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In this raw and soul-stirring episode of the Self-Care Sht* podcast, host Kathy Love sits down with Erica Bonham, a therapist, author, and somatic trauma specialist whose work blends science, spirituality, and deep humanity. Together they unpack what it really means to heal the “not-so-pretty parts” of ourselves—those stories, sensations, and inherited wounds that live beneath the surface.

Erica shares how her own journey through adoption, sobriety, and family trauma shaped her mission to help others integrate body, mind, and heart. She explains ancestral and epigenetic trauma in down-to-earth language and offers powerful ways to reconnect to the body when talking therapy isn’t enough. From rage as sacred energy to shaking, laughing, and crying your way toward wholeness, this conversation is a masterclass in embodied healing.

🔑 Key Takeaways

• We All Have “Stuff.” Healing isn’t about erasing pain—it’s about metabolizing it so it can transform.
• Trauma Lives in the Body. You can’t think your way out of trauma; you have to feel and move through it.
• Find Your Own Medicine. Meditation, dancing, shaking, screaming, or stillness—whatever helps you release energy is valid.
• Slow Is Fast. Real healing takes time; rushing the process only recreates the trauma.
• At the Center of the Shadow Is Sweetness. When we compost the hard parts, we uncover love, levity, and liberation.

Erica Bonham is passionate about walking folks through the beautiful, messy process of turning wounds into wisdom so that we can all remember our true nature—that we are always and already enough AND we still have work to do. Her work bridges personal healing with collective transformation and invites us to remember that the world needs us here in our fullest expression. She is a nationally sought-after speaker, licensed professional counselor, certified EMDR clinician, consultant, trainer, bestselling author, and nervous system regulation coach. She’s passionate about redefining leadership as a practice of presence, resilience, equity, and joy.


📦 Download the Free Regulation Toolkit: 11 Somatic Practices to Get You Out of Overwhelm: https://www.avoscounseling.com/freebie

🌐 Connect with Erica and her team for therapy and coaching services at: http://www.avoscounsleing.com

📘 Book: Get a signed copy of Erica's bestselling book, Always Enough, Never Done: https://www.avoscounseling.com/always-enough

💌 Find AVOS on Instagram and Linkedin:
https://www.instagram.com/avoscounseling/

Support the show

If you’ve been struggling with emotional codependency or want to learn how to establish a healthy balance of independence and vulnerability in relationships, join Kathy on this transformative journey. Be sure to subscribe to My Self-Care Sht* and leave a review!

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In this uplifting episode of the Self-Care Sht* podcast, host Kathy Love sits down with her friend Clayton, a leadership trainer and mindfulness teacher, to explore how a 20-year finance career evolved into a life devoted to presence, service, and practical self-care.

Clayton shares the inflection point that changed everything: a values-based approach to money (inspired by George Kinder) that unexpectedly led him out of finance and into not-for-profit work, meditation, and eventually corporate leadership training grounded in mindfulness and neuroscience. From the “brain’s negativity bias” to why gratitude works on a biological level, this conversation is equal parts science, storytelling, and totally usable tools.

You’ll hear how meditation can live far beyond the cushion—on the pickleball court, in the shower, or in a tough conversation in your kitchen—and why the real magic is noticing (without judgment) and then choosing your next best action. Also: the funniest unexpected benefit of meditation? Becoming “a little less of a jerk.” 😂

🔑 Key Takeaways

• Mind–Heart Alignment: A successful career can still feel misaligned. Mindfulness helped Clayton move from “head only” to a purpose rooted in service.
• Meditation Is a Tool, Not a Trophy: It’s not about bliss; it’s about practicing awareness so you can choose your response when life gets real.
• Negativity Bias Is Normal: Our brains are “Velcro for threat and Teflon for reward.” Gratitude—specific and embodied—helps rebalance the system.
• Everyday Mindfulness Works: Showers, walks, eating, golf, pickleball—if you intentionally engage your senses, you’re training presence.
• Humor Heals: Laughter can downshift tension and create space for wiser choices (and kinder relationships).

👤 About the Guest

Clayton is a leadership trainer and mindfulness teacher who blends neuroscience, soft-skills coaching, and practical meditation for real-world impact. After two decades in finance and a decade in nonprofit fundraising, he now helps teams and leaders build clarity, calm, and courage through mindful presence. He hosts a free Friday Morning Online Meditation featuring centering practice, a short talk, and guided meditation, with open community sharing afterward. (Details and contact in the links below.)

Connect with Clayton:
Friday Morning Meditation

Meditation4Leadership

LinkedIn

Support the show

If you’ve been struggling with emotional codependency or want to learn how to establish a healthy balance of independence and vulnerability in relationships, join Kathy on this transformative journey. Be sure to subscribe to My Self-Care Sht* and leave a review!

Follow Kathy:

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High-end boudoir photographer and empowerment coach Lindsay Hite (Show Your Spark, Boston) joins me to talk about why her studio experience is far more than photos—it’s a nervous-system-aware, hospitality-inspired container for women (and those who identify as women) to see themselves with new eyes. We get into body image, perfectionism, imposter syndrome, EFT/tapping, hypnosis, and how one day in the studio can become an anchor for lasting self-worth. I also share my own session with Lindsay—what terrified me, what surprised me, and how those images still remind me who I am. This is self-care sh*t in action.

Guest: Lindsay Hite, owner of Show Your Spark (Boston), high-end boudoir photographer, hypnotherapist, and certified life & success coach.
Find Lindsay:

• Instagram (Coaching): @lindseyhight
• Instagram (Studio): @show.your.spark
• Studio: showyourspark.com
  (We’ll link these directly in the episode page.)

What We Cover

• From weddings to “show your spark”: Lindsey’s path from luxury destination weddings to founding a studio centered on confidence, identity, and inner light.
• Why it’s true self-care: Curating a safe, trauma-aware, hospitality-inspired experience—music, mindset, makeup, and a whole-day arc—so the photos become anchors for how you want to feel.
• Seeing yourself—really: Kathy’s session story (fear, tears, the reveal) and how the images rewired her inner dialogue about her body and worth.
• Mindset + modalities: How Lindsey integrates subconscious tools—hypnosis, EFT/tapping, journaling, subliminals, meditation—before/after sessions and in coaching.
• Coaching ripple effect: Why Lindsey now mentors photographers to deliver empowerment-first experiences in their own way.
• Real talk on perfectionism & imposter syndrome: Using the tools while building, parenting, and handling life’s curveballs (hello, studio flood + norovirus week).
• Daily self-care sh*t: Candles, quick meditations, cards/affirmations, A Course in Miracles, early-morning solitude, and micro-rituals (yes, the five-minute shower reset).

Favorite Lines

• “The photographs are an anchor for the emotional state you’re in when they’re taken.” —Lindsey
• “She was in me all along. I finally saw her.” —Kathy
• “We go first. As coaches and creators, we embody the mindset we invite our clients into.” —Lindsey

Connect with Lindsay

• IG (Coaching): @lindsayhite
• IG (Studio): @show.your.spark
• Web: showyourspark.com
• 
  
• If this episode helped you “see yourself,” share it with one friend who needs that mirror today.

Support the show

If you’ve been struggling with emotional codependency or want to learn how to establish a healthy balance of independence and vulnerability in relationships, join Kathy on this transformative journey. Be sure to subscribe to My Self-Care Sht* and leave a review!

Follow Kathy:

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LinkedIn

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Facebook

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X

Books on Amazon