Communication patterns can make or break relationships, and understanding the destructive "Four Horsemen" identified by relationship expert John Gottman can help you build healthier connections after divorce. Being able to recognize these patterns in yourself gives you the power to change your communication style for all future relationships.

Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—these patterns create a cascade of disconnection that, once established, become increasingly difficult to break. In this episode I walk you through each destructive pattern and how to recognize when you're falling into these traps. Rather than approaching this knowledge with self-judgment, I invite you to view your communication habits through the lens of curiosity, opening the door to genuine transformation.

Whether you're co-parenting with your ex, building new friendships, navigating workplace dynamics, or considering future romantic relationships, these communication insights will serve you well. By supporting yourself first and creating space for intentional communication, you can break free from destructive patterns and build the authentic connections you deserve.

To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here.

If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts.

For more information and full show notes go to:
https://www.karinnelsoncoaching.com/post/ep216

We've all been there—those moments during divorce when our minds spiral with thoughts that feel absolutely true: "I wasn't good enough," "I've ruined my children's lives," or "I'll never recover from this." But what if these certainties are simply stories your brain has constructed, not objective facts?

In this episode, I reveal how the thoughts dominating your divorce experience have been shaped by forces largely outside your control—biology, family conditioning, and societal expectations. Your brain, constantly seeking patterns and explanations, often manufactures meaning that aligns with these influences rather than reflecting reality.

When I faced my own divorce, society told me it would devastate my children and destroy my future. Instead of accepting this narrative, I consciously chose to define divorce differently—as growth, new beginnings, and ultimately a path to greater happiness. Years later, that decision has proven transformative not just for me, but for my entire family.

The power lies in recognizing that when we're stressed and emotionally overwhelmed, our primitive brain hijacks our reasoning abilities. Through a simple 3-5 minute writing practice I teach my clients, you can learn to distinguish between objective facts and subjective interpretations. This distinction creates space for choice—the choice to interpret your divorce and future differently.

This isn't about toxic positivity or ignoring genuine feelings. It's about recognizing that most thoughts causing your suffering aren't unassailable truths but interpretations you can question and replace. When you separate fact from story, you reclaim your power to chart your own course through divorce and beyond.

Ready to stop believing everything your brain tells you about your divorce? Try the practice outlined in this episode, or schedule a free 30-minute call with me to experience how liberating it feels to distinguish between what's happening and what it means.

To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here.

If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts.

For more information and full show notes go to:
https://www.karinnelsoncoaching.com/post/ep215

Ever notice how fear seems to drive every decision during divorce? That gnawing feeling in your stomach that whispers you're ruining everything—your future, your children's lives, your finances—even when you know leaving is the right choice. This invisible force keeps you frozen, making decisions from a place of survival rather than authentic wisdom.

What if there was another way? What if you could acknowledge your fear without letting it control your choices?

When our nervous system remains in a constant state of high alert during divorce, we operate from our primitive brain, interpreting change as a threat to survival. This "functional freeze" makes us appear put-together on the outside while we're drowning inside, unable to access our deeper wisdom. The result? A life guided by fear rather than intention.

The secret lies in reconnecting with your intuition—that quiet voice within that knows exactly what you need, even when everyone else has an opinion. Courage isn't making fearless decisions; it's feeling terrified and moving forward anyway, trusting that inner compass to guide you home.

Self-trust develops through practicing self-compassion, getting curious about who you are at your core, and accepting all parts of yourself. When your brain, body, and intuition align, you physically feel the difference between decisions that are right for you and those that aren't. This knowing creates a foundation of peace that exists alongside fear rather than being consumed by it.

Ready to stop letting fear drive your life? Book your free 30-minute consultation today and learn how to reconnect with your intuition during divorce. Your deepest wisdom is waiting—you just need to remember how to listen. To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here.

If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts.

For more information and full show notes go to:
https://www.karinnelsoncoaching.com/post/ep214

The power to feel emotionally safe, even when life feels uncertain, might be the greatest gift you can give yourself after divorce. But our brains make this challenging in ways you might not realize.

Have you ever wondered why leaving an unhappy marriage feels so terrifying, even when you know it's the right choice? The answer lies in how your brain processes certainty versus uncertainty. Your amygdala—the primitive part of your brain responsible for survival—doesn't distinguish between physical threats and emotional ones. When divorce disrupts your predictable patterns, your brain interprets this uncertainty as danger, triggering fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses that can leave you feeling constantly anxious, overwhelmed, or stuck.

What's fascinating is how we can mistake familiarity for safety. Even in disconnected or toxic relationships, the predictability creates a false sense of security. Your brain says: "I know what to expect here, therefore I'm safe"—even when you're deeply unfulfilled.

The transformative truth? Uncertainty itself isn't dangerous. We live with it constantly! The key is learning to create emotional safety for yourself without requiring external certainty. In this episode you’ll learn the first steps to dismantle false safety mechanisms and build true emotional security.

If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts.

To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here.

