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We unpack reactions to the assassination of Charlie Kirk, the messy truths of trauma responses, and why some grief gets megaphones while other suffering stays invisible. Trauma reactions come in many forms. But what is it that makes such a tidal wave of reactions when the targets are high profile white men, but a resounding silence when it is from other groups.

• setting intentions, limits, and non‑violence
• why man‑made violence destabilizes more than disasters
• viral footage, repetition, and normal trauma responses
• witnessing harm and preventing entrenched PTSD
• media bias, scapegoating, and selective outrage
• interpersonal versus systemic violence
• sympathy, empathy, and compassion defined
• mixed feelings about public figures and moral nuance
• global grief hierarchies and who gets to be human
• systems “working as designed” and dehumanizing language
• moving from feeling to practice with concrete actions

Task yourself with one compassionate act this week that eases someone’s load—one person or one community. Share what you chose and why.

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/hartzmann/no-time-to-die
License code: S4CEQWLNQXVZUMU4

Artwork and logo design by Misty Rae.


Special thanks to Joanna Roux for editing help.
Special thanks to the listeners and all the wonderful people who helped listen to and provide feedback on the episode's prerelease.


Please feel free to email Matt topics or suggestions, questions or feedback.
Matt@unitedstatesofPTSD.com

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Amy returns to United States of PTSD to complete her powerful story of surviving clergy sexual abuse and the long, winding path to healing through religious deconstruction.

Following her abuse at age 15, Amy faced institutional gaslighting from the Catholic Church. Officials questioned what she "did to seduce" the priest and sent her parents a deliberately vague letter with double negatives that absolved them of responsibility. When they finally agreed to pay for therapy, they insisted on church-approved therapists—a dangerous conflict of interest that led to confidentiality breaches and further trauma.

The psychological damage of religious trauma compounded Amy's suffering for years. Growing up in purity culture, where virginity determined a woman's worth but consent was never discussed, left her feeling irreparably damaged after the assault. "If you're not a virgin when you get married, you're worthless," she explains. This toxic message, combined with being labeled as "trouble" by church authorities, fueled years of self-destruction and self-hatred.

Amy's deconstruction began slowly with questioning the institution rather than God. Watching "Spotlight," the film about clergy abuse in Boston, proved pivotal when she unexpectedly saw her abuser's name on screen. This public validation helped her redirect internalized shame toward its rightful target—the church that enabled her abuse. Years later, a confrontation with Cardinal Sean O'Malley, who showed no emotion as she sobbed about her trauma, cemented her disillusionment.

For those navigating similar journeys, Amy offers compassionate guidance: connect with others who've deconstructed, recognize the parallels between religious control tactics and cult behaviors, and honor your own timeline. "A big part of it is regaining your autonomy," she emphasizes, "allowing yourself to ask questions but also to take it as slow as you need to."

Have you experienced religious trauma or questioning your faith? We'd love to hear your story. Reach out to share your journey or find resources for healing.

Spotlight (2015) - IMDb

The Keepers Documentary: What Happened in Cathy Cesnik Murder Case? - Netflix Tudum (we do not support Netflix)

BITE Model of Authoritarian Control - Freedom of Mind Resource Center

Leaving the Fold – A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving their Religion – Journey Free

(188) Cults to Consciousness - YouTube

Home - BishopAccountability.org

Dying in ‘Hell’: The fate of Palestinian medics jailed by Israel | Israel-Palestine conflict News | Al Jazeera

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/hartzmann/no-time-to-die
License code: S4CEQWLNQXVZUMU4

Artwork and logo design by Misty Rae.


Special thanks to Joanna Roux for editing help.
Special thanks to the listeners and all the wonderful people who helped listen to and provide feedback on the episode's prerelease.


Please feel free to email Matt topics or suggestions, questions or feedback.
Matt@unitedstatesofPTSD.com

Send us a text

Every survivor has a story that deserves to be heard. In this powerful conversation, we're joined by Amy, a social work student and survivor of religious trauma who shares her journey through high-control Catholicism and the devastating abuse she experienced, at the hands of a trusted priest.

