Boundaries sound simple—but when you’re navigating divorce or co-parenting, actually setting and holding them can feel incredibly hard.

In this episode of Divorcing Without Damage, Dr. Leslie Roberts breaks down what a healthy boundary really is, why so many things we call “boundaries” are actually demands, and how guilt can make us question perfectly reasonable limits.

You’ll learn why a boundary is about what you will do—not controlling what someone else does, why over-explaining can turn a simple boundary into a 45-minute negotiation, and what to do when someone pushes back or gets angry.

Dr. Leslie also shares practical examples for setting boundaries with an ex, family members, and friends—including simple language you can actually use in real life.

Because setting a boundary doesn’t make you selfish, difficult, or the villain. Sometimes, it simply means you’re learning to stop abandoning yourself in order to keep everyone else comfortable.

You don’t need permission to have limits. You just need to practice holding them.

What if the parenting plan that feels most fair to the adults isn’t actually the best fit for the child?

In this episode of Divorcing Without Damage, Dr. Leslie Roberts takes a closer look at one of the most important—and often overlooked—parts of divorce: the parenting plan.

As a forensic psychologist, evaluator, and child-centered divorce coach, Leslie has seen countless parenting plans built around equal time, equal holidays, and what feels fair between two parents. But she challenges us to consider a different question: What does this particular child actually need?

From the popular 50/50 week-on, week-off schedule to the developmental needs of toddlers, young children, tweens, and teenagers, Leslie explains why there is no one-size-fits-all parenting plan. Age, temperament, distance between homes, school schedules, activities, and each parent’s real-world capacity all matter.

She also explains why a parenting plan shouldn't be treated as something that is signed once and defended forever. Kids grow. Their needs change. Families change. A plan that works beautifully at five may not make sense at twelve or sixteen.

Most importantly, Leslie shares three child-first questions every parent should ask when creating or revisiting a parenting plan:

1. What does my child need right now, developmentally?
2. What is actually sustainable for both households?
3. How will we know when the plan stops working—and how will we revisit it?

Because a parenting plan isn't just a peace treaty between two adults. It's the framework your child is going to live inside.

Your child didn't choose the divorce. The very least the parenting plan can do is be built around them.

Find more tools, scripts, and support at childcentereddivorce.net.

What if the healthiest way to parent after divorce is actually having less contact with your ex?

For many divorced parents, the idea of “successful co-parenting” comes with an expectation that you should be friendly, flexible, and able to communicate easily. But what happens when every conversation turns into conflict, every schedule change reopens old wounds, and your kids can feel the tension during every exchange?

In this episode of Divorcing Without Damage, Dr. Leslie Roberts breaks down the difference between collaborative co-parenting and parallel parenting—and why parallel parenting is not a failure.

You'll learn:

• What parallel parenting actually is

• How it differs from traditional co-parenting

• Why less contact can sometimes create more peace

• How to recognize which parenting model may fit your family

• What parallel parenting is—and what it is not

• Why calm, predictable homes matter more than having a friendly relationship with your co-parent

There is no trophy for having the friendliest co-parenting relationship. The real goal is calmer kids, predictable transitions, and homes where everyone’s nervous system has a chance to breathe.

Sometimes, the wiser choice isn't learning how to communicate more.

It's learning how to structure communication better.

What do you actually say to your kids when you’re getting divorced? The answer depends on their age—and getting it right matters.

In this episode, Leslie breaks down how to talk to children about divorce from the toddler years through adulthood. She explains what young children need to hear, how school-aged kids process divorce, why tweens need honesty without feeling managed, and how to give teenagers more truth without turning them into confidants.

You’ll learn:

• What toddlers and preschoolers actually need to know
• Why young children often blame themselves for the divorce
• How to use concrete information and calendars to create security
• How much “why” to share with school-aged children
• Why tweens need honesty without blame or oversharing
• The critical difference between teenagers being able to understand something and being an appropriate audience for it
• What to do if you've already told your child too much
• Why one imperfect conversation doesn't determine your child's outcome
• The three things every child needs: Be concrete. Be consistent. Be repeatable.

You don't need one perfect speech. You need an ongoing, honest, age-appropriate relationship with each of your children.

