Menopause is talked about like a punchline, a secret, or something to “just endure”, but the reality is far more complex and far more important for long term health. I’m joined by Dr Joyce Igwekwe BK, a medical doctor, lifestyle medicine practitioner, and certified menopause practitioner, to shine a clear light on what menopause actually is, how perimenopause can last two to ten years, and why so many women do not realise their symptoms are connected until they are already overwhelmed.

We get practical about the real world signs: broken sleep at 2am, fatigue, brain fog, mood swings, night sweats, palpitations, joint pain, abdominal weight gain, and the genitourinary symptoms that can quietly damage confidence and intimacy. Dr Joyce explains why diagnosis is often clinical rather than a single definitive test, especially if you are on contraception or a coil, and why women in Black and African communities can face longer and more severe symptoms alongside cultural pressure to stay silent.

We also go beyond symptom management into prevention. We talk heart health, hypertension risk, bone loss, osteoporosis, and why lifestyle medicine matters whether you choose hormone replacement therapy (HRT) or not. Dr Joyce breaks down the fear around HRT, what has changed with modern preparations, and why local vaginal oestrogen can be a game changer for vaginal dryness. We end with support that actually helps: bringing partners into the conversation, finding community, and treating self care as a daily practice, not a rare luxury.

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We name what makes a relationship toxic and why it feels so confusing when disrespect shows up as jokes, favours, or “normal” family pressure. We also share the practical steps we use to spot the pattern, rebuild self-worth, and set boundaries that protect your peace.

• toxic relationships defined as repeated patterns rather than one-off conflict
• signs of emotional blackmail, neglect, disrespect and feeling unsafe
• why fear of loneliness, childhood toxicity and people pleasing increase risk
• friendship red flags such as exclusion, name-calling framed as humour and being used financially
• how dream-killing comments and constant minimising erode confidence
• patterns like gossip, public humiliation, hot and cold behaviour and gaslighting
• practical next steps: honesty, self-compassion, self-work and consistent boundaries
• letting yourself grieve while reconnecting to who you are

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Silence can look like strength, but in pregnancy it can be a serious risk. We sit down with Olamide Shalanke, a nurse, midwife of 15+ years, and senior lecturer in the East Midlands, to talk about what she sees too often in UK maternity care: Black women and other ethnic minority women pushing through pain, fear, and emotional strain because they feel they have to be the “strong one”.

We unpack why pain is not just “discomfort” but clinical information that helps clinicians spot danger signs such as pre-eclampsia, blood clots, bleeding, or placental abruption. Olamide explains how communication changes outcomes, what it means to advocate for yourself in real time, and how to escalate if you feel unheard, including asking for the shift co-ordinator and using Martha’s Rule to request a second opinion when you feel unsafe. We also talk about birth plans: why the key conversations should happen around 34 to 36 weeks, how to think through place of birth and pain relief options, and why flexibility matters when labour does not follow the script.

The second half goes deep on perinatal mental health, from common warning signs like severe sleep loss and not eating, to more serious risks such as postnatal psychosis and maternal death linked to mental health. We cover support routes after traumatic birth, miscarriage, or bereavement, including hospital debriefs, specialist bereavement midwives, GP talking therapies and CBT, and occupational health for counselling and reasonable adjustments when returning to work. If you’ve ever felt pressure to cope quietly, this conversation gives you language, options, and permission to ask for help early.

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