If you feel like you’ve been doing all the work—working on your mindset, taking action, making real progress… and still feel like something’s missing—this episode is for you.

It might not be that you’re doing the wrong work.
It might be that there’s something deeper you were never taught how to do:

Holding your own presence with warmth.

At the end of the day, this podcast is about mindset, identity, and overcoming the barriers that keep us from building and living a life that’s true to us—not one shaped by fear, avoidance, or others’ expectations.

And while many episodes focus on breaking patterns, rewiring beliefs, and taking aligned action…

...some, like this one, are about helping you bring your whole, integrated, free self into that journey.

That means sometimes we’ll turn to the wisdom of thought leaders and pioneers in emotional healing and human development whose teachings offer the kind of scaffolding we didn’t even know we needed.

In today’s episode, we lean into the wise teachings of Tara Brach on the suffering created by a sense of severed belonging—from ourselves, from each other, from other species, and from this world—and how learning to nurture, both ourselves and others, can serve as the pathway back to belonging and wholeness.

From Tara Brach's website:

Tara Brach, Ph.D., is a spiritual teacher, psychologist, and author of several books including the international bestsellers Radical Acceptance, Radical Compassion, and Trusting the Gold. Her teaching blends Western psychology and Eastern spiritual practices, mindful attention to our inner life, and a dedication to creating a more just, equitable, and loving world. Tara is the founder of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington. With Jack Kornfield, co-founded Banyan and the Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Training Program...

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If this episode gave language to something you’ve been struggling to name—or softened a part of you that’s been holding it all together—consider exploring more of Tara’s work. Her teachings offer the kind of grounded, heart-centered support that can help you return to yourself with compassion, clarity, and care.

If this episode resonated, please consider sharing this podcast, as well as Tara Brach's work. You never know who you may help by doing so.

Inside this episode:

• A full reading of Tara Brach’s blog post: Where Does It Hurt? Healing the Wounds of Severed Belonging (February 26, 2017)
• Reflections from her 2018 talk: Survival of the Nurtured: Our Path to Belonging (Published November 2018)
• A deeper look into the concept of severed belonging
• Why spiritual reparenting might be the thing beneath the thing
• The shift from “fight, flight, freeze” to “attend and befriend”
• What it means to treat your own presence with warm regard
• A reminder that belonging isn’t gone. It’s just been forgotten. And we can remember.

Cited resources:

Tara Brach's website: https://www.tarabrach.com/

• For blog posts, podcast + talk archives + guided meditations + courses + books

Quotes:

We are not the survival of the fittest. We are the survival of the nurtured.” - Louis Cozolino

“To love someone is to learn the song in their heart and to sing it to them when they have forgotten.” - Arne Garborg

For 1:1 Coaching with Kari:

• Click here to book a free 90-minute, deep-dive coaching call
• Connect on Instagram

You’ve always been affirming something—whether you realized it or not.

In this episode, I explore why affirmations can feel cringey to some and grounding to others—and how much of that has to do with language, not logic. I break down the connection between affirmations and self-talk, the neuroscience of repetition and identity, and why most of us have been unintentionally affirming negative beliefs for years.

I also guide you through a fun, visual, spy-movie-style exercise to help rewire what your brain is filtering for—so you can start aligning your self-talk with who you truly are. This isn’t about becoming someone new, per se. It’s about syncing with the version of you that’s already in "your file."

Key Topics Covered

• What affirmations really are—and why they’ve been misunderstood
• The connection between negative self-talk and negative affirmation
• Louise Hay’s legacy and the present-tense “I am” structure
• Why your brain filters reality based on what it’s told to find (RAS)
• The left-turn / right-turn metaphor as a model for identity redirection
• The spy movie visual: why pulling your “file” matters psychologically
• How to use emotion, repetition, and intention to build new beliefs

Takeaways

• If you’ve been repeating it with emotion and conviction, it’s an affirmation.
• Resistance to positive affirmations often comes from the label—not the process.
• Your brain is already affirming something. The difference is whether you’re choosing it.
• You’ve been making left turns unconsciously—right turns are just as available.
• The RAS follows the directive you give it. You get to tell your brain what to look for.
• Visual exercises (like the “agent stat screen”) help bypass dissonance and let you experience change—on an embodied level.

What To Do Next:

• Share this episode with someone who’s outgrown their old file.
• Leave a rating or review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts to help others find the show.
• Listen to Episode 102 with endurance runner, teacher, and mental health advocate Casey Stillwagon—founder of @Run5555km. Learn the personal story behind his mission to run 5,555 kilometers, the heart behind the mantra Stronger Every Stride, and how you can set your own goal and join the movement by tagging your runs with #StrongerEveryStride, #Run5555km, and @Run5555km.
• Every mile counts. Every step counts. Every person matters. Thank you for listening.

