Talking about death is uncomfortable. Talking about how we want to die? That's a conversation most of us avoid altogether.

In this episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod, Eliesa and Robyn sit down with Sarah Longacre and Wendy Brown to share the extraordinary story of Cheryl Hauser, a wife, mother, and advocate whose Alzheimer's diagnosis led her to make a deeply personal end-of-life decision through Voluntarily Stopping Eating and Drinking (VSED).

Cheryl spent her final years documenting her journey, not to tell others what to do, but to encourage families to have honest conversations about end-of-life wishes, autonomy, and what it means to live—and die—with intention. Her story is now featured in the documentary The Cheryl Hauser Effect, helping families around the world navigate some of life's hardest conversations.

Together, we explore Alzheimer's, advance care planning, VSED, caregiving, grief, and the courage it takes to talk openly about death before a crisis forces the conversation.

This episode is thoughtful, emotional, and ultimately hopeful. Whether you're caring for aging parents, facing a difficult diagnosis in your family, or simply wondering how to start talking about end-of-life wishes, Cheryl's story is one you won't soon forget.

Takeaways

• Talking about death is hard, but talking about it matters.
• Knowing someone's wishes is one of the greatest acts of love.
• Every family deserves to understand their end-of-life options.
• Honoring someone's choices can be the hardest - and kindest - thing we do.
• Dignity, joy, and purpose can exist until the very end.
• VSED requires a lot of planning to make sure everyone is emotionally and logistically on board to preserve your loved one’s comfort and dignity through the process.
• Cheryl Hauser and her story are opening up the conversation about choosing how we die.
• No matter what the right choice is for you, plan the party, invite your people and live your fullest right up until the end.

Links + Resources:

Cheryl Hauser Effect Website

Compassion and Choices

Chemin - Wendy Longacre Brown’s end of life doula website and resources

“Choosing to Die” Book by Phyllis Schacter

Minnesota Death Collaborative - a group of integrative death professionals who serve our community in a variety of ways.

Chapters

00:00 Introducing the sisters: Sarah and Wendy

03:53 An Intro to The Cheryl Hauser Effect Documentary

05:51 Who is Cheryl Hauser : A Mother's Legacy

28:30 Shifting Perspectives: Conversations About Mortality

31:08 Medical Aid vs. VSED: Understanding the Options

39:37 When is it time to VSED? How do you know?

44:02 The legalities of choosing VSED - a candid conversation

50:54 Setting the Stage for VSED - What's is really like?

01:06:16 TheCherylHauserEffect.com

01:08:29 Reaction and Final Thoughts from Robyn + Eliesa

What happens when we find someone on the internet who’s leading a grassroots movement in revolutionizing care in America?! We invite them to the pod! In this mini-episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod, Robyn and Eliesa welcome Neal K. Shah of CareYaya to the mic. Neal is reaching people far and wide through his wisdom and advice through social media, but did you also know that he’s *literally* changing the world with his company, CareYaya. CareYaya is changing elder care by connecting families with compassionate, motivated college students from top universities. (Think Harvard, Stanford, etc.) This provides affordable care for thousands of families, and introduces tens of thousands of students into the care workforce.

It’s a win-win for everyone!

In this episode, Neal shares all about his caregiving story, practical solutions and hopeful trends that are shaping the future of eldercare in America!

This episode is proudly supported by our friends at Poppins Payroll!

Takeaways

• CareYaya is changing how America Cares for it’s elders.
• Paying the caregiver directly massively cuts the cost of in home care.
• The younger generation is actually interested in caregiving - that is hopeful for us all!
• There’s going to be a demographic shift as the baby boomers age.
• Celebrities are speaking out more - and people in prominent positions about caregiving. Wherever we are feeling ‘lonely’ we realize - wow, this affects us all.
• Employers + Big companies have the ability to support middle-age employees by offering caregiving support.
• Sandwiched caregivers are doing A LOT. Take time to care for yourself - it’s no joke

Links and Resources:

CareYaya

Poppins Payroll - the easiest way to pay your in-home employee. (Think in-home caregiver, your nanny or even your gardener!) Whoever keeps your home running smoothly, Poppins Payroll can simplify payroll, filings and taxes! Use code: SANDWICH to receive one month FREE!

Counterforce Health AI Tool - Appeal your Health Insurance denial using this powerful tool! (For real!)

