In today’s episode, I sit down with Gabby — a 35-year-old mother of four, who has walked through trauma most people can’t even imagine. From losing her husband in a shocking arrest, to battling substance use, to navigating the emotional wreckage of CPS and custody loss — Gabby’s story is not just about survival, it’s about showing up raw and real even when the world refuses to see your humanity.

This episode is not easy. But it’s necessary.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re too broken to be loved, too exhausted to keep fighting, or too complicated to explain — Gabby’s story is here to remind you: you’re not alone, and your story isn't over.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

#BPDWarrior,#MentalHealthMatters,#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder,#HealingOutLoud

#TraumaSurvivor,#YouAreNotAlone,#UnmaskingBPD,#RawAndReal,#PodcastForHealing

#BreakTheStigma,#MentalHealthPodcast,#RecoveryIsPossible,#MotherhoodAndMentalHealth

#CPTSDRecovery,#SelfCompassionJourney,#IStillStand,#ShowMeGrace

Episode Summary:

Total Runtime: ~43 min

0:00–1:30 – Opening & Trigger Warning

1:31–3:00 – Meet Gabby

3:01–6:00 – Trauma Origins

6:01–10:00 – The Day Everything Collapsed

10:01–14:00 – Seeking Help, Being Punished

14:01–17:30 – Messages to Her Younger Self

17:31–21:00 – Parenting & Grandparents

21:01–24:30 – BPD Mythbusting

24:31–28:30 – Love, Triggers & Relationships

28:31–32:30 – Therapy & Memory Loss

32:31–35:30 – Future Self Letter

35:31–38:30 – Society’s Stigma vs. Personal Truth

38:31–41:12 – Closing Thoughts & Contact

41:13–43:24 – Outro & Crisis Resources

Episode Resources:

• Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/
• Connect with the Host: Nicole Darby: presspause4grace@gmail.comCredits:Host and Podcast Producer: Nicole DarbyMusic Producer of Podcast’s Intro Music: DJtheIIISound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

“I’m Not a Monster – I’m a Human with BPD”

What if the thing you’ve been taught to hide could become your source of healing?

In this raw and unfiltered episode, we sit down with a BPD warrior, Alice Hyoung, who gets real about the shame, chaos, and stigma that come with living with borderline personality disorder—and how she's reclaiming her life one radical act of self-ownership at a time. From surviving emotional extremes to discovering Internal Family Systems therapy, she shares how she went from daily despair to powerful, purpose-filled healing.

If you’ve ever felt broken, misunderstood, or exhausted from trying to explain yourself to the world… this one is for you.

1. Intro + BPD Stigma & Shame 🕒 00:00:00 – 00:01:25

2. Guest’s Story: Discipline vs. Mental Health Struggles 🕒 00:01:25 – 00:04:44

3. Radical Acceptance, Accountability, & Anger Ownership 🕒 00:04:44 – 00:06:02

4. Do the One Thing: Small Steps Toward Healing 🕒 00:06:02 – 00:06:44

5. Cultural Stigma, Language, & Media Representation 🕒 00:06:44 – 00:11:41

6. IFS (Internal Family Systems) Therapy Explained 🕒 00:11:41 – 00:20:45

7. Therapist Fit, Accessibility & Coaching Models 🕒 00:20:45 – 00:26:12

8. Family, Partners & Top 3 Wishes for Better Support 🕒 00:26:12 – 00:32:32

9. Boundaries, Peace Protectors & Relationship Dynamics 🕒 00:32:32 – 00:38:12

10. Surrender, Compassionate Detachment & Alan Watts 🕒 00:38:12 – 00:41:14

11. Future-Self Reflection: Creating from Pain 🕒 00:41:14 – 00:45:10

12. Final Thoughts: Ownership, Shame, & Permission to Create 🕒 00:45:10 – 00:50:57

13. Guest Contact Info + Community Resources 🕒 00:50:57 – 00:54:30

14. Outro + BPD Mantra 🕒 00:54:30 – 00:57:47

Episode Resources:

• Press Pause, Inc.’s Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/

o Free & low-cost BPD resources and support, including career coaching

• Crisis Hotline - Call or Text 988 or Chat At 988lifeline.org

Credits:

Host and Podcast Producer: Nicole presspause4grace@gmail.com

Music Producer: DJtheIII

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Support The Show:

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1w8Al9kFeNskbt8COjJifi?si=b83e472252bd4175

Pandora:https://pandora.app.link/aidOtuflGJb

Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/c5a7d061-0a9a-42d8-a264-f28364ebc40d/i-can't-even-kill-myself-right

iHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-i-cant-even-kill-myself-ri-174364401

If you’ve ever felt trapped by the invisible expectation to “save everyone” — even when you’re falling apart inside — this episode was made for you.

Today, we welcome the amazing Coach Cassie C. James Weathersby, founder of Black Women Do Heal, for a soul-stirring, truth-telling conversation about the real cost of living like a superhero. Together, we dive deep into why exhaustion is not a badge of honor, why setting Peace Protectors (aka boundaries) is critical, and why resting is a human right, not a weakness.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Guest: Cassandra C. James-Weathersby

Website: BlackWomenDoHeal.org

0:00–1:25 | Welcome + Trigger Warning

1:25–2:39 | Meet Our Superhero: Coach Cassie C. James Weathersby

2:39–8:50 | The Superhero Complex Explained

8:50–13:08 | The Cost of Wearing the Cape

13:08–16:45 | Why The Superhero Model Fails

16:45–23:07 | First Steps: Removing the Cape

23:07–28:07 | You Are Human, Not Superhuman

28:07–36:09 | Boundaries Reframed: “Peace Protectors”

36:09–43:38 | Permission to Rest

43:38–49:57 | Lessons from Hospice Care: Prioritize Living Fully

49:57–54:25 | Healing Events & Black Women Do Heal Initiatives

54:25–1:03:02 | Real Talk: Entrepreneurship, Social Media, and Letting Go

1:03:02–1:07:10 | Closing + Final Mic Drop Moments

Alice Hyoung, who shares her deeply personal journey through trauma, loneliness, medication, and identity healing. From childhood dissociation to sacred rage, Alice unpacks what it means to live with borderline personality disorder and still find joy, purpose, and peace. This episode dives into spiritual shifts, medication without shame, the power of safe spaces, and the radical truth that you are not your diagnosis. If you’ve ever felt unseen, unhealed, or misunderstood—this episode will remind you that your story isn’t over.

#BPDWarrior #MentalHealthMatters #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #SacredAnger #HealingJourney #TraumaRecovery #MentalHealthPodcast #ShowMeGrace

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Here is the episode breakdown:

Guest:

• Alice

Main Topics & Time Stamps

🔹 00:00:00–00:01:30 | Opening & Trigger Warning

🔹 00:01:35–00:04:10 | Meet Alice Yang

🔹 00:04:10–00:06:30 | Mental Health Check-In & Daily Intentions

🔹 00:06:30–00:10:00 | Childhood Experiences & Internalized Shame

🔹 00:10:00–00:13:00 | Unexpressed Anger & Internalization

🔹 00:13:00–00:15:00 | Rage Rooms & Releasing Anger Safely

🔹 00:15:00–00:17:50 | Therapy Barriers for People with BPD

🔹 00:17:50–00:20:05 | The Power of Compassionate Presence

🔹 00:20:05–00:24:50 | Letter to 8-Year-Old Self & Religious Trauma

🔹 00:24:50–00:30:00 | Medication, Shame & Breakthroughs

🔹 00:30:00–00:32:47 | Workbook & Anger as Sacred

🔹 00:32:47–00:41:00 | Healing Is Wholeness, Not a Destination

🔹 00:41:00–00:45:00 | Remission vs. Recovery + Final Thoughts

🔹 00:45:00–00:48:36 | Closing Messages & Resources

Websites:

showmegrace.org

BPD resources and crisis support

careercafe.info/migsmello

Get your copy of Migs Mello book - the Emotional Learning Friend every kid and grown up kid should have!

careercafe.info/soulletter

Sign up for weekly letters that lift your soul

Episode Twenty-Two:

In today’s episode, we’re joined by Lauren Rosier, a passionate advocate and writer who opens up about her journey living with borderline personality disorder — from early signs in childhood to the life-saving role of DBT, music, and meaningful friendships.

