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"You're just sitting there obsessing over what's happening with your fat cells. It's fucking wild." These raw words capture the mental torment of anorexia nervosa—a reality I knew intimately as both patient and physician.

My relationship with food began as an obese child enduring bullying and humiliation. By fifteen, amid my parents' divorce, I found control through extreme calorie restriction. I dropped weight dramatically, earning praise until crossing that invisible line where congratulations turned to concern. At 45 kilos, I was a shell—perpetually cold, depressed, unable to enjoy my passion for drama. The black-and-white thinking of anorexia trapped me: I couldn't eat normally without fearing I'd become "a fat fuck again."

A child psychiatrist's blunt assessment—that I'd spend years in an eating disorder bed rather than attending university—finally flipped a switch. Medicine became my lifeline, my reason to recover. Yet recovery wasn't linear. Bulimia followed, with up to ten purging sessions daily through university. Later, stimulants became another way to suppress appetite, creating a dangerous addiction pathway.

Years later, as a renal physician, I helped build what became a model eating disorder unit in regional Australia. Drawing from personal experience, I transformed nursing culture from judgment to compassion. We'd tell nurses: imagine someone forcing you to eat something disgusting—that's how these patients feel about normal food. Through painstaking work, we created an environment where severely ill patients could heal.

Perhaps most transformative was my professional work with obese patients. Research revealed that much of what we believe about weight is wrong. Some bodies are genetically programmed to retain weight—traits once beneficial during famines. The blame and shame heaped upon larger people isn't just cruel but scientifically unfounded. Studies show people with BMIs around 31 actually live longer than those at the lower end of "normal."

Whether you've struggled with eating disorders, work in healthcare, or simply want to understand these complex conditions better, this episode offers insights from someone who's experienced the battle from both sides of the treatment room. If you take away one message, let it be this: compassion trumps judgment every time.

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Spiritual connections with animals have become one of the most unexpected and profound aspects of my recovery journey. As someone who's always had dogs, I never anticipated how becoming more spiritually aware would transform my relationships with all kinds of creatures—from rescue pets to wildlife.

When I moved in with my partner, I inherited two new family members: Bella, a kelpie-dachshund mix with boundless energy, and Daisy, an elderly but nimble tabby cat. Having suffered severe cat allergies my entire life, I never imagined forming a bond with a feline companion. Yet through consciously projecting safe, loving energy, I've developed a beautiful morning ritual with Daisy, who now wakes me at dawn for affection and connection.

The spiritual techniques that transformed my human relationships work remarkably well with animals. By channeling calm energy through my hands onto Bella's head when she's overexcited, maintaining meaningful eye contact when setting boundaries, and projecting clear intentions, I've established a communication system that transcends verbal language. The most profound demonstration of this spiritual growth came unexpectedly when I encountered a 10-foot python in my backyard. Instead of experiencing my usual debilitating phobia—one so severe I couldn't even look at pictures of snakes—I felt fascinated by its beauty. This encounter fundamentally shifted my relationship with fear itself.

These animal connections have become powerful teachers in my recovery. Whether it's the magpie I rescued who returned daily to check on me, or the rescue pets who respond to energy work, these relationships demonstrate that the same principles healing human connections can create meaningful bonds across species. Have you experienced spiritual connections with animals in your life? I'd love to hear your stories about the creatures who've helped you see the world differently.

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Recovery isn't just about staying clean—it's about rebuilding a life that collapsed beneath you. After decimating my life as a renal medicine specialist through addiction, I found myself at ground zero, wondering how to become functional again. While a fortunate insurance payout provided temporary financial security, the question loomed: what next?

Society pushes us toward relentless productivity and clear career trajectories. For 18 months, I remained paralyzed by indecision, unable to rekindle my passion for medicine yet feeling desperate to establish a new path. This desperation morphed into consuming anxiety about failure—robbing me of present moments with my son and partner while providing no real progress toward stability.

