Ace on Discovering Asexuality and Exploring Trans Identity During Lockdown

Ace describes realising they were asexual at 26 after searching online for why they did not like or enjoy sex and finding the term “asexual,” which brought relief and fear while they were in a long-term relationship.

They told their partner, who was supportive and happy to continue the relationship, and they remain together more than 10 years on.

Ace then recounts how the 2020 lockdown prompted deeper self-reflection about gender, including discomfort as their hair grew and the realisation that thoughts they assumed were universal might not be.

A social media comment and watching the Netflix documentary “Disclosure” helped Ace consider that being trans fit their experience, and lockdown gave them space to experiment with presentation and pronouns, supported by friends as they began to come out.

00:00 Discovering Asexuality

01:11 Fear and Relationship Talk

02:13 Partner Support and Acceptance

03:01 Lockdown Identity Questions

04:36 The Trans Realisation Trigger

05:51 Exploring Gender in Private

06:29 Coming Out and New Pronouns

06:57 Second Moment Reflection

Joel’s story reminds us that “the moment” isn’t always a single penny-drop. Sometimes it’s a series of ‘small’ realisations that build over time.

In this episode of The Moment I Knew, Joel shares how growing up in a religious, heteronormative environment shaped the way he understood (and misunderstood) his attraction to men. He talks about early crushes at secondary school, how leaving for college opened up new possibilities, and the late-night encounter in 1996 that became a catalyst for physically acknowledging his sexuality. From there, Joel reflects on the fear of being outed, coming out to friends, and later telling his family — including his mum’s emotional reaction and the lingering impact of internalised homophobia.

He also speaks powerfully about identity beyond sexuality, and why being Black in the UK felt like an even bigger hurdle — and how finding “outliers” and chosen family in London helped him move towards self-acceptance.

If you’d like to share your own story for The Moment I Knew, you can book a 15-minute slot (audio-only, fully anonymous). You’re welcome to use a pseudonym if that’s what you prefer. You can also review the final edit before anything is published.

Book here: https://unapologaytic.com/pages/the-moment-i-knew

Maria's Journey to Discovering Her Sexuality in the 80s Club Scene

Maria shares her personal journey of discovering her sexuality during her early twenties. She recalls her experiences frequenting rock and gay clubs in the 80s, developing crushes on drag queens, and experiencing an epiphany about her attraction to women. Maria talks about her relationships, including falling in love with a beautiful trans woman and her first few girlfriends. She candidly describes coming out to her mother and the unexpected and humorous support she received. This heartfelt story highlights the challenges and revelations of understanding one's sexual identity.

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The Moment I Knew podcast mini series aims to share the moment we discovered our own queerness. The goal is to create an ever growing patchwork of experiences. Each episode explores those profound "I knew" moments that shape LGBTQ+ identity with authentic, vulnerable storytelling that celebrates the beauty of self-recognition without shame.

If you’d like to share your own story, book a slot on https://unapologaytic.com/pages/the-moment-i-knew

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Pierre's Childhood Moment of Self-Discovery

In this first episode of The Moment I Knew miniseries, Pierre shares a childhood memory from when he was seven years old in Martinique. During a family trip to the beach, he noticed a man on a ferry and felt a sense of connection. This early experience, free of shame or judgment, played a big role in Pierre's later realisation of his sexuality.

Please like and share with your friends.

The Moment I Knew podcast mini series aims to share the moment we discovered our own queerness. The goal is to create an ever growing patchwork of experiences. Each episode explores those profound "I knew" moments that shape LGBTQ+ identity with authentic, vulnerable storytelling that celebrates the beauty of self-recognition without shame.

If you’d like to share your own story, book a slot on https://unapologaytic.com/pages/the-moment-i-knew

🏳️‍🌈 ❤️ 🏳️‍⚧️

➜ FOLLOW Unapologaytic:

🌈 Unapologaytic: https://unapologaytic.com

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📸 https://photo-monnerville.com

Ocean shares their personal journey of self-discovery, recounting experiences from primary school to adulthood. They discuss realising their sexuality at a young age, identifying as bisexual during secondary school, and later understanding their gender identity as non-binary or gender non-conforming. Ocean reflects on the fluid nature of their identity, acknowledging ongoing changes and periods of uncertainty.

Please like and share with your friends.

The Moment I Knew podcast mini series aims to share the moment we discovered our own queerness. The goal is to create an ever growing patchwork of experiences. Each episode explores those profound "I knew" moments that shape LGBTQ+ identity with authentic, vulnerable storytelling that celebrates the beauty of self-recognition without shame.

If you’d like to share your own story, book a slot on https://unapologaytic.com/pages/the-moment-i-knew

🏳️‍🌈 ❤️ 🏳️‍⚧️

➜ FOLLOW :

📸 Instagram - https://instagram.com/unapologaytic

📸 Instagram - https://instagram.com/photo.monnerville

➜ CHECK OUT:

🌈 Unapologaytic: https://unapologaytic.com

📸 https://photo-monnerville.com

T.J.'s Childhood: The Peach Ball Gown and Dreams of Royalty

T.J. recalls attending a play centre as a child and cherishing a peach-coloured ball gown. The gown was significant to T.J., who would become upset if someone else was wearing it upon arrival. Wearing the gown made T.J. feel like the Queen of the world, always dreaming of being a cute damsel waiting for a prince - a dream that eventually came true.

