Shane and Braden discuss why “validation first, accountability second” helps neurodivergent kids and adults regulate and stay receptive. Shane shares a moment with his seven-year-old son, who escalated when corrected until Shane paused to hear that it was an accident; once heard, his son calmed down and could still engage with consequences. Braden recounts advocacy at his son’s school during IEP setup after repeated “red days,” where staff assumed intent behind accidental hitting tied to poor proprioception and misunderstood affectionate behavior as choking. They connect these patterns to the double empathy problem (Damian Milton) and ADHD justice sensitivity research (Bondu & Esser, 2015), emphasizing that hearing the “why” isn’t excusing behavior. They teach mirroring versus reframing, encourage calm, explicit conversations with partners about being heard versus fixing, and note therapy may help build this skill over time. You can find Shane Thrapp at www.creatingorderfromchaos.com

You can find Braden Young at www.empoweradhdsolutions.com.

Shane and Braden discuss becoming fathers before understanding their ADHD, describing the “gap” of parenting with shame, inconsistency, hyperfocus, and emotional dysregulation. They reflect on relief followed by grief after diagnosis, the harm caused by missed follow-through and angry reactions, and how kids experience outcomes rather than intent. They emphasize that diagnosis provides language and information but not a cure, and that progress requires using it through medication, therapy, community, and supportive partners; unsupportive relationships can deepen shame and damage. They explore generational patterns, coping mechanisms like alcohol or conflict avoidance, and the importance of apologizing, repairing, and modeling persistence rather than perfection. Be sure to check out the episode on the importance of therapy for neurodivergent fathers here: https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-9bmi4-1a88d64

And if you are looking for support from men who understand your struggles, check out the Men's ADHD Support Group: https://mensadhdsupportgroup.org

You can find Shane at https://creatingorderfromchaos.com and you can find Braden at https://empoweradhdsolutions.com

00:00 Welcome to DadDHD 00:30 Late Diagnosis Dad Guilt 02:31 Hyperfocus as a Gift 04:51 When Follow Through Fails 06:04 Emotional Dysregulation RSD 06:55 Shame and Masculinity Traps 08:26 Getting Diagnosed Getting Tools 09:50 Partners Healing or Wounding 15:01 Breaking the Generational Cycle 18:50 Repair Over Perfection 21:10 Support Group and Legacy 22:14 Final Takeaways and Outro

Hey -- before we get into it, we owe you a quick apology. Life got away from us. Things have picked up on both ends, and we dropped the ball on getting new content out. We're back, and we're glad you're still here.

This week we're talking about something that sounds simple and isn't: rest. Not sleep. Not stopping. Actual rest -- and why neurodivergent brains are wired to fight it, guilt-trip themselves over it, and then crash hard when they finally can't avoid it anymore. Shane and Braden dig into why ADHD and AuDHD dads tend to treat rest like a reward they haven't earned yet, why that logic is broken, and what it actually looks like to build rest into your life as a system instead of a last resort. This isn't about slowing down. It's about understanding why your brain runs hot, why it needs different kinds of downtime than a neurotypical brain does, and why rest -- real rest -- is one of the most productive things you can do for yourself, your kids, and everyone who depends on you.

You can find Shane Thrapp at www.creatingorderfromchaos.com

You can find Braden Young at www.empoweradhdsolutions.com

Shane Thrapp of Creating Order From Chaos and Braden Young of Empower ADHD Solutions explore why Maslow’s hierarchy of needs can feel like it has a ceiling for neurodivergent parents who have reached stability and self-actualization but still ask “now what?” They discuss how neurodivergence can complicate safety, belonging, and esteem through masking, isolation, and shame, and why self-actualization shouldn’t be the finish line. Drawing on Dr. Cindy Blackstock’s interpretation of the contrast between what Maslow observed while studying the Siksika Nation and what he published, they describe a reframing where self-worth is a foundation for community actualization and cultural perpetuity. They argue that community breaks generational trauma cycles, and that small, consistent actions—engaging in kids’ therapy, modeling apologies, asking for help, and giving kids language—compound over time. You can find Shane Thrapp at www.creatingorderfromchaos.com You can find Braden Young at www.empoweradhdsolutions.com.