Cited In This Episode:

Louise Hay

Muppets Most Wanted (Clip - Constantine Uncovered)
Mission Impossible (Ethan Hunt)
The Bourne Identity (Jason Bourne)
Alias (Sydney Bristow)
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (Official Trailer)
Jumanji: The Next Level (Official Trailer)

For 1:1 Coaching with Kari:

• Click here to book a free 90-minute, deep-dive coaching call
• Connect on Instagram

Casey Stillwagon is a teacher, ultrarunner, and mental health advocate based in Tokyo, Japan, and the human behind the uplifting Instagram account @Run5555km.

Along with the mantra, Stronger Every Stride, Casey shares messages of hope, self-compassion, and quiet resilience to remind others, especially those struggling, of the inner strength we all carry.

Earlier this year, Casey launched a personal challenge: to run 5,555 kilometers in one year. The number 5, as you’ll hear, carries special meaning.

But the goal is about more than distance or personal achievement.

It’s about sharing the message that we can all grow stronger, physically, mentally, and emotionally, one stride at a time.

Casey has completed several endurance races, including the Fuji 5 Lakes Ultra and, most recently, the Fuji 3 Lakes Ultra Marathon, and is now quietly training for his ultimate goal: Japan’s largest 100-mile trail race, the Mt. Fuji 100.

Running hasn’t just strengthened his body and mindset — it has transformed his life. It became a healthy outlet for coping, processing, and navigating life’s challenges. It helped him quit smoking while in the Navy, achieve three years of sobriety, and continue pushing beyond what he once believed was possible. Ultimately, running helped him build a life grounded in values, discipline, clarity, and a deep sense of purpose.

In this conversation, Casey shares what running has taught him about emotional growth, why grace and self-compassion are vital for mental health, and what he’d tell his younger self.

We also talk about the difference between pain and suffering, the toughness resilience requires, and how @Run5555km helps him stay motivated, and the message he hopes to send to anyone struggling: “What you’re looking for is inside of you."

⚠️ Content Warning:

While our focus is on mental health, resilience, and inner strength, this episode briefly mentions a loved one’s suicide attempt in 2013. We recognize this topic may be sensitive for some. Please check in and take good care of yourself. If this is a topic that may be emotionally sensitive, pause, and consider listening when you’re in a space that feels private, supported, and right for you. Thank you.

If you’re struggling:

Please don’t carry it alone. There is help, and people who care. Talk to a therapist, counselor, or someone you trust. For immediate support — whether for yourself or someone else — the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available 24/7. Call or text 988, or visit 988lifeline.org.

U.S. Veterans: Dial 988 and press 1, or visit veteranscrisisline.net.

Support in Japan:

• TELL Lifeline (English): 0800-300-8355 | telljp.com/lifeline
• Inochi no Denwa (Japanese): 0570-783-556 (10am–10pm)
• Tokyo Suicide Prevention Center: 03-5286-9090 (8pm–6am daily; from 5pm on Tuesdays)
• Emergencies: Call 119 (ambulance/fire) or 110 (police)

Cited in Episode:

• Book | What I Talk About When I Talk About Running by Haruki Murakami
• Races | Fuji 5 Lakes & 3 Lakes Ultra Marathons
• Song | One More Light by Linkin Park (Official Video)

Connect with Casey:

Instagram: @run5555km

If Stronger Every Stride resonates with you, consider joining the movement. Whether you run 5,555 km in a year like Casey or follow your own pace, share your progress and tag @Run5555km with #StrongerEveryStride or #Run5555km to help spread mental health awareness and hope.

For 1:1 Coaching with Kari, visit KariWatterson.com

What if the real reason you keep restarting your goals isn’t about discipline — but about how uncomfortable it feels to watch yourself do the journey imperfectly?

In this episode, I’m naming something I call perfectionist resetting — a hidden form of perfectionism that keeps us chasing clean slates instead of staying in the process long enough, messy enough, to actually cross the line.

If you’ve ever struggled with feeling like you had to start over every time things got messy, this episode is for you.

What You’ll Learn:

• Why perfectionist resets feel almost compulsive — and why recognizing the pattern matters.
  
  
• How shifting from clean slate thinking to completion thinking can give you a real shot at achieving big goals that once felt impossible.

