What if your procrastination, freezing, snapping or shutting down isn't laziness, but your nervous system trying to protect you?

In our latest episode, Ann Thomas sits down with Dr Evelet Sequeira, medical doctor, mental health trainer and certified life coach, to understand what nervous system regulation really means, especially for neurodivergent adults and the families raising neurodivergent children.

Dr Evelet has spent more than a decade working across mental health, life skills and social impact programmes, and has conducted over 200 trainings reaching thousands of people. Today, she works closely with adults with ADHD, many of them diagnosed late, who arrive exhausted after years of masking, pushing through and being told they are "lazy" or "useless."

Together, Ann and Dr Evelet unpack what happens inside us when we say, "I know I need to do it, but I can't get myself to do it," why "just calm down" never works, and why safety has to come before change, for children and adults alike.

In this conversation, we explore:

* What a regulated and a dysregulated nervous system look like in everyday life.

* Why we freeze, cry or lash out when someone yells at us.

* How the ADHD brain is wired for threat, and what hypervigilance does to the body.

* Executive function explained: why it is biology, not a character flaw.

* How ADHD and rejection sensitivity show up in relationships.

* Fear-based vs love-based parenting, and why "instant" parenting backfires.

* Why so many ADHD adults break down in their late 30s and early 40s.

* The "minimum viable day" and the "rule of three" for low-energy days.

* Practical regulation tools: breathwork, grounding, cold water and building recovery into the workday.

* How ADHD shows up differently for men and women across life stages.

* The difference between guilt and shame, and why being seen matters so much.

One of the central ideas in this conversation is that regulation happens in the body, not by thought. It's not you versus the child. It's you and the child versus the issue at hand.

Timestamps:

00:00 Cold Open

00:41 Welcome to Just Your Normal Missfit

02:45 What Is Nervous System Regulation?

05:11 Regulated vs Dysregulated Responses

08:06 Why We Freeze When Someone Yells

09:36 When Every Emotion Comes Out as Tears

11:21 The ADHD Brain and Emotional Overwhelm

13:21 Hypervigilance Explained

16:31 Why "Calm Down" Doesn't Work

19:29 Messy Rooms and Parenting Pressure

22:31 Executive Function Explained

25:31 ADHD, Texts and Relationships

27:48 When a Teen Avoids Class

32:29 Fear-Based vs Love-Based Parenting

35:22 Why ADHD Adults Break Down in Their 30s and 40s

37:48 Safety, Strengths and the Minimum Viable Day

40:35 Your Child's Timeline vs Yours

41:12 Assessment, Medication and Coaching

46:04 The Rule of Three

48:36 Interest, Dopamine and Building Habits

51:23 Can Neurodivergent People Thrive at Work?

53:21 Building Recovery Into the Workday

56:28 Empathy and Sensing Injustice

1:00:08 ADHD Across Gender and Life Stages

1:06:34 How a Coach Protects Her Own Energy

1:09:29 Guilt vs Shame

1:12:30 Parenting With ADHD

1:14:49 You Are a Good Mother

If this conversation resonates with you, share it with a parent, partner, colleague, or anyone who has ever been called "lazy" for struggling.

Subscribe to Just Your Normal Missfit for more conversations about neurodivergence, mental health, and the many ways we experience the world.

Watch full episode on Youtube: https://youtu.be/j3TKHwx-TM8

Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/justyournormalmissfit/

And discover more about neurodivergent help, resources and tools with The Misfit Collaborative: https://www.instagram.com/themisfitcollaborative/

#ADHD #AdultADHD #NervousSystemRegulation #Neurodivergent #ADHDIndia #LateDiagnosis #ADHDParenting #MentalHealth #JustYourNormalMissfit

What if, instead of asking how to fix a child, we asked what the child needs from us?

In our latest episode, Ann Thomas sits down with Tanvi Singh, social entrepreneur, mental health activist, and Director of the Leap of Love Foundation, to explore what it means to create safer, more inclusive environments for children.

Tanvi’s journey from physics and technology to social work has led her to work with children from marginalised communities, government schools, educators, parents, and volunteers. Through this work, she has encountered the many ways that poverty, social privilege, access to education, family environments, and neurodivergence intersect with a child’s everyday experiences.

