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  • EP 96: Stephanie's Second Act: A Story of Strength, Faith, and Starting Over After Abuse

    EP 96: Stephanie's Second Act: A Story of Strength, Faith, and Starting Over After Abuse
    2026/08/26
    In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura interviews Stephanie, a publicist, event curator, storyteller, and host of Second Act Sessions. With more than 25 years of experience in brand and celebrity public relations, Stephanie has worked with recognized names including Martha Stewart, John Legend, Giada De Laurentiis, and Kevin Hart, while leading major campaigns, events, and cultural moments across New York, Boston, and Los Angeles. Stephanie also shares her deeply personal journey of surviving 13.5 years in a narcissistically abusive marriage, where emotional abuse gradually eroded her identity and led to isolation, financial dependence, and suicidal thoughts. After her marriage ended, she began rebuilding her life through healing, self-reflection, faith, and storytelling. Today, through Second Act Sessions, her writing, and her work as a speaker, Stephanie helps women navigate midlife, faith, healing, and reinvention—reminding them that an ending can become the beginning of a more honest and intentional life. Key Topics & Timestamps Podcast Introduction (00:00:38) Host Laura introduces the podcast's mission to share women's stories of healing from narcissistic abuse and breaking the silence. Guest Introduction: Stephanie (00:01:35) Laura introduces her guest, Stephanie, a publicist, storyteller, and host of the "Second Act Sessions" podcast. Stephanie's Story Begins (00:04:12) Stephanie shares her 13.5-year marriage to a narcissist, realizing the abuse only after the divorce through social media posts. The Nature of Emotional Abuse (00:05:10) Stephanie describes emotional abuse as a slow chipping away of the self, explaining why she stayed in the relationship. Lacking Self-Esteem (00:07:08) The hosts discuss how a lack of personal self-esteem and a need for external validation made them vulnerable. Losing Her Career and Identity (00:10:07) Stephanie explains how her ex-husband isolated her by moving them away from her successful career, making her financially dependent. The Narcissist's Double Standard (00:14:03) The hosts discuss the controlling behaviors, double standards, and constant monitoring that create a suffocating environment in the relationship. Chaos, Confusion, and Isolation (00:16:51) Laura and Stephanie discuss how narcissists use chaos and confusion to make you feel crazy and isolate you from support. Reaching a Breaking Point (00:19:18) Stephanie shares how the abuse led to suicidal thoughts and feeling completely broken at the end of her marriage. A Divine Intervention (00:22:22) Stephanie describes praying to God for help, and two weeks later, her husband asked for a divorce, starting her healing. Faith and Divorce (00:24:38) Stephanie discusses reconciling her Christian faith with divorce, realizing God doesn't want anyone to stay in an abusive marriage. Reconnecting with Faith (00:30:09) Stephanie explains how she abandoned her faith during her marriage but reconnected with God, which became her saving grace. Starting to Share Her Story (00:34:15) Stephanie talks about first opening up to friends, which validated her experience and led to launching her podcast. The Healing Journey is Not Linear (00:38:17) The hosts discuss that healing takes time, has many layers, and requires giving yourself grace without a specific timeline. How to Support a Friend (00:46:38) The hosts offer advice on how to support a friend in a narcissistic relationship by listening, validating, and praying. Writing a Memoir (00:51:41) Stephanie shares her journey of writing a book about her life, from being bullied to navigating midlife after divorce. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Stephanie, "Emotional abuse is so different because there are no bruises; you can't see it. What I found in my relationship was that it was a slow, gradual chipping away of myself." Stephanie, "I knew how to love someone else, but the problem I experienced was I didn't know how to love myself." Stephanie, "You start shrinking yourself in the marriage and almost don't realize it's happening until you get out of it and get some space to realize you are a shell of your former self." Stephanie, "Slowly, with every twist and turn, I'm getting more. I'm reclaiming myself and coming back to who I'm meant to be, who God wants me to be." Stephanie, "Be very patient with yourself. There is no timetable. You could be fine and happy one minute and crying the next, and that's okay. That is healing." RESOURCES: FOLLOW THE PODCAST: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/ INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/ COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/book-store JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517 FOLLOW STEPHANIE: WEBSITE: https://secondactsessions.com/ INSTAGRAM: https://...
