If you've spent your whole life being told you're so good at reading the room, this episode might reframe everything.

Codependency is one of those words that gets thrown around casually, usually as a polite way of calling someone too needy. But for late-diagnosed and late-identified neurodivergent adults, the pattern looks entirely different, and it doesn't come from neediness. It comes from survival.

In this episode, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. and co-host Russ, break down what codependency actually is, where it came from as a clinical framework, and why neurodivergent people, particularly those who spent years masking without knowing it, are disproportionately likely to develop these patterns. When reading the room is how you stayed safe, outsourcing your sense of self to the people around you isn't a character flaw. It's an adaptive strategy. One that works, until it doesn't.

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About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD

Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

What if the research you spent years obsessing over was actually about your late diagnosis the whole time?

In this episode, Dr. Regina Ph.D. traces an unexpected connection between her dissertation research on identity formation in digital role-playing games and her own late diagnosis experience. The question she thought she was asking turned out to be far more personal than she realized, and the answer says something important about why so many late-diagnosed adults struggle to know who they actually are.

She unpacks how masking and people pleasing, though they look different on the surface, function as the same underlying system. And why that system, however logical it was, came with a cost most of us don't fully see until something forces us to look.

If you've ever wondered how much of the self you built was really yours, this one is going to hit.

This is the first episode in a new series exploring Neurodivergent Codependency, where those patterns come from, how they show up in work and relationships, and what it actually looks like to start building an identity that belongs to you.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Make it Make Sense Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD

Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) gets talked about a lot in neurodivergent spaces, but there's a layer to it that most people miss: sometimes the pain isn't about rejection at all.

In this episode, Dr. Regina McMenomy Ph.D. shares a personal story about sending a bid for connection and the moment everything went sideways, not because the response was unkind, but because it didn't match the emotional script she had already written in her head. That gap between anticipated response and actual response, it turns out, is its own distinct trigger for RSD.

If you've ever felt a wave of hurt when someone's reaction didn't land the way you expected, even when nothing actually went wrong, this episode is for you.

You'll take away:

• A new framework for understanding RSD triggers that go beyond perceived criticism
• Why neurodivergent people sometimes "pre-feel" emotional responses, and what that reveals
• How to separate emotional impact from intention without assigning blame
• A more compassionate lens on the part of you that keeps writing the scripts

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD

Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

If you've started unmasking and suddenly feel like you can't do things you used to handle effortlessly, you're not imagining things. In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina Ph.D. breaks down skill regression, a disorienting but normal phase of the unmasking journey that many late-identified neurodivergent adults experience.

Regina explains how so many of us built our skills, routines, and even our sense of identity around a masked, performative self, and why removing that mask can feel like losing abilities overnight. She covers how social skills and reading the room were often fueled by hypervigilance and fear, and why glitches in those skills are actually a sign of progress.

This episode reframes skill regression not as a setback, but as a data-collection process, a chance to discover what you are truly capable of as your authentic self. If you've been late diagnosed with ADHD, autism, or another form of neurodivergence, this episode will help you understand the awkward, in-between phase of unmasking with more compassion and context.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD

Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

You held it together all day: smiled at your coworkers, made small talk, kept the mask firmly in place. So why do you walk through your front door and completely fall apart? And why does the guilt that follows make everything worse?

In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina, PhD, sits down with Russ to unpack one of the most misunderstood experiences for late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults: unmasking at home. If you've ever snapped at the people you love most and immediately hated yourself for it, this episode is for you.

What you'll learn:

• Why masking at work depletes your executive functioning and what that actually means when you walk through the front door
• The difference between the "unmasked you" and the dysregulated you (and why your family isn't actually seeing the real you either)
• How compounding shame and guilt make the next day even harder
• Why your kids acting out at home is actually a sign of secure attachment not bad parenting
• How to build trust and safety at home that allows everyone to regulate more effectively

Whether you're ADHD, autistic, or newly diagnosed, Dr. Regina offers practical insight into breaking the exhaustion-snap-guilt cycle and building deeper, more authentic connections with the people you love.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD

Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

A late diagnosis is supposed to bring answers. And it does. But it also brings something no one prepares you for.

In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina Ph.D. sits with the grief that quietly arrives after a late ADHD or autism diagnosis. The mourning for a past you couldn't fully understand. The losses you didn't know you were carrying. And why feeling this doesn't mean something is wrong with you. It means you're paying attention.

This episode talks about:

• Why relief and grief aren't opposites — they arrive together
• The way a diagnosis reaches back and reframes your entire life history
• The specific losses that surface when you finally see yourself clearly
• Why this grief isn't linear and keeps returning in waves
• How to bring self-compassion to the drawing board when you're rebuilding your identity

This episode is especially for late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults who've ever felt like grief had no place in a story that was supposed to have a happy ending.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD

Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

Getting an ADHD diagnosis is supposed to make everything clearer. And in some ways, it does. It gives you language, validation, and a framework for understanding yourself.

But what no one talks about is what comes next.

In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina Ph.D. and Russ unpack the quiet, often uncomfortable tension that shows up after a late ADHD or autism diagnosis. The space between who you used to be and who you’re becoming. The pull back toward old patterns that kept you safe, even when they cost you your sense of self.

We talk about:

• Why diagnosis brings clarity, but not instant change
• The internal conflict between familiar behaviors and authentic choices
• How masking, people-pleasing, and overfunctioning impact relationships
• Why some relationships deepen and others fall apart
• The grief, guilt, and growth that come with unmasking

This episode is especially for late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults navigating identity shifts, boundary-setting, and the reality that becoming yourself can disrupt the life you built while performing.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD

Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

What if the hardest part of your ADHD diagnosis wasn’t getting the answer… but learning how to trust yourself again?

In this episode, Dr. Regina, Ph.D. explores what it means to rebuild self-trust after a late ADHD or autism diagnosis. Because when everything you thought you knew about yourself gets thrown into question—your habits, your reactions, your relationships—it’s not just clarity you gain. It’s uncertainty.

And underneath that uncertainty is a question many neurodivergent adults quietly carry: Can I actually trust myself?

This episode unpacks how years of masking, people-pleasing, and being told you’re “too much” or “not enough” can erode your internal sense of trust and why so many late-diagnosed folks end up outsourcing their reality to other people.

You’ll learn:

• Why self-trust often decreases right after a diagnosis (and why that’s normal)
• How masking and perfectionism disconnect you from your internal signals
• What it looks like to start trusting your emotions as data (not disqualifications)
• Simple, practical ways to rebuild self-trust, one small, honest moment at a time

Regina also shares personal stories—from defiance-fueled achievements to people-pleasing patterns—and how unmasking reshaped her relationship with herself.

Because self-trust isn’t about always being right. It’s about staying on your own side.

If you’re a late-diagnosed neurodivergent adult trying to reconnect with your instincts, your voice, and your truth… this episode is your starting point.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD

Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after they receive their late diagnoses.