NIH: National Institute on Aging

Johns Hopkins Caregiving Research

Family Caregiver Alliance - Great resource for Caregiver Support Groups

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Neal Shah

04:49 Innovations in Caregiving: Bridging Gaps and Creating Solutions

07:32 The Care Crisis in America - how can we create change?

11:42 The Role of Technology in Modern Caregiving

14:27 Channeling Guilt into Social Change

18:11 Demographic Trends and the Caregiving Crisis

19:13 Finding Hope

21:41 Supporting Sandwiched Caregivers

24:11 Systemic Changes for Caregiver Support

Being an only child means you learn independence early. You can entertain yourself, make decisions, and figure out anything on your own. But when you land in The Sandwich Generation? That same independence can start to feel a whole lot like, “Wait… am I supposed to do ALL of this myself?!”

In this episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod, Eliesa opens up about the unique reality of being an “only” while caregiving for aging parents, raising a family, managing grief, and carrying the emotional load without siblings to tag in. We’re also joined by Melissa Del Rosario, who shares her deeply personal story of sudden loss, shifting family dynamics, setting boundaries, and learning how to build your village when you don’t automatically have one built in.

Together, we talk about the pros, cons, pressure, freedom, guilt, resilience, and dark humor that come with being an only child caregiver.

If you’re an only child caring for aging parents, navigating family caregiving alone, or trying to survive the chaos of the Sandwich Generation without losing your mind, this episode will make you feel seen, understood, and hopefully laugh a little too.

Because being an only doesn’t mean you’re supposed to do it all alone.

Takeaways

• Only children are superheroes — but you don’t have to carry everything alone.
• Being an Only teaches you independence early. You learn to figure things out yourself.
• That independence can get rocked hard in The Sandwich Generation.
• In a family of three, losing one person changes everything and the whole dynamic shifts.
• Your relationship with a surviving parent often has to be rebuilt after loss. This takes time.
• Boundaries can feel hard as an Only because you feel responsible for everyone.
• A lot of only children become the emotional center of the family. That’s heavy.
• Our friends often become family when you’re an Only. We learn how to build our own village!

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Melissa Del Rosario

02:10 Melissa's Caregiving Story as an Only Child

05:42 Navigating Life and Death Decisions

07:54 The Pressure of Being an Only Child when it's life or death

14:23 Rebuilding Relationships After Loss

16:44 How the Family Dynamic shifts after loss when you are an Only Child

22:29 The Fragility of Codependency

27:28 How do Only Children deal with the guilt?

34:54 Your Friends can be closer than family when you're an Only

40:57 Finding Guidance and Advice when you are an Only

46:41 Empowerment in Independence

48:43 Rethinking Only Child Stereotypes

52:50 Outro

How do we keep laughing when life feels so unbelievably heavy? Between raising the littles, caregiving for our aging parents, grief and the stress, surviving The Sandwich Generation feels like sometimes humor is the only thing holding it all together!

In this episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod, Eliesa Johnson and Robyn Frank welcome nationally acclaimed comedian Susan Rice (@funnyoldbag) for a hilarious, honest, and surprisingly heartfelt conversation about aging, caregiving, self-worth, reinvention, and why it’s never too late to chase your dreams!

Susan shares how she found her groove as a comedian in her seventies, what humor can teach us about resilience, and why getting older might actually be the moment we finally stop giving a fuck what everyone else thinks.

We talk about finding joy in hard seasons, embracing aging with humor, and learning to laugh (or cry) at the chaos.

If you’re caring for aging parents, feeling burned out in midlife, or just need permission to laugh through the mess, this episode is for you.

Takeaways

• Sometimes the funniest people are carrying the hardest stories.
• It’s never too late to grow into yourself.
• Getting older can bring a surprising sense of freedom.
• Younger generations have so much to learn from older generations, we just need to connect more.
• There’s something powerful about hearing confident women in their 70s speak honestly and loudly.
• Aging doesn’t mean becoming invisible. You still deserve to take up space.
• Humor helps us survive hard things. We always need it.

Links and Resources

Susan Rice Comedy

@ funnyoldbag on Instagram

Susan Rice: Silver Alert - a new special!

Don’t Tell Comedy Shows

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to Comedian Susan Rice

01:15 Overcoming Challenges with Humor

12:15 The Resilience of Aging

13:18 Thriving in Your Seventies

15:53 Confidence and Visibility in Aging

21:35 Susan's Caregiving Story

23:43 Women, The World and why we always need Humor

Why does Assisted Living cost so much? Why does every tour somehow end in a “pub”? And are the communities with the fancy brochures and gourmet desserts actually the best fit for your loved one?

