Why does Assisted Living cost so much? Why does every tour somehow end in a “pub”? And are the communities with the fancy brochures and gourmet desserts actually the best fit for your loved one?

In this episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod, Robyn and Eliesa sit down with Melissa Stanton and Molly Mogren Katt of Carefree Cottages of Maplewood for a candid (and surprisingly heated + funny) conversation about the realities of assisted living, from both sides of the tour.

We get into the real stuff: the questions families should be asking, how to make sense of the finances, what actually matters beyond the marketing, and how to figure out who you can trust in an industry that can feel wildly overwhelming.

Whether you’re just starting to explore assisted living or already deep in the process, this episode is packed with honest insights, helpful tips, and plenty of laughs along the way.

Disclaimer: We are not lawyers nor do we offer legal advice on this podcast. All information is based out of Minnesota, so check your state to see what programs, waivers and assistance are offered in your area!

Takeaways

• What are the top 3 questions that families should be asking when touring assisted living communities?
• What is the difference between Private Pay, Elderly and Cadi Waiver programs?
• Think of shopping for assisted living like you’re dating. Are you serious and looking for a long term relationship? What are the qualities you’re looking for?
• Follow your *senses*
• What the hell is an Ombudsman? (This person might be your best friend…)
• What are some misconceptions about Assisted Living?
• Assisted Living Can be:
  • Family Owned
  • Corporate
  • Non-Profit (Like Shalom Home)
  • Adult Foster Homes

Chapters

01:23 Intro to Molly and Melissa of Carefree Cottages

06:39 What is Assisted Living and Who is it for?

12:52 Question #1: Do you accept the Elderly Waiver or Cadi Waiver?

25:57 Question #2: How are the activities?

30:43 Question #3: Medication Management and Independence

35:37 What things should you be looking for when touring Assisted Living?

37:24 Robyn's horrible experience with assisted living

44:19 What is an ombudsman and knowing your rights

48:23 Debunking the misconceptions about Assisted Living

53:07 Why does Assisted Living cost so much?

56:19 Family Owned, Corporate, Non Profit or Adult Foster Care

58:50 What is a 'Navigator' and are they helpful?

01:01:08 Independent Living, Assisted Living, Memory Care and Skilled Nursing

01:06:31 The Future of Assisted Living

Links + Resources:

Carefree Cottages of Maplewood

Cost of Long Term Care Calculator - this is an AMAZING resource where you can estimate the cost of care in your specific area of the United States. Powered by Carescout

State of MN OmbudsmanMinnesota

Bill of Rights for Assisted Living

A Place at the Table - an example of adult foster care.

National Domestic Workers Alliance

Caring Across Generations

Molly Mogren Katt - explore more of Molly’s personal + creative work!

Ever have one of those moments where you just want to scream a little? Caregiving can feel like that, especially when well-meaning people say things that completely miss the mark. Those small comments can add up, and before you know it, you’re carrying a kind of loneliness that’s hard to put into words.

Whether you’re supporting a loved one through a terminal diagnosis, navigating aging, walking alongside someone at the end of life, or grieving after they’re gone, the “in-between” losses can feel overwhelming. Life keeps moving all around you, and somehow you’re expected to keep up.

And if you’re a sandwiched caregiver? You might find yourself craving moments of joy in the middle of it all - only to be met with guilt (or even a little side-eye) when you actually have fun. Simple, right?

In this episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod, Eliesa and Robyn sit down with Jessica Kim, founder of Ianacare (“I Am Not Alone Care”). Jessica has spent most of her adult life as a caregiver while raising three kids, and she’s turned that experience into a mission to support others navigating the same challenges. Together, we talk about the loneliness of caregiving, finding connection, and giving yourself permission to hold both grief and joy at the same time.

Because at the end of the day, you’re not alone—we’re in this together.

Takeaways

• Loneliness creeps in and can be all consuming when you’re a caregiver.
• The fork in the road: Do you need to leave your career to be a caregiver?
• Our Mindset: How we reframe things is huge - we need to balance JOY in caregiving
• The THREE day rule - how have you tended to your priorities over the course of three days?
  • Kids + activities
  • Marriage
  • Friends
  • Wellness / gym
  • Work
  • Faith
• How does full time caregiving effect our children? Do they see our stress as much as we feel it?
• Culture Change: Lets not make others feel guilty while seeking JOY while they are GRIEVING
• Ianacare: How this company supports families and helps them with loneliness. Also: a HUGE Medicare GUIDE program for families with Alzheimer's!

Links + Resources:

Ianacare Website

Follow Ianacare on Instagram

Caring for someone with Dementia? See if you Qualify for the Medicare GUIDE Program - at NO cost to you!

Chapters:

00:00 Intros and our Meet Cute with Jessica Kim

02:29 Jessica's Caregiving Story

22:30 Mindshift: Reframing Priorities in Caregiving

29:04 Impact of Caregiving on Children

38:07 Seeking Joy Amidst Grief

43:47 The Loneliness of Caregiving

47:23 How caregiving changes you

55:05 IANACare and a Medicare funded program for Caregivers

01:02:59 Engagement and Community Building

01:03:35 Outro

Caregiving in the Sandwich Generation is already a full-contact sport. One minute you’re negotiating with a toddler over broccoli, the next your parents are on the phone… also negotiating, but with guilt trips and passive-aggressive commentary. Cool, cool, cool. So what’s the move when everyone needs something and someone’s being downright difficult?

In this episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod, Robyn and Eliesa talk with family mediator Molly Darsow, owner of Still Waters Mediation. (Yes—family mediator. Because sometimes families need a referee.) Molly shares expert advice on setting boundaries with parents, managing emotional triggers, and improving communication in challenging family dynamics.If you’ve ever thought “there has to be a better way to deal with this,” this one’s for you.

If you’re caring for aging parents while raising kids, navigating sibling tension, or just trying not to lose your mind during one more “interesting” phone call—this episode will give you tools, validation, and maybe even a little laugh.

Takeaways

• We are born into family systems and when our parents age or pass away, those roles within the system are wildly disrupted.
• We always hold onto our inner child.
• When we’re family, we all know each other’s triggers - that never leaves us.
• There might be a generational difference in how we talk about our emotions.
• There is A LOT of vulnerability in aging.
• Shutting down bad behaviors is totally legit.
• It sounds annoying but acceptance, compassion and time are three of the best ways to handle a difficult parent.
• Communication takes active practice on everyone’s part and Molly gives tips on doing this effectively.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction with Molly Darsow of Still Waters Mediation

02:55 What is Mediation and why might I need it?

09:40 Managing Triggers and Emotional Responses

11:39 Strategies for Difficult Conversations

30:31 Establishing Boundaries with Parents

33:47 Acknowledging Loss and Change

38:49 The Driving Conversation - is anything more difficult than this?

48:18 What to do when a parent is guilting you?

58:07 Sibling Relationships and Triangulation

01:05:50 Managing Difficult Parents in Front of Children

01:11:11 Outro

Links and Resources:

Still Waters Mediation

Care out Loud Conversation starter Cards