Why It Matters:

With perfectionist resetting, it’s the compulsion — the deep discomfort with doing the journey imperfectly — that drives the cycle of starting over and burning out.

Perfectionist resetting keeps you stuck restarting.

Persistent progress is what moves you forward — even when the path is messy — and finally gives you a real shot at succeeding.

Cited in this episode:

• Hidden Figures (Official Trailer) - 20th Century Fox

For 1:1 Coaching with Kari:

• Website
• Email: kari@kariwatterson.com

What would you share if you had just 45 minutes to offer someone a few tools that might stick with them for life?

That’s the question that sparked this special 100th episode.

When I was invited to speak to my daughter’s high school class, I asked myself:

What are the mindset tools I wish I’d known earlier?

The ones I return to again and again — in my life & in coaching others.

And the ones I’d want students to walk away with — the kind that cut through personal growth noise & get to the root of things faster.

That reflection became a class handout (linked in the show notes).

Which led to a rich, ongoing conversation with my friend & fellow coach, Ken Li.

And eventually — this episode.

If you remember Ken from Episode 65, you know why I was excited to bring him back. He’s a career & confidence coach, a trusted friend, & someone I deeply respect — not just for what he teaches, but for how he lives it.

Together, we each share three coaching tips that have helped us & our clients make meaningful, lasting change.

The kind of insights that:

• Shift how you see yourself
• Help you turn longstanding obstacles on their head
• Give you something tangible to work with and apply today

Whether you’re starting out or starting over, this episode will help you reconnect with what excites you, expand what feels possible, & reimagine your path forward.

I asked Ken to host this one — and the conversation he leads us through is rich, expansive, practical, & refreshingly fun.

We hope you enjoy.

Key Moments:

06:05 How we came about this topic

09:10 Process for selecting our top choices

10:10 Start with "What is the good life?"

14:10 Kari's 1st: The importance of awareness as it leads to choice

20:30 Ken's 1st: Mindset Before Tactics | Before Starting Any Project, Don’t Forget This

27:50 Ken's 2nd: Choosing the mindset of falling in love with the unknown | Fall in Love with the Unknown

35:55 Kari's 2nd: Adopting first principles thinking

42:10 Kari's 3rd: Learning the skill of silencing mental chatter

47:15 Relationship between negative thinking & cortisol; toll of chronic stress on body

48:00 fMRI visualization to silence chatter

54:50 Ken's 3rd: Define your own standard | I Finally Figured Out What This Maxim Means; Ditch Perfectionism, Dolly Parton Style; How Do You Know if Your Writing is Good?

1:00:00 Bonus tip: Design your life from your dreams, not your fears.

Connect With Ken Li:

• Website
• LinkedIn
• Email: kenli@donthatethejob.com

For 1:1 Coaching with Kari:

• Website
• Email: kari@kariwatterson.com

Cited In This Episode:

• HS Class Handout (referenced in intro)

We’ve heard a lot about inner child work—and many of you might also be familiar with reparenting.

But what happens when the inner parent you created to support yourself becomes the one holding you back?

This episode was born out of my own frustration with that voice in my head—the one that once helped me feel grounded and safe, but slowly turned into something else.

What I now call: the hovering or helicopter inner parent.

The voice that micromanages your attempts to stretch and grow.
That interrupts boldness with an overabundance of caution.
That tries to “protect” you by keeping you small.

At one point, that inner parent may have been useful.
But there comes a time when it stops strengthening you—and starts enabling you to stay stuck.

If this resonates, I see you. I feel you.
And this episode is for you.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why the inner parent becomes overprotective—and what it’s costing you
• What it means to stop helicopter parenting your own growth
• How to liberate yourself—without burning everything down
• Why freeing yourself might be the most powerful thing you can model for your kids (and those you love)

If you’ve felt stalled, strangely exhausted,
or like you’re circling a dream without ever stepping into it—|
this conversation might offer the language you didn’t know you were missing.

You’re not here to be cushioned.
You’re here to be tested and made stronger.
You’re here to enter the training ground—
and become who you know you’re capable of being.

Before, those words might’ve felt like hustle culture.
But now, they feel like the path you’ve been dying to be on.

If this resonates, then you may feel like a restless racehorse before the gates open.

This isn’t about rejecting growth or betraying your healing.

It’s about recognizing when the inner parent you once needed…
has become the very thing standing in your way.

And learning how to ask it—clearly, gracefully, but with conviction—
to step back so the real you can step forward.

If you’ve been circling a desire—
If you’re exhausted by the internal stop-start—

This episode might be the mirror you’ve been waiting for.

