We explore the concept of "African Trauma Syndrome" – the unique psychological and emotional challenges experienced by children across African cultures shaped by cultural expectations and social norms. Ayo, a young Gen Z voice, joins the conversation to share authentic perspectives on how certain parenting practices impact trust and emotional wellbeing.

• Common scenarios like the "put it on my head" directive that creates confusion when taken literally by children
• Parentification – where older siblings bear disproportionate responsibility for household duties and younger siblings
• How promises of "no punishment for honesty" followed by scolding creates lasting trust issues
• Academic expectations that focus on shortcomings rather than celebrating achievements
• Cultural practices like finding stew inside ice cream containers creating expectations that things aren't what they seem
• Boundaries with strangers and the pressure to engage with unknown adults due to cultural respect norms
• The importance of acknowledging children's efforts before providing constructive feedback
• Creating balance between cultural traditions and emotional wellbeing

If you're struggling with any issues discussed in this episode, please visit www.asebconsultancy.com where you can book a free 15-minute consultation with one of our counselors. Please like, share, and subscribe to help drive visibility to this platform.

Send us a text

Support the show

Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/abiessonia

Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/p/Cm8aAtpN2BN/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Have you ever caught yourself doubting a product simply because it was made by a Black person? Or feeling the need to change your accent, name, or appearance to "fit in" with non-Black spaces? These seemingly small behaviors reveal a deeper issue Post-Traumatic Slavery Syndrome.

This powerful episode unpacks how slavery's legacy continues to affect our self-perception, creating patterns of self-doubt, fear, and cultural shame that many of us don't even recognize. Through personal stories and thoughtful analysis, we explore how this syndrome manifests in everyday life from avoiding Black-owned businesses to hiding natural hair, from code-switching in white spaces to bleaching our skin to appear lighter.

The journey toward healing begins with awareness. By examining our beliefs and challenging the notion that proximity to whiteness equals success or acceptance, we can start breaking these mental chains. This isn't just about personal liberation it's about creating a world where our children can fully embrace their identity without apology.

Whether you're struggling with these issues yourself or want to better understand them, this episode offers practical steps toward reclaiming cultural pride and authentic self-expression. From embracing African prints to celebrating your natural features, from supporting Black businesses to speaking your native language, every act of cultural celebration is an act of resistance against centuries of conditioning.

Your melanin is beautiful. Your accent is valuable. Your heritage is something to celebrate, not hide. Join us on this journey toward authentic living and help end Post-Traumatic Slavery Syndrome with our generation. Subscribe, share, and leave a comment about your own experiences with cultural identity and self-acceptance.

Send us a text

Support the show

Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/abiessonia

Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/p/Cm8aAtpN2BN/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

What makes someone become violent toward their intimate partner? What invisible chains keep victims trapped in abusive relationships? And how do we heal not just ourselves, but our children from the lasting trauma of domestic violence?

Dr. Blessy Ntamu, a distinguished psychologist with over two decades of expertise in stress management and gender-based violence prevention, peels back the layers of this complex issue with remarkable clarity and compassion. She confronts the uncomfortable truth that while men can be victims, women bear the disproportionate burden of gender-based violence, suffering at rates approaching 97%.

The conversation challenges common misconceptions that enable abuse, particularly those rooted in cultural and religious traditions. Dr. Ntamu firmly debunks the notion that marriage confers ownership rights over another person: "You cannot buy a human. It is against the laws of the land anywhere that I know." She explains how psychological abuse, though invisible to others, often leaves deeper scars than physical violence, making validation and recovery even more challenging.

Perhaps most powerful is her examination of the tactics abusers use to maintain control isolation from support networks, financial dependency, and manipulation of religious concepts like "submission." For those trapped in these situations, Dr. Ntamu offers practical guidance on rebuilding connections and financial independence. "Any man saying you should not work is a huge red flag," she warns, explaining how abusers deliberately create economic dependency.

The discussion also addresses the devastating impact on children "the grass that suffers when elephants fight" and the importance of supporting their mental health alongside adult survivors. Dr. Ntamu emphasizes that seeking help shows strength, not weakness: "It is okay not to be okay."

Whether you're personally experiencing abuse, supporting someone who is, or simply want to understand this pervasive issue more deeply, this episode provides invaluable insights on recognizing, escaping, and healing from relationship violence. Subscribe now and join our community committed to authentic thriving through mental and emotional wellbeing.

