Why Do I Feel Guilty When I'm Happy? | The Grief Guardian Podcast - Episode 74

Can you be happy while grieving?

After losing someone you love, happiness can sometimes feel wrong.

You laugh. You enjoy yourself. You have a good day. Maybe you even forget about your grief for a little while.

Then the guilt arrives:

“How can I be happy when they're not here?”

In this episode of The Grief Guardian Podcast, I talk about my own experience with this after losing my daughter, Mia.

Our first Christmas after losing Mia was in 2022. We chose not to celebrate because we didn't want to put ourselves into an environment where everyone else was celebrating while we were grieving. Later, I found something unexpected through training. When I was focused on moving, learning and doing what I needed to do, I could experience joy without feeling guilty.

Over time, I came to understand that happiness doesn't mean moving on.

It doesn't mean forgetting.

It doesn't mean you love the person you lost any less.

You can be happy with your life while still being heartbroken that the person you love isn't here to experience it with you.

For me, the biggest shift came when I realised that I wasn't living without Mia. I was living for Mia.

I get to experience the things she doesn't.

I get to see the places she never will.

I get to have the experiences we should have had together.

And I believe she would want me to live every day to its fullest.

As grief begins to heal, there can be more room for love. You don't have to remain sad all the time to prove how much someone meant to you.

You can miss someone terribly and still have a good day.

If you're grieving and you've recently felt guilty for laughing, enjoying yourself or simply having a good day, I hope this episode reminds you that you haven't betrayed the person you lost.

You're still grieving.

You're still loving them.

You're just living too.

About The Grief Guardian

The Grief Guardian exists to help people navigate life after loss.

Through honest conversations, personal experiences and practical ideas around grief and healing, my goal is simple:

To help you find a way to live again without leaving the person you lost behind.

If this episode helps you, please consider sharing it with someone who might need to hear it.

You never know who is quietly struggling with the guilt of feeling happy again.

🎙️ The Grief Guardian Podcast
🌐 thegriefguardian.com
☕ Support The Grief Guardian: buymeacoffee.com/thegriefguardian

#TheGriefGuardian #Grief #GriefSupport #Grieving #GriefJourney #GriefAndHealing #ChildLoss #BereavedParents #GriefAndHappiness #HealingFromGrief #LifeAfterLoss

Going Home Without Your Child | The Grief Guardian Podcast – Episode 73

There is a moment after losing a child that can be almost impossible to describe.

You have to leave the hospital.

You have to walk through your front door.

And your child isn't coming home with you.

In this deeply personal episode of The Grief Guardian Podcast, Grant Cosgrove shares what it was like to leave the hospital after losing his daughter, Mia, and return to a home that had been prepared for a family of three.

But that wasn't the only trauma happening.

After Mia was born stillborn, Grant's partner Saroeun was rushed into emergency care after doctors discovered she had no blood pressure. While she was fighting for her life in ICU, Grant was trying to process the loss of his daughter.

Then came another unexpected trauma. Police investigating Mia's death forced entry into Grant and Saroeun's home, leaving the front door damaged for around three months. Every time Grant came home, he was confronted by a physical reminder of that terrible day.

Yet alongside the trauma came something Grant desperately needed: human connection.

Friends and family helped keep him grounded when reality didn't feel real anymore. At the same time, Grant discovered that he also needed solitude. Sitting at his computer and writing down exactly what had happened became one of the ways he began processing what he had been through.

He wasn't following a grief program.

He didn't know what he was supposed to do.

He was just winging it.

And sometimes, that's enough.

In this episode, Grant talks about:

• The shock and numbness of leaving the hospital without his daughter
• Walking into an empty home while Saroeun was still critically ill
• The impact of having his home broken into during an already traumatic time
• Why human connection can be so important in the early days of grief
• Why solitude can be just as important
• How writing his story helped him process the trauma
• Why you don't need to know how you're going to get through tomorrow
• The moment Grant realised he was beginning to find his feet
• Why healing doesn't mean loving your child less
• How the pain can shift while the love remains
• What Mia ultimately gave Grant: a complete understanding of love

If you're grieving

If you've just gone home without your child, you don't need to figure out your whole future today.

Tomorrow is too far away.

Focus on the moment you're in.

What do you need to do right now?

Then take the next step.

And the next.

You don't have to know how you're going to get through tomorrow.

You just need to get through this moment.

About The Grief Guardian

The Grief Guardian exists to help people navigate life after losing someone they love, particularly parents and fathers who can sometimes feel forgotten in the conversation around grief.

Grant's daughter Mia is at the heart of this work.

Mia never had the chance to take a breath in the physical world, yet her life continues to affect people Grant has never met.

The hope is that her story can help someone else find their feet.

You are not alone.

If this episode speaks to you, please consider subscribing to The Grief Guardian and sharing it with someone who might need to hear it.

🌐 The Grief Guardian: thegriefguardian.com

☕ Support The Grief Guardian: buymeacoffee.com/thegriefguardian

📱 Instagram: @grant_a_cosgrove

#Grief #ChildLoss #Stillbirth #GrievingFather #GriefSupport #TheGriefGuardian #GriefJourney #LosingAChild #BereavedParents #Stillborn

Taking the Small Wins: Being Kind to Yourself Through the Grieving Process | Episode 72

When you're grieving, it's easy to measure yourself against where you think you should be.

"It's been six months. I should be better by now."

"It's been a year. Why am I still struggling?"

But what does "better" actually mean?

In this episode of The Grief Guardian Podcast, I talk about something I've learned through my own journey after losing my daughter, Mia: sometimes the only way to recognise how far you've come is to stop looking at where you're going and look back at where you've been.

We talk about:

• Recognising the small wins that you may not even notice at the time
• Why getting through an ordinary day can be an achievement when you're grieving
• The first time I was able to talk about Mia without completely falling apart
• Why comparing yourself to where you think you "should" be can make grief even harder
• The moving horizon of goal setting and why looking backwards can show you progress
• Accepting that sometimes there simply are no answers
• Taking responsibility without spending your life punishing yourself
• Why you're allowed to have a good day without feeling guilty
• Finding reasons to keep living when grief becomes overwhelming
• The importance of finding just one thing to be grateful for each day

I also share something I see regularly with my martial arts students: they often don't realise how much they've progressed because they're focused on what they still can't do.

Grief can be the same.

The horizon keeps moving, but where you've come from is a constant.

So don't worry about fixing everything tomorrow.

Find one thing you're grateful for.

It could be your family. A friend. A walk. The sunshine.

Or maybe...

a really awesome cup of coffee.

That's your small win.

And sometimes, that's enough.

If you're grieving the loss of a child, a partner, a parent, a friend, or someone else you love, I hope this episode reminds you to give yourself some credit. You're probably doing better than you think.

The Grief Guardian Podcast is about finding a practical way forward through grief and learning how to live again after devastating loss.

I'm Grant Cosgrove. I lost my daughter Mia, and The Grief Guardian exists to help others navigate the journey I wish I had been better prepared for.

If this episode helps you, please consider liking, subscribing and sharing it with someone who might need to hear it.

You never know who is sitting alone today wondering if they're ever going to feel okay again.

Sometimes one message, one conversation, or one small win can make a difference.
Connect with The Grief Guardian

🌐 Website: ⁠https://thegriefguardian.com.au⁠

📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61566541571732

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/grant_a_cosgrove/

☕ Support the podcast: ⁠https://buymeacoffee.com/thegriefguardian⁠

#Grief #GriefSupport #ChildLoss #Grieving #TheGriefGuardian #GriefRecovery #HealingFromGrief #GriefJourney #SmallWins #Bereavement

The Grief Guardian