Joel’s story reminds us that “the moment” isn’t always a single penny-drop. Sometimes it’s a series of ‘small’ realisations that build over time.

In this episode of The Moment I Knew, Joel shares how growing up in a religious, heteronormative environment shaped the way he understood (and misunderstood) his attraction to men. He talks about early crushes at secondary school, how leaving for college opened up new possibilities, and the late-night encounter in 1996 that became a catalyst for physically acknowledging his sexuality. From there, Joel reflects on the fear of being outed, coming out to friends, and later telling his family — including his mum’s emotional reaction and the lingering impact of internalised homophobia.

He also speaks powerfully about identity beyond sexuality, and why being Black in the UK felt like an even bigger hurdle — and how finding “outliers” and chosen family in London helped him move towards self-acceptance.

If you’d like to share your own story for The Moment I Knew, you can book a 15-minute slot (audio-only, fully anonymous). You’re welcome to use a pseudonym if that’s what you prefer. You can also review the final edit before anything is published.

Book here: https://unapologaytic.com/pages/the-moment-i-knew