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    57 分
  • EP 95: Breaking the Anxiety Loop: Reclaim Your Joy and Rewrite Your Story with Ginger Kramer

    EP 95: Breaking the Anxiety Loop: Reclaim Your Joy and Rewrite Your Story with Ginger Kramer
    2026/08/19
    In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura interviews Ginger Kramer, a therapist, author, educator, and speaker passionate about helping women understand the emotional patterns that keep them stuck and find the confidence to move forward. Ginger shares insights from her 20+ years in therapy and her book Break the Anxiety Loop, exploring practical tools for managing anxiety, rebuilding self-trust after abuse, and navigating the emotional challenges of midlife transitions. Ginger emphasizes the power of taking baby steps, celebrating small wins, and using positive affirmations backed by personal evidence to rebuild confidence. She also discusses shadow work and the importance of making small daily decisions that help women reconnect with their true selves, reclaim their identity, and create healthier, more fulfilling lives after toxic relationships. Key Topics & Timestamps Podcast Introduction (00:00:38) Host Laura introduces the podcast's mission to help women heal by sharing stories and breaking the silence around their struggles. Content Warning (00:01:26) A brief warning is given that the episode may contain subjects that could be triggering for some listeners. Guest Introduction: Ginger Kramer (00:01:35) Host Laura introduces guest Ginger Kramer, a therapist and author specializing in emotional wellness, anxiety, and personal growth. Ginger's Background and Journey (00:03:34) Ginger discusses her 23-year therapy career, how selling skincare built her confidence, and her personal experience with anxiety. Breaking the Anxiety Loop (00:05:36) Ginger explains her hands-on therapy approach and the inspiration behind her book, which provides tools to manage the nervous system. The Power of Positive Self-Talk (00:11:06) Ginger shares a simple tool: using three positive phrases as a form of self-cheerleading to build confidence and move forward. Finding Proof for Affirmations (00:12:53) The importance of looking for real-life proof to validate affirmations is discussed, making them more effective than just repeating words. Keeping Healing Simple (00:15:20) Ginger advises against overwhelming oneself with big journals, suggesting instead to use scrap paper to track small, daily wins. Taking "Baby Steps" (00:16:49) Using the movie "What About Bob?" as an example, Ginger emphasizes the power of taking small, manageable steps during healing. Rebuilding Self-Trust in Midlife (00:18:28) The conversation shifts to the challenges women in midlife face, like empty nest syndrome, and how to rediscover themselves. Finding Your Path (00:21:34) Ginger explains that life has different chapters and encourages finding purpose and satisfaction in new passions, no matter how small. Revisiting Your Past Self (00:22:23) Instead of wanting to be who you were, identify the feelings from your past you want to reclaim now. Connecting Your Life's Thread (00:25:25) Ginger gives Laura homework to find the connecting thread between her past career and her current work with the podcast. A Therapist's Role (00:28:54) Ginger describes her role as helping clients see different perspectives and understand they can be whoever they want to be now. Trying New Things and Failing (00:31:12) The importance of trying new activities, building new neural pathways, and accepting failure as a necessary part of learning. Ginger's Workbooks and Action Guides (00:35:34) Ginger provides an overview of her published resources, including a 30-day skills book, a coloring book, and journals. Understanding Shadow Work (00:37:31) Shadow work is explained as a way to explore hidden or forgotten parts of yourself to become more well-rounded. Making Your Own Decisions (00:39:17) The speakers discuss the freedom and challenge of making personal choices after leaving a controlling relationship, starting with small things. Free Email Series (00:46:19) Ginger introduces her free 30-day email series, which offers daily guidance on managing anxiety and making personal changes. Conclusion and Final Thoughts (00:47:27) Ginger and Laura wrap up the conversation, encouraging listeners to share their stories and find their purpose in healing. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Ginger, "I get a lot of people going, "But I'm not really bad enough." It doesn't matter. If you hurt, then it's bad enough." Ginger, "You're not that person you were before; you can be whoever you want to be now." Ginger, "There's no decision that you make that you can't change." Laura, "My son asked me when I first got divorced, "Hey, do you want red or green enchiladas?" I was like, "I have no idea. I've never chosen."" Ginger, "It's scary, but you learn how to trust yourself by failing." RESOURCES: JOIN US AT THE TEA: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/1994887313656?aff=oddtdtcreator FOLLOW THE PODCAST: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/ INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/ COACH WITH LAURA: https://...
