Listen to Part 1 If you haven't listened to Part 1 of this conversation, go back and start there to hear Ashton's full journey through infertility, endometriosis, IVF, her loss at 16 weeks, and how she discovered that fitness was masking unprocessed trauma. Link to Part 1: https://www.sharnasouthan.com/podcasts/what-i-wish-i-knew-beyond-pregnancy-loss/episodes/2149104398 Welcome to Part 2 of my conversation with Ashton Koehlmoos—if you haven't listened to Part 1 yet, go back and start there to hear Ashton's full story of infertility, loss at 16 weeks, and her journey through the fitness industry's gaps. In this powerful continuation, we dive deep into the physiological reality of trauma—how it literally changes the way you breathe, how your shoulders curl in to protect your heart, and why your pelvic floor remembers what your mind tries to forget. Ashton shares the practical, body-based strategies that helped her rebuild trust with her body, and offers hope and guidance for anyone facing the terrifying prospect of pregnancy after loss. In this episode, we explore: The physical manifestation of trauma: How Ashton's shoulders curled in, restricting her breathing and oxygen flow to her brainThe power of breath: Understanding diaphragmatic breathing and why it feels like suffocating at first when you've been in survival modeCO2 tolerance: Why trauma keeps us in an "inhaled state" and how to slowly restore your body's natural breathing rhythmThe pelvic floor-diaphragm connection: How shallow breathing shuts off your body's natural stabilization systemThe 6-9 month healing timeline: Why breath work and reconnection take time (and that's okay)Loss IS postpartum: Why every pregnancy ends in postpartum—whether your baby is in your arms or notThe missing postpartum care for loss moms: How to honor your body's healing regardless of how long you carriedExercise myths during pregnancy: Debunking outdated advice and understanding what's actually supported by researchThe paralysis of pregnancy after loss: Working with fear, movement, and rebuilding safety incrementallyCause and effect thinking: Why we blame ourselves and how to release the guiltFinding trauma-informed support: What to look for in a coach who can hold both worldsFollowing your intuition: How to reconnect with your body's wisdom when it feels silenced Ashton's most powerful wisdom? "You don't have anything to prove to your body. It has not failed you. It is perfectly made. You're just in a rough patch right now. Follow your intuition—it's your body speaking to you, and it's never going to steer you wrong." This episode is essential listening for anyone navigating pregnancy after loss, working through unprocessed trauma, or trying to understand why their body feels different after loss. Ashton's approach is compassionate, evidence-based, and deeply rooted in honoring what your body has been through. Key moments from this episode between Sharna & Ashton On the Physical Reality of Trauma: After loss, Ashton's shoulders curled forward, protecting her heart. This restricted her lungs, diminishing oxygen flow to her brain—causing brain fog, difficulty thinking clearly, and an inability to make decisions. This wasn't "in her head"—it was a physiological response to trauma. On Breathing and Survival Mode: When we're in trauma, we exist in an "inhaled state"—shallow, rapid breathing that keeps oxygen in our system but never allows for a full exhale. This keeps us in fight-flight-freeze mode. Learning to exhale fully can feel like suffocating at first because our bodies have become so accustomed to holding onto oxygen. On Loss and Postpartum: "Every pregnancy ends in postpartum—whether you have your baby at home, in your arms, or not. Women who experience loss don't see themselves as postpartum, but we do have to honor the healing of the body and the pregnancy it had. All pregnancy ends in loss, and we need to honor that healing timeline." On Pregnancy After Loss: "There is no research that supports a correlation between exercise and causing loss. In fact, there are hundreds, if not thousands, of articles supporting the benefits of exercise in a healthy pregnancy. But what is safe and appropriate for pregnancy might not feel safe to you—and that's a massive gray area that needs to be honored." On Rebuilding Trust: "Movement might come from 'Can you walk down your driveway and back? How did that make you feel?' Then we add another layer. This is where it gets very individualized. If not doing anything is what feels safe to you, be okay with that and let the anxiety go." About Ashton Koehlmoos Ashton Koehlmoos is the founder of Resilient Mama Fitness and Lifestyle, where she supports mothers through all seasons of motherhood with evidence-based fitness and lifestyle education. After nearly five years of infertility, three surgeries, IVF, and the loss of her son Gabriel at 16 weeks, Ashton discovered massive gaps in postpartum care and ...
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