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In this heartfelt and raw conversation, Doug and I explore the journey of self-discovery, breaking free from codependency, and the power of truly knowing yourself. Doug shares his story of how he spent most of his life letting others define him, until he had a profound awakening that led him to embrace self-love and ownership of his identity. We dive into the importance of personality assessments like the MBTI, the Enneagram, and even human design in helping us understand ourselves at a deeper level. We also touch on relationships—how codependency shows up in partnerships, and how true self-care isn’t about avoiding conflict, but embracing it with honesty and compassion. Doug’s evolution from people-pleasing to owning his boundaries and trusting his intuition in business and life is a powerful reminder of the transformative impact of self-love.

3 Key Takeaways:

1. Self-love begins with knowing yourself.
   Doug’s journey highlights that falling in love with yourself starts with understanding your personality, your strengths, and the way you process the world. The more you know, the more confidently you can make decisions aligned with who you truly are.
2. Codependency stems from letting others define you.
   Codependency often arises when we disconnect from our true selves and allow others' expectations to shape who we are. The path to healing begins with reclaiming your identity and trusting your own judgment.
3. True self-care involves tough conversations.
   True self-care isn’t always easy or comfortable. It’s about setting boundaries, engaging in difficult conversations, and honoring your needs, even when it means stepping into discomfort to protect your peace.

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Author and writer Abby Rosmarin takes us through the healing journey that led to her new book, The Year of Dating Myself: How My Solo Tour Healed More Than Just My Heartbreak. After years of jumping from relationship to relationship, Abby decided to break the cycle and take a year to rediscover herself—not through dating others, but by dating herself. In this conversation, Abby shares her raw experience of learning to be comfortable in her own company, setting boundaries, and letting go of old patterns. From solo concert dates to deep introspection, Abby walks us through how she learned to love herself first, and how that self-love set the stage for the best relationship of her life. This conversation is a powerful reminder that true self-care is about reconnecting with yourself, breaking old cycles, and embracing loneliness without fear.

3 Key Takeaways:

1. Breaking the Cycle of Codependency
   Abby's journey highlights the importance of breaking free from the cycle of seeking validation through relationships. By dating herself, she finally gave herself permission to be whole, independent, and enough.
2. The Power of Solo Adventures
   Taking solo dates—like attending a concert alone—was both uncomfortable and empowering for Abby. It’s about proving to yourself that you’re worthy of your own love and company, without needing anyone else to complete you.
3. Healing from Loneliness, Not Escaping It
   Embracing loneliness can be incredibly painful, but Abby shows us how leaning into this discomfort is crucial for growth. True self-love isn’t about avoiding loneliness, but about learning to sit with it and grow stronger because of it.

For books and more info: Abby Rosmarin

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Retired U.S. Army officer and mental performance/leadership coach Andy Riise (NFL Chicago Bears, University professor, Speaker) breaks down self-care as mental fitness—the inside-out training that lets athletes, leaders, parents, and teams perform under pressure. Andy shares his “mental mechanic” approach, the Survive → Cope → Thrive bridge model, and a simple daily check-in (1–10) to “fight to the right.” We talk stress, confidence, burnout, performance anxiety, and why aiming for a solid C game on bad days beats chasing perfection. This conversation reframes self-care as both personal discipline and a team sport—maintenance, not emergency repair.

3 Key Takeaways:

1. Train your mind like your body.
   Psychological skills (energy & stress management, reframing, confidence, focus) are the decisive edge—especially when you don’t have your A game.
2. Use the bridge + daily check-in.
   Rate 1–3 (surviving), 4–7 (coping), 8–10 (thriving). Ask: Where am I? Why? What’s one action to move right today? How can someone help? Consistency > perfection.
3. Self-care is a team sport.
   Don’t wait for the “check-engine” light. Normalize support and vulnerability (especially for men). Remember: 70% done well is winning—show up, then squeeze the juice from what you’ve got.

Links to learn more and contact Coach Andy Riise.

