Burnout isn’t a weakness. It’s a signal that your body needs real rest.

Dr. Shauna Pollard is back for the second episode in our “Breaking the Burnout Cycle” series to answer the question: What is rest?

Cate and Dr. Pollard talk about what true, restorative rest looks like (hint: it’s not just zoning out on your phone), and how to start taking small, doable steps toward rest when you’re already deep in burnout.

For more on this topic:

• ADHD burnout
• Full Catastrophe Living, by Jon Kabat-Zinn
• Your Money or Your Life, by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin

Timestamps: [2-4]

(00:00) Intro

(02:08) How do you realize that enough is enough and you need to rest?

(03:58) How do we know if the “rest” we’re taking is actually restorative?

(09:10) Feeling guilty or uncomfortable with resting

(15:18) How to decide what to pursue, and what to wait on

(20:14) The relationship between perfectionism, procrastination, and burnout

(23:41) Finding small moments to integrate rest, and other suggestions from Dr. Shauna

(29:07) Outro and credits

For a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Understood.org. You can also email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Feeling drained, unmotivated, or stuck in survival mode? In part one of our “Breaking the Burnout Cycle” series, host Cate Osborn and psychologist Dr. Shauna Pollard unpack the question: What is burnout? They explore the signs to watch for, how to recognize when you’re in it, and how it’s different from depression.

If you’ve been wondering whether what you’re experiencing is burnout, this episode is a good place to start.

Related resources

• ADHD burnout
• ADHD and depression
• Dr. Shauna’s website, https://drspllc.com/

Timestamps

(00:00) A word from Cate on burnout

(01:50) What is burnout? How is it different than depression?

(05:57) What happens when ADHD perfectionism and overcommitting meets burnout?

(08:06) How do we know that we’re starting to get burnout? How can we tell if it’s burnout or depression?

(12:11) How to recognize whether your battery is low or completely tapped out

(15:55) How to get to know ourselves and our bodies better to help us in the future

(22:57) Burnout spreading from work into the home

(26:39) Outro and credits

For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org. We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

It’s a solo mailbag episode! Host Cate Osborn grabs her trusty D20 to let fate decide which listener emails to answer.

Cate answers some common ADHD questions from navigating ADHD as a woman, to what it means to have a diagnosis, to how symptoms can shift as we age.

Related resources

• Understood Explains podcast season 2: ADHD diagnosis in adults
• ADHD and: Aging
• Facebook group: ADHD Support for Women by Understood.org

Timestamps

(00:00) Intro
(00:27) The rules
(01:14) Why do previously stimulating activities become routine?
(02:48) What does an ADHD diagnosis provide?
(05:30) What are some tips for self kindness when dealing with problems we’ve created?
(09:56) How to not get too overloaded by a task
(14:52) Does ADHD become more calm as you get older? Are there future treatments other than medication being developed?
(21:38) A parting word from Cate
(23:04) Outro and credits

For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org.

We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What if your money problems weren’t just about willpower, but about who you are?

In this episode of Sorry, I Missed This, Cate chats with Ellyce Fulmore, financial educator and author of Keeping Finance Personal, about how who you are affects how you deal with money. We cover how things like ADHD, race, gender, and queerness all shape your money habits. Ellyce explains how to understand your own “money story” and why some advice doesn’t work for everyone. We also talk about what happens when someone with ADHD gets into a relationship and has to mix money with a partner.

Related resources

• What is the ADHD tax?
• Ellyce’s website, queerdco.com
• Ellyce’s ADHD Aha! podcast episode: The pain of struggling with basic tasks — ADHD in the pandemic

Timestamps

(00:00) A word from Cate on ADHD and money

(02:44) The intersection of identity and finances

(07:57) Balancing treating yourself and impulse spending

(10:13) The word “should”

(14:09) Shame, guilt, and embarrassment about money

(17:50) The ADHD tax

(20:42) ADHD and finances in a relationship

(25:05) Ellyce’s advice for starting to think about your money story

(26:58) Outro and credits

For a transcript and more resources, visit the “Sorry, I Missed This” show page on Understood.org.

We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Social skills can be challenging for people with ADHD. Whether it’s trouble with executive function, or anxiety from past situations, socializing can come with a lot of emotions. It can also be really confusing and bring up uncomfortable questions. Why does it seem so much easier for everyone else? Why can’t I hold on to friendships? What do I even like to do?

In this episode Host Cate Osborn chats with Caroline Maguire, MEd. Caroline is an ADHD coach, and author of the book Why Will No One Play With Me? Join Cate and Caroline as they talk about how ADHD affects social skills — and what we can do to help.

