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"Like shyte through the bull's anus, so are the days of our lives."

Warning! Dangerous Horrorscope!! Listen at Your Own Peril!!!

Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.

Winner of an Obie and a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize, and directed by Tony nominee Leigh Silverman, Yellow Face is as timely as ever, wrestling with issues of cultural appropriation, complicity, and artistic freedom. It’s brought to life in this audio-only revival by a stunning all-star cast (many playing themselves) led by Daniel Dae Kim.

First there was the insomnia. Then there were the support groups that helped him sleep. Then Marla Singer turned up, muscled in on ascending bowel cancer and ruined everything. Then he met Tyler Durden. Then came Fight Club. Fight Club is the psychological story of a man's descent into an...

In a renovated Gothic church on Long Island lives Jonathan Hemlock, an art professor and a world-renowned mountain climber who finances his black-market art collection by working as a freelance assassin. Now, Hemlock is being tricked into a hazardous assignment that involves an attempt to scale one of the most treacherous mountain peaks in the Swiss Alps: the Eiger. His target is one of his three fellow climbers. The problem is that the CII can't tell him which one.

When Milan Patel visits his parents at their family-run motel in Montana, he's expecting the usual drama. But shortly after he arrives, his father mysteriously dies in the motel pool. Now everyone's a suspect. What was meant to be a quick trip becomes Milan's worst nightmare, as he races to solve his father's murder while confronting the past he tried to leave behind.

New York Times Bestseller “Just because everything appears to be a mess doesn’t mean you have to be one. Mark Manson’s book is a call to arms for a better life and better world and could not be more needed right now.” — Ryan Holiday, bestselling author of The Obstacle is the Way and...

David Sedaris's beloved holiday collection is new again with six more pieces, including a never before published story. Along with such favoritesas the diaries of a Macy's elf and the annals of two very competitive families, are Sedaris's tales of tardy trick-or-treaters ("Us and Them"); the...

Now is not the time to start that fitness program! Instead, laugh along with humorist Dave Barry as he debunks, demotivates, and delights on the subject of fitness. Hear his inimitable views on exercise ("the best time would be the first thing after Easter, but not the one coming up"), weights ("big-time lifters have turned into 400-pound hairy sweaty shapeless grunting masses of tissue. And the men are even worse"), and much more.

"Monsieur Haneda était le supérieur de monsieur Omochi, qui était le supérieur de monsieur Saito, qui était le supérieur de mademoiselle Mori, qui était ma supérieure. Et moi, je n'étais la supérieure de personne. On pourrait dire les choses autrement. J'étais aux ordres de mademoiselle Mori, qui était aux ordres de monsieur Saito, et ainsi de suite, avec cette précision que les ordres pouvaient, en aval, sauter les échelons hiérarchiques. Donc, dans la compagnie Yumimoto, j'étais aux ordres de tout le monde."

Yes, George Carlin is here with more of what he did better than any other comic: uproarious observations, laser-targeted crankiness, linguistic legerdemain, and inspired weirdness. ("If the shoe fits, get another just like it." "When you sneeze, all the numbers in your head go up by one.") Napalm & Silly Putty is just what his fans have been waiting for—another generous helping of notions, nonsense, assertions, assumptions, mockery, merriment, silliness, sarcasm, and, to be sure, plenty of disturbing references and toxic alienation.

The Wombat Ultimatum describes a chaotic societal crisis following the kidnapping of the adverb “Softly” by marsupial revolutionaries. The main conflict pits the prophetic tobacconist and wombat leader Runciman, who champions “blunt grammar” and the rejection of all adverbs, against the spiritual cooks, Frank and Glen, who represent the esoteric faith of “Greasehood” and the necessity of nuance.

Thomas Mann's vivid, dramatic, and thought-provoking The Magic Mountain is firmly established as one of the classic epic novels of the twentieth century. Part surreal comedy, part grim tragedy, Mann's story depicts a decaying European society on the eve of the First World War.

A workhouse orphan, Oliver experiences the terror and brutality of the criminal underworld. His companions, a thief, a whore, a pickpocket, and a fence, are destined for gruesome ends, but Oliver emerges unscathed from the darkness of the underworld.

“A propulsive, madcap story” (The New York Times) about a salaryman who decides to put his life up for sale in the classifieds section of a Tokyo newspaper after a botched suicide attempt. "An outstanding writer not only of Japan, but of the world." —The Atlantic After salaryman...

INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER A REESE'S BOOK CLUB PICK “Hard to put down, harder to forget.” — Stephen King, #1 New York Times bestselling author White lies. Dark humor. Deadly consequences… Bestselling sensation Juniper Song is not who she says she is, she didn’t write the...

Be(com)ing Nigerian: A Guide is a satirical collection that takes a searing look at how different forms of power are abused, negotiated, and performed both in the private and public realm. Through attempting to satirise those who abuse privilege or power, it recognises that power can be found everywhere: in politics, business, religious institutions, and in homes. From the exploration of religious hypocrisy in How to Worship the Nigerian God, to A Letter to My Future Kidnapper, the collection is a jab at Nigerian society and what it means to be a Nigerian.

If we were as tiny as ants to another being, what would they make of our philosophies? The great satirist Voltaire imagines alien visitors who have opinions. Bedtime stories are narrated by the world's most celebrated voices and written with no beginning, middle, or end so you don't stay up to hear what happens next. They're interesting enough to give your mind something to focus on, but delivered in a way that encourages sleep.

Après la mort de son père, Michel, fonctionnaire quadragénaire et blasé, décide de partir en Thaïlande pour goûter aux plaisirs exotiques. Il y rencontre Valérie, cadre dans une grande société de voyages, à qui il soufflera sa théorie sur les vraies motivations des Européens en quête de sensations fortes. Embarqué dans la lutte pour le profit à tout prix, où le corps est plus que jamais une marchandise, Michel jette un regard cynique sur la société occidentale.

Brought to you by Penguin. Over 1 million Discworld audiobooks sold – discover the extraordinary universe of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld like never before The audiobook of Small Gods is narrated by the BAFTA award-winning actor and director Andy Serkis (The Lord of the Rings; Planet of the...