n this deeply personal episode, I share the story I’ve never fully told—from the lowest point of my life to the mission that’s now giving me purpose. I open up about my divorce, quitting weed after 25 years, depression, suicidal thoughts, turning 40 alone, and what it was really like rebuilding my life from the ground up. I talk about the unexpected challenges of early sobriety, why I believe community is essential for healing, and how those painful experiences inspired me to create Coming Back Online. I also share why I’ve started a free Zoom recovery community and why I’ve decided to offer one-on-one accountability based on my lived experience. If you’re struggling with anxiety, addiction, emotional numbness, or you’re trying to rediscover who you are after years of escaping, I hope this conversation reminds you that healing is possible, purpose can be found in pain, and you don’t have to go through it alone. In this deeply personal episode, I share the story I’ve never fully told—from the lowest point of my life to the mission that’s now giving me purpose. I open up about my divorce, quitting weed after 25 years, depression, suicidal thoughts, turning 40 alone, and what it was really like rebuilding my life from the ground up. I talk about the unexpected challenges of early sobriety, why I believe community is essential for healing, and how those painful experiences inspired me to create Coming Back Online. I also share why I’ve started a free Zoom recovery community and why I’ve decided to offer one-on-one accountability based on my lived experience. If you’re struggling with anxiety, addiction, emotional numbness, or you’re trying to rediscover who you are after years of escaping, I hope this conversation reminds you that healing is possible, purpose can be found in pain, and you don’t have to go through it alone.

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Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility.

I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.

Talking honestly about what happened when I finally quit smoking weed after 26 years.

Nobody prepared me for the grief. Not just grieving the plant itself, but grieving the version of me that believed I needed it to get through life. I smoked because I was hurting, because I was escaping, because it became my comfort. Over time, that comfort turned into emotional, physical, and financial dependence.

For years I believed I couldn’t live without weed. Today, I’m 9 months sober, and I can finally see that addiction was convincing me of something that wasn’t true.

I also talk about how different weed is today—far more potent than what many of us grew up with—and why I believe long-term heavy use played a much bigger role in my anxiety, depression, and mental health than I ever wanted to admit.

CHS and my divorce became the wake-up calls I never asked for, but they also became the catalyst that changed my life. Sometimes the hardest seasons force us to become the person we’ve been avoiding.

Getting sober didn’t magically fix everything. When you close the door on addiction, you’re still left with a mess to clean up. The difference is you’ve finally stopped creating more of the mess. Now you can actually begin healing, one day at a time.

If you’re trying to quit smoking weed or wondering if life gets better on the other side, I hope this conversation reminds you that you’re not alone. Be your own best friend through recovery. Healing takes time, but it is possible.

#QuitWeed #QuittingWeed #WeedRecovery #Sobriety #CHS #MentalHealth #AddictionRecovery #ComingBackOnline #CannabisRecovery #SelfHealing #PersonalGrowth #RecoveryJourney

Support the show

Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility.

I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.

For years, I thought I was trying to escape stress, anxiety, boredom, and pain.

What I eventually realized was that I was trying to escape myself.

In this episode of Coming Back Online, I talk about what happened after quitting weed, why recovery was never just about substances, and what it means to slowly rebuild trust in yourself after years of numbing, distracting, and disconnecting.

We talk about identity, dopamine, emotional avoidance, midlife reinvention, and the surprising truth that freedom isn’t about escaping your life — it’s about no longer needing to escape yourself.

If you’re struggling with dependence, emotional numbness, or feeling disconnected from who you are, I hope this conversation reminds you that coming back online is possible.

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Coming Back Online is a podcast about sobriety, nervous system healing, emotional honesty, and reconnecting with yourself after years of surviving on autopilot.

Follow along:
Instagram: @comingbackonline

Support the show

Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility.

I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.

