After your child’s diagnosis, the emotional landscape can feel like a storm—grief, relief, anger, love, fear, and hope crashing into each other with no roadmap in sight. In this episode, Kirsten dives into the messy, human experience of holding multiple truths at once: loving your child deeply while grieving the life you imagined, finding answers yet still feeling lost.

We explore why these emotions often feel so contradictory, how the process of matrescence can magnify them, and how to begin making space for your feelings without guilt or shame. With insights from experts like Dr. Sophie Brock, Dr. Alexandra Sacks, Dr. Mona Delahooke, and Brené Brown, this episode offers both reflection and reassurance for parents navigating life after a diagnosis.

Whether you're newly processing or years into the journey, this one is a hand on your back and a reminder: you’re not broken—you’re becoming.

When your child is diagnosed, everything changes — not just the routines, the paperwork, the appointments — but you.

In this episode, I open up about my son’s regression, the grief of losing the motherhood I imagined, and the quiet unraveling of my own identity. We explore what it means to become not just a parent, but also a carer, advocate, and emotional anchor… all while trying to remember who you are at your core.

We talk:

• Ambiguous loss and why it matters

• The emotional toll of being “the strong one”

• Real-life moments of overwhelm (yes, this week’s calendar nearly broke me!)

• How to begin reclaiming your sense of self — even if it’s just one small thread at a time

If you’ve ever whispered “Who am I now?” in the dark… this episode is for you.

✨ Listen, reflect, and remember: you are not alone in this.

When public figures make harmful claims about autism, the impact ripples far beyond headlines. In this powerful episode, matrescence coach and mother of a neurodivergent child, Kirsten Killoran, responds to recent comments by RFK Jr. with clarity, compassion, and fire.

This episode explores:

• The real emotional toll of blame-based narratives on parents

• Why pathologising neurodivergence is more harmful than helpful

• What research and experts actually say about what supports families

• A deeply personal story of internalised stigma — and healing

• A hopeful vision for what truly inclusive care could look like

Whether you’re a parent, professional, or simply someone who wants to better understand the lived experience behind the labels, this episode is a call to think deeper, speak kinder, and act better.

🧡 You are not alone. You are not broken. And your child is not a tragedy.

Welcome to the very first episode of Fi(ND)ing Motherhood—a podcast for mothers navigating the unexpected, unspoken, and often unseen transformation that comes with raising a neurodivergent or disabled child.

In this intimate solo episode, I (Kirsten—a matrescence coach, and SEN mum) open up about the moment everything changed: receiving my son’s diagnosis on a Zoom call during the height of the COVID lockdown. From that point on, motherhood no longer looked or felt like what I had imagined—and I began a journey not just of parenting, but of rediscovering myself.

Together, we explore:

• What matrescence really means and why it doesn’t stop after birth

• How diagnosis reshapes identity, grief, and expectations of motherhood

• The weight of the ‘perfect mother myth’—and why it’s time to lay it down

• A powerful moment with a friend that reminded me we don’t need to apologise for our children—or for ourselves

• How to begin giving yourself permission to evolve, soften, and reclaim who you are beyond the role of caregiver

This episode is gentle, reflective, and grounding—woven with journal prompts, moments to pause, and the truth that you are not alone. If you’ve ever felt unseen in the “typical” motherhood stories, this space was made for you.

✨ Grab a cup of tea, take a deep breath, and come sit with me. You don’t have to have it all figured out. You’re allowed to be a work in progress.