Together, Ann and Tanvi unpack why mental health is about more than diagnosis or crisis management, why a child’s behaviour needs to be understood in the context of their environment, and why safety must come before expectations.

In this conversation, we explore:

- What volunteering can teach us about purpose and community.

- Why safety and emotional well-being matter alongside education.

- How privilege shapes our understanding of what is “normal.”

- Neurodivergence in classrooms, diagnosis, and the difference between symptoms and labels.

- The challenges of accessing disability documentation, government schemes, and support.

- Why children need agency, not just adults telling them what to do.

- How to talk to children about sex, consent, boundaries, and safety.

- Why confidentiality does not mean promising secrecy.

- How parents’ emotional regulation influences their children.

- What it means to be a safe, responsible adult.

- How the Leap of Love Foundation hopes to make research-backed, accessible tools available to more families.

One of the central ideas in this conversation is that children do not exist in isolation from their environments. Their behaviour, struggles, and needs cannot always be understood by looking at the child alone. Sometimes, the adults around them need to change, too.

Timestamps:

00:00 Meet Tanvi Singh

02:42 From Physics to Purpose

04:13 Why Volunteering Feels Good

05:55 Leap of Love Approach

09:26 Life in Underserved Homes

13:08 Mental Health Before Milestones

16:56 Dignity Over Saviorism

24:27 Child Agency and Feedback

30:40 Spotting Neurodivergence

35:19 Safety and Parent Support

40:00 Preventing Early Marriage

44:40 Sex Education and Consent

49:17 Diagnosis Paperwork Reality

51:26 Bureaucracy Blocks Access

53:24 Policy Maze Across States

55:18 Classroom Perceptions

56:01 Stop Fixing Kids

58:17 Safe Adult Boundaries

01:01:41 Confidentiality Not Secrecy

01:04:28 Parents Regulate First

01:12:35 Giving Kids Agency

01:20:11 Future Plans and Research

01:22:50 Animal Welfare Expansion

01:25:06 Joy of Volunteering Story

01:28:21 How to Reach and Fund

01:32:39 Rapid Fire Takeaways

01:36:01 Staying Hopeful in Activism

01:40:32 Final Reflections and Signoff

If this conversation resonates with you, share it with a parent, educator, caregiver, or anyone working towards a more inclusive world.

Subscribe to Just Your Normal Missfit for more conversations about neurodivergence, mental health, and the many ways we experience the world.

Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/justyournormalmissfit/

And discover more about neurodivergent help, resources and tools with The Misfit Collaborative: https://www.instagram.com/themisfitcollaborative/