My breakthrough came through Buddhist teachings that fundamentally shifted my perspective. The concept that we can't force success through sheer determination, that sometimes surrender is the wisest approach, provided immense relief. I'd already experienced this truth firsthand—when I stopped being judgmental, forgave others, and released resentments, my circumstances improved dramatically. Similarly, when I stopped stressing about finances and started manifesting abundance instead of scarcity, unexpected financial good fortune followed.

The journey has taught me how previous relationship trauma shapes current connections. The fear of being seen as a "liability" or financial burden—words hammered into me by a previous partner—created distance in my current relationship when I thought I was demonstrating independence. Understanding these patterns has been crucial in building healthy bonds after addiction.

Perhaps most profoundly, I've learned that purpose doesn't always arrive on schedule or follow a predetermined path. By removing desperate urgency from my search for meaning, I've created space for organic discovery and genuine connections. In documenting my journey toward enlightenment, I've found fulfillment in sharing insights that might help others navigate similar challenges.

Ready to explore more about recovery, Buddhist philosophy, and rebuilding life after addiction? Join me on Patreon where I share daily reflections on this continuing journey toward enlightenment and authentic living.

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Ever wondered why some people seem trapped in endless cycles of bad luck while others effortlessly attract good fortune? In this deeply personal episode, Michelle opens up about her transformative journey from addiction recovery to discovering the power of energy work and karmic patterns.

Michelle reveals how merely getting clean wasn't enough to change her life trajectory - she continued experiencing disasters and unhappiness until she addressed the underlying energetic patterns driving these experiences. Through Buddhist concepts of karmic imprints and practical daily techniques, she discovered how to break free from destructive cycles.

The podcast offers powerful insights into how our projected energy creates our reality. Michelle shares vulnerable stories about financial fears dissolving into unexpected abundance, difficult relationships transforming through intentional energy work, and how forgiveness - both of others and herself - became the cornerstone of her transformation. She even recounts her initially skeptical visit to a spiritual healer that produced undeniable results.

What makes this episode particularly valuable is its blend of spiritual concepts with practical, actionable techniques anyone can implement. Learn how to identify emotional triggers as they arise, conduct daily reflective practices, change limiting inner conversations, and consciously project positive energy before challenging interactions. Michelle explains how these practices helped transform her relationships, finances, and overall well-being.

Whether you're seeking to understand why the same patterns keep appearing in your life or looking for practical ways to shift your energy and transform your circumstances, this episode offers both inspiration and concrete tools to begin your own journey of karmic transformation. Listen now to discover how you can shift from simply reacting to actively creating the energy patterns that shape your life.

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What happens when the drugs you once craved become your worst nightmare? Michelle's powerful account of recovery from methamphetamine and cocaine addiction reveals the profound identity shift that true sobriety demands.

Unlike typical recovery stories focused on willpower and daily resistance, Michelle describes a spiritual transformation that changed her relationship with substances entirely. Through vivid recollections of drug-induced paranoia, near-death experiences, and the gradual realization that the highs weren't worth the devastating lows, she maps her journey to becoming someone who genuinely doesn't want to use anymore.

The turning point wasn't a program or intervention but a moment of clarity: "This only brings me misery and loss." Working with Narcotics Anonymous and developing her own spiritual practice, Michelle learned to recognize her self-centered thinking, take accountability for past behaviors, and prioritize the relationships she'd damaged. Rather than viewing herself perpetually as "an addict in recovery," she expanded into a new identity built on responsibility, trust, and presence.

Most moving is her description of ordinary moments that now bring extraordinary fulfillment—arriving on time for her son's school pickup, having normal conversations with teachers, and simply showing up as the person her family needs her to be. These small victories represent a life transformation far more satisfying than any chemical high.

Whether you're struggling with addiction or supporting someone who is, Michelle's story offers hope that recovery isn't just about fighting urges—it's about becoming someone new who walks a different path entirely. Have you experienced a similar transformation in your life? Share your journey and join our community of growth and healing.

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When hatred becomes normalized in our society, we all lose. From vicious online commentary to political division, from racism to the stigmatization of vulnerable populations, the rising tide of hate threatens to undermine our shared humanity and collective potential.

