Co-Parenting With a High-Conflict Ex: What to Do When “Just Communicate” Doesn’t Work
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Co-Parenting With a High-Conflict Ex: What to Do When “Just Communicate” Doesn’t Work
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What happens when traditional co-parenting advice—communicate openly, assume positive intent, and work together—just doesn’t work?
In this episode of Divorcing Without Damage, Dr. Leslie Roberts breaks down the difference between a difficult co-parent and a truly high-conflict co-parent, and why knowing the difference matters. She shares practical strategies for protecting your peace and your children when communication becomes a source of conflict, including the BIFF method (Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm), gray rocking, setting communication boundaries, and knowing when not to respond at all.
Most importantly, Dr. Leslie offers a powerful reframe: you can't change how your co-parent communicates—you can only change how you engage with it.
If you're exhausted from defending yourself, responding to constant messages, or feeling like you're perpetually on trial, this episode will give you a different way forward—one that prioritizes stability, regulation, and your children's well-being over winning the next exchange.
Your kids don't need you to be perfect. They need you to be steady.