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    50 分
  • EP 94: From Self-Abandonment to Self-Leadership: A Raw and Real Conversation About Healing with Amy Watkins

    EP 94: From Self-Abandonment to Self-Leadership: A Raw and Real Conversation About Healing with Amy Watkins
    2026/08/12
    In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura interviews Amy Watkins, a therapist turned truth teller, speaker, and author of Performing Normal: A Woman's Story from Self-Abandonment to Self-Leadership. Amy shares her powerful journey of growing up under religious conditioning and neglect, surviving sexual abuse, and enduring two abusive marriages shaped by trauma bonding and gaslighting. She reflects on how these experiences influenced her identity and kept her disconnected from her own needs and voice. Amy opens up about her spiritual awakening and the difficult process of choosing herself after years of self-abandonment. She shares how small acts of self-care became part of her healing and encourages others to recognize subtle patterns of abuse, break toxic cycles, and reclaim their lives. Through her story and work, Amy reminds listeners that healing is not about becoming someone new—it's about discovering yourself, finding your voice, and learning to lead your own life. Key Topics & Timestamps Podcast Introduction (00:00:35) Host Laura introduces the podcast's mission: for women to share their stories and heal together from abuse and secrets. Guest Introduction: Amy Watkins (00:01:33) Amy Watkins, a therapist and author, is introduced. Her book focuses on healing from childhood trauma and self-abandonment. Why Amy Started Speaking Out (00:02:54) Amy shares that after being silenced for years, she started speaking out following a spiritual awakening and leaving her marriage. Recognizing a "Nice" Abuser (00:04:34) Amy discusses her abusive marriage, where her husband was so "nice" and smothering that she couldn't recognize the abuse. The Pettiness That Sparked Healing (00:07:01) Both Amy and Laura admit they initially started sharing their stories out of pettiness, which surprisingly resonated with many people. Dealing with Negative Feedback (00:07:52) Amy talks about receiving negative comments and blame from others after she started sharing her story online and healing from it. Religious Conditioning and Red Flags (00:09:15) Amy discusses her strict religious upbringing, which taught her to be a "good girl" and led to marrying quickly. The Illusion of a "Right Life" (00:11:41) The speakers discuss how high-control religion teaches that doing the "right things" will earn heavenly rewards, justifying current suffering. The Slow Decline in a Relationship (00:15:00) Amy explains how abusers "manage down expectations" over time, making victims grateful for small gestures, like a single text message. The Reverse Hoover and Trauma Bonds (00:16:23) Amy describes the "reverse hoover," where her ex would vanish, activating her abandonment wounds and keeping her in a trauma bond. The "I'm Trying" Tactic (00:19:28) Amy explains how abusers use generic phrases like "I'm trying" without any real effort or understanding of what needs to change. The Dangers of Non-Trauma-Informed Therapy (00:21:22) Amy shares a negative experience with a therapist who wasn't trauma-informed, highlighting the importance of finding the right professional help. Weaponizing Vulnerability (00:24:25) The host discusses how abusers weaponize shared vulnerabilities and past traumas, using them to deflect and maintain control in arguments. The Brain's Healing Process (00:26:27) They discuss how, during healing, the brain starts recalling suppressed memories and lies, bringing clarity to past abusive situations. Pathological Hope (00:28:00) Amy explains "pathological hope," where victims cling to the belief that their abuser will change, a pattern often learned in childhood. From Self-Abandonment to Self-Leadership (00:30:52) The conversation shifts to the concept of self-abandonment, which is at the core of staying in toxic relationships. How to Stop Abandoning Yourself (00:35:15) Amy offers a simple, practical tip to start noticing self-abandonment: consciously deciding to go pee when you need to. Making the Unconscious Conscious (00:38:29) Amy quotes Carl Jung, explaining that until we understand our unconscious childhood patterns, they will run our lives and be mistaken for fate. The Healing Journey is Not Quick (00:42:21) Amy emphasizes that healing from deep-seated trauma is a long, ongoing process with no definitive end, but it does get better. Losing People During Healing (00:44:28) They discuss the painful but necessary process of losing friends and family who cannot accept the new, healed version of you. Why Healing Can Feel Worse Than Trauma (00:49:49) Amy explains that healing is painful because you are consciously feeling the grief your brain previously dissociated from to protect you. Writing the Book (00:52:13) Amy shares her experience of writing her book, which involved an intense period of memories and emotions pouring out. The Decision to Leave (00:54:43) Amy recounts how she left her first marriage by having an affair, an unconscious act to escape a suffocating situation. Finding Amy ...