Related resources

• Caroline’s website
• Caroline’s book, Why Will No One Play With Me?
• Caroline’s video, How to Stop People Pleasing With ADHD

For a transcript and more resources, visit the “Sorry, I Missed This” show page on Understood.org. We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ever wondered if your therapist gets you, or if therapy is even working? You’re not alone. This week, Dr. Elizabeth Kilmer is back to unpack the complicated, sometimes confusing, always human relationship between therapist and client (especially when ADHD is in the mix).

Host Cate Osborn and Elizabeth dig into how different types of therapy work, how to tell if therapy is actually helping, and what kinds of conversations are and aren’t fair game in the therapy room. Whether you’re starting therapy for the first time or reevaluating a long-term fit, this conversation will help you trust your instincts and advocate for what you need.

Related resources

• Dr. Kilmer’s website, elizabethkilmer.com
• Treatment for mental health issues
• Dialectical behavior therapy: What you need to know
• Cognitive behavioral therapy: What is CBT?

Timestamps

(00:00) Intro

(00:43) What inspired this episode

(01:53) Relationship between therapist and client basics

(04:45) How do we know if a therapist is a good fit for us?

(06:50) What is a ‘therapeutic modality’? What is a ‘manualized treatment’?

(09:36) How do we know if therapy working?

(13:51) How do we give feedback to our therapist?

(17:29) How do we breakup with a therapist?

(19:35) What do we talk about in therapy?

(23:52) What do we do if we don’t have access to therapy?

(26:09) Advice on how to start therapy

(29:22) Outro and credits

We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Forget what you’ve seen in movies: BDSM isn’t one-size-fits-all. As Dr. Leann Borneman explains, it’s more of an à la carte menu where consent, communication, and personal boundaries come first. You can take what works for you and leave the rest.

Host Cate Osborn talks with clinical sexologist Dr. Borneman about the intersection of BDSM, neurodivergence, and executive function. They explore how some people with ADHD use parts of BDSM, like structure, sensory input, and clearly defined roles. These can help support attention, reduce overwhelm, and build emotional regulation.

Listen as Cate and Leann challenge outdated assumptions, and learn how destigmatizing your desires can help you show up more fully in your life.

Related resources

• Leann’s website, bornemancoaching.com
• Leann’s dissertation, The Intersection of ADHD and BDSM Engagement in Heterosexual Women

For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org. We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Timestamps

(00:00) Intro

(00:48) A comment from Cate on stigma

(02:35) BDSM as a coping strategy, not just a preference

(03:58) Society’s stigma versus the scientific research

(06:37) Pick and choose what works for you, you don’t have to label yourself

(10:53) ADHD and sexuality: Incapability versus lack of access

(13:10) What is causing this lack of access to good sex?

(17:27) Unmasking is key to authenticity and figuring out what you like

(19:11) BDSM creates space for safety through it’s collaborative and consentful nature

(21:54) Leann’s advice for those curious about BDSM and kink

(24:33) Outro and credits

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Grief can be overwhelming for anyone — but for people with ADHD, it can show up in surprising ways.

Therapist Rachel Hopkins joins host Cate Osborn to unpack the intersection of ADHD and grief. They discuss how time blindness, emotional intensity, and memory challenges can shape the grieving process — and how ADHDers might mourn in nonlinear, unconventional ways. Rachel also offers some insights for anyone struggling to grieve “the right way” while living with a neurodivergent brain.

Related resources

• From the ADHD Aha! podcast, Love and grief with ADHD (Steve Wesley’s story)
• Grief-Fueled ADHD: Strategies to Manage A Complex Combination by Rachel Hopkins
• The Invisible String by Patrice Karst
• The Grand Hotel of Feelings by Lidia Brankovíc

Timestamps

(00:48) A word from Cate on ADHD and grief

(03:05) Nonlinear ADHD grief

(06:11) Executive function challenges and grief

(09:34) Emotional regulation and planning immediately following a loss

(11:03) Time perception challenges and processing grief

(15:34) Rejection sensitivity and worrying about others’ judgement of our grieving

(20:19) Balancing distraction and avoidance

(26:24) The importance of acknowledging that your ADHD will affect your grief, and celebrating your wins

(27:29) ADHD and delayed grief reactions

(29:30) Advice for neurotypical people supporting an ADHDer through grief

(30:44) Rachel’s last thoughts and advice for any ADHDer going through grief right now

For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org.

We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.