Amy takes us through her childhood immersed in religious fear – developing religious OCD as she performed rituals, before bed, to ward off demons she was taught would possess her if she failed to pray correctly. This environment of spiritual terror created perfect conditions for exploitation when a parish priest, meant to counsel her through religious anxiety, instead sexually abused her at just 12 years old. Most chilling was how he weaponized her faith against her, describing his abuse as a divinely authorized "prayer."

When Amy finally disclosed what happened, the institutional response reveals a pattern familiar to many survivors – the church launched an investigation focused not on protecting her but on discrediting her testimony. A nun asked her, "What did you do to seduce him?" – a question that encapsulates the victim-blaming that enables abuse to flourish. Meanwhile, the perpetrator was quietly transferred to a military base, a common tactic employed to shield abusers from consequences.

The conversation expands beyond Amy's personal experience to examine how high-control religious environments systematically dismantle critical thinking and intuition, creating vulnerability by teaching followers to ignore internal warning signals. This conditioning extends beyond religion into other authoritarian systems, showing how these control mechanisms operate across different contexts.

Whether you're a survivor of religious trauma, working in mental health, or simply seeking to understand these complex dynamics, Amy's courageous testimony offers profound insights into both the damage inflicted by institutional betrayal and the possibility of healing through truth-telling. Subscribe now to hear the second part of Amy's story, where she'll share her journey of deconstruction and recovery.

Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests

Rhode Island Priest Abuse | Accused Priest List & Settlements

Palestinian American ambushed on family land and killed by Israeli settlers, cousin says | PBS News

The Goddess Diana and Her Association with Lucifer: Myths and Mysticism

Hela: Ruler of the Realm of the Dead - Mythical Encyclopedia

The Psychology of the Madonna Whore Complex - Modern Intimacy

Goddess Lost by Rachel McCoppin

The Myth of the Goddess by Jules Cashford and Anne Baring

https://www.tiktok.com/@ari_reacts?_t=ZT-8zXSz9ICn2N&_r=1

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/hartzmann/no-time-to-die
License code: S4CEQWLNQXVZUMU4

Artwork and logo design by Misty Rae.


Special thanks to Joanna Roux for editing help.
Special thanks to the listeners and all the wonderful people who helped listen to and provide feedback on the episode's prerelease.


Please feel free to email Matt topics or suggestions, questions or feedback.
Matt@unitedstatesofPTSD.com

Send us a text

Please welcome guest speaker Julie Botom-Richny Chhay. Julie shares her family's experience during the Cambodian genocide, drawing parallels to current genocide in Gaza and how generational trauma continues to impact survivors and their descendants.

• Cambodia's genocide under Pol Pot's regime killed nearly 2 million people between 1975-1979
• The Khmer Rouge specifically targeted educated people - teachers, doctors, artists, and even those who wore glasses
• Julie's mother survived being attacked and left to die in the woods at just 8 years old
• Refugee experiences at the Thai border included further violence against those seeking asylum similar to North Korea
• Children were deliberately separated from families and indoctrinated to view the regime as their true family with parallels of immigrants in the US.
• Cultural erasure included banning traditional music, dance, and other art forms central to Cambodian identity
• Intergenerational trauma manifests in complex family relationships and continues decades after the violence ends
• The targeting of education, suppression of information, and divisive politics follow similar patterns across different genocides
• Modern censorship includes selective blocking of information about ongoing genocides on major platforms like Google
• Survival stories remind us that behind statistics are real human lives forever changed by political violence

https://youtu.be/mNDolWiY440?si=oErM1k0Exy2mTqkX

Opinion | ‘Do Not Forget Gaza’: The Last Words of a Martyred Journalist | Common Dreams

Israel’s “final decision” for conquest and occupation of Gaza - World Socialist Web Site

S-21, Tuol Sleng - United States Holocaust Memorial Museum

U.S. Involvement in the Cambodian War and Genocide

walrus_cambodiabombing_oct06.pdf

Cambodia’s ‘Killing Fields’ artist dies | Features | Al Jazeera

Cambodian Genocide: S21 Prison Tuol Sleng Museum and Killing Fields Phnom Penh - FeetDoTravel

FACT SHEET: Genocide in Gaza — the Biden Administration’s Role and Legacy - Institute for Policy Studies

We urge you to reflect on these historical patterns as they emerge in current conflicts, and to recognize that peace requires us to confront uncomfortable truths about both past and present atrocities.

