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  • How to Break the Brain Loop That Keeps You Obsessed With Understanding Them

    How to Break the Brain Loop That Keeps You Obsessed With Understanding Them
    2025/10/09
    Still replaying every convo, text, or mind game—trying to make sense of the narcissist? In this 5-minute reset, Christy Jade shows you how to break the brain loop that keeps you obsessed with understanding them and finally reclaim your peace. Learn how trauma trains your mind to overanalyze—and the simple somatic shift that ends the cycle for good. 💖 Work With Christy ✨ Ready for real-time transformation? Step into your power with Christy 1:1. Her 3-Month Transformational Coaching + Somatic Healing package helps you regulate your nervous system, rebuild self-trust, and feel safe in your own skin again. 👉 https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 🎁 Fun Queen Resources 💌 Join the Free Private Facebook Community — connect with other Queens rebuilding after narcissistic abuse. 👉 https://www.facebook.com/groups/narcissisticabuserecoverypodcast 👑 Grab Your Free Boundaries Pocket Guide — learn how to say nope without guilt. 👉 https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 💬 Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts — ready-made boundary phrases that protect your peace. 👉 https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Speaker 1 (00:03): Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath Queen. This one's for you. All right, take a deep breath today, queen. Happy Thursday. This thrive in five is for the woman who cannot stop replaying all the conversations, the manipulations, every, why did he do that? Why is he doing that? Whether it's your past or current situation that you are having to deal with a narcissist. Maybe you're, maybe it's a family member, maybe it's your boss, but understanding the narcissist will not bring you peace, and we think it will, right? We try to understand to relieve something in us, but your brain keeps dragging you back, even though deep down you probably know, you'll never fully understand and comprehend a narcissist because they don't make sense in the same way we do. (01:18) They don't think the same way we do. They're not healthy people. So let's shift that today. So here's the thing, your brain is not broken. It's doing what it was actually trained to do, to analyze danger, to stay safe by being in the situations. So when you lived in a narcissistic environment, you became a detective. You were constantly decoding, tone, expression, hidden meanings. Are you shaking your head yet? Because your survival basically depended on it. So now that you're free, your brain doesn't realize it can stop working overtime. That's the loop. The body's addiction to this vigilance disguised as logic. It's not logic, it's vigilance. It's over vigilance, right? So let's get to today's practice. It's a calming quick one, and we are going to calm that beautiful brain of yours that deserves every piece. So wherever you are, gently place one hand on your heart and one on your belly. You're going to inhale through your nose for 4, 3, 2, 1. Hold for one, two, and exhale, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Now you can repeat after me. I am safe. (03:17) I don't need to understand them to be free. How's that feel? So as you exhale, imagine the thoughts spinning in your head, melting down into your body and out through your feet. So we're going to inhale, 1, 2, 3, hold it. And as you exhale, imagine those thoughts that just whine and whine melting down your body and out your feet. Let your body carry what your mind can't. So if you want to repeat that a couple times, you can always pause this. Do it as many times as you need to, and each time, remind yourself, I choose peace over answers. (04:24) You get to choose, and it might seem hard, but every time you do this, you get closer. Every time you do anything somatic, you really get closer to it so you don't heal by finding new information about them. That's what we think. You heal by giving your nervous system proof that the danger is over. I'm going to say that again. You heal by giving your nervous system proof that this danger is over. And I know everyone's situation is different, but most of you are on the other side getting out of the situation. You've left your co-parenting or you're not living with the person every day like you once were. That could be a parent, a sibling, an ex, right? So this is really for you that knowing you are out of imminent danger and you need your nervous system to come on board with that. So every time you redirect from analyzing them to soothing yourself, you're rewiring your brain for peace. And that is the power they never want you to have, right? (05:56) Ugh. It would just kill them to know you're at peace. They want you all up in the chaos with them. They want the control of your peace. They want to hold your peace and never let you have it. And we're not here for that. Are we Queens? No. So if you're ready to learn the deeper somatic tools, this is just the tiny tip, right?...
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    10 分
  • Still Trying to Understand the Narcissist? Here’s Why It’s Stealing Your Peace

    Still Trying to Understand the Narcissist? Here’s Why It’s Stealing Your Peace
    2025/10/07

    If you’re still trying to understand the narcissist, this episode is your wake-up call. Christy Jade breaks down why searching for answers keeps you stuck in their cycle—and what to do instead to finally reclaim your peace, power, and clarity.