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    1 時間 1 分
  • EP 93: When Faith Becomes a Cage: Jubilee's Journey Out of Cult Control and Domestic Violence

    EP 93: When Faith Becomes a Cage: Jubilee's Journey Out of Cult Control and Domestic Violence
    2026/08/05
    In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura interviews Jubilee, a content creator and host of the podcasts Healed-ish and The Overshare Hour, where she openly discusses religious trauma, purity culture, deconstruction, and healing from abuse. Jubilee shares her powerful story of joining Bethel, a high-control religious organization, and marrying an abusive man after a public prophecy declared they were destined to be together. She recounts the manipulation, isolation, and physical abuse she endured before finally leaving the marriage and filing for divorce over what became known as the "Disney burger" incident. Today, Jubilee uses her voice and platform to help others navigate religious trauma, reclaim their identity, and find freedom through honest conversations about healing and deconstruction. Key Topics & Timestamps Podcast Introduction (00:00:36) The host, Laura, introduces the podcast's mission to share women's stories of healing from trauma and abuse. Guest Introduction (00:01:34 Laura introduces her guest, Jubilee, a content creator who shares her story of leaving a cult and an abusive marriage. The Isolation of Deconstruction (00:03:13) Jubilee discusses the loneliness and loss of community that comes with questioning and leaving high-control religious systems. Why Jubilee Started Sharing Her Story (00:05:55) Jubilee explains how she began sharing her story online to raise awareness about the cult, Bethel, and her experiences. Joining the Cult, Bethel (00:07:11) Jubilee recounts being drawn to Bethel after a powerful experience at a conference where she believed she was healed. The Bethel Experience (00:12:33) Jubilee describes the pressure to conform to specific behaviors, like manifesting, to fit into the Bethel culture. Interning at a Smaller Ministry (00:15:04) Jubilee moves to a smaller, more eccentric ministry in Pennsylvania for an internship, where she meets her future husband. Meeting Her Abusive Ex-Husband (00:18:02) Jubilee describes how her ex-husband appeared kind and generous, love-bombing her and grooming her for a relationship. The Marriage Prophecy (00:21:35) A well-known prophet publicly declares that God intends for Jubilee and her then-boyfriend to marry, solidifying her decision. Ignoring Red Flags (00:28:05) Jubilee shares the bizarre and delusional beliefs her ex-husband held, which she overlooked due to the prophecy. The Harm of False Prophecies (00:34:16) The host and Jubilee discuss how prophetic words can trap people in abusive situations by making them feel divinely sanctioned. The Disney Burger Incident (00:36:36) Jubilee details the fight that started when she gave her cousin a bite of her burger at Disney World. The Final Assault (00:46:47) The argument over the burger escalates, leading to her husband strangling her for the second time in their marriage. Calling the Domestic Violence Hotline (00:48:41) After the assault, Jubilee calls a hotline, which helps her recognize the pattern of abuse in her marriage. Leaving and Filing for Divorce (00:53:49) Jubilee strategically leaves her husband, returns home, and files for divorce, which is finalized quickly due to the pandemic. Jubilee's Current Projects (00:57:12) Jubilee talks about her two podcasts, "Heal Dish" and "The Overshare Hour," and her plans to write a memoir. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Jubilee, "I called the domestic violence hotline because I really didn't feel like I could talk to anybody in my life about it." Jubilee, "I was so primed to believe that that is how love works. It's what I wanted for myself. I wanted to feel chosen and seen." Jubilee, "I would not have married him if it was not for this prophetic word." Jubilee, "So often in this marriage, I had apologized. I had gotten so used to, 'I know how to fix this. I know how to make it go away,' and the way to make it go away is to say that everything was my fault." Jubilee, "She said, 'I believe that God says that you're allowed to get divorced.' And that was exactly what I needed to hear." RESOURCES: FOLLOW THE PODCAST: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/ INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/ COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/book-store JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517 FOLLOW JUBILEE: INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns/ TIK TOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@jubileedawns "Freedom begins the moment you trust your voice over fear." Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com Contact us for expert podcast production and support.