Shane Thrapp and Braden Young discuss “ADHD lows,” the flat, gray, low-arousal state where nothing feels worth the effort, and how it often leads to “dopamine hunting” like binge-watching, hyperfixating, scrolling, or other novelty-seeking. They connect the experience to anhedonia and “indifferent boredom,” framing it as dopamine dysregulation in ADHD rather than necessarily burnout or depression, and warn that mislabeling it can lead to wrong interventions. They share ways to spot the difference from depression (whether anything can still spark interest and whether the feeling comes and goes), and offer practical responses: name the cycle, lower demands, communicate with your partner, watch for upstream contributors like sleep debt and masking, and seek professional help if it persists or worsens. They emphasize the key distinction between regulating dopamine hunting versus numbing, and remind listeners they aren’t lazy or broken.

You can find Shane Thrapp at https://creatingorderfromchaos.com

You can find Braden Young at https://empoweradhdsolutions.com

Shane Thrapp and Braden Young welcome social coach, award-winning author, and keynote speaker Caroline Maguire, who has worked with neurodivergent people for 21 years and has just released her new book “Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults”.

Caroline explains she wrote the book after years of adult clients and parents asking for friendship support, especially amid increased diagnoses since the pandemic, and she highlights common themes from interviews and surveys: masking and people-pleasing, shame, rejection sensitivity, and the need to “find our people” through interests rather than taking any friendship available.

We talk about why parent friendships can feel complicated, how to move from acquaintance to friendship using shared interests and why “dropping a ping,” can help small talk provide useful information, and how parents can model healthy communication, boundaries, and friendship infrastructure by including their kids in their journey.

Caroline can be found at @authorcarolinem on Instagram And check out her new book “Friendship Skills For Neurodivergent Adults” wherever books are sold.

Shane Thrapp and Braden Young discuss the “cost of silence” underlying masking, describing how men are conditioned from childhood to hide struggle, avoid asking for help, and “push through” quietly, which becomes especially damaging when layered with ADHD/autism challenges like executive dysfunction, sensory overwhelm, emotional dysregulation, and rejection sensitivity. Braden shares a story about his son identifying overwhelm at a crowded flea market, highlighting how many men lacked language for their experiences and may go undiagnosed into their late 30s or 40s, often internalizing shame and believing they are lazy or broken. They describe long-term consequences including anxiety, depression, substance abuse, relationship strain, isolation, burnout, and anger. They emphasize peer community support, spotlight the Men’s ADHD Support Group (about 26,000 members, plus Discord and meetings), and encourage listeners to seek men’s support resources and share the episode. You can find out more information about the Men's ADHD Support Group at https://mensadhdsupportgroup.org for join them on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/mensadhdsupportgroup

You can find Shane Thrapp at https://www.creatingorderfromchaos.com

You can find Braden Young at https://empoweradhdsolutions.com

Shane Thrapp and Braden Young use Mother’s Day as a starting point to talk about how ADHD and AuDHD can make dates, gestures, and follow-through difficult, and why appreciation needs to be a daily practice rather than a once-a-year performance. Shane shares involving his kids, Liam and Harley, in choosing gifts to teach them to notice and value their mom, while both hosts emphasize that small, consistent acts of attention matter more than grand gestures. They explain how dopamine-driven novelty, time blindness, object permanence issues, executive function challenges, and rejection sensitive dysphoria can lead to complacency, missed needs, and defensiveness despite good intentions. They recommend systems like scheduled partner check-ins, reminders, trying new things together, learning love languages, externalizing appreciation, and staying present because kids are watching and learning what love looks like in practice.

00:00 Welcome to DadDHD 00:25 Mother's Day Jump Off 01:33 Teaching Thoughtfulness 02:28 Respect as Practice 03:52 ADHD Brain Science 05:29 Autopilot and Neglect 06:39 Follow Through Problems 07:33 RSD and Defensiveness 08:38 Systems That Work 09:00 Check Ins on Calendar 10:11 Redirect Novelty Together 11:03 Reminders and Externalize 12:41 Small Daily Connection 13:38 Kids Are Watching 14:19 Start Being Intentional 15:20 Wrap Up and Subscribe

You can find Shane Thrapp at https://www.creatingorderfromchaos.com

You can find Braden Young at https://empoweradhdsolutions.com