n this deeply personal episode, I share the story I’ve never fully told—from the lowest point of my life to the mission that’s now giving me purpose. I open up about my divorce, quitting weed after 25 years, depression, suicidal thoughts, turning 40 alone, and what it was really like rebuilding my life from the ground up. I talk about the unexpected challenges of early sobriety, why I believe community is essential for healing, and how those painful experiences inspired me to create Coming Back Online. I also share why I’ve started a free Zoom recovery community and why I’ve decided to offer one-on-one accountability based on my lived experience. If you’re struggling with anxiety, addiction, emotional numbness, or you’re trying to rediscover who you are after years of escaping, I hope this conversation reminds you that healing is possible, purpose can be found in pain, and you don’t have to go through it alone. In this deeply personal episode, I share the story I’ve never fully told—from the lowest point of my life to the mission that’s now giving me purpose. I open up about my divorce, quitting weed after 25 years, depression, suicidal thoughts, turning 40 alone, and what it was really like rebuilding my life from the ground up. I talk about the unexpected challenges of early sobriety, why I believe community is essential for healing, and how those painful experiences inspired me to create Coming Back Online. I also share why I’ve started a free Zoom recovery community and why I’ve decided to offer one-on-one accountability based on my lived experience. If you’re struggling with anxiety, addiction, emotional numbness, or you’re trying to rediscover who you are after years of escaping, I hope this conversation reminds you that healing is possible, purpose can be found in pain, and you don’t have to go through it alone.

Support the show

Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility.

I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.

Talking honestly about what happened when I finally quit smoking weed after 26 years.

Nobody prepared me for the grief. Not just grieving the plant itself, but grieving the version of me that believed I needed it to get through life. I smoked because I was hurting, because I was escaping, because it became my comfort. Over time, that comfort turned into emotional, physical, and financial dependence.

For years I believed I couldn’t live without weed. Today, I’m 9 months sober, and I can finally see that addiction was convincing me of something that wasn’t true.

I also talk about how different weed is today—far more potent than what many of us grew up with—and why I believe long-term heavy use played a much bigger role in my anxiety, depression, and mental health than I ever wanted to admit.

CHS and my divorce became the wake-up calls I never asked for, but they also became the catalyst that changed my life. Sometimes the hardest seasons force us to become the person we’ve been avoiding.

Getting sober didn’t magically fix everything. When you close the door on addiction, you’re still left with a mess to clean up. The difference is you’ve finally stopped creating more of the mess. Now you can actually begin healing, one day at a time.

If you’re trying to quit smoking weed or wondering if life gets better on the other side, I hope this conversation reminds you that you’re not alone. Be your own best friend through recovery. Healing takes time, but it is possible.

#QuitWeed #QuittingWeed #WeedRecovery #Sobriety #CHS #MentalHealth #AddictionRecovery #ComingBackOnline #CannabisRecovery #SelfHealing #PersonalGrowth #RecoveryJourney

Support the show

Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility.

I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.

For years, I thought I was trying to escape stress, anxiety, boredom, and pain.

What I eventually realized was that I was trying to escape myself.

In this episode of Coming Back Online, I talk about what happened after quitting weed, why recovery was never just about substances, and what it means to slowly rebuild trust in yourself after years of numbing, distracting, and disconnecting.

We talk about identity, dopamine, emotional avoidance, midlife reinvention, and the surprising truth that freedom isn’t about escaping your life — it’s about no longer needing to escape yourself.

If you’re struggling with dependence, emotional numbness, or feeling disconnected from who you are, I hope this conversation reminds you that coming back online is possible.

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Coming Back Online is a podcast about sobriety, nervous system healing, emotional honesty, and reconnecting with yourself after years of surviving on autopilot.

Follow along:
Instagram: @comingbackonline

Support the show

Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility.

I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.