For more information and full show notes go to:
https://www.karinnelsoncoaching.com/post/ep213

Feeling powerless in your divorce? That's exactly when you need this simple yet profound somatic practice for reclaiming ownership of your body and presence.

During the most challenging times of divorce, we often feel like everything's spiraling beyond our control – legal proceedings, relationship dynamics, and major life transitions can leave us disconnected from our own sense of agency. But what if there was a practice so simple you could do it anywhere to remind yourself of what you DO control?

This episode teaches a powerful bodily ownership exercise that anchors you in the present moment. Through deliberate touch and verbal affirmation, you'll learn to create an immediate shift in your nervous system and reconnect with your physical presence. I guide you through each step – from shaking out tension to orienting yourself in your environment to methodically reclaiming ownership of your entire body.

As we move through the practice together, I share why present-moment awareness is the only genuine pathway to healing. Your healing doesn't happen when you're worrying about future what-ifs or replaying past mistakes – it happens right now, in this moment, when you choose to reconnect with yourself and remember your inherent wholeness.

Whether you're feeling overwhelmed by divorce proceedings, struggling with co-parenting challenges, or simply needing to ground yourself during emotional turbulence, this practice offers an immediate pathway back to yourself. Try it whenever you need that reminder: in this moment, you are safe, and your body is your own.

If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts.

To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here.

For more information and full show notes go to:
https://www.karinnelsoncoaching.com/post/ep212

"When will my life feel normal again after divorce?" It's a question that haunts many of us during this profound transition. The discomfort of changed routines, financial shifts, and parenting adjustments feels deeply unsettling. But there's a fascinating biological reason behind this distress.

Your brain's primitive amygdala interprets these changes as potential threats to survival, triggering fight-flight-freeze responses that actually reduce your cognitive function. First, regulate; second, question. The powerful opportunity within divorce lies in intentionally designing your life rather than returning to old patterns.

I'll cover:

• Divorce creates feelings of abnormality that trigger our brain's survival response
• The amygdala interprets discomfort as danger.
• When the amygdala is activated, our IQ drops 10-15 points
• Realigning your nervous system through grounding techniques helps restore logical thinking
• Question what "normal" means to you
• Deciding intentionally what you want your life to look like gives you power
• Consider whether you want to return to your old definition of normal or create something new
  
  

If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts.

To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here.

For more information and full show notes go to:
https://www.karinnelsoncoaching.com/post/ep211

Divorce throws your emotions into overdrive, with stress levels soaring as you navigate uncertainty and major life changes. But what if one powerful stress-reduction technique isn't about better coping mechanisms, but rather dismantling a fundamental belief most women carry?

The distinction between being "nice" and being "kind" holds transformative power for women going through divorce. I’m going to walk you through the societal conditioning that pressures women to be nice—putting everyone else's comfort before our own, staying silent to avoid rocking the boat, enduring unacceptable behavior to avoid being labeled difficult—actually increases our stress and disconnects us from our intuition when we need it most.

You’ll see how niceness keeps us small and stressed, while kindness—speaking our truth, setting boundaries, honoring our values—creates authentic connection and reduces anxiety.

You’ll learn:

• Divorce creates immense stress due to uncertainty, worry, and emotional overwhelm
• Women are conditioned in our patriarchal system to be nice over everything else
• Being nice means putting yourself last, forgetting yourself, and sometimes putting yourself in danger
• Nice behavior turns us into people-pleasers who don't advocate for our own needs
• Being kind means being honest, using your voice, and setting clear boundaries
• Kindness involves speaking up when things are uncomfortable or unacceptable
• Start with small steps to replace niceness with kindness in specific situations
• As you practice kindness over niceness, your stress levels will naturally decrease
• Building courage to be kind helps align your brain, body, and intuition
• This practice helps reconnect you to your wholeness and integrity after divorce

If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts.

To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here.

For more information and full show notes go to:
https://www.karinnelsoncoaching.com/post/ep210

Most women going through divorce don't realize they've been living in codependent relationships, desperately seeking external validation rather than trusting their inherent worth. In this transformative episode, I introduce you to a powerful reframing of codependence as "emotional outsourcing" as coined by Beatriz Victoria Albina - the habit of chronically seeking our sense of value from everyone and everything outside ourselves.

This pattern didn't emerge from nowhere. From girlhood, we're conditioned to believe our purpose is making others comfortable, prioritizing everyone else's needs, and feeling guilty when we put ourselves first. The devastating message? You're not complete until you fulfill your "duties" as a woman. This harmful programming creates the belief that you're somehow broken or unworthy - especially when your marriage ends.

Here's the liberating truth: We can replace emotional outsourcing with a deep, unshakable knowledge of our inherent worth. But contrary to what you might think, the goal isn't complete independence. True healing comes through interdependence - knowing your worth from within while maintaining meaningful connections where you give from abundance rather than obligation.

Ready to stop believing you're broken? Your journey to wholeness begins with recognizing your worth isn't determined by anyone else.

If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts.

To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here.

For more information and full show notes go to:
https://www.karinnelsoncoaching.com/post/ep209