are you working more hours but still struggling to get ahead? stressed about the cost of living, worried about losing your job, or wondering how much money you'll need before you can finally enjoy your life?

what if more money isn't necessarily the answer?

i've been talking about money, financial security, manifestation, materialization, and what i call "mundane money woes" for YEARS. these audio excerpts come from my 2018–2019 archives, but the questions are just as relevant today. why do we keep chasing money instead of focusing on the actual things, opportunities, experiences, and solutions we desire?

sometimes getting more money means getting more hours at work. sometimes earning more leads to spending more, taking on additional bills, and creating another cycle of financial obligations. and who wants to spend their entire life working just to maintain the things they've accumulated?

i prefer to talk about materialization, and i've experienced things happening without taking on additional monthly payments or needing perfect credit. i've spent more than 20 years documenting my experiences, questioning conventional thinking, and exploring different ways to create opportunities.

this is a short reflection from my archives about money, freedom, and the importance of questioning what we've been taught.

explore more of my archived teachings at https://faafo.cc

courtney crosslin • sisi in brasil • faafo.app

how do digital nomads actually make money? have you ever heard of retainers? and why are so many people unwilling to tell you where their income really comes from?

i've been working independently for over 20 years, and retainers were one of the biggest game changers for me. in this clip, i talk about landing one of my first long-term clients while walking the streets of new haven, connecticut. that relationship lasted over 15 years! i also discuss the difference between earning consistent income through client work and presenting a lifestyle online without explaining what's actually funding it.

you don't need thousands of followers or to become an influencer to work remotely. but you do need to think differently about your skills, your clients, and how you get paid. what could you already be doing that someone would pay you for every month?

this is an excerpt from transparency, originally streamed live on youtube on april 19, 2026, as part of move to brasil with sisi.

want to watch the full-length, 2-hour, 22-minute video ad-free? go to faafo.cc.

courtney crosslin • sisi in brasil

what if the part of you trying to protect you from discomfort is also keeping you from seeing yourself clearly?

this 2018 throwback comes from The Porch, where i was talking about ego and how differently it can show up when we actually start watching ourselves.

we may say we're all connected, then convince ourselves that our situation is somehow different. we may avoid working with a group because people feel complicated or uncomfortable, while still seeking one person's individual attention. and sometimes the real discomfort is that other people can reflect our own masks, layers, feelings, and shadow self back to us.

people throw around words like narcissist very easily now. this conversation goes in another direction: before diagnosing everybody else, what can we learn by watching our own ego?

2018 throwback: ego -- the projector and protector

courtney crosslin, also known as sisi in brasil

listen to more at faafo.app/radio

quotes:

-- "i do not have to leave my house to be entertained."

-- "detroit is extremely significant for me on so many different levels."

-- "i end up getting an email from detroit electrical company. what are the odds?"

-- "pull the plug can go so many different ways, but it's just literally like unplug from the connections coming to america."

summary:

detroit kept showing up this week. i reached out to someone from my time there, then got an email from dte, the detroit electrical company. i have not lived in detroit since 2017. then a past lover sent a whatsapp video about lights flickering, as mercury retrograde began.

part three of my live series: pull the plug, coming to america https://www.youtube.com/live/v0pbjjGTceU?si=QBQJkKpVBGij9cqt

the audio i published on friday about detroit: Bat-ground : Background https://rss.com/podcasts/faafo/3259058/

find me at faafo.app.

listen without ads at https://ko-fi.com/courtneycrosslin/shop.

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keywords:

detroit, detroit gateway to freedom, synchronicity, signs from the universe, coincidence, supernatural experiences, past lovers, mercury retrograde, scorpio, discernment, orishas, pull the plug coming to america, energy and power, latin lovers, american in brazil, living in bahia brazil, sisi in brasil, faafo

NOTES: 1) 🇺🇸 the image attached is a real photo of the bat house that was built and placed in my backyard after the bats were safely removed from the walls, because bats are protected in florida and could not simply be harmed or disposed of. -- 🇧🇷 A imagem em anexo é uma foto real do abrigo para morcegos que foi construído e instalado no meu quintal, após os morcegos terem sido removidos das paredes de forma segura — visto que, na Flórida, esses animais são protegidos por lei e não podem, simplesmente, ser feridos ou descartados.

