Episode 80: The Second Year of Grief | Why Grief Changes But Doesn't Follow a Timeline

The first year of grief is filled with firsts. The first birthday, the first Christmas, the first family gathering without someone you love.

But what happens when the second year arrives?

In Episode 80 of The Grief Guardian Podcast, Grant Cosgrove discusses the often-overlooked experience of the second year of grief, sharing his personal journey following the loss of his daughter, Mia.

The second year can feel different. You've experienced many of the first milestones, but now you face the seconds. For parents who have lost a child, those milestones can bring new questions about who their child might have become and all the experiences they never had the opportunity to share.

Grant also discusses how his understanding of grief changed during the second year, including learning to detach from guilt, experiencing more good days than bad, and recognising that difficult moments don't necessarily mean you've gone backwards.

Together, we look at:

• Why the second year of grief can feel different from the first.

• The emotional challenges of experiencing milestones for a second time.

• How guilt can keep us focused on the circumstances surrounding a death.

• Why support from family and friends may become less frequent over time.

• How grief can appear unexpectedly, even during an otherwise good day.

• Navigating grief within relationships when partners experience difficult moments at different times.

• Why having more good days doesn't mean you love or miss someone any less.

• When professional grief support might be helpful.

• Learning to work through the waves of grief without putting pressure on yourself.

  
  

THERE IS NO TIMELINE FOR GRIEF

One of the most important messages in this episode is that you don't have to meet expectations or recovery goals during your second year.

You might feel ready to reconnect with life, pursue happiness or establish new routines. You might not. There is no pressure to get there by a particular date.

Your grief is yours. Be present with your feelings and allow yourself to work out what the next step looks like for you.

As Grant shares:

"You can't control when the waves arrive, but you can work through them. Each wave you work through equips you to face the next one. Take one moment at a time."

Whether you're entering your second year of grief, already navigating it, or supporting someone who is, this episode is a reminder that difficult moments don't mean you've failed.

You don't have to forget someone to continue living, and you don't have to stop missing them to find happiness again.

You don't have to walk this journey alone.

CONNECT WITH THE GRIEF GUARDIAN

🌐 Website: https://thegriefguardian.com

☕ Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/thegriefguardian

🎙️ Listen and subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and YouTube.

If this episode helps you, please consider sharing it with someone who might need to hear this message.

ABOUT THE GRIEF GUARDIAN

The Grief Guardian, hosted by Grant Cosgrove, provides support, education and understanding for people navigating life after losing someone they love.

Created in memory of Grant's daughter, Mia, the podcast aims to help people understand grief, find ways to live alongside it, and realise they don't have to face it alone.

Mia, this work is in memory of you. Every episode is a tribute to the love you brought into our lives.

#TheGriefGuardian #SecondYearOfGrief #GriefJourney #GriefSupport #ChildLoss #BereavedParents #LivingWithGrief #GriefHealing #LosingAChild #GriefPodcast

Episode 79: The Grief of Becoming a Father and Losing Your Child | The Grief Guardian Podcast

What does it mean to become a father and lose your child before you ever get the chance to raise them?

When a baby dies during pregnancy, is stillborn, or passes away shortly after birth, fathers experience a grief that can sometimes go unseen. Alongside losing their child, they may also grieve the future they imagined, the milestones they will never witness, and the experiences they had dreamed of sharing.

In this episode of The Grief Guardian Podcast, Grant Cosgrove shares his personal experience of losing his daughter, Mia, and the challenges of navigating fatherhood after loss.

Grant discusses the hopes and dreams he had for Mia, the emotional impact of losing the future they were supposed to share, and the difficult 22 days when Mia's mum, Saroeun, remained in hospital fighting for her life.

He also talks about finding moments to grieve during the drives home from the hospital, the importance of recognising fathers as grieving parents in their own right, and why losing a child doesn't take away your identity as their father.

This episode explores:

• The grief of losing an imagined future: Mourning the birthdays, milestones, adventures and everyday experiences that will never happen.

• The invisible grief of fathers: Why fathers can sometimes put their own emotions aside while supporting their partners.

• Being a father without getting to raise your child: Understanding that fatherhood isn't measured by the number of physical memories you have.

• Living with the moments you missed: Finding ways to acknowledge and imagine the experiences you never got to share.

• The impact on identity and relationships: Understanding how losing a child can change the way you see yourself, love and family.

• Finding ways to honour your child: Creating meaningful ways to maintain your connection without feeling pressured to turn grief into something productive.

• Taking life one moment at a time: Allowing yourself to heal without deadlines, expectations or pressure to know what comes next.

Grant also shares how losing Mia became the reason behind The Grief Guardian, a project created in her memory and dedicated to helping grieving families.

A message for fathers who have lost their babies:

You became a father when your child came into existence. Not being able to hold them, raise them or watch them grow doesn't take away from that. Your child mattered. Your relationship mattered. And your love still matters.