    👑 Work with Christy:

    If you’re ready to stop walking on eggshells and start healing for real, my 3-Month Transformational Coaching & Somatic Healing Program will help you rebuild self-trust, regulate your nervous system, and rise into your power again. 👉 Learn more or apply here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/

    💞 Resources for Your Healing:

    💌 Boundaries Pocket Guide — Learn to say “no” without guilt & protect your peace. https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250

    🎧 Join the Facebook Community — Connect with women healing after narcissistic abuse. https://www.facebook.com/groups/narcissisticabuserecoverycommunity

    📜 Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts — Know exactly what to say to keep your boundaries strong. VIP PRICING FOR LISTENERS!

    https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-fast-37/
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    12 分
  • Try This If You’ve Been Praying but Still Feel Unsafe

    Try This If You’ve Been Praying but Still Feel Unsafe
    2025/10/02

    You’ve prayed. You’ve trusted. But your body still doesn’t feel safe.

    In this 5-minute pause, Christy guides you through a gentle moment to reconnect with God’s peace — not just think about it.

    👉 Ready to rebuild your peace for good? Inside my 3-Month Transformation Journey, we’ll rewire your nervous system, restore your faith in yourself, and help you finally feel calm and confident again. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/

    💎 WHAT YOU’LL LEARN

    ✅ Why your body can still feel unsafe even when your faith is strong ✅ A gentle way to feel God’s peace again (not just think about it) ✅ How to begin healing your nervous system after trauma

    💖 FREE TOOLS & COMMUNITY

    ✨ Boundaries Pocket Guide — say no without guilt! https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250

    👑 Join the Facebook Community — connect with women healing after narcissistic abuse https://www.facebook.com/groups/narcissisticabuserecovery
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    7 分
  • Does the Bible Say You Should Stay With an Abuser? The Truth About Leaving Toxic Relationships (and What God Really Wants for You)

    Does the Bible Say You Should Stay With an Abuser? The Truth About Leaving Toxic Relationships (and What God Really Wants for You)
    2025/09/30

    Have you ever been told “God hates divorce,” “pray harder,” or “be patient” — even when your spirit knew something was wrong?

    In this powerful, truth-filled episode, Christy unpacks what the Bible actually says about abusers and leaving toxic relationships, exposing the spiritual manipulation that keeps women stuck in pain. You’ll discover God’s heart for the oppressed, why He never calls you to stay in harm, and how to step into peace — not guilt.

    This is your reminder that God’s truth brings freedom, not fear.

    💎 WHAT YOU’LL LEARN

    ✅ What Scripture actually teaches about abuse, oppression, and justice ✅ Why forgiveness doesn’t mean staying in harm’s way ✅ How God’s character and Word support your peace and safety ✅ The biblical truth that sets you free from guilt and confusion

    💖 LINKS & RESOURCES 🎁 FREEBIES

    ✨ Boundaries Pocket Guide — protect your peace with simple, powerful scripts https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250

    👑 Join the Facebook Community — connect with women healing after narcissistic abuse https://www.facebook.com/groups/narcissisticabuserecovery

    💫 COURSES & COACHING

    🎓 Empowered Boundaries Course — master confident, guilt-free boundaries https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/

    🌿 Reclaiming You 1:1 Session (90 min) — personalized clarity, nervous system reset, and next-step plan https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/

    👑 Monthly Peace Coaching — ongoing somatic + spiritual support to rebuild self-trust https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/
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    16 分
  • One Daily Shift to Stop a Narcissist From Draining Your Energy