In this episode, we’re talking about one of the most powerful shifts you can make in your life — learning to focus on what you can actually control. We live in a world full of noise, unpredictability, and other people’s behavior, and most of it is completely out of our hands. But how you take care of your mind, your body, and your habits? That’s yours.
I get personal in this one — talking about my journey quitting weed, going through a divorce, building Coming Back Online from scratch, and how some of the hardest, most painful chapters of my life ended up being the greatest catalysts for change. From CBT group therapy to tango dancing, I share what’s waiting for you on the other side of the struggle — if you’re willing to take the first step.
No judgment here. Just honesty, real talk, and a reminder that we are all works in progress.
🎙️ Topics covered:
•The law of impermanence and why control is an illusion — mostly
•Recognizing what’s actually running your life
•How to turn negative energy into fuel for growth
•Addiction, all-or-nothing thinking, and self-awareness
•Why quitting weed opened doors I never expected
•The ripple effect of one person’s change on an entire community

Support the show

Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility.

I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.

In this episode, I’m responding directly to comments and messages from people going through all kinds of struggles—grief, divorce, depression, feeling stuck, feeling empty, and wondering what’s missing in their lives.

We talk about the importance of listening to your body, paying attention to the signals your life is giving you, and being honest about what’s helping you and what’s holding you back.

I also share my thoughts on weed and recovery. If cannabis still serves you, isn’t causing problems, and helps you get through difficult times, that’s your choice. But if you’re questioning your relationship with it, feeling stuck, disconnected, anxious, or simply wondering what life might look like without it, this conversation may resonate with you.

This isn’t about judgment. It’s about curiosity, self-awareness, and learning to trust yourself enough to make changes when something no longer feels aligned.

If you’ve been feeling like something needs to change but you can’t quite put your finger on what it is, this episode is for you.

Support the show

Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility.

I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.

In this episode, I’m answering some questions and messages I’ve been getting on social media about sobriety, healing, and what actually helped me quit smoking weed after struggling with it for a long time.

I talk about some of the things that helped me personally, but also why recovery isn’t the same for everybody. What works for one person might not work for someone else. A big part of the process is finding new things that help you grow, heal, and reconnect with yourself again.

It’s not easy. Some days are harder than others. But if you stay strong and keep moving forward, little by little you start feeling more like yourself again. More emotionally grounded. More in control of your reactions, impulses, and cravings. More present in your own life.

For me, sobriety has also brought a deeper sense of spiritual awareness and connection to a higher version of myself. This episode is just an honest conversation about the process of coming back online and learning how to live fully again.

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Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility.

I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.

This is the first video episode of Coming Back Online — a podcast about long-term weed use, dependence, sobriety, mental clarity, and trying to reconnect with yourself after years of feeling disconnected.

In this episode, I open up about what originally got me started smoking weed, how it slowly became part of my identity and everyday life, and the complicated relationship I developed with it over the years. I talk about the comfort, escape, creativity, routines, and emotional coping tied into long-term use — but also the stagnation, disconnection, anxiety, and feeling that something inside me slowly started fading.

This podcast isn’t about judgment, perfection, or pretending to have all the answers. It’s an honest exploration of addiction, habits, mental health, dopamine, identity, and what it means to navigate sobriety in a world where a lot of people quietly struggle with the same things.

Also — this is my first video podcast, so bear with me while I figure out the lighting, editing, sound, camera setup, and everything that comes with building this from scratch. I wanted to start before everything was perfect because I know there are people out there who need honest conversations more than polished ones.

If you’ve ever felt stuck, emotionally numb, dependent on something to get through life, or like you’ve slowly lost connection with yourself… you’re not alone.

Welcome to Coming Back Online.

Support the show

Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility.

I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.

This episode is honestly just me talking.

No heavy editing.
No perfect structure.
Just a real conversation about my history with weed, dependency, creativity, comfort, escape, and the role it played in my life for a long time.

I grew up around it.
A lot of my friends smoked.
It became part of hard times, good times, relationships, routines… life.

But I also started dealing with serious stomach issues and episodes that sent me to the ER multiple times. I was never officially diagnosed with CHS, but once I stopped smoking, those episodes went away completely.

I’m not here to judge anyone or tell people what to do.

I just think if you’ve been dealing with unexplained stomach issues, anxiety, nausea, physical symptoms, or weird health problems while smoking heavily — especially with how potent and mass-produced weed has become today — it might be worth experimenting with taking a break and really listening to your body.

This one’s messy and unfiltered.
Even Kiki makes a few appearances in the background.

But maybe that’s what makes it honest.

Support the show

Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility.

I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.