What does it actually mean to live with ADHD, beyond focus, distraction, and the stereotypes?In this episode of Just Your Normal Missfit, Ann Thomas speaks with Ankita Jagtiani Dadachanji, an internationally trained ADHD coach and POSH Consultant who works with adults navigating executive dysfunction, procrastination, overwhelm, emotional regulation and the everyday realities of ADHD.Diagnosed with ADHD herself, Ankita brings both lived experience and professional expertise to the conversation. Together, they explore what ADHD can look like in adulthood, particularly in the Indian context, and why so much of it can remain invisible.From trying to force yourself into rigid routines to understanding why you can manage everyone else's life but struggle with your own, this conversation gets into the less visible parts of ADHD.We talk about:• Why ADHD can go undiagnosed for years• The Indian context of ADHD, stigma and access to support• Structure vs. rigidity• Why consistency may need a new definition• The all-or-nothing mindset and perfectionism• Procrastination, overwhelm and task initiation• Executive dysfunction and why knowing what to do doesn't always mean being able to do it• Masking, discipline and the hidden effort behind looking “organised”• The ADHD tax and the emotional cost of constantly feeling like you’ve failed• Interest-based motivation and mundane tasks• Emotional regulation and big feelings• Why women are often diagnosed later• The difference between a therapist, coach and psychiatrist• Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)• Whether to disclose ADHD at work• ADHD and friendships, reminders and “out of sight, out of mind”• What to realistically expect from an ADHD coach• What neuro-affirming support can actually look likeMost importantly, this is a conversation about building fluid structures that work with your brain, rather than constantly trying to force your brain into someone else's definition of “normal.”Timestamps00:00 Meet Ankita ADHD Coach01:02 Career Pivot and Lockdown01:49 Diagnosis and Indian Context07:17 Why ADHD Feels Everywhere11:04 Who Seeks ADHD Coaching17:50 Structure vs Rigidity19:54 Self-Compassion and Delegating28:28 Redefining Consistency33:24 All or Nothing Mindset36:49 Task Initiation and Overwhelm39:27 Executive Dysfunction Explained43:15 Masking Discipline and Support49:28 ADHD at Work Impulsivity50:31 Stop Blurting Strategies52:31 Work Masking Burnout54:38 Notes That You Can Find56:20 ADHD Tax And PINCH58:21 Motivation Is Interest01:00:41 Mundane Tasks Systems01:04:44 Big Feelings Injustice01:07:33 Emotional Regulation Tools01:09:20 Why Women Diagnosed Late01:13:47 Therapist Coach Psychiatrist01:20:45 RSD And Medication01:22:47 Disclosing ADHD At Work01:25:03 Friendship And Reminders01:26:36 When To Hire A Coach01:29:52 Neuro Affirming Support01:36:10 Closing TakeawaysIf this conversation resonates with you, share it with someone who might need to hear that they aren't simply lazy, undisciplined or “bad at life.”Just Your Normal Missfit is a space for conversations around neurodivergence, identity, mental health, culture and the many ways human brains experience the world.Stream this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/WULWnTOLgicFollow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/justyournormalmissfit/And discover more about neurodivergent help, resources and tools with The Misfit Collaborative: https://www.instagram.com/themisfitcollaborative/#ADHD #ADHDIndia #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergence #ADHDHelp #ExecutiveDysfunction #ADHDAwareness

What happens when a child is told they don’t belong in a space meant for them?

For Kavita Gupta, that experience became the starting point for something very different. After moving back to India with her autistic son, she found herself repeatedly facing spaces that weren’t designed to include him. Instead of accepting that as the norm, Kavita and her sister Surbhi Gupta decided to build a space where every child could play, explore and simply belong.

In this episode, Ann Thomas speaks with Kavita and Surbhi, Co-Founders of GoGiggles Inclusive Play Center, about what inclusive play really looks like in practice.

We talk about why play is so much more than just play, how it can support communication, regulation, confidence, creativity, friendship and belonging. We also explore what it takes to design a space around children rather than expecting children to fit into the space.

The conversation covers:

• The story behind GoGiggles and how exclusion became the motivation to create an inclusive space

• Why play matters for communication, regulation, confidence and connection

• What makes a play space genuinely inclusive

• Designing spaces with the help of occupational therapists and psychologists

• Sensory needs, emotional regulation and creating calmer spaces

• The fears and concerns parents bring into inclusive spaces

• Stigma, late diagnosis and the fear of accepting neurodivergence

• Why parents sometimes don't need a solution — they just need to be heard

• Why neurodivergent and neurotypical children benefit from playing together

• Child safety, transparency and the systems GoGiggles has put in place

• Why independent play matters for both children and parents

• Giving children the freedom to explore, discover and be creative

• And what each of us can do to make the world a little kinder and more inclusive

📌 Timestamps

00:00 Why Play Matters

02:18 Go Giggles Origin Story

05:46 Designing an Inclusive Space

08:48 Parents vs Kids Challenges

13:10 Inside the Play Zones

18:17 Stigma and Late Diagnosis

25:59 Supporting Parents and Staff

28:59 Safety Rules and Transparency

32:20 Child Safety Guidelines

33:17 Therapist-Led Design

35:23 Sensory Tweaks and Calm Zone

36:35 Inclusive Play Advice

40:28 Design and Staffing Tips

41:22 Stories That Motivate

47:04 Kindness and Inclusion Message

51:55 Independent Play Policy

01:01:32 Host Closing Reflection

At its heart, this is a conversation about creating spaces where children don't have to prove that they belong.

Because inclusion isn't about making someone fit in.

It's about making sure there is room for everyone.