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/hartzmann/no-time-to-die
License code: S4CEQWLNQXVZUMU4

Artwork and logo design by Misty Rae.


Special thanks to Joanna Roux for editing help.
Special thanks to the listeners and all the wonderful people who helped listen to and provide feedback on the episode's prerelease.


Please feel free to email Matt topics or suggestions, questions or feedback.
Matt@unitedstatesofPTSD.com

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Dog training experts Zak George and Bree join us to explore the dark side of animal training and how the weaponization of the human-animal bond perpetuates systems of oppression. We examine how our treatment of animals reflects deeper societal values about power, control, and our approach to both animal and human behavior.

• Traditional dog training methods often rely on pain and fear, including shock collars, prong collars, and physically harmful techniques
• The police dog system has roots in colonialism and was historically used to control marginalized communities
• When an animal misbehaves, asking "why" rather than focusing on stopping the behavior leads to more effective and humane solutions
• The parallels between punitive approaches to animal behavior and human behavior in our criminal justice system
• How fear-based training makes veterinary care more difficult and sometimes dangerous for animals
• The importance of consent, cooperation, and relationship-building in animal training
• The story of Mohammed Bahar, a Palestinian man with Down syndrome who was killed by a police dog, highlighting the human cost of weaponizing animals

To learn more about modern, humane dog training techniques, follow Zak George's Dog Training Revolution on YouTube or find their intersectionality content on Instagram and Facebook.

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cz9drj14e0lo

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/aharon-bonus-episode-innocent-and-pure-from-sin/id1624487374

Zak:

https://instagram.com/zakgeorge

https://TikTok.com/@thezakgeorge

https://facebook.com/thezakgeorge

Bree

https://instagram.com/breejustine

https://avsab.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/AVSAB-Humane-Dog-Training-Position-Statement-2021.pdf

https://YouTube.com/zakgeorge

https://perretologia.substack.com/p/weapon-dogs

https://www.themarshallproject.org/mauled

https://www.democracynow.org/2023/7/27/hannah_beckler_investigation_prison_dogs

https://www.businessinsider.com/correctional-officers-prison-staff-attack-dogs-bite-2023-7

https://aclucalaction.org/2024/01/new-report-weaponizing-dogs-the-brutal-and-outdated-practice-of-police-attack-dogs

https://www.aaihs.org/police-dogs-and-anti-black-violence

https://daily.jstor.org/the-police-dog-as-weapon-of-racial-terror

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/hartzmann/no-time-to-die
License code: S4CEQWLNQXVZUMU4

Artwork and logo design by Misty Rae.


Special thanks to Joanna Roux for editing help.
Special thanks to the listeners and all the wonderful people who helped listen to and provide feedback on the episode's prerelease.


Please feel free to email Matt topics or suggestions, questions or feedback.
Matt@unitedstatesofPTSD.com

Send us a text

John Demarjain shares his emotional journey of coming out as a gay Palestinian American, revealing the complex intersection of cultural identity, family values, and personal authenticity in Western and Middle Eastern contexts.


• Western culture emphasizes (by design) individualism and independence, at the cost of community while Middle Eastern culture prioritizes family and religion
• The concept of "pinkwashing" attempts to force the LGBTQ+ population to turn a blind eye to genocide "in their own best interest".
• Both selective empathy and performative politics create barriers to genuine human connection and social progress
• Cultural and family expectations around names, lineage, and acceptable pairings extend beyond sexuality to religion
• Meaningful advocacy requires altruistic action and personal connection rather than simply consuming mainstream news
• The group pays tribute to Mohammed "Medo" Halimy, a Palestinian content creator who was killed in Gaza, by the genocidal IDF

• Erika discusses the lie that Arab countries are unilaterally hostile to the LGBT community, as Israel bombs a prison with 100 Trans people in it.

