Today I talk with Jason VanRuler, a licensed therapist, author, coach, keynote speaker, and social media influencer on relationships, discussing the challenges and nuances of the modern dating world. We cover a range of topics including the impact of dating apps (like the new Bumble controversy), the distinction between wants and needs in relationships, and practical advice for establishing healthy, authentic connections. We dive into the importance of understanding past experiences, self-awareness in dating, and strategies for handling conflict and building resilience in relationships. We also touch on specific advice for men considering therapy and conclude with insights on embracing vulnerability for deeper relationship satisfaction. Enjoy!

00:00 Understanding Wants vs. Needs: A Deep Dive

00:44 Introducing Jason VanRuler: Expert on Modern Dating

01:04 Navigating the Modern Dating World: Challenges and Advice

01:20 The Reality of Dating Apps and Relationship Expectations

04:23 Embracing Vulnerability in Dating

06:36 The Quest for Authenticity and Self-Discovery in Relationships

14:15 Conflict Resolution: Turning Challenges into Opportunities

18:52 Deepening Emotional Intelligence and Communication in Relationships

20:35 Navigating Romantic Relationships vs. Friendships

21:29 The Impact of Attachment Theory on Relationships

22:22 Learning from Friendships to Improve Romantic Bonds

22:54 Self-Discovery and Healing in Relationships

23:52 The Power of Self-Love and Empathy

24:57 Challenges and Growth in Modern Dating

25:32 The Importance of Relationships in Life

26:18 Navigating Relationships with Self-Awareness

27:20 Overcoming the Past for a Healthier Future

32:24 Therapy's Role in Personal and Relationship Growth

35:19 Promoting Personal Projects and Closing Thoughts

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Jason's Instagram
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*This is not a substitute for therapy nor is it therapeutic advice. If you would like to find a therapist in your area check out psychologytoday.com, goodtherapy.org, or therapyden.com

Navigating Deconversion, Religious Trauma, and Self Discovery

This episode features an in-depth conversation with Neil Carter, host of the podcast 'Godless in Dixie', focusing on his personal journey through deconversion, the challenges of dealing with religious trauma, and the impact on his identity as a man. Neil shares insights into the psychological and emotional complexities of losing one's faith, the process of redefining self-worth and authenticity, and the importance of finding community and understanding in the aftermath of religious departure. The discussion also explores strategies for coping with religious traumas, such as reparenting oneself and internal dialogue with different aspects of one's personality, underscoring the value of self-compassion and meaningful connections in healing and growth.

00:00 Exploring Masculinity and Religion: A Deep Dive

00:45 Introducing Neil Carter: From Faith to Atheism

02:31 Neil's Personal Journey Through Religion and Deconversion

05:06 The Layers of Religious Trauma Unveiled

13:27 Navigating Life Post-Deconversion: Challenges and Coping

14:57 The Struggle for Authenticity in a Faith-Dominated Environment

26:21 Rebuilding Life and Finding Community Outside Religion

30:45 Reflecting on Core Beliefs and the Ongoing Trauma

33:35 Navigating Faith and Family Dynamics

34:12 Supporting Family Faith While Maintaining Authenticity

37:23 Finding Connection Beyond Faith

40:19 Internal Growth and Self-Compassion

43:37 Embracing the Multiverse of Self

52:54 Dealing with Religious Trauma and Finding Community

58:40 Final Thoughts and Resources


Neil's Podcast: Godless in Dixie
Interview an Atheist at Church: Video

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*This is not a substitute for therapy nor is it therapeutic advice. If you would like to find a therapist in your area check out psychologytoday.com, goodtherapy.org, or therapyden.com

Today’s episode delves into the concept of the hero's journey as outlined by Joseph Campbell, emphasizing the universal pattern of adventures and trials that protagonists undergo in mythology and literature. It illustrates this journey with the personal experience of facing tests from the universe after finding self-love, leading to the approach of the 'inmost cave'—the deepest personal challenges and fears. The narrative provides insights into overcoming these trials, such as trusting the process, learning from each step, and embracing both the ordeal and the eventual triumph over personal monsters. It concludes with messages of encouragement for those facing their own inner caves, highlighting the importance of pacing, breathing, and seeking help while reminding you that challenging journeys lead to growth and transformation.

00:00 Introduction to the Hero's Journey

01:00 The Test: Allies and Enemies

01:30 Personal Reflections on the Journey

02:01 Approaching the Inmost Cave

02:54 Navigating the Darkness Within

03:31 Facing the Ordeal and Emerging Stronger

04:02 Guidance for Those in the Innermost Cave

04:50 Conclusion and Resources

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*This is not a substitute for therapy nor is it therapeutic advice. If you would like to find a therapist in your area check out psychologytoday.com, goodtherapy.org, or therapyden.com