You don't need to work out how to live the rest of your life today. Just focus on getting through the moment you're facing right now.

You are their dad. You always will be.

CONNECT WITH THE GRIEF GUARDIAN

🌐 Website: https://thegriefguardian.com

☕ Support The Grief Guardian: https://buymeacoffee.com/thegriefguardian

Subscribe to The Grief Guardian Podcast for more conversations about grief, loss, healing and finding ways to live with the love that remains.

If this episode speaks to you, please consider sharing it with another grieving father who might need to hear this message.

SEARCH TOPICS

Grief of losing a child, fathers grieving child loss, bereaved fathers, stillbirth grief, pregnancy loss, infant loss, losing a baby, grief after stillbirth, becoming a father after loss, grieving dads, fatherhood after child loss, losing a newborn, The Grief Guardian, grief support for fathers.

EP78: When Someone Else's Happiness Hurts | The Grief Guardian Podcast

Have you ever looked at someone else's happiness and felt sadness, anger, or a deep sense of missing something you can never have?

Perhaps it's seeing a father hug his daughter, watching children celebrate Christmas, seeing a pregnancy announcement, or scrolling through photos of another family's happy moments.

When you're grieving, these ordinary moments can bring up emotions you might find difficult to understand. You can genuinely be happy for someone else while feeling heartbroken about what you've lost.

In Episode 78 of The Grief Guardian Podcast, Grant Cosgrove explores the difficult experience of watching others enjoy the moments you wish you could have shared with someone you love.

Drawing on his own experience of losing his daughter, Mia, Grant shares how seeing other families experience happiness brought up feelings of helplessness and sadness, particularly in the early days of grief. He also reflects on how those feelings have changed over time, moving from raw pain towards a quieter sense of missing what could have been.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why other people's happiness can trigger grief.

• The anger, sadness and helplessness that can arise after losing someone you love.

• Why these feelings don't make you a bad person.

• How you can be happy for someone else while still grieving your own loss.

• How our relationship with grief and its reminders can change over time.

• Finding a connection to love when you're reminded of what you've lost.

• Learning to carry your love forward, even when the person you love is no longer physically here.

If you're experiencing these feelings, please know that you aren't alone. You don't need to feel guilty for your reactions or force yourself to be okay. Give yourself permission to feel what comes up, and allow yourself time to find your own way through grief.

For me, one of the biggest lessons has been understanding that even though Mia isn't physically here, the love I have for her is still here.

Sometimes what hurts isn't the happiness you're seeing. It's the love you're reminded you still carry.

If this episode speaks to you, please consider liking, sharing and subscribing to The Grief Guardian Podcast. Your support helps these conversations reach others who may need to hear them.

❤️ The Grief Guardian
Guiding you through the hardest journey: life after losing a loved one. Empowering resilience, healing and hope, one step at a time.

🌐 Website: https://thegriefguardian.com
☕ Support The Grief Guardian: https://buymeacoffee.com/thegriefguardian

#TheGriefGuardian #Grief #ChildLoss #GriefJourney #Bereavement #LosingAChild #GriefSupport

What happens when you watch other people's children grow up and realise your child should be growing up alongside them?

In Episode 77 of The Grief Guardian Podcast, I talk about something many bereaved parents experience but may struggle to put into words.

My daughter Mia was born sleeping in October 2022. As I watch children around the age she would be now, I often find myself imagining the ordinary moments we never got to have.

Taking her to the playground. Watching her make friends. Seeing her discover animals and decide what she loves. Making pancakes together. Going to the beach. Hearing her ridiculous stories. Tucking her into bed.

And perhaps most of all, knowing what it would have felt like to have my daughter run up and hug me.

Watching other people's children grow can bring two emotions at the same time. You can feel genuine happiness watching another child experience life while also feeling the sadness of knowing your own child should be there too.

I don't look at other people's children and wish they weren't there.

I look at them and wish Mia was there too.

In this episode, I share the ordinary Saturday I wish I could have spent with my four-year-old daughter and why those seemingly insignificant moments can become some of the things we grieve the most.

I didn't need Mia to achieve anything.

I didn't need her to become anyone.

I just wanted the chance to be her dad.

If you've lost a child and watching other children grow brings up emotions you weren't expecting, you are not alone. You can smile at another child's happiness and still grieve the milestones your own child never got to experience.

Your child's life may have ended, but your love for them didn't.

You can still carry their love with you.

❤️ In loving memory of Mia Elizabeth.

If this episode speaks to you, please consider sharing it with another parent who may need to hear it.

The Grief Guardian
Guiding you through the hardest journey, life after losing a loved one. Empowering resilience, healing, and hope one step at a time.