Stream this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/akXRDcnAutE

Follow Just Your Normal Missfit on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/justyournormalmissfit/

If this conversation made you think differently about inclusion, play or neurodiversity, share it with someone who needs to hear it.

What does neurodivergent burnout actually feel like?

In this episode of Just Your Normal Missfit, Ann Thomas speaks with Melanie Lobo, a neurodivergent virtual assistant, spoonie, and systems strategist who helps neurodivergent individuals work in ways that support their brains instead of fighting them.

Melanie shares her journey of being diagnosed with autism and ADHD as an adult while simultaneously navigating chronic illness, burnout, and the loss of mobility. Together, Ann and Melanie explore what burnout really looks like, the difference between exhaustion and shutdowns, why self-awareness is critical for neurodivergent wellbeing, and how concepts like energy mapping and spoon theory can help people build more sustainable lives.

In this conversation:

• Receiving an autism and ADHD diagnosis as an adult
• Why diagnosis doesn't always feel like relief
• The early warning signs of burnout
• What autistic shutdowns can feel like
• Spoon theory and managing limited energy
• Working with your energy instead of forcing productivity
• Building support systems and neurodivergent community
• Learning to embrace your neurodivergent identity

📌Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome and Setup
01:08 Melanie’s VA Work
01:47 What ND Affirming Means
03:24 Late Diagnosis Story
06:32 Labels and Identity Shift
10:53 Freelancing as Strength
12:33 Finding Community Support
14:07 Burnout Warning Signs
16:51 Shutdowns and Recovery
21:08 Energy Tracking Tools
24:39 Inward Looking Exercise
29:49 Spoon Theory Intro
30:10 Spoon Theory Basics
30:56 Building a Spoons Tracker
31:22 Tasks That Drain or Recharge
33:10 Anger as High Energy
33:54 Burnout and Emotional Regulation
35:21 Quitting a Misaligned Client
37:42 Rebuilding Routines After Burnout
39:28 Support Systems and Self Talk
41:30 Diagnosis and Reframing Labels
43:12 Change and Side Quests
45:38 Podcast Wrap and Recording Anxiety
47:56 Money, Side Hustles, and Book Editing
49:59 Final Goodbye

If you've ever felt exhausted, overwhelmed, misunderstood, or like you're constantly pushing yourself beyond your limits, this episode is for you.

Subscribe to Just Your Normal Missfit for conversations that make neurodivergence more visible, relatable, and understood.

What happens after an autism diagnosis?

In this deeply moving episode of Just Your Normal Missfit, host Ann Thomas speaks with Divya Singh, mother, educator and autism advocate, about raising her son Ayushman, whose journey began with rare infantile spasms before he was later diagnosed with autism.

Divya shares how her family moved beyond searching for answers and instead focused on understanding Ayushman's strengths, building routines, embracing communication in different forms, and creating an environment where he could thrive.

Together, they discuss:

•⁠ ⁠Early autism signs parents should notice

•⁠ ⁠Infantile spasms and developmental regression

•⁠ ⁠Why autism isn't something to "fix"

•⁠ ⁠Sensory needs, stimming and meltdowns

•⁠ ⁠Communication beyond spoken language

•⁠ ⁠Supporting older autistic children and teenagers

•⁠ ⁠The importance of family support

•⁠ ⁠Dealing with judgment, guilt and burnout

•⁠ ⁠Building independence instead of chasing perfection

•⁠ ⁠Why society needs empathy, not sympathy

This conversation is filled with practical insights, honest reflections and hope for parents, caregivers, educators and anyone who wants to better understand autism.