Please like and share with your friends.

The Moment I Knew podcast mini series aims to share the moment we discovered our own queerness. The goal is to create an ever growing patchwork of experiences. Each episode explores those profound "I knew" moments that shape LGBTQ+ identity with authentic, vulnerable storytelling that celebrates the beauty of self-recognition without shame.

If you’d like to share your own story, book a slot on https://unapologaytic.com/pages/the-moment-i-knew

🏳️‍🌈 ❤️ 🏳️‍⚧️

➜ FOLLOW :

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📸 Instagram - https://instagram.com/photo.monnerville

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📸 https://photo-monnerville.com

In this episode of the Unapologaytic podcast, host Pierre speaks with Rahim Thawer, author of The Mental Health Guide for Cis and Trans Queer Guys.

They delve into the complex dynamics of masculinity, body image, and internalized homophobia within the queer male community. The discussion covers the challenges faced in maintaining social status, navigating mental health struggles, and the importance of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).

Rahim shares insights from his book, focusing on how queer men can address disenfranchised grief and internalized shame.

They also explore the intersection of race, culture, and class, and how these factors impact mental health and community belonging. Rahim discusses the significance of community support and the need for culturally competent healthcare.

The episode concludes with practical strategies for self-help and mental well-being.

The Mental Health Guide for Cis and Trans Queer Guys will be released on 1st June 25.

https://amzn.eu/d/4upTBrW

00:00 The Unapologaytic Podcast: Rahim Thawer Redefining Queer Wellness: Beyond Traditional Narratives

01:02 Introduction and Welcome

01:17 Meet Rahim Thawar

01:31 Cultural Differences and Eccentricities

01:31 Rahim's Background and Work

03:43 Navigating Identity and Hierarchies

05:40 Intersectionality and Privilege

14:01 Disenfranchised Grief

17:51 Global Perspectives on Identity

22:34 Exploring Social Hierarchies and Mental Health

23:26 Strategies to Overcome internalised Shame

25:25 Personal Experiences and Self-Perception

26:15 Building Inclusive Communities

27:21 Navigating Family and Cultural Conversations 2

8:21 Intersectionality and Disenfranchised Grief

31:27 Cognitive behavioural Therapy Techniques

39:02 Addressing Health and Aging in the LGBTQ Community

44:31 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

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➜ Follow Rahim: http://ladyativan.com/

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📸 https://photo-monnerville.com

👋🏾 About The Unapologaytic Podcast

Hi I’m Pierre. I’m the founder of the ethical gay brand Unapologaytic as well as a male form photographer.

I want to use this podcast to explore LGBTQ+ culture and use this platform to share our stories, struggles and breakthroughs. No matter who we are we’ve all got something to share and learn from each other.

🎶 Music from Uppbeat - https://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/take-u-higher

License code: UDYUZW8IQU0IERDS

In this episode of the Unapologaytic podcast, host Pierre speaks with Dr Jason Durant, author of Boy from the North Country, about their shared experiences of growing up in small communities and grappling with masculinity and acceptance as gay men. They discuss the pervasive sense of alienation amongst gay men, even in tolerant places like New York City. Dr Durant delves into the impacts of internalised homophobia, the grief of missed opportunities, and the ongoing journey of self-acceptance. He emphasises the necessity of facing uncomfortable emotions, fostering supportive relationships, and the daily commitment to self-care and personal growth. They touch upon the importance of authentic pride, the healing process of revisiting and comforting past traumas, and strategies for processing anger. Dr Durant also shares the importance of journalling and building a compassionate community to navigate the challenges faced by LGBTQ individuals.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

00:54 Discussing the Book: Boy from the North Country

03:27 Challenges of Growing Up Gay

11:34 Healing and Self-Acceptance

19:36 Community and Support

38:30 Processing Anger and Embracing Yourself

41:22 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Please like, comment and share with your friends.

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➜ FOLLOW Dr Jason Durant

📸 Instagram - https://instagram.com/drjasondurant

📙 Book available from https://www.boyfromthenorthcountrybook.com and all online book sellers

➜ FOLLOW ME:

🌈 Unapologaytic: https://unapologaytic.com

📸 https://photo-monnerville.com

👋🏾 About The Unapologaytic Podcast

Hi I’m Pierre. I’m the founder of the ethical gay brand Unapologaytic as well as a male form photographer.

I want to use this podcast to explore LGBTQ+ culture, art and wellness and use this platform to share our stories and struggles. No matter who we are we’ve all got something to share and learn from each other.

🎶 Music from #Uppbeat - https://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/take-u-higher

License code: UDYUZW8IQU0IERDS