This conversation is raw, validating, and filled with the kind of insights you don’t hear enough about. So whether you're in the middle of your own storm or standing beside someone who is, you’ll find connection and hope right here.

Let’s dive in.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Here is the episode breakdown:

Guest:

• Lauren

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/laurenxlee1

Email: lerosier@gmail.com

Podcast Episode Outline:

00:00:44 – Podcast introduction: 'I Can’t Even Kill Myself Right'

00:01:30 – Guest intro: Lauren shares her background and diagnosis

00:02:30 – Lauren discusses current projects (memoir and BPD resource book)

00:03:38 – Lauren's motivation for sharing her story – friendship with Tony

00:05:11 – First signs of being ‘different’ in childhood – obsessive crush

00:08:03 – Reflections on adolescence – introversion, lack of diagnosis

00:09:59 – Deeper discussion on introversion – innate or protective

00:12:15 – Advice Lauren would give to her 8-year-old self

00:13:23 – Using music and playlists for emotional regulation

00:16:30 – The role of sports and teamwork in recovery

00:19:27 – Importance of outlets for managing BPD symptoms

00:22:10 – What Lauren wishes loved ones understood about BPD

00:25:59 – Advice to 88-year-old self: radical acceptance and growth

00:32:14 – Final message: DBT is key, medication alone isn’t enough

00:33:14 – How to contact Lauren

00:34:10 – Closing mantra + mental health reminder

00:35:03 – Encouragement to stay connected and submit stories

Episode Resources:

• Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/

• Crisis Hotline - Call or Text 988 or Chat At 988lifeline.org

Credits:

Host, Producer & Research: Nicole Darbypresspause4grace@gmail.com

Music Producer of Podcast’s Intro Music: DJtheIII

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Tune in to part 3 of a most riveting and raw interview with a woman of color and BPD Warrior. From crisis action plans to disability battles, and the quiet heroism of choosing to stay alive one day at a time—this episode goes beyond surface-level mental health talk. You’ll hear about the healing power of deep house music, the bittersweet joy of love with BPD, and the fire it takes to fight for your life while the world tells you you're “too much” and the healthcare system says you’re “not enough” to be disabled?

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Podcast Episode Breakdown: "I Can’t Even Kill Myself Right"

00:00–01:07 Intro

01:07–01:30 Trigger Warning & Resources:

01:30–03:02 Art as a Lifeline:

03:02–04:23 Loss of Creative Outlets:

04:23–05:54 Support System & Love:

05:54–07:03 Misplaced Blame & Accountability:

07:03–08:27 In-the-Moment Struggles:

08:27–09:57 Hopelessness & Survival Fears:

09:57–11:53 Reframing Self-Worth:

11:53–12:35 Summary of Key Lessons:

12:35–14:18 Shame & Blame:

14:18–16:47 Disability as a Lens:

16:47–18:16 Applying for Disability:

18:16–20:01 Systemic Challenges:

20:01–22:02 Being "Too Much":

22:02–23:31 Trauma Roots of BPD

23:31–25:31 Survival & Resilience: .