In this raw, unfiltered conversation, Michelle delves into the psychology behind hatred and why it ultimately destroys the hater more than the hated. She explores how hatred originates within us, revealing our own insecurities and fears rather than any real truth about those we direct it toward. With personal stories from her own experiences with homelessness and addiction, she offers a unique perspective on compassion toward society's most vulnerable.

Michelle doesn't shy away from controversial topics, questioning the motives behind the anti-woke movement and its targeting of transgender individuals. She challenges listeners to examine their information sources and confront the echo chambers that reinforce existing beliefs while blocking out different perspectives. Most powerfully, she makes a case for forgiveness not as weakness but as strength—a way to break destructive cycles and find greater peace within ourselves.

The conversation moves beyond critique to offer practical approaches for navigating a divided world: intellectualizing arguments rather than emotionalizing them, listening to opposing viewpoints with genuine curiosity, and finding common ground even with those who seem most different from us. Michelle suggests that our capacity for empathy and understanding might be humanity's greatest hope in troubled times.

Whether you lean left or right politically, whether you've been the target of hatred or found yourself harboring it, this episode offers a thoughtful exploration of how we might move beyond division toward something better. Listen now to challenge your thinking and perhaps discover a more compassionate path forward.

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What if you could stop your emotions from hijacking your life? Michelle takes us on a raw, honest journey through her struggle with emotional dysregulation and the life-changing skills she's developed to break free from destructive patterns.

Michelle shares how she once had no concept that emotions could be controlled. When anger or distress hit, she'd let those feelings completely unravel, desperately seeking validation and often engaging in behaviors she'd later regret. Through recovery work and painful life lessons, she discovered the transformative power of emotional regulation.

With remarkable candor, Michelle details specific techniques that helped her master her emotional responses—from mindfulness practices that ground her in her body to simple questions that interrupt reactive patterns. She shares a revealing story about charging cables that once would have triggered a relationship-damaging explosion, but now represents a triumph of emotional management.

The podcast takes a particularly touching turn as Michelle discusses parenting her autistic son, whose emotional dysregulation mirrors her past struggles. This new challenge has become both a trigger and an opportunity for deeper healing and growth. She openly acknowledges her imperfections in this area while sharing strategies like the "alphabet game" that sometimes helps break the cycle of escalation.

Whether you're working on your own emotional regulation, parenting a neurodivergent child, or simply interested in personal development, Michelle's journey offers practical wisdom, vulnerable honesty, and hope for meaningful change. Her story reminds us that while we can't control others, mastering our own emotional responses transforms our relationships and our lives.

Follow the show and connect with Michelle on social media for more insights on emotional regulation, recovery, and conscious living. Be kind to everyone, namaste.

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Relationships shatter under the weight of addiction. I know this firsthand—I burned every bridge with family, friends, and partners during my darkest days of substance abuse. The heartbreaking isolation that followed became a turning point in my recovery journey.

Remember the famous Rat Park study? When rats lived in enriched environments with social connections, they rarely chose drug-laced water. Alone in cages, they consumed it until death. Humans aren't so different. We're tribal creatures who turn to others for comfort in distress. Without that support system, drugs become an easier choice.

Recovery demanded more than just sobriety. It required rebuilding trust through consistent actions, not just intentions. My father was the first to believe in me, while others needed more proof. Slowly, I reconstructed relationships with family members, formed friendships as an adult for the first time, and even developed a healthy bond with my ex-partner. Most importantly, I'm healing my relationship with my son, being honest about my past while protecting his future.

Managing my ADHD creates new relationship challenges as I balance my tendency to hyperfocus with the need to connect. I've learned to deliberately allocate time for the people I care about, recognizing that love requires energy and attention. Each relationship—whether with family, friends, romantic partners, or my child—needs different forms of nurturing.

These connections now form a protective barrier against relapse. I couldn't imagine using drugs and facing the people who matter to me. While I once couldn't understand how relationships prevent addiction, I now see it clearly every day. We get out what we put in, and true happiness comes when we focus beyond ourselves.

How are you nurturing the relationships that matter most? Share your thoughts and subscribe to hear more recovery stories that might just change how you see connection in your own life.

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