What if your procrastination, freezing, snapping or shutting down isn't laziness, but your nervous system trying to protect you?

In our latest episode, Ann Thomas sits down with Dr Evelet Sequeira, medical doctor, mental health trainer and certified life coach, to understand what nervous system regulation really means, especially for neurodivergent adults and the families raising neurodivergent children.

Dr Evelet has spent more than a decade working across mental health, life skills and social impact programmes, and has conducted over 200 trainings reaching thousands of people. Today, she works closely with adults with ADHD, many of them diagnosed late, who arrive exhausted after years of masking, pushing through and being told they are "lazy" or "useless."

Together, Ann and Dr Evelet unpack what happens inside us when we say, "I know I need to do it, but I can't get myself to do it," why "just calm down" never works, and why safety has to come before change, for children and adults alike.

In this conversation, we explore:

* What a regulated and a dysregulated nervous system look like in everyday life.

* Why we freeze, cry or lash out when someone yells at us.

* How the ADHD brain is wired for threat, and what hypervigilance does to the body.

* Executive function explained: why it is biology, not a character flaw.

* How ADHD and rejection sensitivity show up in relationships.

* Fear-based vs love-based parenting, and why "instant" parenting backfires.

* Why so many ADHD adults break down in their late 30s and early 40s.

* The "minimum viable day" and the "rule of three" for low-energy days.

* Practical regulation tools: breathwork, grounding, cold water and building recovery into the workday.

* How ADHD shows up differently for men and women across life stages.

* The difference between guilt and shame, and why being seen matters so much.

One of the central ideas in this conversation is that regulation happens in the body, not by thought. It's not you versus the child. It's you and the child versus the issue at hand.

Timestamps:

00:00 Cold Open

00:41 Welcome to Just Your Normal Missfit

02:45 What Is Nervous System Regulation?

05:11 Regulated vs Dysregulated Responses

08:06 Why We Freeze When Someone Yells

09:36 When Every Emotion Comes Out as Tears

11:21 The ADHD Brain and Emotional Overwhelm

13:21 Hypervigilance Explained

16:31 Why "Calm Down" Doesn't Work

19:29 Messy Rooms and Parenting Pressure

22:31 Executive Function Explained

25:31 ADHD, Texts and Relationships

27:48 When a Teen Avoids Class

32:29 Fear-Based vs Love-Based Parenting

35:22 Why ADHD Adults Break Down in Their 30s and 40s

37:48 Safety, Strengths and the Minimum Viable Day

40:35 Your Child's Timeline vs Yours

41:12 Assessment, Medication and Coaching

46:04 The Rule of Three

48:36 Interest, Dopamine and Building Habits

51:23 Can Neurodivergent People Thrive at Work?

53:21 Building Recovery Into the Workday

56:28 Empathy and Sensing Injustice

1:00:08 ADHD Across Gender and Life Stages

1:06:34 How a Coach Protects Her Own Energy

1:09:29 Guilt vs Shame

1:12:30 Parenting With ADHD

1:14:49 You Are a Good Mother

If this conversation resonates with you, share it with a parent, partner, colleague, or anyone who has ever been called "lazy" for struggling.

Subscribe to Just Your Normal Missfit for more conversations about neurodivergence, mental health, and the many ways we experience the world.

Watch full episode on Youtube: https://youtu.be/j3TKHwx-TM8

Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/justyournormalmissfit/

And discover more about neurodivergent help, resources and tools with The Misfit Collaborative: https://www.instagram.com/themisfitcollaborative/

#ADHD #AdultADHD #NervousSystemRegulation #Neurodivergent #ADHDIndia #LateDiagnosis #ADHDParenting #MentalHealth #JustYourNormalMissfit

What if, instead of asking how to fix a child, we asked what the child needs from us?

In our latest episode, Ann Thomas sits down with Tanvi Singh, social entrepreneur, mental health activist, and Director of the Leap of Love Foundation, to explore what it means to create safer, more inclusive environments for children.

Tanvi’s journey from physics and technology to social work has led her to work with children from marginalised communities, government schools, educators, parents, and volunteers. Through this work, she has encountered the many ways that poverty, social privilege, access to education, family environments, and neurodivergence intersect with a child’s everyday experiences.

Together, Ann and Tanvi unpack why mental health is about more than diagnosis or crisis management, why a child’s behaviour needs to be understood in the context of their environment, and why safety must come before expectations.

In this conversation, we explore:

- What volunteering can teach us about purpose and community.

- Why safety and emotional well-being matter alongside education.

- How privilege shapes our understanding of what is “normal.”

- Neurodivergence in classrooms, diagnosis, and the difference between symptoms and labels.

- The challenges of accessing disability documentation, government schemes, and support.

- Why children need agency, not just adults telling them what to do.

- How to talk to children about sex, consent, boundaries, and safety.

- Why confidentiality does not mean promising secrecy.

- How parents’ emotional regulation influences their children.

- What it means to be a safe, responsible adult.

- How the Leap of Love Foundation hopes to make research-backed, accessible tools available to more families.