1. 🇧🇷 Você pode encontrar a transcrição aqui e traduzi-la para o idioma de sua preferência. Ou, se preferir, pode ouvir a versão em áudio dublado no YouTube aqui: https://youtu.be/9gO662CSv08

QUOTES:

-- “i have never been initiated in the sense that people talk about initiation because that has never been allowed for me. i don't do any rituals. i don't do ceremonies.”

-- “when we look past the differences, we're able to see the similarities in ourselves, our cultures, our lifestyles, our experiences, our struggles, and even many of our spiritual and religious practices.”

DESCRIPTION:

yesterday morning, while drinking my coffee, smoking my tobacco, watching the sunrise, and communing with nature, god, and my ancestors, a bat kept flying back and forth near my patio. at first i wasn't completely sure what it was. then i smelled it.

yes. i know what a bat smells like.

that recognition took me back to living in an old church in new smyrna beach where bats once lived in the walls...

i haven't been initiated into a spiritual tradition. i don't perform rituals or ceremonies. i don't use ayahuasca, cannabis, mushrooms, or other substances to create these experiences. over the last decade, i've studied, researched, experienced, and connected with people across different religions, spiritual traditions, ancient practices, astrology, human design, gene keys, and other systems because i'm curious about where they overlap.

and they overlap more than people may realize.

for years, including through the porch, i've intentionally created spaces where people with different religions, spiritual practices, backgrounds, cultures, and belief systems could exist without being forced to agree with one another.

in this episode

• the bat that showed up outside my patio and why i immediately recognized its smell
• how living in an old church in new smyrna beach connects to what happened
• recognizing an energy i had experienced during other major turning points in my life
• finding a photograph of a journal entry written by a babalawo more than a decade ago
• why i originally went for an ifá reading and why i distinguish confirmation from seeking answers
• two orishas that became part of the synchronicities unfolding around me
• reconnecting parts of my spiritual history between the united states and brazil
• why i've never been formally initiated and don't practice rituals or ceremonies
• my experiences studying astrology, human design, gene keys, african traditional religions, esoteric systems, and other modalities
• what ten years of studying different belief systems has taught me about similarities hiding underneath our differences
• why i don't allow people to invalidate someone else's spiritual or religious beliefs

listen to more conversations from faafo with courtney, hosted by courtney c also known as sisi in brasil, at faafo.app/radio

quotes:

-- "god does not give one person all the answers because god knows that human beings are easily corruptible and they will abuse their power."

-- "if you're in a space right now with people that you wouldn't want to be in lockdown with, fucking move."

-- "the two bravest women that i know in my life don't look anything like me."

-- "so the universe, god, my ancestors snatched me out of that environment and was like, you get to be in the middle of nowhere, unbothered."

-- "what would be or is going to be the gateway to freedom for brazilians?"

watch on YouTube at: https://youtube.com/live/v0pbjjGTceU --

summary:

this is the start of a series. i recorded this live on october 18, 2026, and i am still recording. i don't know how many parts will end up in this series today. if you prefer to watch, you can watch on youtube live. if you need translations and captions, youtube can take a couple of days to process, so come back later. this is part three of i don't know how many.

i came back from a break after hearing the words pull the plug. my spidey senses went off. i was trying to connect what i was picking up to the macro, the collective and global scale. i talk about people around you who are envious. they may envy how freely you move, how independently you think, or how happy you are. envy can show up in dreams, visions and gossip.

i look back at 2016 as the opening scene and 2017 as the theatrics, unfolding like a telenovela. i tell what i found in detroit: a historical marker calling it the gateway to freedom, part of the underground railroad. that makes me ask what the gateway to freedom will be for brazilians.

i talk about allies who do not look like us. the two bravest women i know are white women, and my mother is brave too. i explain why god does not give one person all the answers, and why collaboration matters. the jump scene from coming to america came up. i ask why people jump through hoops to be loved. i give people what they need, not what they want.

then i talk about the 2020 lockdown. i was moved from brooklyn to detroit to phoenix to my family's land in rural america. i was angry then, and it turned out to be the best protection. i share a feeling that another lockdown may be coming, and my spirit says it feels physical and global. i say plainly that i do not know if it will happen. i end by explaining what pulling the plug means, and two ways to see it: preparation or a lesson learned.

find me at faafo.app.

quotes:

-- "i am put on this earth to bring hope to people. a lot of people don't like that."