In this episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod, Robyn and Eliesa sit down with Melissa Stanton and Molly Mogren Katt of Carefree Cottages of Maplewood for a candid (and surprisingly heated + funny) conversation about the realities of assisted living, from both sides of the tour.

We get into the real stuff: the questions families should be asking, how to make sense of the finances, what actually matters beyond the marketing, and how to figure out who you can trust in an industry that can feel wildly overwhelming.

Whether you’re just starting to explore assisted living or already deep in the process, this episode is packed with honest insights, helpful tips, and plenty of laughs along the way.

Disclaimer: We are not lawyers nor do we offer legal advice on this podcast. All information is based out of Minnesota, so check your state to see what programs, waivers and assistance are offered in your area!

Takeaways

• What are the top 3 questions that families should be asking when touring assisted living communities?
• What is the difference between Private Pay, Elderly and Cadi Waiver programs?
• Think of shopping for assisted living like you’re dating. Are you serious and looking for a long term relationship? What are the qualities you’re looking for?
• Follow your *senses*
• What the hell is an Ombudsman? (This person might be your best friend…)
• What are some misconceptions about Assisted Living?
• Assisted Living Can be:
  • Family Owned
  • Corporate
  • Non-Profit (Like Shalom Home)
  • Adult Foster Homes

Chapters

01:23 Intro to Molly and Melissa of Carefree Cottages

06:39 What is Assisted Living and Who is it for?

12:52 Question #1: Do you accept the Elderly Waiver or Cadi Waiver?

25:57 Question #2: How are the activities?

30:43 Question #3: Medication Management and Independence

35:37 What things should you be looking for when touring Assisted Living?

37:24 Robyn's horrible experience with assisted living

44:19 What is an ombudsman and knowing your rights

48:23 Debunking the misconceptions about Assisted Living

53:07 Why does Assisted Living cost so much?

56:19 Family Owned, Corporate, Non Profit or Adult Foster Care

58:50 What is a 'Navigator' and are they helpful?

01:01:08 Independent Living, Assisted Living, Memory Care and Skilled Nursing

01:06:31 The Future of Assisted Living

Links + Resources:

Carefree Cottages of Maplewood

Cost of Long Term Care Calculator - this is an AMAZING resource where you can estimate the cost of care in your specific area of the United States. Powered by Carescout

State of MN OmbudsmanMinnesota

Bill of Rights for Assisted Living

A Place at the Table - an example of adult foster care.

National Domestic Workers Alliance

Caring Across Generations

Molly Mogren Katt - explore more of Molly’s personal + creative work!

Ever have one of those moments where you just want to scream a little? Caregiving can feel like that, especially when well-meaning people say things that completely miss the mark. Those small comments can add up, and before you know it, you’re carrying a kind of loneliness that’s hard to put into words.

Whether you’re supporting a loved one through a terminal diagnosis, navigating aging, walking alongside someone at the end of life, or grieving after they’re gone, the “in-between” losses can feel overwhelming. Life keeps moving all around you, and somehow you’re expected to keep up.

And if you’re a sandwiched caregiver? You might find yourself craving moments of joy in the middle of it all - only to be met with guilt (or even a little side-eye) when you actually have fun. Simple, right?

In this episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod, Eliesa and Robyn sit down with Jessica Kim, founder of Ianacare (“I Am Not Alone Care”). Jessica has spent most of her adult life as a caregiver while raising three kids, and she’s turned that experience into a mission to support others navigating the same challenges. Together, we talk about the loneliness of caregiving, finding connection, and giving yourself permission to hold both grief and joy at the same time.

Because at the end of the day, you’re not alone—we’re in this together.

Takeaways

• Loneliness creeps in and can be all consuming when you’re a caregiver.
• The fork in the road: Do you need to leave your career to be a caregiver?
• Our Mindset: How we reframe things is huge - we need to balance JOY in caregiving
• The THREE day rule - how have you tended to your priorities over the course of three days?
  • Kids + activities
  • Marriage
  • Friends
  • Wellness / gym
  • Work
  • Faith
• How does full time caregiving effect our children? Do they see our stress as much as we feel it?
• Culture Change: Lets not make others feel guilty while seeking JOY while they are GRIEVING
• Ianacare: How this company supports families and helps them with loneliness. Also: a HUGE Medicare GUIDE program for families with Alzheimer's!