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If you’ve been struggling with emotional codependency or want to learn how to establish a healthy balance of independence and vulnerability in relationships, join Kathy on this transformative journey. Be sure to subscribe to My Self-Care Sht* and leave a review!

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Executive coach and fractional CHRO Lauren Lefkowitz gets real about how “fine” keeps high-achievers stuck—and what it actually takes to build a sustainable career and life. Lauren shares the jaw-dropping moment that forced her to stop people-pleasing (yes, it involved a Roomba and two broken shoulders), and how she rebuilt with boundaries, therapy, guided meditation, accountability, and celebration. We unpack codependency at work, the fear of being labeled “lazy,” and why saying no isn’t mean—it’s mature. You’ll learn Lauren’s simple Notice → Decide → Do framework, how to use the pause/breath before you act, and why the feelings wheel belongs in every leader’s toolkit. If you’ve ever said “it’s fine” while your body screams otherwise, this conversation is your loving wake-up call. (Grab Lauren’s free Fine Is A Trap inventory and connect with her—links in the show notes.)

3 Key Takeaways:

1. Notice → Decide → Do (with a Pause).
   Slow down first. Notice what you’re saying yes to, decide what truly serves you, then do—after a breath.
2. Boundaries aren’t lazy—they’re leadership.
   Redefine “selfish” as self-honoring. A clear no protects your health, work, and relationships—and you’re still worthy even if others don’t like it.
3. Support and celebration are self-care.
   Therapy, accountability partners, sleep, guided meditation, the feelings wheel—and yes, celebrating wins (even small ones) rewires “fine” into thriving.

LINK to all of Lauren's links

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What if your greatest fears could become the gateway to living your most authentic life? In this illuminating conversation with transformational success coach Heather Vickery, we explore the powerful intersection of human design and subconscious reprogramming—two complementary approaches that can help you truly know, like, and trust yourself.

Heather unpacks the fascinating world of human design, a scientific self-discovery system that reveals how you're uniquely designed to experience the world. Unlike personality tests that change over time, your human design remains constant, offering profound insights into your decision-making process, energy patterns, and life purpose. We explore the five human design types—Manifesters, Generators, Manifesting Generators, Projectors, and Reflectors—and how understanding your type can transform the way you approach everything from career choices to relationships.

The conversation takes a deeper turn as Heather explains how Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) can help reprogram the 95% of your mind that operates subconsciously. Through techniques like timeline therapy and subliminal audios, you can make subtle yet powerful shifts that lead to remarkable transformation—often more quickly than you might expect. "Just because it took you a lifetime to get to a point where you want to make change does not mean it will take you a lifetime to change," Heather reminds us.

Whether you're struggling with codependency, seeking greater self-understanding, or simply curious about human design, this episode offers practical wisdom for your self-care journey. Pull your free human design chart at victoryandco.com and begin discovering who you truly are.

My Guest:

Heather Vickery, Transformational Success Coach

www.vickeryandco.com

Join Heather for Chicago's Premier Networking Event, emPower Breakfast, the 2nd Friday of every month.

JOIN Heather IN COSTA RICA, JANUARY 2026!

Unlock self-love and inner strength with The Spark Collective. Tap into on-demand resources and journal prompts—crafted for your busy life. Join now and start your transformation!

Live with Heather Vickery - Weekly Live Show on Thursdays @ 12pm Central

Podcasts: Was It Chance? | The Brave Files Podcast

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In this episode, Kathy Love sits down with her dear friend, Courtney Turich, Global VP of Sales and Marketing for Cooler Heads, Shark Tank alum, and host of the Bold Moves, Confident Choices podcast. They discuss the power of embracing boldness, making confident choices, and the importance of being unapologetically yourself.

Courtney shares her personal journey of embracing authenticity, self-care, and stepping into her power, while offering insights into how anyone can embody their boldest, best self. Tune in for inspiration, vulnerability, and powerful reminders on the beauty of choice and personal growth.