    One Daily Shift to Stop a Narcissist From Draining Your Energy
    2025/09/25
    One Daily Shift to Stop a Narcissist From Draining Your Energy (Thrive in 5) On Tuesday, we unpacked why narcissists want you exhausted and how to take your power back. In today’s quick Thrive in 5, I’m giving you one super simple shift you can use daily to protect your energy and stop them from draining you. This takes less than five minutes but makes a huge difference in keeping your peace. 👑 Mic Drop: Every pause, every reset is proof that you’re reclaiming your power one moment at a time. ✨ LINKS & GOODIES ✨ 💖 Freebie: Grab your FREE Boundaries Pocket Guide → https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 👑 1:1 Coaching: Reclaiming You Sessions → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ 📌 Listener Faves: The Grey Rock Method: How to Deal with a Narcissist if You Cannot Go No Contact → https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-grey-rock-method-how-to-deal-with-a-narcissist/id1662241353?i=1000648879776 Co-Parenting With a Narcissist? Why ‘Staying Civil’ Might Be Destroying Your Peace → https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/co-parenting-with-a-narcissist-why-staying-civil-might/id1662241353?i=1000671183508 👑 Stay Connected: Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/christyjade Private Facebook Community → https://www.facebook.com/groups/1373765840008654/ TRANSCRIPTS Speaker 1 (00:01): Hello. Hello. So this is going to be a super quick episode with no real intro music because I was out tonight celebrating one of my friend's birthdays. Yay. Yay for birthdays. Alright, so Tuesday we talked about why narcissists want you exhausted and how to take your power back. Today I'm going to give you one super simple daily shift that can help you stop them from draining your energy and it takes less than five minutes. So it's perfect, perfect for tonight. Okay, so like I said, we dove in. How narcissists keep you running on empty, right? When you're depleted, you are easier to control, easier to manipulate, and less likely to fight back. But here's the good news, you don't have to play their game today. I want to give you one quick, powerful shift you can start using right away to keep that energy intact. (01:05) It is called a transition ritual. Here's how it works. Every time you feel yourself being pulled into their chaos could be a nasty text, an exhausting call, or even just remembering something they said. You pause, you step away and give yourself a reset ritual. So that could look like putting your phone in the drawer for five minutes, walking outside and maybe walking around if you have a cul-de-sac or just around the neighborhood and doing some intentional breathing, like that halo breathing I love. Or even just putting your hand on your heart and saying, my peace belongs to me, not them. So it sounds small, but it's actually big. Why? Because every time you interrupt this cycle, you're teaching your nervous system. I am safe, I am in charge, and I don't have to give my energy away. So here's the mic drop. Okay? Every pause, every reset is proof that you are reclaiming your power one moment at a time, right? So it seems like a small thing and maybe you won't remember every single time. So don't beat yourself up if you forget and you have a spin out, whatever. We're on a journey, okay? We're on a little healing, healing journey now. Alright? So try it this week. Choose your ritual. (03:00) I would suggest using one for now until you're in the real habit of it, and then you can switch them out, rotate them, but pick the one or maybe try 'em all out. See which works best for you. You can do your own version of one of these too, and notice how much more energy and clarity you hold onto. And if you haven't listened yet, go back to Tuesday's full episode where I unpack why the narcissists thrive on your exhaustion and how you can actually step into your power. So I know I have a little lack of energy tonight. I am very tired. It is very late, but I still wanted to get you just a quick episode. At least I know a lot of you love these. Thrive in fives and that's about it as you know the drill. If you want to work one-on-one and have super transformative somatic healing journeys, that is epic work. (04:08) Go look in my show notes. I will link the ways you can work in the one-on-one there. There's also My Empowered Boundaries course, which is it's just Chef's Kiss, okay? If you want to learn how to set boundaries, how to maintain boundaries, all the conversations, how to not feel guilty, the energy around them, all of that good stuff, it is a 10 module course and it is my baby. So go check out my baby or one-on-one work and I've got a couple freebies always listed in there. So definitely go check out the show notes and don't forget to hit follow on my podcast on the main page to make sure you do not miss an episode. Alright, love you. See you later. Queens.
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    5 分
  • Why Narcissists Want You Exhausted (and How to Take Your Power Back Before It’s Too Late)

    Why Narcissists Want You Exhausted (and How to Take Your Power Back Before It’s Too Late)
    2025/09/23

    Ever feel like dealing with a narcissist leaves you totally drained — like you’ve just run an emotional marathon? That’s not random.

    In this episode, I reveal why narcissists actually want you exhausted and how to finally reclaim your energy, peace, and power before it’s too late.