Links + Resources:

Ianacare Website

Follow Ianacare on Instagram

Caring for someone with Dementia? See if you Qualify for the Medicare GUIDE Program - at NO cost to you!

Chapters:

00:00 Intros and our Meet Cute with Jessica Kim

02:29 Jessica's Caregiving Story

22:30 Mindshift: Reframing Priorities in Caregiving

29:04 Impact of Caregiving on Children

38:07 Seeking Joy Amidst Grief

43:47 The Loneliness of Caregiving

47:23 How caregiving changes you

55:05 IANACare and a Medicare funded program for Caregivers

01:02:59 Engagement and Community Building

01:03:35 Outro

Caregiving in the Sandwich Generation is already a full-contact sport. One minute you’re negotiating with a toddler over broccoli, the next your parents are on the phone… also negotiating, but with guilt trips and passive-aggressive commentary. Cool, cool, cool. So what’s the move when everyone needs something and someone’s being downright difficult?

In this episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod, Robyn and Eliesa talk with family mediator Molly Darsow, owner of Still Waters Mediation. (Yes—family mediator. Because sometimes families need a referee.) Molly shares expert advice on setting boundaries with parents, managing emotional triggers, and improving communication in challenging family dynamics.If you’ve ever thought “there has to be a better way to deal with this,” this one’s for you.

If you’re caring for aging parents while raising kids, navigating sibling tension, or just trying not to lose your mind during one more “interesting” phone call—this episode will give you tools, validation, and maybe even a little laugh.

Takeaways

• We are born into family systems and when our parents age or pass away, those roles within the system are wildly disrupted.
• We always hold onto our inner child.
• When we’re family, we all know each other’s triggers - that never leaves us.
• There might be a generational difference in how we talk about our emotions.
• There is A LOT of vulnerability in aging.
• Shutting down bad behaviors is totally legit.
• It sounds annoying but acceptance, compassion and time are three of the best ways to handle a difficult parent.
• Communication takes active practice on everyone’s part and Molly gives tips on doing this effectively.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction with Molly Darsow of Still Waters Mediation

02:55 What is Mediation and why might I need it?

09:40 Managing Triggers and Emotional Responses

11:39 Strategies for Difficult Conversations

30:31 Establishing Boundaries with Parents

33:47 Acknowledging Loss and Change

38:49 The Driving Conversation - is anything more difficult than this?

48:18 What to do when a parent is guilting you?

58:07 Sibling Relationships and Triangulation

01:05:50 Managing Difficult Parents in Front of Children

01:11:11 Outro

Links and Resources:

Still Waters Mediation

Care out Loud Conversation starter Cards

What is it really like for the Spouses in The Sandwich Generation?! We know it’s emotional for us caregivers, but what is it like on the other side of a relationship? In this episode, Eliesa Johnson and Robyn Frank hand the mic over to their spouses, Nick and EZ, for a refreshingly honest (and occasionally hilarious) take on:

• What actually irritates them (yes, we go there)
• How to keep the spark alive when you're exhausted and emotionally tapped out
• Raising kids while juggling everyone else’s needs
• And what support really looks like—beyond “just tell me what you need”

Spoiler: Love is strong… but so are opinions about buying milk!

If you’re in a relationship in the Sandwich Generation—whether you’re the caregiver or the one wondering how to help—this one’s for you.

Because sometimes, laughter is the only thing keeping everyone sane.

Takeaways

• Everyone is in The Sandwich Generation together when you’re married but in different roles.
• How can a spouse help with the overwhelm of being sandwiched?
• When your spouse takes a back seat - and making them a priority again!
• How are we raising the kids in the middle of it all?
• Keeping the fire alive - intimacy and humor during tough times.
• It takes a village - asking for help!

Chapters

00:00 Reflections on Marriage: Expectations vs. Reality: Getting Married Later in Life and Entering The Sandwich Generation

10:20 When the caregiver is overwhelmed, what's a spouse to do?

18:53 Hormones are a big deal in The Sandwich Generation

30:18 When your spouse takes a back seat and making them a priority again

36:27 Arguments

39:27 So what do you really think of your in laws?

45:36 What about us? What does our aging look like?

48:01 Lets talk about the kids + grief

54:33 Making things easier for the spouse that is overwhelmed by caregiving

59:09 What makes our spouse sexy now in The Sandwich Generation?

01:05:36 Outro