Because when it comes to divorce, give your child the truth they are ready to carry—not the truth you need to tell.

In Part Two of this important conversation, Dr. Leslie Roberts sits down again with psychologist and colleague Ben Burgess to get practical about what parents can actually do when divorce and co-parenting begin heading toward high conflict.

What happens when a child starts resisting time with the other parent? How should the rejected parent respond without making things worse? And what responsibility does the preferred parent have when a child says they don't want to go?

Leslie and Ben unpack the complicated dynamics behind parental preference and resistance, including the ways divorce can amplify normal childhood preferences, how parents can unintentionally reinforce conflict, and why responding with anger, withdrawal, or litigation can make an already painful situation worse.

They also talk about the importance of meaningful relationships with both parents when safety is not an issue, why "my child is uncomfortable" isn't always a reason to avoid something, and how parents can use communication, boundaries, and intentional support to keep their families from getting pulled deeper into the court system.

Most importantly, this episode is about getting help before the conflict becomes entrenched. By the time a family reaches custody evaluations, parenting coordination, and repeated court battles, everyone may be deeply invested in the conflict—and the emotional and financial cost can be enormous.

If you're navigating divorce or co-parenting and you can see things starting to go sideways, this conversation offers a different path: stop trying to win and start making decisions that protect your children.

This is Part Two of Leslie and Ben's conversation about high-conflict divorce.

What happens when divorce gets stuck in conflict?

In this episode of Divorcing Without Damage, I sit down with my colleague and friend of more than 20 years, psychologist Ben Burgess, LLP, for a candid conversation about high-conflict divorce, the family court system, and what happens to children when parental conflict becomes the center of family life.

Ben and I have spent much of our careers working with families in the forensic and family court systems, and we've seen firsthand how quickly conflict can escalate—and how difficult it can be for families to move forward once they get stuck there.

We talk about:

• Why ongoing parental conflict can be more damaging to children than the divorce itself
• What actually happens during custody and parenting-time evaluations
• Why a psychological evaluation isn't necessarily the "smoking gun" parents expect it to be
• How the court system can unintentionally become another arena for conflict
• Why children need meaningful relationships with both parents whenever it is safe
• The difference between a flawed parent and a parent who truly poses a risk
• What happens when parents begin to see every mistake by the other parent as evidence that their child needs protection
• And why the ultimate goal should be helping families avoid getting to the point where the court has to make these decisions for them

This is Part 1 of a two-part conversation with Ben. In Part 2, we'll get much more practical and talk about what parents can actually do to change the trajectory, reduce conflict, and create a healthier post-divorce family.

Because the goal isn't to have a perfect divorce.

The goal is to build a family your kids can thrive in after the divorce.

What happens when traditional co-parenting advice—communicate openly, assume positive intent, and work together—just doesn’t work?

In this episode of Divorcing Without Damage, Dr. Leslie Roberts breaks down the difference between a difficult co-parent and a truly high-conflict co-parent, and why knowing the difference matters. She shares practical strategies for protecting your peace and your children when communication becomes a source of conflict, including the BIFF method (Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm), gray rocking, setting communication boundaries, and knowing when not to respond at all.

Most importantly, Dr. Leslie offers a powerful reframe: you can't change how your co-parent communicates—you can only change how you engage with it.

If you're exhausted from defending yourself, responding to constant messages, or feeling like you're perpetually on trial, this episode will give you a different way forward—one that prioritizes stability, regulation, and your children's well-being over winning the next exchange.

Your kids don't need you to be perfect. They need you to be steady.

When your ex is 15 minutes late and your body reacts like the world is ending... it's probably not about the 15 minutes.

In this episode, Dr. Leslie Roberts explains what emotional triggers really are, why your nervous system responds so intensely to seemingly small events, and how unresolved experiences from the past can quietly shape your reactions in the present.

You'll learn how to recognize the difference between a legitimate problem and an emotional trigger, identify the unmet needs beneath your strongest reactions, and use Dr. Roberts' simple "Trigger Translator" to respond with greater clarity instead of reacting from old wounds.

Whether you're navigating divorce, co-parenting, or simply trying to better understand yourself, this episode will help you stop fighting today's battles with yesterday's pain.