One of the central ideas in this conversation is that children do not exist in isolation from their environments. Their behaviour, struggles, and needs cannot always be understood by looking at the child alone. Sometimes, the adults around them need to change, too.

Timestamps:

00:00 Meet Tanvi Singh

02:42 From Physics to Purpose

04:13 Why Volunteering Feels Good

05:55 Leap of Love Approach

09:26 Life in Underserved Homes

13:08 Mental Health Before Milestones

16:56 Dignity Over Saviorism

24:27 Child Agency and Feedback

30:40 Spotting Neurodivergence

35:19 Safety and Parent Support

40:00 Preventing Early Marriage

44:40 Sex Education and Consent

49:17 Diagnosis Paperwork Reality

51:26 Bureaucracy Blocks Access

53:24 Policy Maze Across States

55:18 Classroom Perceptions

56:01 Stop Fixing Kids

58:17 Safe Adult Boundaries

01:01:41 Confidentiality Not Secrecy

01:04:28 Parents Regulate First

01:12:35 Giving Kids Agency

01:20:11 Future Plans and Research

01:22:50 Animal Welfare Expansion

01:25:06 Joy of Volunteering Story

01:28:21 How to Reach and Fund

01:32:39 Rapid Fire Takeaways

01:36:01 Staying Hopeful in Activism

01:40:32 Final Reflections and Signoff

If this conversation resonates with you, share it with a parent, educator, caregiver, or anyone working towards a more inclusive world.

Subscribe to Just Your Normal Missfit for more conversations about neurodivergence, mental health, and the many ways we experience the world.

Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/justyournormalmissfit/

And discover more about neurodivergent help, resources and tools with The Misfit Collaborative: https://www.instagram.com/themisfitcollaborative/

What does it actually mean to live with ADHD, beyond focus, distraction, and the stereotypes?In this episode of Just Your Normal Missfit, Ann Thomas speaks with Ankita Jagtiani Dadachanji, an internationally trained ADHD coach and POSH Consultant who works with adults navigating executive dysfunction, procrastination, overwhelm, emotional regulation and the everyday realities of ADHD.Diagnosed with ADHD herself, Ankita brings both lived experience and professional expertise to the conversation. Together, they explore what ADHD can look like in adulthood, particularly in the Indian context, and why so much of it can remain invisible.From trying to force yourself into rigid routines to understanding why you can manage everyone else's life but struggle with your own, this conversation gets into the less visible parts of ADHD.We talk about:• Why ADHD can go undiagnosed for years• The Indian context of ADHD, stigma and access to support• Structure vs. rigidity• Why consistency may need a new definition• The all-or-nothing mindset and perfectionism• Procrastination, overwhelm and task initiation• Executive dysfunction and why knowing what to do doesn't always mean being able to do it• Masking, discipline and the hidden effort behind looking “organised”• The ADHD tax and the emotional cost of constantly feeling like you’ve failed• Interest-based motivation and mundane tasks• Emotional regulation and big feelings• Why women are often diagnosed later• The difference between a therapist, coach and psychiatrist• Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)• Whether to disclose ADHD at work• ADHD and friendships, reminders and “out of sight, out of mind”• What to realistically expect from an ADHD coach• What neuro-affirming support can actually look likeMost importantly, this is a conversation about building fluid structures that work with your brain, rather than constantly trying to force your brain into someone else's definition of “normal.”Timestamps00:00 Meet Ankita ADHD Coach01:02 Career Pivot and Lockdown01:49 Diagnosis and Indian Context07:17 Why ADHD Feels Everywhere11:04 Who Seeks ADHD Coaching17:50 Structure vs Rigidity19:54 Self-Compassion and Delegating28:28 Redefining Consistency33:24 All or Nothing Mindset36:49 Task Initiation and Overwhelm39:27 Executive Dysfunction Explained43:15 Masking Discipline and Support49:28 ADHD at Work Impulsivity50:31 Stop Blurting Strategies52:31 Work Masking Burnout54:38 Notes That You Can Find56:20 ADHD Tax And PINCH58:21 Motivation Is Interest01:00:41 Mundane Tasks Systems01:04:44 Big Feelings Injustice01:07:33 Emotional Regulation Tools01:09:20 Why Women Diagnosed Late01:13:47 Therapist Coach Psychiatrist01:20:45 RSD And Medication01:22:47 Disclosing ADHD At Work01:25:03 Friendship And Reminders01:26:36 When To Hire A Coach01:29:52 Neuro Affirming Support01:36:10 Closing TakeawaysIf this conversation resonates with you, share it with someone who might need to hear that they aren't simply lazy, undisciplined or “bad at life.”Just Your Normal Missfit is a space for conversations around neurodivergence, identity, mental health, culture and the many ways human brains experience the world.Stream this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/WULWnTOLgicFollow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/justyournormalmissfit/And discover more about neurodivergent help, resources and tools with The Misfit Collaborative: https://www.instagram.com/themisfitcollaborative/#ADHD #ADHDIndia #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergence #ADHDHelp #ExecutiveDysfunction #ADHDAwareness