#Grief #ChildLoss #Stillbirth #BereavedParents #GrievingParents #GriefSupport #StillbirthAwareness #LifeAfterLoss #TheGriefGuardian #MiaElizabeth

EP76: The Moments That Never Happened | The Grief Guardian Podcast

When we lose someone we love, we grieve the memories we shared.

But what happens when you're grieving someone you were supposed to have a lifetime of memories with?

In this episode of The Grief Guardian Podcast, I talk about the moments with my daughter Mia that never happened.

The first time I should have held her.

Hearing her cry.

Taking her to the park.

Watching her discover the world.

Helping her solve problems.

Watching her become independent.

Hearing about her dreams.

And eventually discovering the woman she would have become.

I didn't just lose the opportunity to make memories with Mia.

I lost the opportunity to discover Mia.

That's a different kind of grief, and it's something I think many bereaved parents understand deeply.

We can spend so much time mourning the birthdays, holidays, milestones and ordinary moments that never happened. But there is also something important we can do with the moments we did have, and with the love that remains.

In this episode, I share how I've learned to carry that love forward rather than leave Mia behind.

If you're grieving someone you love, I hope this episode reminds you that it's okay to mourn the moments that never happened.

And when those thoughts come, try to remember how the moments you did have made you feel.

Remember the love.

Remember the connection.

And carry that feeling forward.

Because love doesn't disappear just because someone is no longer physically here.

Mia, I wish I could have known you.
I wish I could have held you.
I wish I could have watched you grow.
I wish I could have discovered who you were going to become.
But I love you. And I always will.

I'm Dad.

And I'll always be your dad.

💙 The Grief Guardian

Guiding you through the hardest journey — life after losing a loved one. Empowering resilience, healing, and hope one step at a time.

🎙️ Listen to The Grief Guardian Podcast:
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🌐 Website: The Grief Guardian
💬 Join the community: Connect with others who understand grief and loss
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If this episode resonates with you, please consider sharing it with someone who may need to hear it.

You don't have to leave your loved one behind to keep living.

You can take their love with you.

Your love remains. Carry it forward.

#TheGriefGuardian #Grief #GriefSupport #ChildLoss #BereavedParents #GrievingParents #Stillbirth #GriefJourney #HealingFromGrief #GriefPodcast

What If I Forget Their Voice? | The Grief Guardian Podcast — Episode 75

What happens when you're afraid you're going to forget the voice of someone you love?

What if you can't remember their laugh as clearly as you once could? What if the little details begin to fade?

For many people grieving the loss of someone they knew and loved, this can be a frightening part of grief.

But my experience is different.

I never got to hear my daughter Mia's voice.

I never heard her laugh or cry. I never got to hold her in my arms after she was born or feel her tiny heartbeat against mine.

Mia was stillborn.

So in this episode, I talk about something that is sometimes overlooked in grief: grieving the memories you never had the chance to make.

We also explore what happens when the memories we do have begin to fade.

If you have old recordings, photographs, videos or voicemails of someone you've lost, hold onto them. Especially early in grief, they can be incredibly important. But as you heal, you may find that you need them less and less.

And that's okay.

Forgetting a detail doesn't mean forgetting the person.

You may forget little details of them, but you will always remember how they made you feel.

For me, Mia taught me something I could never have learned any other way.

You can love someone you never even got the chance to meet.

Love doesn't depend on how well you got to know someone.

This episode is for anyone grieving the loss of a loved one, and especially for parents experiencing stillbirth, pregnancy loss, or the pain of grieving the life and memories they never got the chance to experience.

And at the end, I speak directly to Mia.

Mia, I wish I could have gotten to know you and hold you in my arms.

Thank you for teaching me more about love than I could have ever known.

You created a purpose for me that I feel honoured to be able to carry out.

I love you, Mia.

And Daddy will always love you. ❤️

About The Grief Guardian

The Grief Guardian is here to help people navigate life after losing someone they love.

Grief isn't something we simply “get over.” It's something we learn to carry.

If you're grieving, you're not alone.

🌐 Website: https://thegriefguardian.com
📸 Instagram: @grant_a_cosgrove
☕ Support The Grief Guardian: https://buymeacoffee.com/thegriefguardian

If this episode speaks to you, please consider sharing it with someone who might need to hear it.

You never know whose life you might touch by sharing one conversation.

#TheGriefGuardian #Grief #GriefSupport #GriefJourney #Stillbirth #ChildLoss #PregnancyLoss #Bereavement #Grieving #Healing #Loss #Remembering #LoveAndLoss

Why Do I Feel Guilty When I'm Happy? | The Grief Guardian Podcast - Episode 74

Can you be happy while grieving?

After losing someone you love, happiness can sometimes feel wrong.

You laugh. You enjoy yourself. You have a good day. Maybe you even forget about your grief for a little while.

Then the guilt arrives:

“How can I be happy when they're not here?”