-- "a lot of people don't teach empowerment. they teach dependency. know the difference."

-- "stop withholding your power."

-- "my mother once told me, she said, never block someone's blessing by rejecting a gift."

-- "you be the ghost writer of their life. they think they're the main character in their own novel. they're not."

watch on YouTube at https://youtube.com/live/2hsIx_RRy_c --

summary:

this is the start of a series. i recorded this live on october 18, 2026, and i am still recording. i don't know how many parts will end up in this series today. if you prefer to watch, you can watch on youtube live. if you need translations and captions, youtube can take a couple of days to process, so come back later.

this is part two, and i call it hope versus fear. there is a lot of fear being pushed into the world right now. i talk about generational fear, inherited fear, real fear and imaginary fear. i also talk about how they stop us from moving forward and breaking generational curses. i explain that my income does not depend on likes or views.

i talk about why so few black americans travel, because of a fear embedded by heinous history.

i widen it to the whole diaspora and the global south. i also speak to brazilians who do not want to identify as black. travel does not have to be physical. it can be curiosity about anything outside what you were taught. i use candomblé and ifa as a curious example, with no judgment.

i say do not believe hearsay. do your own research, and ask the person who is accused. i talk about your voice as a power source and why the numbers do not matter. i also explain why speaking into a stagnant pool gets no results. i also explain my phases: curiosity, exploring, two years of observation, and now speaking again.

then i talk about money and grace. i explain how i give as a gift, a loan or an offering. i always set my intention first. next i cover magnetism, the obsession it can attract, and why some people attack anyone who brings hope. i warn young women not to let anyone use their energy.

i end with empowerment versus dependency, and a nudge to study ley lines.

find me at faafo.app.

quotes

"a lot of these teachers, preachers, spiritualists, politicians depend on the dependency of their followers to survive."

"we are the tools. we are the altars. we are the medicines."

"if they are as bad as they say they are, why do they need help? make it make sense."

"i don't believe in borders. i don't believe in boxes. a box is a border. a circle is a border."

"you've got to get on your fucking path first."

summary

this is the start of a series. i recorded this live on october 18, 2026, and i am still recording. i don't know how many parts will end up in this series today. if you prefer to watch, you can watch on youtube live. if you need translations and captions, youtube can take a couple of days to process, so come back later.

watch on YouTube at -- https://youtube.com/live/GmVdseE-yIQ --

this is the behind the scenes story of what has been happening to me in brazil. it has been building for a while, and today is the day. some of it will not make sense yet. it will make sense to people in this energy now. it may also land for anyone who had something significant happen around 2016. if you watch later, take notes for when you enter this cycle. this one runs about an hour and 22 minutes.

i start with travel protection and the difference between insurance and assurance. i have not had medical insurance in over 20 years. when i left corporate america, people asked about medical insurance before they asked about money. so i taught myself to heal myself, and to keep away people who make me sick. i also talk about packing light, with the word light and the word lite. i explain how baggage keeps people stuck. i came to brazil with a carry on and a suitcase. i am the tool, the altar and the medicine.

then i get into abuse of power. power is energy, and i explain what i mean by that. i talk about people who need followers to do their dirty work, and people like me who move solo. i also have a hard truth for anyone being used to harm someone else.

in 2016, i got wrapped up in love and it almost killed me. that night my gifts came online, and the porch and the vanguard mystery school grew out of it. ten years later, in brazil, i recognized the same game with another foreigner. this time i am not attached in the same way. i also share the voice that told me in 2016 to pull my energy out.

i also talk about keeping your friends close and your enemies closer. i explain why empress and high priestess energy is not queen energy. i share the engagement ring i bought as a power play. i cover online protection, from prayer to a vpn to telling your story. i end with a message for young women about to start their ten year journey.

find me at faafo.app.