    💡 Here’s what you’ll learn today:

    • Why exhaustion is the narcissist’s #1 control tactic

    • How chaos cycles, sleep sabotage, and guilt-tripping keep you stuck

    • The simple 3-step process to take your power back and protect your peace

    If you’re healing after narcissistic abuse and tired of feeling depleted, this episode will give you the tools to stop the cycle and rise back into your power.

    👑 Ready for more support? 👉 Grab my free Boundaries Pocket Guide: https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250

    👉 Explore the Empowered Boundaries Course: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/

    👉 Book a 1:1 Reclaiming You Session: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/
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    11 分
  • 3 Boundary Traps Narcissists Use in Co-Parenting—And How to Outsmart Them Every Time

    3 Boundary Traps Narcissists Use in Co-Parenting—And How to Outsmart Them Every Time
    2025/09/18
    Short Description Narcissistic co-parents are masters at twisting boundaries—but you don’t have to fall for their traps. In this Thrive in 5, I break down 3 sneaky tactics they use and exactly how to outsmart them so you can protect your peace and power. 👑✨ 💻 Courses & Coaching 👑 Empowered Boundaries Course → https://www.facebook.com/groups/narcissisticabuserecoveryforwomen 🎁 Free Boundaries Pocket Guide → https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 🎤 Subscribe to the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast → https://www.podbean.com/podcast-detail/f7vsi-208d1a/Narcissistic-Abuse-Recovery-Podcast 🎧 Related Podcast Episode 🪨 The Grey Rock Method: How to Deal with a Narcissist if You Cannot Go No Contact https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-grey-rock-method-how-to-deal-with-a-narcissist/id1662241353?i=1000648879776 TRANSCRIPTS Speaker 1 (00:03): Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath Queen. This one's for you. Today we are breaking down the three biggest boundary traps that narcissists use in co-parenting. They are sneaky little ways. They try to keep you off balance, steal your peace and rope you into their chaos. No thank you. So here's the best part. I'm not just going to tell you what the traps are. I'm going to give you the exact tools to outsmart them every single time. Queen Edge. Alright, so the first is the infamous guilt trip. You're probably familiar with that, right? They'll say things like, if you really cared about the kids, you'd switch weekends or you're being so selfish by not helping me out. And what is their goal to make you feel like a bad mom or a bad co-parent? (01:09) Bad parent, period. Unless you cave, right? They're trying to get whatever fits into what benefits them. So how do you outsmart it? First you stick to the plan and then literally repeat the boundary without defending it. Remember this part without defending it? So that could look like, nope, we're going to stick to the parenting schedule and then pause. Zip it. Do not explain. Okay? We have a tendency when we are people pleasers or empaths or don't want to be misunderstood. That was a big trigger for me just in my life being misunderstood. So over explaining can make us feel like maybe we'll be understood or just giving reasons, right? Don't explain, don't argue, don't get emotional. None of those things are going to help, okay? You want to outsmart them. Remember that the silence is actually the strength, okay? Remember, silence is strength. Silence is strength. (02:18) Don't take the bait. Okay? So number two, the endless negotiator, okay, you say no and they immediately push back. Well what about just this one time? Or well if we switch next week instead, or what if I pick them up later instead of earlier? What if all the different things to try to get their way somehow and getting their way equals what? Control. That's what they're trying to get. We're not going to give it to 'em, okay? They keep changing the terms to wear you down. So this is actually calculated, manipulative. When they're doing this. They figure if they can drag you into the back and forth, they then already have your energy. They're already gaining the power over you. So how do we outsmart it? Again, don't take the bait. My favorite phrase of life, restate once, then disengage. So it's very similar. So something like, no, we'll be sticking to the plan. (03:27) If they keep pushing, don't respond. I would maybe say it twice. If they have a first negotiation party coming out of their mouth, say, Nope, we'll be sticking to the plan. Nope, we'll be sticking the plan and then don't respond. Or maybe on the third time you say, I've already answered and move on your time, energy and sanity are what is not up for negotiation. And if you let them repeatedly suck you into where you're responding over and over and over, they are gaining that power and feeling like they're getting you closer and closer to giving them what they want. And they probably are half the time, okay? So don't get sucked in. Alright? So trap three, the victim act, okay? They'll say something like, you're making my life harder or You're the reason I can't see my kids as much as I want. They play the poor me card to twist the narrative and put you back in caretaker mode. (04:44) They know at this point that you have a big heart. They know that. Know your soft spots, they know your buttons so they know even more specifically what they can say in these situations to get you to feel sorry for them. So how do you outsmart this? Don't step into the role they are assigning you. Okay? I want you to hear that one. Don't step into the role they are assigning you. It's not your role, baby. Okay? It ain't your role. It doesn't look good on you anymore. Nope, we're moving on. So a simple firm statement like I'm not responsible for your feelings. We're ...
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    15 分
  • Are You Making THIS Boundary Mistake? Why It’s Wrecking Your Peace (and How to Fix It Fast)