Send us a text

Support the show

Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/abiessonia

Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/p/Cm8aAtpN2BN/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

The soul-crushing weight of religious manipulation often goes unnoticed until you're drowning in it. After receiving a heartfelt message from a listener trapped in a controlling prayer group, I felt compelled to explore how seemingly benign spiritual communities can become psychological cages.

This listener's experience in the UK revealed a troubling pattern—she joined a prayer group seeking connection in a new country, only to find herself unable to prioritize her crying child over prayer meetings for fear of rejection. Her story isn't about physical kidnapping or isolation, but rather a subtle emotional manipulation that separated her from her authentic self and family through fear and control.

Religious manipulation thrives when we're most vulnerable—during grief, after relocation, or amid major life transitions. Our brains, overwhelmed by uncertainty, become susceptible to those promising safety, meaning, and purpose. The manipulator doesn't need physical chains when fear of rejection and spiritual shame work just as effectively.

The Bible repeatedly warns against false prophets and fear-based faith. As 2 Timothy 1:7 reminds us, "God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and self-control." True spiritual leadership, as modeled by Jesus, never operates through control, exploitation, or isolation. Any religious environment making you fearful of being your authentic self contradicts divine love at its core.

Watch for these warning signs: leaders demanding unquestioning loyalty, creating fear about missing meetings, favoring wealthy members, isolating you from family, avoiding accountability, or using scripture selectively to control rather than liberate. Your spiritual journey should enhance your family relationships, not damage them.

Building your personal relationship with God through scripture meditation, journaling, worship, and prayer provides protection against manipulation. When you know God directly, you're less vulnerable to those claiming to speak on God's behalf while serving their own agenda.

Have you experienced religious manipulation? I invite you to share your story or questions at info@asebconsultancy.com. Remember, authentic faith always liberates—it never imprisons.

Send us a text

Support the show

Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/abiessonia

Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/p/Cm8aAtpN2BN/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Samantha Lubanzu shares her extraordinary journey of waiting 10 years for children before going on to have seven, including a miraculous twin pregnancy predicted by her three-year-old daughter. Her story demonstrates how maintaining faith, pursuing other goals, and celebrating others during difficult waiting seasons can lead to unexpected blessings.

• Career and business coach specialising in DEI who helps women of colour reach senior roles
• Pursued education, career advancement, travel and personal goals during her 10-year waiting season
• Made conscious decision to celebrate others' pregnancies and babies while waiting for her own
• First child conceived through IVF after complete surrender to God's will
• Three-year-old daughter accurately predicted twin pregnancy despite medical professionals saying one twin wasn't viable
• Balances motherhood of seven children with successful career through strict boundaries
• Practises intentional self-care through monthly "self-love in a jar" activities
• Faced racism and sexism in corporate world before creating career acceleration programs
• Emphasises hearing God's voice through different channels - audibly, through dreams, impressions, or other people

Visit wwwasebconsultancycom to book a free 15-minute consultation with a counsellor if any topics from this episode resonated with you or triggered something you'd like support with. Subscribe, like, share and comment to help drive visibility to this platform.

Links to Samantha resources

Discover the proven formula to unlock your next career breakthrough by watching this free Career Breakthrough Formula Masterclass

https://samanthalubanzu.kartra.com/page/rdM243

Grab Samantha Lubanzu's best selling Profitable and Inclusive LinkedIn Mastery book Here

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0D2RS144S?ref=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_BJH47M91EPVFBZR2VY7C&ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_BJH47M91EPVFBZR2VY7C&social_share=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_BJH47M91EPVFBZR2VY7C&kuid=31734206-02ba-40b0-9d44-71549b7228c3-1755205924&lid=33&kref=0gmhnpe6Dq9c

Send us a text

Support the show

Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/abiessonia

Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/p/Cm8aAtpN2BN/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Lupus presents unique challenges across different healthcare systems, with financial barriers in Nigeria contrasting sharply with workplace stigma issues in the UK. This powerful conversation reveals the physical, emotional and social impacts of living with an invisible illness.

