Communication patterns can make or break relationships, and understanding the destructive "Four Horsemen" identified by relationship expert John Gottman can help you build healthier connections after divorce. Being able to recognize these patterns in yourself gives you the power to change your communication style for all future relationships.

Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—these patterns create a cascade of disconnection that, once established, become increasingly difficult to break. In this episode I walk you through each destructive pattern and how to recognize when you're falling into these traps. Rather than approaching this knowledge with self-judgment, I invite you to view your communication habits through the lens of curiosity, opening the door to genuine transformation.

Whether you're co-parenting with your ex, building new friendships, navigating workplace dynamics, or considering future romantic relationships, these communication insights will serve you well. By supporting yourself first and creating space for intentional communication, you can break free from destructive patterns and build the authentic connections you deserve.

To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here.

If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts.

For more information and full show notes go to:
https://www.karinnelsoncoaching.com/post/ep216

We've all been there—those moments during divorce when our minds spiral with thoughts that feel absolutely true: "I wasn't good enough," "I've ruined my children's lives," or "I'll never recover from this." But what if these certainties are simply stories your brain has constructed, not objective facts?

In this episode, I reveal how the thoughts dominating your divorce experience have been shaped by forces largely outside your control—biology, family conditioning, and societal expectations. Your brain, constantly seeking patterns and explanations, often manufactures meaning that aligns with these influences rather than reflecting reality.

When I faced my own divorce, society told me it would devastate my children and destroy my future. Instead of accepting this narrative, I consciously chose to define divorce differently—as growth, new beginnings, and ultimately a path to greater happiness. Years later, that decision has proven transformative not just for me, but for my entire family.

The power lies in recognizing that when we're stressed and emotionally overwhelmed, our primitive brain hijacks our reasoning abilities. Through a simple 3-5 minute writing practice I teach my clients, you can learn to distinguish between objective facts and subjective interpretations. This distinction creates space for choice—the choice to interpret your divorce and future differently.

This isn't about toxic positivity or ignoring genuine feelings. It's about recognizing that most thoughts causing your suffering aren't unassailable truths but interpretations you can question and replace. When you separate fact from story, you reclaim your power to chart your own course through divorce and beyond.

Ready to stop believing everything your brain tells you about your divorce? Try the practice outlined in this episode, or schedule a free 30-minute call with me to experience how liberating it feels to distinguish between what's happening and what it means.

To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here.

If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts.

For more information and full show notes go to:
https://www.karinnelsoncoaching.com/post/ep215

Ever notice how fear seems to drive every decision during divorce? That gnawing feeling in your stomach that whispers you're ruining everything—your future, your children's lives, your finances—even when you know leaving is the right choice. This invisible force keeps you frozen, making decisions from a place of survival rather than authentic wisdom.

What if there was another way? What if you could acknowledge your fear without letting it control your choices?

When our nervous system remains in a constant state of high alert during divorce, we operate from our primitive brain, interpreting change as a threat to survival. This "functional freeze" makes us appear put-together on the outside while we're drowning inside, unable to access our deeper wisdom. The result? A life guided by fear rather than intention.

The secret lies in reconnecting with your intuition—that quiet voice within that knows exactly what you need, even when everyone else has an opinion. Courage isn't making fearless decisions; it's feeling terrified and moving forward anyway, trusting that inner compass to guide you home.

Self-trust develops through practicing self-compassion, getting curious about who you are at your core, and accepting all parts of yourself. When your brain, body, and intuition align, you physically feel the difference between decisions that are right for you and those that aren't. This knowing creates a foundation of peace that exists alongside fear rather than being consumed by it.

Ready to stop letting fear drive your life? Book your free 30-minute consultation today and learn how to reconnect with your intuition during divorce. Your deepest wisdom is waiting—you just need to remember how to listen. To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here.

If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts.

For more information and full show notes go to:
https://www.karinnelsoncoaching.com/post/ep214