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    1 時間
  • EP 92: Holy Disobedience: Sex, Sin, and Secrets, and Healing From Abuse with Melissa Duge Spiers

    EP 92: Holy Disobedience: Sex, Sin, and Secrets, and Healing From Abuse with Melissa Duge Spiers
    2026/07/29
    In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura speaks with Melissa Duge Spiers, an award-winning essayist, screenwriter, and advocate for survivors of religious and narcissistic abuse. Through her writing, memoir Holy Disobedience: Sex, Sin, and Secrets in the Biggest Church No One Knows, and her online platforms, The Glory Whole, Melissa shares her personal journey of healing while helping others recognize and recover from religious trauma. Her work has been featured in The Huffington Post, and she is also a contributor to Take the Fruit: An Anthology of Religious Trauma. Melissa opens up about growing up in the cult-like Seventh-day Adventist Church, where teachings centered on submission and self-abandonment left her vulnerable to abusive relationships. She reflects on how religious programming shaped her decade-long narcissistic marriage and a subsequent toxic relationship before discussing the healing she found through therapy, supportive online communities, and writing her memoir. Together, Laura and Melissa emphasize that leaving abuse is only the beginning, and that lasting healing comes through ongoing self-discovery, reclaiming your voice, and learning to trust yourself again. Key Topics & Timestamps Guest Introduction (00:01:28) Laura introduces the guest, Melissa, an award-winning writer and advocate for survivors of religious and narcissistic abuse. The Biggest Church No One Knows (00:02:53) Melissa discusses the Seventh-day Adventist Church, a fundamentalist Christian organization she describes as cult-like and surprisingly large. Leaving the Church vs. Healing (00:05:36) Melissa explains that leaving the church at 18 was not the same as healing from its programming. Repeating Religious Patterns (00:07:01) Melissa describes how the church's teachings on submission and obedience led her into abusive relationships in her secular life. Suppressing Emotions (00:09:57) Melissa and Laura discuss how their high-control religious upbringings taught them to suppress "bad" feelings like anger. The "Fake" Persona (00:13:35) Melissa recalls being called "fake" because she was out of touch with her feelings, a result of childhood self-abandonment. Learning About Boundaries (00:15:56) The conversation covers the difficulty of learning and practicing boundaries after decades of people-pleasing and being called "difficult." Documenting Survivor Stories (00:17:20) Melissa explains how she began documenting survivor stories of abuse within the church, which eventually aided a lawsuit. The Healing Power of Sharing (00:19:05) Melissa and Laura discuss the validating and healing experience of holding space for other survivors and sharing their stories. Discovering Her Father's Abuse (00:22:23) Melissa shares the story of learning her pastor father was an abuser and how she connected with one of his victims. A Dangerous Partnership (00:25:49) Melissa recounts her decade-long, controlling marriage to a man with Cluster B personality disorders, which felt familiar after her upbringing. Discovering Narcissistic Abuse (00:28:18) Melissa explains how she learned about narcissistic abuse online during Covid, finally putting a name to her partner's behavior. Coercive Control Tactics (00:34:10) The discussion turns to specific manipulative tactics like feigning panic attacks and using sleep deprivation to maintain control. The Sleep Talking Manipulation (00:36:10) Melissa describes how her ex-partner would say cruel things in his sleep and then deny responsibility when confronted. Deprogramming and Escaping (00:43:09) Melissa details how therapy and online communities helped her deconstruct her trauma and finally leave her abusive partner. Life After Abuse (00:48:16) Melissa and Laura talk about the glorious process of getting to know themselves and finding freedom after leaving abusive relationships. About the Book: "Holy Disobedience" (00:50:31) Melissa describes her memoir, which covers leaving her religion, realizing its programming led to abuse, and her healing journey. Leaving Doesn't Equal Healing (00:53:28) Melissa emphasizes that leaving an abusive situation is just the first step; conscious, ongoing work is required for true healing. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Melissa, "I had left at 18. As soon as I was an adult, I was out of there, and I just thought naively that leaving equaled healing." Melissa, "High-control religions teach you to not trust your gut. Your doubts are from the devil." Melissa, "It is just a jaw-dropping, stomach-dropping moment when you realize, 'Oh my God, there's a name for this.'" Melissa, "My therapist was like, 'This is your chance. You have been given a gift by being kicked out. Do not take him with you.' And I was just like, 'Oh, I can do that.'" Melissa, "Leaving does not equal healing. That's leaving a religion, a relationship, or a toxic family. It doesn't matter." RESOURCES: COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/...