• Lupus mimics other conditions with symptoms including sunlight sensitivity, joint pain, hair loss and the characteristic butterfly rash
• Different types of lupus exist, including discoid lupus, systemic lupus, and forms affecting children
• Diagnosis in Nigeria can cost upwards of 400,000 naira with severe shortage of rheumatologists
• Workplace accommodations in the UK like hybrid working and flexible schedules can make significant difference
• Invisible nature of lupus leads to harmful misconceptions with people often hearing "you don't look sick"
• Cultural and religious attitudes create additional barriers to seeking proper treatment
• Family support plays crucial role in managing lupus, with relatives' understanding significantly impacting wellbeing
• Finding joy through activities like dancing, photography, and laughter helps with mental resilience
• Mindset and acceptance of the condition allows adaptation and finding new ways to contribute despite limitations

If you're struggling with lupus or another chronic condition, connect with support communities like Mebuvi Lupus Foundation in Nigeria or Lupus UK. Visit www.asebconsultancy.com for mental health support or to book a free 15-minute consultation.

For more information about Lupus Foundation, use th link below

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/mablevilupusfoundation/profilecard/?igsh=dmc1aTB3MjVwM2dm

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/share/1AcjXzGHQW/?mibextid=wwXIfr

X

https://x.com/mablevilupusng?s=21&t=Pwbj1gOwdmXpGOHNGw4IVw

Linkedin

https://www.linkedin.com/in/mablevi-lupus-foundation-4b7408365?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app

Send us a text

Support the show

Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/abiessonia

Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/p/Cm8aAtpN2BN/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Have you ever felt stuck in a seemingly endless waiting period? That uncomfortable space between what is and what could be can feel excruciating—whether you're waiting for medical results, career advancement, relationship milestones, or financial breakthroughs.

This deeply reflective episode explores the psychological and emotional impacts of life's waiting seasons and offers profound insights on transforming these periods from mere endurance tests into opportunities for authentic growth. I share my personal experiences with immigration documentation challenges and health scares, revealing how these waiting seasons initially triggered anxiety but ultimately became catalysts for developing emotional resilience.

When we face uncertainty, our bodies enter chronic stress states that can manifest as anxiety, insomnia, high blood pressure, and even physical pain. Many of us instinctively fight against these waiting periods, suppressing emotions or pretending everything is fine. Yet this resistance often prolongs suffering. The key isn't resistance but acceptance—not of the undesirable situation, but acknowledgment of where you are while actively seeking solutions.

Waiting seasons serve as powerful revelators, stripping away pretences and showing who truly stands with you when you have little to offer. They function as personal SWOT analyses, highlighting strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats in both your character and relationships. I offer practical tools for thriving through uncertainty: managing emotions through journaling and mantras, celebrating others' milestones rather than withdrawing from them, speaking openly about your situation, practicing gratitude, and surrounding yourself with uplifting people.

Ready to transform your perspective on life's waiting periods? Subscribe, share, and visit www.asebconsultancy.com to book a free consultation if you're struggling with your current season of waiting. Remember—you're not just waiting for change to happen to you; you're being changed through the waiting.

Send us a text

Support the show

Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/abiessonia

Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/p/Cm8aAtpN2BN/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

What happens when your own body becomes your enemy? In this powerful conversation, therapist and PhD researcher IJ Asike shares her extraordinary journey living with lupus - an autoimmune disease where the body's defense systems attack its own tissues and organs.

From unexplained childhood illnesses to finally receiving a diagnosis at age 26, IJ reveals the physical and emotional toll of navigating a condition that can affect everything from her joints to her kidneys, creating unpredictable limitations that transform daily life. "Sometimes I wake up feeling fine, but by 10am, I'm at 15% battery," she explains.

Beyond the medical aspects, IJ offers profound wisdom about the psychological and spiritual dimensions of chronic illness. She shares her process of pain, acceptance, adaptation, and growth - challenging common misconceptions about what acceptance means. "Acceptance isn't giving up faith," she insists. "It's a point you arrive at that allows you to adapt and see new possibilities." This perspective transformed her experience from one where "life stopped" to discovering unexpected purpose through her condition.

The conversation explores how faith, medical support, family connections, and finding meaning beyond illness create the foundation for flourishing despite physical limitations. IJ's research examines the crucial question: what factors determine whether someone with chronic illness merely survives or genuinely thrives?

For anyone navigating chronic illness, supporting a loved one with health challenges, or simply seeking inspiration for life's unexpected difficulties, IJ's story demonstrates how adversity can become a pathway to deeper authenticity. As she poignantly puts it: "My healing is not the absence of lupus - my healing is having the support I need to live meaningfully with it."

Join us for this transformative discussion about finding strength, purpose and authentic living when life doesn't follow your original plan. Share your own experiences or questions in the comments!

Send us a text

Support the show

Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/abiessonia

Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/p/Cm8aAtpN2BN/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==