Key Takeaways:

1. Embracing Boldness and Authenticity:
   Courtney and Kathy discuss how stepping into your authentic self is an evolution. By embracing boldness, individuals can find strength and confidence, even through challenges like imposter syndrome.
2. The Power of Vulnerability in Self-Care:
   Vulnerability is key to personal growth. Courtney emphasizes that showing up authentically, even without feeling your best, is a form of self-care that attracts the right energy and people into your life.
3. Choice as Empowerment:
   Boldness and confidence are choices we make every day. By reflecting on our past "bold moves," we can recognize the strength within us to make future decisions and embrace life's challenges with open arms.

Courtney Turich

Cooler Heads

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If you’ve been struggling with emotional codependency or want to learn how to establish a healthy balance of independence and vulnerability in relationships, join Kathy on this transformative journey. Be sure to subscribe to My Self-Care Sht* and leave a review!

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In this episode, Kathy Love sits down with Scott McGregor, publisher of Outlier Magazine, founder of The Outlier Project and Something New, and a four-time author. Together, they explore how building deep, meaningful relationships has shaped Scott's success and personal growth. Through their conversation, they highlight how relationship-building is a form of self-care, fostering both personal fulfillment and professional success. Tune in for insights into how cultivating genuine connections can elevate your life and business.

Show Notes:

• Scott McGregor shares his journey of building lasting relationships, from his early days of sending personalized notes to today’s global impact through the Outlier Project.
• The episode delves into how Scott's intentional approach to relationship-building has contributed to his entrepreneurial success and personal development.
• Kathy and Scott discuss the importance of surrounding yourself with people who elevate you, hold you accountable, and push you to reach new heights.
• Highlights include Scott’s perspective on how these relationships shape his business ventures and the Outlier Project community’s transformative impact.

Key Takeaways:

1. Intentional Relationship Building: Scott explains how being intentional about connecting with others has been a key factor in his personal and professional success.
2. Personalized Care: The power of thoughtful, personalized gestures to strengthen bonds and show people they are seen and valued.
3. The Ripple Effect: Surrounding yourself with high-caliber individuals elevates your standards and sparks ideas, creating a ripple effect that influences every aspect of your life and business.

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If you’ve been struggling with emotional codependency or want to learn how to establish a healthy balance of independence and vulnerability in relationships, join Kathy on this transformative journey. Be sure to subscribe to My Self-Care Sht* and leave a review!

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In today’s episode, Kathy Love discusses a subtle but telling sign of codependency: the automatic negative thoughts that arise when others reach out to you. Kathy shares a few personal examples of how these split-second thoughts can reveal deeper patterns of insecurity and self-doubt. She also offers tips for recognizing these thoughts and shifting your perspective to break free from codependent behavior. Tune in for insights on how to catch yourself in the act of codependency and take control of your emotional response.

Show Notes:

• Kathy explores the automatic negative thoughts that can arise when someone reaches out to you, and how they may be tied to codependency.
• She shares personal stories of times when her first thoughts were assumptions based on fear of rejection, rather than reality.
• Kathy emphasizes how to spot these automatic thoughts and learn to laugh at them, reframe them, and heal the underlying codependent behaviors.
• The episode includes practical advice on improving emotional resilience and self-worth, particularly when dealing with work, friendships, and intimate relationships.

Key Points:

1. Recognizing the first thought: A codependent mindset often triggers negative assumptions about others' intentions (e.g., thinking you’re being fired or rejected without cause).
2. The healing process: Learn to spot these automatic thoughts, laugh at them, and reframe them quickly as part of the healing journey.
3. Building emotional resilience: Over time, developing a stronger sense of self allows you to stop overthinking and confidently trust your worth in all areas of life.

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If you’ve been struggling with emotional codependency or want to learn how to establish a healthy balance of independence and vulnerability in relationships, join Kathy on this transformative journey. Be sure to subscribe to My Self-Care Sht* and leave a review!

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