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    56 分
  • EP 91: What Does True Healing from Betrayal Really Look Like? with Dr. Debi Silber

    EP 91: What Does True Healing from Betrayal Really Look Like? with Dr. Debi Silber
    2026/07/22
    In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura speaks with Dr. Debi Silber, the world's leading expert on betrayal recovery, founder and CEO of the Post Betrayal Transformation (PBT) Institute, and a PhD researcher whose work has transformed how we understand the impact of broken trust. Drawing on research involving more than 100,000 people across 50+ countries, Dr. Debi has identified groundbreaking discoveries about betrayal recovery that have helped individuals, coaches, leaders, and organizations move from pain to transformation. A two-time TEDx speaker, bestselling author, award-winning speaker, and host of the From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast, she has dedicated her career to helping people rebuild their lives after betrayal. Together, Laura and Dr. Debi explore the profound emotional, physical, and psychological effects of betrayal, discussing how broken trust can shatter identity, relationships, and overall well-being. Dr. Debi shares her own deeply personal journey, which inspired her PhD research and the creation of the PBT Institute, and explains the five stages of betrayal recovery. Throughout the conversation, she offers practical insights, hope, and encouragement, reminding listeners that while betrayal can change you, healing is possible through willingness, intentional rebuilding, and transformation. Key Topics & Timestamps Podcast Introduction (00:00:34) Host Laura introduces the podcast, its purpose for women healing from narcissistic relationships, and the importance of sharing stories. Introducing Doctor Debi Silber (00:01:23) Laura introduces guest Doctor Debi Silber, detailing her extensive credentials and expertise in betrayal recovery and post-betrayal transformation. How Doctor Debi Started Her Work (00:03:46) Doctor Debi shares her personal story of betrayal by family and her husband, which led her to pursue a PhD. The Decision to Share Her Story (00:06:22) Doctor Debi discusses the terror and vulnerability of sharing her personal betrayal story publicly, starting with her TEDx talks. Defining Betrayal (00:09:44) Betrayal is defined as breaking a spoken or unspoken rule and is unique from other traumas because it requires rebuilding yourself. Why We Don't See Betrayal Coming (00:14:30) Doctor Debi explains that betrayal is deceptive by design and discusses how people intentionally or unintentionally turn down their intuition. Resilience vs. Transformation (00:18:54) Using a house analogy, Doctor Debi explains the difference between resilience (restoring) and transformation (rebuilding something entirely new) after trauma. Rebuilding Yourself with Intention (00:21:18) The opportunity after betrayal is to intentionally rebuild a new version of yourself, even changing small, self-critical habits. The Window of Willingness (00:22:58) A four-level framework to determine if it's possible to rebuild a relationship with the person who betrayed you. Rebuilding Trust in Yourself (00:28:46) Betrayal shatters our ability to trust our own judgment, so rebuilding self-trust is a crucial part of the healing process. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Dr Debi, "I have no idea if I can heal from this, but if I can, I'm taking everybody with me."Laura, "I'm speaking for that woman who was me, who was dying. If she didn't hear that there was hope on the other side, she was going to die because I literally wanted to die."Dr Debi "You don't even want to get back to who you were, because that version of you may have been tolerating what you no longer are willing to tolerate."Dr Debi, "I was so critical. I would never say to anybody else what I would say to myself."Dr Debi, "Even though it happened to you, it's not about you. Stop blaming and shaming yourself." RESOURCES: FOLLOW THE PODCAST: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/ INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/ COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/book-store JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517 FOLLOW DR DEBI: WEBSITE: https://thepbtinstitute.com INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/debisilber/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/debisilber "Betrayal may break your trust, but it doesn't have to define your future." Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com Contact us for expert podcast production and support.
