Ace on Discovering Asexuality and Exploring Trans Identity During Lockdown

Ace describes realising they were asexual at 26 after searching online for why they did not like or enjoy sex and finding the term “asexual,” which brought relief and fear while they were in a long-term relationship.

They told their partner, who was supportive and happy to continue the relationship, and they remain together more than 10 years on.

Ace then recounts how the 2020 lockdown prompted deeper self-reflection about gender, including discomfort as their hair grew and the realisation that thoughts they assumed were universal might not be.

A social media comment and watching the Netflix documentary “Disclosure” helped Ace consider that being trans fit their experience, and lockdown gave them space to experiment with presentation and pronouns, supported by friends as they began to come out.

00:00 Discovering Asexuality

01:11 Fear and Relationship Talk

02:13 Partner Support and Acceptance

03:01 Lockdown Identity Questions

04:36 The Trans Realisation Trigger

05:51 Exploring Gender in Private

06:29 Coming Out and New Pronouns

06:57 Second Moment Reflection

Joel’s story reminds us that “the moment” isn’t always a single penny-drop. Sometimes it’s a series of ‘small’ realisations that build over time.

In this episode of The Moment I Knew, Joel shares how growing up in a religious, heteronormative environment shaped the way he understood (and misunderstood) his attraction to men. He talks about early crushes at secondary school, how leaving for college opened up new possibilities, and the late-night encounter in 1996 that became a catalyst for physically acknowledging his sexuality. From there, Joel reflects on the fear of being outed, coming out to friends, and later telling his family — including his mum’s emotional reaction and the lingering impact of internalised homophobia.

He also speaks powerfully about identity beyond sexuality, and why being Black in the UK felt like an even bigger hurdle — and how finding “outliers” and chosen family in London helped him move towards self-acceptance.

If you’d like to share your own story for The Moment I Knew, you can book a 15-minute slot (audio-only, fully anonymous). You’re welcome to use a pseudonym if that’s what you prefer. You can also review the final edit before anything is published.

Book here: https://unapologaytic.com/pages/the-moment-i-knew

Maria's Journey to Discovering Her Sexuality in the 80s Club Scene

Maria shares her personal journey of discovering her sexuality during her early twenties. She recalls her experiences frequenting rock and gay clubs in the 80s, developing crushes on drag queens, and experiencing an epiphany about her attraction to women. Maria talks about her relationships, including falling in love with a beautiful trans woman and her first few girlfriends. She candidly describes coming out to her mother and the unexpected and humorous support she received. This heartfelt story highlights the challenges and revelations of understanding one's sexual identity.

Please like and share with your friends.

The Moment I Knew podcast mini series aims to share the moment we discovered our own queerness. The goal is to create an ever growing patchwork of experiences. Each episode explores those profound "I knew" moments that shape LGBTQ+ identity with authentic, vulnerable storytelling that celebrates the beauty of self-recognition without shame.

If you’d like to share your own story, book a slot on https://unapologaytic.com/pages/the-moment-i-knew

🏳️‍🌈 ❤️ 🏳️‍⚧️

➜ FOLLOW :

📸 Instagram - https://instagram.com/unapologaytic

📸 Instagram - https://instagram.com/photo.monnerville

➜ CHECK OUT:

🌈 Unapologaytic: https://unapologaytic.com

📸 https://photo-monnerville.com