    Are You Making THIS Boundary Mistake? Why It’s Wrecking Your Peace (and How to Fix It Fast)
    2025/09/16
    Ever set a boundary only to cave, over-explain, or feel guilty? You’re not alone, queen. In this episode, I break down the #1 boundary mistake women make after narcissistic abuse — and give you a 3-step fix to finally protect your peace. Because girl, you look good in peace. ✨👑 ✨ Links & Resources for Your Royal Glow-Up: 👑 Copy.Paste.Peace Scripts (special listener price!) → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copypeacepastescripts/ 🌸 Enroll in the Empowered Boundaries Course → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ 💖 Apply for 1:1 Coaching with Christy → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ 🌺 Join the Free Facebook Support Group → https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 ✨ Stay Connected: 🎧 Follow the show so you never miss a new episode! 📲 Share this episode with a fellow queen who needs boundary confidence today. -----TRANSCRIPT------ Speaker 1 (00:00): Have you ever set a boundary only to cave in, feel guilty or overexplain yourself? If that is you, queen, this episode is your wake up call. I'm going to break down the number one boundary mistake women make after narcissistic abuse and how to fix it so you can finally protect your piece. Because girl, you look good in peace. Did anyone ever tell you that? All right, stay close. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom, and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. (00:59) Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself. Again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. Alright, welcome back to the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast. Now, I know you've probably tried setting boundaries before, maybe rehearsed what to say, but if you're second guessing, caving or walking away actually feeling worse instead of stronger, you are not alone. And here's the truth. It's not because weak or broken. It's because most of us we're taught boundaries the wrong way. So today I'm going to reveal the number one mistake I see over and over and give you a little three step fix that you can use right away. (02:00) How's that sound? Good? Alright. So first of all, the number one boundary mistake that's costing your peace is this treating boundaries like a one time announcement instead of a daily practice in kind of a way of life. So here's what happens. You finally build the courage to say, no, I can't do that, or I won't do that, or I need some space, right? You feel empowered until the other person pushes back, right? Maybe they get angry, maybe they guilt trip you. I can get a what? I've been through that one. Maybe they act confused or pretend they don't hear you, and suddenly it all kicks it up, right? The guilt comes in, doubt creeps in. You're asking, wait, am I being too harsh? Am I wrong for needing this? Maybe I should just let it go. And before you know it, you have caved or over explained or have said, okay, just this once, right? (03:06) One more chance, one more. You sound familiar though. It's okay if it does. Don't beat yourself up. You're not failing a boundaries, okay? You're just stuck in the trap of seeing them as a single moment instead of this living practice that you hold every day. So how do you fix this? How do you move from the wobbly guilt ridden boundaries to the ones that actually protect your piece? So here's my little three step quick fix. Number one, decide before you declare. Don't rush into announcing a boundary because you feel the pressure to, or you're having an empowered big moment. Don't go on an emotional announcement. You want to first get crystal clear with yourself. (04:01) Ask, what do I actually need here? What behavior am I no longer willing to accept? So ask yourself those two things. Maybe you want to pause and even write these questions down. What do I actually need here in this situation? What behavior am I no longer willing to accept? And that could be in this situation, that could be just in general with this person or with anybody. If you're trying to set boundaries all across the board, maybe you have not just your ex co-parenting with, but you realize you have a lot of friends that are controlling too. What are you no longer going to accept from everybody? Right? This could be specific or broader. So when you're solid inside and you have that clarity, you'll project ...
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    18 分