Let’s go.

Cited Resource:

Article | What Kids Raised By Helicopter Parents Are Like as Adults by Maressa Brown (updated September 2022) via Parents.com.

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If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to share it with someone who might find it helpful.

Life can be so much more than we think. And that's where we start - with your thinking. See how your thoughts have been holding you back, and how mindset tools can help you cut through the noise and move forward.

To learn more about how 1:1 mindset coaching can help you change your life, visit KariWatterson.com.

We all have an inner voice.

It helps us plan, reflect, problem-solve, and create meaning.

But when that same voice starts spiraling into rumination, self-doubt, or mental noise—or chatter—it can become the very thing that keeps us stuck.

In this episode, we take a deep dive into the science and psychology of the inner voice, drawing on the groundbreaking research of Dr. Ethan Kross, author of the bestselling book, Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It.

You'll walk away with a deeper understanding of how the inner voice works, why it sometimes malfunctions, and how to shift from being hijacked by chatter to using your voice as a tool for clarity, direction, and emotional regulation.

This episode is for you if:

• You find yourself looping on the same thoughts without resolution
• You struggle to focus or feel paralyzed by overthinking
• You're exhausted by your own thinking
• You’re ready to stop fighting your mind and start working with it

We explore:

• What the inner voice actually is (hint: it’s not just self-talk—it’s part of your brain’s verbal working memory system)
• Why your brain loops on certain thoughts (and why it’s not your fault)
• The neuroscience of cognitive overload, and how chatter hijacks executive function
• How your inner voice shapes identity and decision-making—and what happens when it disappears altogether (as seen in the remarkable case of Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor)
• Practical ways to recognize when you’re in chatter—and how to regain perspective

Plus:

A series of self-reflection questions to help you notice the patterns of your own inner voice in your daily life:

• When is your inner voice most helpful?
• When does your inner voice tend to turn into chatter?
• What role does your inner voice play in shaping your sense of self?
• What situations tend to ‘jam’ your system?
• Are there types of stress—performance, social, emotional—that make your inner voice louder or more critical?
• How often do you realize you’re narrating your life in the moment?
• What might become possible for you if you knew how to work with your inner voice—without letting it overtake your attention, your energy, or your peace of mind?

Even just beginning to ask these questions puts you in a position of greater agency. And that’s the purpose of this episode—not just to understand the science, but to use it as a lens to see yourself more clearly… and choose differently.

Cited in this episode:

• Chatter: The Voice In Your Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It by Dr. Ethan Kross
• My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey by Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor
• TED Talk: My Stroke of Insight by Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor
• Ep. 97 - Salience: What It Is and Why Understanding It Can Change the Game
• Ep. 72 - How to Bounce Back Faster

If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to share it with someone who might find it helpful.

Life can be so much more than we think. And that's where we start - with your thinking. See how your thoughts have been holding you back, and how mindset tools can help you cut through the noise and move forward.

To learn more about how 1:1 mindset coaching can help you change your life, visit KariWatterson.com.

Why do certain thoughts feel impossible to shake?

Why does your brain keep looping on self-doubt, worry, or fear—especially when you know those thoughts aren’t helping?

In this short but powerful mini-episode, we unpack the neuroscience of salience—your brain’s “this matters” tagging system—and how it fuels mental chatter, emotional suffering, and stuck patterns.

Inspired by insights from Dr. Ethan Kross’s book Chatter, this episode explores:

• What salience is (and why it’s not your fault you keep looping)
  
  
• How emotion, repetition, and focus train your brain to prioritize unhelpful thoughts
  
  
• How to shift the loop by redirecting your attention—on purpose

If you’ve ever wondered why old beliefs, inner critics, or identity doubts keep resurfacing… this concept might change everything.

You’re not broken—your inner voice mechanism might just be glitching and running a pattern that's making you feel that way.

The best news is, when you understand salience, you can help train your brain to run new patterns — patterns that will help you stop looping and start building the life you actually want to be living.

Cited resource:

• Chatter: The Voice In Our Head, Why It Matters and How To Harness It by Ethan Kross

If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to share it with someone who might find it helpful.

• Follow me on Instagram
• Find me on LinkedIn
• Get 1:1 life and mindset coaching

Life can be so much more than we think. And that's where we start - with your thinking. See how your thoughts have been holding you back, and how mindset tools can help you cut through the noise and move forward.

At the end of the day, we have one life.

How do you want to live yours?

Think about it.

And then, let's get to work.

Book a call. Visit KariWatterson.com.