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    56 分
  • EP 90: Healing Trauma and OCD with Bravery: Lucia Severtson on the Brave Women's Community Center

    EP 90: Healing Trauma and OCD with Bravery: Lucia Severtson on the Brave Women's Community Center
    2026/07/15
    In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura speaks with licensed psychotherapist, creative arts therapist, and Brave Hearts Speak podcast host Lucia Severtson, founder of The Brave Women's Community Center, a trauma-informed, arts-based nonprofit dedicated to helping women and girls heal from abuse, reconnect with their inner voice, and reclaim their power. Drawing on her background in psychotherapy, theatre, dance/movement therapy, and the creative arts, Lucia shares her deeply personal journey through OCD, a traumatic health scare linked to birth control, and the lasting impact of narcissistic abuse. She opens up about how severe insomnia and suicidal thoughts led her to seek specialized OCD therapy, ultimately transforming her life. Inspired by her own healing journey, Lucia created The Brave Women's Community Center to provide therapeutic improv, storytelling circles, empowerment workshops, and other trauma-informed programs that help women move beyond survival and rediscover joy, creativity, and purpose. Throughout the conversation, she and Laura explore the power of community, creative expression, and self-compassion in the healing process, reminding listeners that bravery isn't about being fearless—it's about showing up, reclaiming your voice, and embracing a life filled with hope and authenticity. Key Topics & Timestamps Guest Introduction (00:01:30) Laura introduces Lucia Sivertsen, a psychotherapist and founder of the Brave Women's Community Center, specializing in arts-based therapy. Lucia's Journey into Therapy (00:02:35) Lucia explains her work is rooted in her personal history, including her family of origin and a 2019 OCD episode. Health Scare and OCD Onset (00:03:12) Lucia details a severe health scare from birth control, leading to weight loss, insomnia, and an intense OCD episode. Suicidal Thoughts and Seeking Help (00:05:41) Lucia describes how severe sleep deprivation led to suicidal thoughts and the realization that her mind, not her body, was sick. Finding the Right Therapist (00:07:25) Lucia shares the relief of finding a therapist specializing in OCD and the sadness of accepting her brain disorder diagnosis. Women's Healthcare and Medical Abuse (00:08:56) The conversation shifts to the poor treatment of women in healthcare, particularly regarding perimenopause, framing it as a form of abuse. A Painful Doctor's Visit (00:14:21) Lucia recounts a shaming, invalidating experience with a nurse practitioner who dismissed her suffering and called her crazy. Healing Through Exposure Therapy (00:16:55) Lucia explains how Exposure and Response Prevention therapy saved her life and taught her the true meaning of being brave. Narcissistic Abuse and Self-Worth (00:18:18) Lucia realized her family history of narcissistic abuse caused deep-seated negative beliefs about herself, feeling like she was "nothing." Creating the Brave Women's Community Center (00:22:48) Lucia was inspired to create a safe, non-competitive space for women to heal and find their own embodiment of bravery. The Power of Creative Arts in Healing (00:25:10) Laura and Lucia discuss how trying new creative activities helps rebuild neural pathways and heal the brain after trauma. Building a Safe Community (00:30:06 Lucia describes creating a safe, non-judgmental environment where women can overcome fear and reclaim their creativity without pressure to perform. Storytelling Circles and Therapeutic Improv (00:35:12) Lucia explains her podcast's origin and her therapeutic improv workshops, which use play and writing to facilitate storytelling and healing. The Courage to Heal (00:39:13) The discussion covers how abuse erodes courage and how small, brave acts, like decorating a home, are vital steps forward. Finding Lucia and Her Work (00:43:56) Lucia shares where listeners can find her online, including her website, social media channels, and upcoming creative writing courses. A Year-Long Theater Program for Survivors (00:45:32) Lucia announces a grant-funded, year-long theater program in Denver for women survivors to create and perform their own show. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Lucia, "I think something clicked for me where I started to realize, 'I don't think my body is sick. I think my mind is sick.'" Lucia, "What I was looking for all my life that I didn't realize I wanted was to be brave." Lucia, "I don't have to make my drive in life being safe." Lucia, "I just wanted to be a fuller human being, and I wanted to help other women do that because I knew I wasn't the only one." Lucia, "I wanted to find them, and I wanted to be able to provide them with an actual way to embody bravery." RESOURCES: FOLLOW THE PODCAST: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/ INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/ COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: https://...