Brief discussion about the impact of altruism

Doing Good and Feeling Good: Relationships Between Altruism and Well-being for Altruists, Beneficiaries, and Observers | The World Happiness Report

Israel Killed 100 Imprisoned Trans Iranians. I Could Have Been One of Them. | Truthout

Queers in Palestine

In Conversation With Afeef Nessouli, the Journalist Covering Queer People in Gaza | Them

Iris Prize 2024: Palestinian Dima Hamdan wins LGBTQ+ film award

https://www.imdb.com/video/vi1098033433/?ref_=ext_shr_lnk

Medo Halimy - Wikipedia

https://www.tiktok.com/@medohalimy?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc

We will continue speaking about Gaza until the genocide ends. We believe in taking real action - whether donating, sharing stories directly from affected people, or challenging institutions. Make a difference today by connecting with those impacted by conflict around the world.

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/hartzmann/no-time-to-die
License code: S4CEQWLNQXVZUMU4

Artwork and logo design by Misty Rae.


Special thanks to Joanna Roux for editing help.
Special thanks to the listeners and all the wonderful people who helped listen to and provide feedback on the episode's prerelease.


Please feel free to email Matt topics or suggestions, questions or feedback.
Matt@unitedstatesofPTSD.com

Send us a text

A foreshadowing of the national impending healthcare collapse as we see the beginnings of it in Rhode Island. As mental health workers face increasing dangers from understaffing, violence, and corporate retaliation against unionization efforts. Matt shares his terrifying classroom experience with possible gunfire, highlighting educators' vulnerability in America's gun violence epidemic, while Erika exposes the expanding network of privatized immigrant detention centers that are akin to the start of concentration camps. Towards the end of the episode we welcome Hannah John Damarjian.

• Rhode Island healthcare system facing multiple facility closures and bankruptcy filings
• Mental health hospital fired all striking nurses who demanded safer staffing ratios
• Multiple cases of healthcare workers murdered or seriously injured by patients discussed
• Matt recounts hearing gunshots outside his classroom with 27 students and no way to lock doors
• Private corporations like CoreCivic and GeoGroup operating immigrant detention centers in flood zones
• Laura Loomer's disturbing comments about "alligator meals" target Latino populations
• Palestinian American guest John discusses running for office as a young candidate
• Average age of Congress (63) disconnected from challenges facing younger generations
• Money in politics corrupts even well-intentioned candidates
• Rhode Island's "Homeless Bill of Rights" criticized as performative rather than substantive

Join us next time when we continue our conversation with John about his experiences as a Palestinian American and his journey into politics.

Laura Loomer’s “65 Million Meals” Comment: What She Actually Said—and Why It’s So Dangerous

Striking Butler Hospital workers awarded back unemployment benefits, bargaining to resume Wednesday | ABC6

https://youtube.com/@johnsharestories

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/hartzmann/no-time-to-die
License code: S4CEQWLNQXVZUMU4

Artwork and logo design by Misty Rae.


Special thanks to Joanna Roux for editing help.
Special thanks to the listeners and all the wonderful people who helped listen to and provide feedback on the episode's prerelease.


Please feel free to email Matt topics or suggestions, questions or feedback.
Matt@unitedstatesofPTSD.com

Send us a text

In this raw, unedited conversation, we process our emotional responses to the ongoing conflict between Israel and Iran while exploring how intergenerational trauma shapes our understanding of war.

• Processing our emotional reactions to Israel's "preemptive strike" otherwise know as a declaration of war against Iran
• Examining how media messaging manipulates public perception of conflict to vilify people in Gaza and justify colonialism
• Discussing intergenerational trauma from historical wars and how it shapes our worldview
• Exploring the complicity of silence and the moral obligation to speak against genocide
• Looking at environmental contamination and health impacts as hidden costs of war
• Considering how art from conflict zones helps us process and understand violence
• Sharing practical ways to take action against global atrocities
• Finding hope in community organizing and resistance movements

The most powerful change often starts with small actions. Contact your representatives, join local solidarity groups, or simply have conversations with those around you. Remember: in genocide, there is no neutrality – either you're complicit or you're fighting against it.

Doctors Against Genocide: Lifesaving Medical Aid

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/hartzmann/no-time-to-die
License code: S4CEQWLNQXVZUMU4

Artwork and logo design by Misty Rae.


Special thanks to Joanna Roux for editing help.
Special thanks to the listeners and all the wonderful people who helped listen to and provide feedback on the episode's prerelease.


Please feel free to email Matt topics or suggestions, questions or feedback.
Matt@unitedstatesofPTSD.com