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In this heartfelt and raw conversation, Doug and I explore the journey of self-discovery, breaking free from codependency, and the power of truly knowing yourself. Doug shares his story of how he spent most of his life letting others define him, until he had a profound awakening that led him to embrace self-love and ownership of his identity. We dive into the importance of personality assessments like the MBTI, the Enneagram, and even human design in helping us understand ourselves at a deeper level. We also touch on relationships—how codependency shows up in partnerships, and how true self-care isn’t about avoiding conflict, but embracing it with honesty and compassion. Doug’s evolution from people-pleasing to owning his boundaries and trusting his intuition in business and life is a powerful reminder of the transformative impact of self-love.

3 Key Takeaways:

1. Self-love begins with knowing yourself.
   Doug’s journey highlights that falling in love with yourself starts with understanding your personality, your strengths, and the way you process the world. The more you know, the more confidently you can make decisions aligned with who you truly are.
2. Codependency stems from letting others define you.
   Codependency often arises when we disconnect from our true selves and allow others' expectations to shape who we are. The path to healing begins with reclaiming your identity and trusting your own judgment.
3. True self-care involves tough conversations.
   True self-care isn’t always easy or comfortable. It’s about setting boundaries, engaging in difficult conversations, and honoring your needs, even when it means stepping into discomfort to protect your peace.

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If you’ve been struggling with emotional codependency or want to learn how to establish a healthy balance of independence and vulnerability in relationships, join Kathy on this transformative journey. Be sure to subscribe to My Self-Care Sht* and leave a review!

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Author and writer Abby Rosmarin takes us through the healing journey that led to her new book, The Year of Dating Myself: How My Solo Tour Healed More Than Just My Heartbreak. After years of jumping from relationship to relationship, Abby decided to break the cycle and take a year to rediscover herself—not through dating others, but by dating herself. In this conversation, Abby shares her raw experience of learning to be comfortable in her own company, setting boundaries, and letting go of old patterns. From solo concert dates to deep introspection, Abby walks us through how she learned to love herself first, and how that self-love set the stage for the best relationship of her life. This conversation is a powerful reminder that true self-care is about reconnecting with yourself, breaking old cycles, and embracing loneliness without fear.

3 Key Takeaways:

1. Breaking the Cycle of Codependency
   Abby's journey highlights the importance of breaking free from the cycle of seeking validation through relationships. By dating herself, she finally gave herself permission to be whole, independent, and enough.
2. The Power of Solo Adventures
   Taking solo dates—like attending a concert alone—was both uncomfortable and empowering for Abby. It’s about proving to yourself that you’re worthy of your own love and company, without needing anyone else to complete you.
3. Healing from Loneliness, Not Escaping It
   Embracing loneliness can be incredibly painful, but Abby shows us how leaning into this discomfort is crucial for growth. True self-love isn’t about avoiding loneliness, but about learning to sit with it and grow stronger because of it.

For books and more info: Abby Rosmarin

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If you’ve been struggling with emotional codependency or want to learn how to establish a healthy balance of independence and vulnerability in relationships, join Kathy on this transformative journey. Be sure to subscribe to My Self-Care Sht* and leave a review!

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Retired U.S. Army officer and mental performance/leadership coach Andy Riise (NFL Chicago Bears, University professor, Speaker) breaks down self-care as mental fitness—the inside-out training that lets athletes, leaders, parents, and teams perform under pressure. Andy shares his “mental mechanic” approach, the Survive → Cope → Thrive bridge model, and a simple daily check-in (1–10) to “fight to the right.” We talk stress, confidence, burnout, performance anxiety, and why aiming for a solid C game on bad days beats chasing perfection. This conversation reframes self-care as both personal discipline and a team sport—maintenance, not emergency repair.

3 Key Takeaways:

1. Train your mind like your body.
   Psychological skills (energy & stress management, reframing, confidence, focus) are the decisive edge—especially when you don’t have your A game.
2. Use the bridge + daily check-in.
   Rate 1–3 (surviving), 4–7 (coping), 8–10 (thriving). Ask: Where am I? Why? What’s one action to move right today? How can someone help? Consistency > perfection.
3. Self-care is a team sport.
   Don’t wait for the “check-engine” light. Normalize support and vulnerability (especially for men). Remember: 70% done well is winning—show up, then squeeze the juice from what you’ve got.

Links to learn more and contact Coach Andy Riise.

Support the show

If you’ve been struggling with emotional codependency or want to learn how to establish a healthy balance of independence and vulnerability in relationships, join Kathy on this transformative journey. Be sure to subscribe to My Self-Care Sht* and leave a review!

Follow Kathy:

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