25:31–26:54 Vision Boards & Healing Rituals:

26:54–28:45 The Power of Choice:

28:45–30:40 Misguided Crisis Responses:

30:40–32:21 Judgment vs. Compassion:

32:21–34:54 Staying Anonymous & Promoting BPD Melanin:

34:54–35:59 Wrap-Up & Affirmations:

35:59–36:43 Outro

Credits:

Press Pause, Inc. website: www.showmegrace.org

Host and Podcast Producer: Nicole presspause4grace@gmail.com

Music Producer: DJtheIII

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

What does it really feel like to live with Borderline Personality Disorder—especially as a Black woman in a world that doesn’t always see you, hear you, or believe you?

In this second part of this raw and unfiltered episode, we go deep into the inner world of a BPD warrior. From hyper-intuition and emotional whiplash in relationships, to the aching loneliness of being unseen in mental health spaces, this conversation is brutally honest, unexpectedly funny, and deeply human.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Here is the episode breakdown:

Guest:

• A BPD Warrior - A Woman of Color

In this episode, you will hear:

• 00:00:00 – 00:01:20 Opening Message & Trigger Warning

(Beginning of Interview)

•00:01:30 – 00:04:00 Hyper-intuition and Emotional Triggers

00:04:00 – 00:06:10 Validation of Intuition

00:06:20 – 00:09:20 BPD and the Intersectionality of Race

00:09:20 – 00:11:00 Relationship Challenges & Internal Conflict

00:11:00 – 00:13:00 Lighter Moment – Pet Cameo

00:13:00 – 00:14:30 Viola Davis Quote & 8-Year-Old Self

00:14:30 – 00:19:30 Creative Outlets as Healing Tools

00:19:30 – 00:21:19 Closing Encouragement & Resources

Episode Resources:

• Press Pause, Inc.’s Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/

o Free & low-cost BPD resources and support, including career coaching

• Crisis Hotline - Call or Text 988 or Chat At 988lifeline.org

Credits:

Host and Podcast Producer: Nicole presspause4grace@gmail.com

Music Producer: DJtheIII

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Episode Seven

In this deeply honest and unexpectedly hilarious episode, a courageous (and anonymous) Black woman shares her lived experience with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). From feeling “too much” as a teen to navigating abandonment in therapy, she holds nothing back—and proves that being emotionally intense doesn’t make you broken, it makes you powerful.

We explore early signs, misdiagnoses, codependency, attachment, impulsive coping, and the deep empathy that often gets overlooked in people with BPD. Oh—and we laugh a LOT along the way.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Here is the episode breakdown:

Guest:

• Connect with her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bpdmelanin/

Episode Topic Timeline (Approximate)

• 00:00 – 01:00 — Opening statement about the fear and stigma of BPD; introduction and trigger warning
• 01:00 – 03:00 — What it’s like to feel “different” from a young age
• 04:00 – 06:30 — Emotional intensity and being told "you're too sensitive"
• 06:45 – 08:30 — Diagnosis story: Being diagnosed at 22 and the rarity of early recognition
• 08:30 – 10:30 — Misdiagnoses, PTSD, and feeling like “too much” for therapists
• 10:30 – 12:30 — Abandonment by a therapist and the emotional fallout
• 12:30 – 15:00 — Discussion on broken mental health systems and trying to trust again
• 15:00 – 18:30 — Coping mechanisms: impulsivity, codependency, fear of rejection
• 18:30 – 21:30 — Romantic attachment patterns, rage episodes, and self-awareness
• 21:30 – 24:00 — Hypersexuality, emotional regulation, and what's misunderstood in BPD
• 24:00 – 27:00 — Reclaiming BPD as a superpower: deep empathy, intuition, and resilience
• 27:00 – 29:00 — Affirmation mantra + invitation to visit showmegrace.org for support

Episode Resources:

• Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/
  • Career Coaching: https://www.showmegrace.org/about-3

• Crisis Hotline - Call or Text 988 or Chat At 988lifeline.org

Connect with the Host:

Nicole Darby: presspause4grace@gmail.com

Credits:

Host and Podcast Producer: Nicole Darby

Music Producer of Podcast’s Intro Music: DJtheIII

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Research Team: Nicole Darby