In this episode of The Grief Guardian Podcast, I talk about my own experience with this after losing my daughter, Mia.

Our first Christmas after losing Mia was in 2022. We chose not to celebrate because we didn't want to put ourselves into an environment where everyone else was celebrating while we were grieving. Later, I found something unexpected through training. When I was focused on moving, learning and doing what I needed to do, I could experience joy without feeling guilty.

Over time, I came to understand that happiness doesn't mean moving on.

It doesn't mean forgetting.

It doesn't mean you love the person you lost any less.

You can be happy with your life while still being heartbroken that the person you love isn't here to experience it with you.

For me, the biggest shift came when I realised that I wasn't living without Mia. I was living for Mia.

I get to experience the things she doesn't.

I get to see the places she never will.

I get to have the experiences we should have had together.

And I believe she would want me to live every day to its fullest.

As grief begins to heal, there can be more room for love. You don't have to remain sad all the time to prove how much someone meant to you.

You can miss someone terribly and still have a good day.

If you're grieving and you've recently felt guilty for laughing, enjoying yourself or simply having a good day, I hope this episode reminds you that you haven't betrayed the person you lost.

You're still grieving.

You're still loving them.

You're just living too.

About The Grief Guardian

The Grief Guardian exists to help people navigate life after loss.

Through honest conversations, personal experiences and practical ideas around grief and healing, my goal is simple:

To help you find a way to live again without leaving the person you lost behind.

If this episode helps you, please consider sharing it with someone who might need to hear it.

You never know who is quietly struggling with the guilt of feeling happy again.

🎙️ The Grief Guardian Podcast
🌐 thegriefguardian.com
☕ Support The Grief Guardian: buymeacoffee.com/thegriefguardian

#TheGriefGuardian #Grief #GriefSupport #Grieving #GriefJourney #GriefAndHealing #ChildLoss #BereavedParents #GriefAndHappiness #HealingFromGrief #LifeAfterLoss

Going Home Without Your Child | The Grief Guardian Podcast – Episode 73

There is a moment after losing a child that can be almost impossible to describe.

You have to leave the hospital.

You have to walk through your front door.

And your child isn't coming home with you.

In this deeply personal episode of The Grief Guardian Podcast, Grant Cosgrove shares what it was like to leave the hospital after losing his daughter, Mia, and return to a home that had been prepared for a family of three.

But that wasn't the only trauma happening.

After Mia was born stillborn, Grant's partner Saroeun was rushed into emergency care after doctors discovered she had no blood pressure. While she was fighting for her life in ICU, Grant was trying to process the loss of his daughter.

Then came another unexpected trauma. Police investigating Mia's death forced entry into Grant and Saroeun's home, leaving the front door damaged for around three months. Every time Grant came home, he was confronted by a physical reminder of that terrible day.

Yet alongside the trauma came something Grant desperately needed: human connection.

Friends and family helped keep him grounded when reality didn't feel real anymore. At the same time, Grant discovered that he also needed solitude. Sitting at his computer and writing down exactly what had happened became one of the ways he began processing what he had been through.

He wasn't following a grief program.

He didn't know what he was supposed to do.

He was just winging it.

And sometimes, that's enough.

In this episode, Grant talks about:

• The shock and numbness of leaving the hospital without his daughter
• Walking into an empty home while Saroeun was still critically ill
• The impact of having his home broken into during an already traumatic time
• Why human connection can be so important in the early days of grief
• Why solitude can be just as important
• How writing his story helped him process the trauma
• Why you don't need to know how you're going to get through tomorrow
• The moment Grant realised he was beginning to find his feet
• Why healing doesn't mean loving your child less
• How the pain can shift while the love remains
• What Mia ultimately gave Grant: a complete understanding of love

If you're grieving

If you've just gone home without your child, you don't need to figure out your whole future today.

Tomorrow is too far away.

Focus on the moment you're in.

What do you need to do right now?

Then take the next step.

And the next.

You don't have to know how you're going to get through tomorrow.

You just need to get through this moment.

About The Grief Guardian

The Grief Guardian exists to help people navigate life after losing someone they love, particularly parents and fathers who can sometimes feel forgotten in the conversation around grief.

Grant's daughter Mia is at the heart of this work.

Mia never had the chance to take a breath in the physical world, yet her life continues to affect people Grant has never met.

The hope is that her story can help someone else find their feet.

You are not alone.

If this episode speaks to you, please consider subscribing to The Grief Guardian and sharing it with someone who might need to hear it.

🌐 The Grief Guardian: thegriefguardian.com

☕ Support The Grief Guardian: buymeacoffee.com/thegriefguardian

📱 Instagram: @grant_a_cosgrove

#Grief #ChildLoss #Stillbirth #GrievingFather #GriefSupport #TheGriefGuardian #GriefJourney #LosingAChild #BereavedParents #Stillborn