Taking the Small Wins: Being Kind to Yourself Through the Grieving Process | Episode 72

When you're grieving, it's easy to measure yourself against where you think you should be.

"It's been six months. I should be better by now."

"It's been a year. Why am I still struggling?"

But what does "better" actually mean?

In this episode of The Grief Guardian Podcast, I talk about something I've learned through my own journey after losing my daughter, Mia: sometimes the only way to recognise how far you've come is to stop looking at where you're going and look back at where you've been.

We talk about:

• Recognising the small wins that you may not even notice at the time
• Why getting through an ordinary day can be an achievement when you're grieving
• The first time I was able to talk about Mia without completely falling apart
• Why comparing yourself to where you think you "should" be can make grief even harder
• The moving horizon of goal setting and why looking backwards can show you progress
• Accepting that sometimes there simply are no answers
• Taking responsibility without spending your life punishing yourself
• Why you're allowed to have a good day without feeling guilty
• Finding reasons to keep living when grief becomes overwhelming
• The importance of finding just one thing to be grateful for each day

I also share something I see regularly with my martial arts students: they often don't realise how much they've progressed because they're focused on what they still can't do.

Grief can be the same.

The horizon keeps moving, but where you've come from is a constant.

So don't worry about fixing everything tomorrow.

Find one thing you're grateful for.

It could be your family. A friend. A walk. The sunshine.

Or maybe...

a really awesome cup of coffee.

That's your small win.

And sometimes, that's enough.

If you're grieving the loss of a child, a partner, a parent, a friend, or someone else you love, I hope this episode reminds you to give yourself some credit. You're probably doing better than you think.

The Grief Guardian Podcast is about finding a practical way forward through grief and learning how to live again after devastating loss.

I'm Grant Cosgrove. I lost my daughter Mia, and The Grief Guardian exists to help others navigate the journey I wish I had been better prepared for.

If this episode helps you, please consider liking, subscribing and sharing it with someone who might need to hear it.

You never know who is sitting alone today wondering if they're ever going to feel okay again.

Sometimes one message, one conversation, or one small win can make a difference.
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The Grief Guardian