Timestamps

00:00 Meet Divya Singh

02:06 Early Signs Appear

03:13 Infantile Spasms Diagnosis

05:14 Autism After Seizures

06:34 Therapies And Hope

07:16 Sibling Perspective

09:16 Stop Chasing Causes

11:54 Neurodivergence Mindset Shift

13:30 Daily Life And Sensory Tools

15:32 Milestones And Family Support

18:11 Autism Markers To Watch

21:35 Sensory Seeking And Pain

22:54 Navigating Advice And Diet

24:42 Beyond Temple Fixes

25:18 Take Them Out Often

26:44 Assume Competence

27:24 Understanding The Spectrum

29:45 Acceptance Without Stares

32:48 Stimming Explained

36:21 Diet And Protocol Training

40:37 Family Support System

46:21 Building Trust In Care

48:39 Family Acceptance Matters

49:48 Preparing Society With Awareness

50:58 Lift Story And Empathy

52:39 Let Others Step In

56:08 Movement And Home Gym

56:40 Celebrate Small Wins

57:48 Work As Self Care

01:00:48 Parenting Older Kids

01:02:25 Aggression, Puberty & Routine

01:08:55 Rapid Fire

01:12:40 Inclusion, Not Cure

01:14:23 Closing Thoughts

If this conversation resonates with you, consider subscribing to Just Your Normal Missfit for honest conversations around neurodivergence, parenting and inclusion.

Our next guest on the podcast is Melissa Monteiro, a Bangalore-bred teacher and personal tutor specializing in neurodivergent children, to discuss why she shifted from classrooms to one-on-one teaching after seeing students left out by standardized systems. Melissa explains how labels like “lazy” or “disrespectful” often miss the real challenges of ADHD, dysgraphia, and emotional regulation, and emphasizes separating the child from the behavior and keeping the “issue” as the shared problem. Drawing on her own anxiety, she describes supporting students through overwhelm, reframing success beyond marks, and using strengths-based approaches. Together, Ann and Melissa cover negative self-talk, rejection sensitivity, and alarming suicide risk, sharing tools like asking “where is the evidence?” and speaking to oneself like a friend. Melissa also discusses family pressures, affordability of support, balancing push vs pressure, the value of love and specific appreciation, physical activity and social connection, and the importance of parent self-care and “pressing pause.”📌 Timestamps:00:00 Meet Melissa Monteiro00:40 Why Melissa Chose Teaching01:52 Leaving the Classroom06:07 Proving One-on-One Tutoring Works08:58 Beyond Labels and Behaviour12:42 Same Team Mindset16:17 Empathy and Anxiety Tools19:04 Teaching Neurodivergent Learners24:57 Families Expectations and Support29:45 Building Confidence Stories32:52 Anxiety Behind The Talk33:56 Real Student Voices36:11 Tunnel Vision Spiral38:45 RSD And Moving Goals41:35 Evidence And Self Compassion44:31 Parent Strategies That Help48:01 Motivation And Loneliness52:02 Parent Burnout And Pause55:54 Complex Family Dynamics59:54 Love And Closing Thoughts

Inclusion isn’t a checklist. It’s a way of life.In this episode of Just Your Normal Missfit, I speak with Anjena Raghuram, special educator and founder of Saksham Centre for the Specially Abled @sakshambyanjena From autism to ADHD to learning disabilities, Anjena has worked with children who often get overlooked in classrooms and communities. Together, we explore:What a special educator really does (and doesn’t do)How parents can set realistic expectations and ask the right questionsThe role of IEPs, skills over syllabus, and early interventionWhy creating safe spaces and focusing on strengths—not “fixing”—mattersThis is a conversation full of heart, practical wisdom, and hope for families navigating a world not designed for neurodivergent children.👉 Watch, listen, and share if you believe every child deserves to be seen, heard, and supported.🔗 Follow Just Your Normal Missfit:Instagram: @justyournormalmissfitYouTube: https://youtu.be/3R-o131252A00:00 Introduction to Just Your Normal Missfit00:15 Meet Anjena Raghuram: Special Educator and Founder of Saksham01:38 Anjena's Journey: From Voice Trainer to Special Educator02:49 Realisation of Purpose02:59 A Call to Teach Special Needs Children05:13 Understanding the Role of a Special Educator10:53 The Importance of Visual and Auditory Perception15:26 Managing Expectations and Building Confidence23:39 Challenges in the Education System27:03 Impact of Screen Time on Children's Learning32:55 Recognizing Early Signs and Interventions33:44 Importance of Early Intervention36:00 Challenges in Early Diagnosis37:42 Parental Awareness and Responsibility39:30 Professional Support and Training41:55 Building Trust and Safe Spaces42:20 Understanding Special Educators54:06 Future Plans and Final Thoughts54:49 Therapeutic Interventions Explained59:05 Sensory Integration and Its Importance