, MA, OTR/L is a licensed Occupational Therapist with 30 years of experience. She is in private telehealth practice-- providing therapy and coaching services nationally and internationally.

To get in touch: call or text the podcast hotline-- 602-753-7020 or you can email at realoveridealpod@gmail.com

Can ChatGpt replace your therapist?

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin explores the intersection of AI and mental health, particularly focusing on the capabilities and limitations of tools like ChatGPT in therapeutic contexts.

She discusses the appeal of AI for individuals seeking mental health support, especially those who are neurodivergent or face barriers to traditional therapy.

While acknowledging the potential benefits of AI in providing guidance and support, Vanessa emphasizes the importance of understanding its limitations, particularly in areas such as emotional regulation and the therapeutic alliance.

The episode concludes with reflections on how to use AI responsibly as a supplementary tool for self-reflection and growth.

Takeaways

AI can provide support but cannot replace human therapists.
Therapy is often inaccessible, making AI appealing.
AI can help clarify thoughts and practice skills.
Therapeutic alliance is crucial for effective therapy.
AI lacks the ability to read emotional cues.
Using AI requires intentionality and self-awareness.
It's important to check in with your feelings after using AI.
AI can be a tool for self-reflection and growth.
Using AI should not reinforce isolation.
Balance AI use with human connection.

Vanessa Gorelkin, MA, OTR/L is a licensed Occupational Therapist with 30 years of experience. She is in private telehealth practice-- providing therapy and coaching services nationally and internationally.

To get in touch: call or text the podcast hotline-- 602-753-7020 or you can email at realoveridealpod@gmail.com

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, your host, Vanessa Gorelkin explores the relationship between stress and physical symptoms, introducing the Internal Family Systems (IFS) approach to understanding our emotional and mental health.

She discusses how different parts of ourselves react to stress and how these reactions can manifest physically. Vanessa provides practical strategies for self-compassion and understanding our internal dynamics, particularly in relation to ADHD and physical tension.

The episode emphasizes the importance of acknowledging our feelings and communicating with our bodies to foster healing and emotional well-being.

Takeaways

Stress can manifest physically in various ways.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) helps us understand our mind's parts.
Recognizing our parts can lead to better self-awareness.
Anxiety can show up as physical symptoms like tension.
It's important to acknowledge our feelings instead of ignoring them.
Self-compassion is key to managing emotional distress.
Understanding our internal dynamics can help with ADHD challenges.
Our body communicates through sensations and tension.
We can support our parts with compassion and reassurance.
Recognizing when our system is trying to protect us is crucial.

Vanessa Gorelkin, MA, OTR/L is a licensed Occupational Therapist with 30 years of experience. She is in private telehealth practice-- providing therapy and coaching services nationally and internationally.

To get in touch: call or text the podcast hotline-- 602-753-7020 or you can email at realoveridealpod@gmail.com

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin talks about emotional and cultural implications of the ongoing Diddy trial, exploring how celebrity abuse cases affect our mental health and societal perceptions.

She discusses the challenges of consuming media related to such sensitive topics and offers strategies for maintaining emotional well-being while staying informed.

The conversation also touches on the complexities of separating art from the artist and the importance of facing uncomfortable truths for societal change.

Takeaways

The Diddy trial serves as a cultural reckoning for many.
Celebrity abuse cases can deeply affect sensitive individuals.
Media consumption can hijack our nervous systems.
It's important to set limits on media consumption.
Protecting your mental health is paramount.
Understanding our reactions can help us navigate trauma.
Choosing reliable sources is crucial in media consumption.
You can stay informed without sacrificing your peace of mind.
Art and artist can coexist, even uncomfortably.
Facing uncomfortable truths is essential for change.

Vanessa Gorelkin, MA, OTR/L is a licensed Occupational Therapist with 30 years of experience. She is in private telehealth practice-- providing therapy and coaching services nationally and internationally.

To get in touch: call or text the podcast hotline-- 602-753-7020 or you can email at realoveridealpod@gmail.com

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin discusses the complexities of anger, emphasizing that it is not the emotion itself that is problematic, but rather how we respond to it.

She shares personal anecdotes and practical tools for managing anger, particularly through the lens of occupational therapy and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

The conversation explores the importance of emotional regulation, the impact of stress on relationships, and strategies for navigating anger in parenting and interpersonal dynamics.

Takeaways from the epsiode:

Anger is a natural emotion, not a moral failing.
Uncontrollable anger stems from emotion regulation issues.
You can create space between feeling angry and reacting.
Labeling your feelings can help manage emotional responses.
"Dropping the rope" in a mental tug-of-war can reduce conflict.
Anchoring yourself in values guides your actions during anger.
De-fusion techniques help avoid getting tangled in angry thoughts.
Meeting your basic needs can prevent emotional outbursts.
Curiosity about your feelings can lead to better understanding.
Calm boundaries are more effective than explosive reactions.

Vanessa Gorelkin, MA, OTR/L is a licensed Occupational Therapist with 30 years of experience. She is in private telehealth practice-- providing therapy and coaching services nationally and internationally.

To get in touch: call or text the podcast hotline-- 602-753-7020 or you can email at realoveridealpod@gmail.com