Mark and Jim unpack leadership through the lens of "seasons." Drawing on John Maxwell's idea that everyone has a book inside them, they explore how winter, spring, summer, and fall map to personal growth, responsibility, and impact. They also get candid about humility, credibility, and why leadership is more than holding a title—it's taking responsibility for the well-being of other people.

• Leadership ≠ Title: The difference between positions of authority and true leadership that models behavior, brings clarity, and takes responsibility for others.

• Seasons of Life: Winter (pain, preparation), spring (planting seeds), summer (growth), fall (harvest) — and how each season demands different actions and attitudes.

• Fertile Ground Comes from "Manure": Translating setbacks into future growth; why dark, rainy winters are necessary before any harvest.

• Born or Made? Some leaders are naturally inclined, but many can be developed if they're willing to shoulder responsibility.

• Clarity → Confidence → Courage → Risk: How removing uncertainty builds momentum and leads to bolder, better outcomes.

• Humility & Storytelling: Leading with lived experience, admitting "I don't know," and using personal origin stories to create credibility and connection.

• Culture You Can Feel: The energy inside companies (from parking lot to production floor) reflects leadership—clarity, communication, and care show up everywhere.

• Optimism as a Duty: Great leaders are "dealers of hope," framing change (including AI as "amplified intelligence") as opportunity.

• Mark reflects on his own "winter" and the message: "This too shall pass."

• Jim's farmer analogy: planning, resilience, uncontrollable conditions—and the non-negotiable work of planting seeds.

• On credibility: people remember how you made them feel, not just what you said.

• Examples of leadership presence and sincere connection (e.g., Bill Clinton's one-to-one focus) without endorsing politics.

• A practical hiring insight: "I don't know" in an interview can be a credibility green flag.

• Context matters: your leadership and life choices shift across decades and responsibilities.

1. Name your season. Are you in winter, spring, summer, or fall? Act accordingly (prepare, plant, tend, or harvest).

2. Create clarity. Define expectations and next steps—for your team and yourself—to reduce anxiety and build confidence.

3. Model the mission. Live the culture you want; people do what you do, not what you say.

4. Tell your story. Lead with a real, humble origin story that connects your lessons to the audience's reality.

5. Take responsibility. Leadership starts when you accept the burden of others' well-being—and keep showing up.

• "The only guarantee is that if you don't prepare for the next season, nothing will grow."

• "Clarity creates confidence; confidence breeds courage; courage takes risks—and that's where the good stuff lives."

• "Great leaders talk less than they listen."

• "This too shall pass."

Hang in. Use the season to enrich the soil. The harvest comes later—and it comes because you kept doing the work no one sees.

If this episode helped you—or you know a man who could use it—please rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts and share the link. Reviews at key milestones expand our reach so more men can benefit. Your feedback is our fuel.

In this episode of the Imperfect Men's Club Podcast, Mark Aylward and Jim Gurulé dive into the lost art of civil discourse—why it matters, how we've strayed from it, and what it takes to bring it back into everyday life.

The conversation explores:

• Why civil discourse is more than politeness
  Civil discourse goes beyond surface-level politeness or avoiding conflict. It's about creating space for real dialogue that expands knowledge, challenges assumptions, and strengthens community. Mark and Jim unpack why this practice is critical for healthy democracies, strong relationships, and personal growth—and why its absence is fueling so much of today's division.

• The rules of engagement
  The guys walk through the simple but often ignored ground rules of meaningful conversation: focus on issues rather than attacking people, defend your positions with facts instead of emotion alone, and be willing to entertain the possibility that you might learn something from the other side. They show how these guidelines, when practiced consistently, shift discussions from combative to constructive.

• The personal cost of polarization
  What happens when we refuse to hear opposing views? Jim shares how shutting down or resorting to labels prevents us from seeing nuance, while Mark reflects on how defensiveness narrows our ability to learn. They both highlight the mental, relational, and even physical toll of living in a constant state of us-versus-them—and how practicing civil discourse can relieve that burden.

• Practical steps to have better conversations
  Civil discourse doesn't just belong in politics or philosophy—it's useful at the dinner table, in the boardroom, and even on social media. Mark and Jim share practical steps: asking genuine questions instead of making assumptions, pausing before reacting, finding points of agreement before diving into differences, and setting clear intentions for the exchange. These tools help turn difficult conversations into opportunities for connection.

• How leaders (and men especially) can model calm, strength, and curiosity
  Men are often conditioned to argue, defend, or dominate conversations. Mark and Jim challenge this narrative, suggesting that true leadership shows up as restraint, humility, and a willingness to be curious. They discuss how modeling composure and curiosity—especially in front of family, teams, or communities—creates ripple effects that invite others to follow suit.

Mark and Jim reflect on their own experiences—moments when they've struggled to stay grounded in heated discussions—and the lessons they've taken away about presence, restraint, and humility.

This isn't about "winning" arguments. It's about building mutual respect, deeper understanding, and a stronger sense of connection in a time when it's easier than ever to divide.

If you've ever walked away from a conversation thinking, "That went nowhere", this episode will give you the tools—and the courage to try again, differently.