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    48 分
  • EP 89: Two Women, One Narcissist: Deana & Lizzie's Harrowing Journey Through Abuse, Lies, and Healing

    EP 89: Two Women, One Narcissist: Deana & Lizzie's Harrowing Journey Through Abuse, Lies, and Healing
    2026/07/08
    In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura sits down with Deana, Lizzie, and Jane—three women whose story sounds like a Lifetime movie, but every word of it is true. Deana and Lizzie were both married to the same narcissistic man, "Rex," who led a double life while leaving a trail of emotional, financial, and sexual abuse behind him. After discovering the truth and connecting with one another, they tracked down his secret girlfriend to warn her, choosing solidarity over silence. Together, they share how Rex's charm masked years of manipulation, discuss the red flags they wish they had recognized sooner, and explain how they broke free from self-blame to transform their pain into purpose. The conversation concludes with practical advice for anyone questioning whether they're experiencing narcissistic abuse, along with an introduction to their podcast, Surviving Toxic Relationships with the Matadors, where they continue helping others recognize abuse and find hope through shared experiences. Laura's co-host for this episode is Jane. Jane is the ex fiancé of my ex husband. They spent two years together, and we all hung out together in college. She's here to give her perspective of being with the same narcissist I was, and also her experience with narcissistic abuse in other relationships in her life. Key Topics & Timestamps The Likelihood of a Second Toxic Relationship (00:00:00) Women who have been with a narcissist are more likely to end up with another one, who may appear different. Podcast Introduction (00:00:33) Host Laura introduces the "That's Where I'm At" podcast, a space for women to share their stories and heal. Trigger Warning (00:01:22) A brief announcement warns listeners that the episode's content may be triggering and advises them to take care. Introducing the Guests and Their Story (00:01:30) Laura introduces guests Deana and Lizzie, who were married to the same narcissist, and co-host Jane, an ex-fiancée. Deana's Story: Meeting "Rex" (00:03:00) Deana shares how she met her ex-husband, "Rex," at 17 and married him quickly despite early red flags. Deana's 27-Year Marriage (00:04:24) Deana describes her 27-year marriage, marked by her ex's sexual addiction, financial abuse, gaslighting, and manipulation. Ignoring Red Flags (00:06:37) The group discusses seeing red flags early on but being too naive or in survival mode to act on them. The Trauma Bond (00:10:08) Laura explains how intermittent reinforcement and abuse create a trauma bond, making it difficult for victims to leave. Lizzie's Story: How She Was Wooed (00:11:21) Lizzie explains how Rex charmed her by helping with her four sons, a different approach than he used with Deana. Lizzie's Marriage and the Turning Point (00:14:28) Lizzie describes her six-year marriage and how things got weird after a great summer, leading to her leaving him. Financial Abuse and Reaching Out (00:15:21) Lizzie discovered her credit was ruined and reached out to Deana's son to let him know she was leaving. Should You Warn the Next Person? (00:17:55) The women debate the difficult decision of whether to warn a narcissist's new partner, who may see them as crazy. Jane's Perspective (00:20:21) Jane, the ex-fiancée of Laura's ex-husband, shares her experience and the red flags she now recognizes from their relationship. The Narcissist's Need for Attention (00:22:37) The group discusses the narcissist's constant need for female attention, possibly stemming from a "mother wound" or self-centeredness. Connecting Deana and Lizzie (00:25:08) Deana recounts how her son encouraged her to contact Lizzie, leading to a conversation that connected the dots for both. The Healing Power of Validation (00:27:01) Laura and Jane discuss the profound healing that came from speaking with someone who experienced the exact same narcissist. Discovering Wife Number Three (00:29:50) Deana and Lizzie found out Rex was dating another woman while married to Lizzie and felt compelled to find her. Finding and Warning "Jane Doe" (00:31:20) Deana describes the months-long search for the other woman and the phone call where she revealed Rex's double life. The Aftermath for Wife Number Three (00:35:12) The third wife, Jane, connected with Lizzie, realized the extent of the deception, and had Rex served with annulment papers. What Attracted Them to the Narcissist (00:38:43) The women reflect on their own vulnerabilities, like low self-esteem and a need for love, that made them susceptible. Healing Journeys: Gratitude and Journaling (00:49:07) Lizzie shares how journaling and focusing on daily blessings helped her heal and change her mindset during her grief. Healing Within the Relationship (00:51:06) Deana explains her healing began before the divorce by focusing on her own growth instead of trying to fix him. Changing the Narrative (00:54:28) Jane discusses how she had to change the internal narrative that everything was her fault to begin her healing...
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    1 時間 5 分