Fatness is not a choice, for anyone. Period.

This is something I hear myself repeating in almost every video I make on social media, whether I’m talking about diet culture, body image or other fat issues. Inevitably, when I speak up, someone enters my comments criticising me, my body, my assumed eating habits and lifestyle.

The assumption is always the same: everyone is fat for the same reason, they eat the same, lead the same lifestyles, and are fat by choice.

Join me for episode 30 of The Culture Of It All, where we’re sitting down for a Fat Chat and exploring WHY people still believe that being fat is a choice. We’ll discuss why this belief is outdated, the misunderstanding of fat bodies, and why I still have empathy for folks who believe it’s a choice.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction and Welcome

01:35 Social Media and Fatphobia

06:21 Diet Cycling and Personal Experiences

10:15 Fundamental Misunderstandings of Fat Bodies

13:06 Societal Narratives and Weight Loss

17:12 Hope for Fat Acceptance and Liberation

In this episode, we’re delving into the complexities of diet culture, discussing the 3 red flags associated with every single diet, and the manipulative tactics of the diet industry. We’ll address the importance of understanding personal preferences in eating and the subjective nature of what constitutes “healthy eating”. I encourage you to practice discernment with your food choices and to recognize the pervasive influence of diet culture within our society.

In this episode, Melanie shares her personal journey towards body neutrality and fat acceptance, exploring the negative impact which dieting had on her physical, emotional and mental health from a young age. She reflects on her childhood, and the struggles of being a teen and trying to fit in and conform to certain stereotypes. She discusses the challenges she experienced when starting a business, making weight loss her career because it was the only constant in her life, and how her life of dieting impacted her success. You’ll hear how Melanie started to question different areas of her life, what led to her quitting diets all together and what she’s working towards now.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Personal Reflections

07:35 Content Warning For This Episode

08:59 Childhood Experiences with Diet Culture

17:56 CW: hiding food, binge eating

19:33 90s Diet Culture, Teens & Conforming to Feminine Ideals

25:22 Married Life & The Pursuit of Thinness

29:43 Experiencing Body Privilege

32:42 Pregnancy & Body Image

38:08 Personal Development & Weight Stigma

43:15 Reflecting on a Decade of Change

49:32 Reminder That Our Thoughts Can Change, Just Like Our Bodies

I knew, from the moment I got pregnant I didn’t want my kid to have the same body image issues I’d spent a lifetime experiencing. To be honest, when I got pregnant and even in the first few years of parenting, I believed that I didn’t want them to have the same perceived “weight issues” as me, but the truth is I wanted them to be thin.

That felt like the only solution at the time, because it was the only one I’d ever been taught. Once he started school, and as I left the health and fitness industry behind me, I started to get curious:

* Was I really focused on health, or thinness?

* Were my actions helping them have a positive relationship with their body, or teaching them to control their body through diet and exercise?

* Was I teaching them binary rules around food? e.g that some foods are good or bad? And how do I make that determination?

The answer, unfortunately was a resounding YES. Despite everything I experienced at the hand of diet culture, I found myself repeating the same behaviours.

It was during the pandemic that my relationship to diet culture really shifted, I started learning more about intuitive eating, fat liberation and after being body shamed - under the guise of “health” in early 2022 - I decided I was done dieting and pursuing intentional weight loss.

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Unlearning my internalised fatphobia, ditching diets, and healing my body image is one of the best things I did for myself AND my kid. I don’t claim to be an expert, I’m doing my best and figuring it out as I go, but as I share in this episode a number of friends have asked me how I’m building this body positive relationship with my kid and it’s been a topic of conversation on my socials too.

So I thought we should take a deep dive and talk about ways we can encourage body respect in young people, and how to end the inheritance of body shame.

Topics discussed in episode 27:

* The negative impact of restrictive food behaviors in children

* Why I don’t believe it’s my responsibility to prevent fatness in my child

* How I supported my child after he was body shamed

* Language and tools that encourage him to respect his and other people bodies

* The negative impact of diet talk and diet culture in the household

* Questions I ask myself when navigating body image related questions or experiences with my kid

Chapters:

00:00 Exploring Parental Responsibility in Body Image

02:44 The Impact of Fat Shaming on Children

03:38 Creating a Trusting Parent-Child Relationship

06:01 Breaking the Cycle of Diet Culture

09:53 Reflecting on Childhood Body Image

14:44 Navigating Parenting with Body Image Issues

20:42 Raising A Body Confident Kid & Teaching Body Respect

25:52 Parental Responsibility in a Fatphobic World

30:42 Questions for Weight Neutral Parenting

🗓️ Next week:

In last week's episode, I shared that fatphobia has always stemmed from the belief that weight is mostly controlled by diet and exercise. It’s why we’ve been subjected to decades of diet programs, products and books focused on calories in and calories out. It has also perpetuated the narrative that if you “try hard enough” you can also be thin, or manage your weight.

With the rise in use of GLP-1s for weight loss, and the ease at which people can access them privately with very little screening – we’ve watched as diet talk has shifted from how many calories someone is eating to whether it’s an injection day and they’re going to crap themselves.

Seriously. These are the casual, and dangerous conversations happening across social media. And whilst my personal view is these drugs are going to cause more harm in the longterm, I also know people are prescribed this medication for health reasons, and they deserve access to the healthcare their body needs.

The Culture Of It All! Podcast is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

We’re not only seeing the rise in use of weight loss drugs, we are seeing a rampant rise in fatphobia as a result. Because why on earth would someone not choose to be thin when we’re being sold on a miracle cure?

* Weight loss drugs will not end fat phobia or lead to fat liberation, quite the opposite actually

* These drugs are not a miracle “cure” for weight loss, because being fat is not a disease

* These drugs are harming people in ED recovery - even if they’re not taking them - because GLP1-s are being celebrated for the very things people are trying to unlearn.

* Like with any medication, there are side effects and contraindications - we should not be asking people to choose between their health and thinness - because those two things are not the same

* Here in the UK people are choosing to purchase them privately with poor screening leading to dangerous side effects for people with pre existing chronic illnesses

* They are being marketed as an act of ‘self care’, which is something that is often a taboo topic amongst the fat community as we are often discriminated against in ‘self care’ spaces

* It’s allowing companies to use phrases like ‘food addiction’ and “ob*sity is a disease” in order to manipulate the public into believing these are the only options

In today’s mini episode we’re going to explore how we went from the rise and decline of body positivity in the 2010s to ‘thin is in’ and how this is leading to an increasingly fatphobic society. We’ll also talk about how politics, and facism play a part in this rhetoric, and why it’s going to cause more harm, not just for fat folks, in the long term.

Thanks for reading The Culture Of It All! Podcast! This post is public so feel free to share it.

Takeaways:

There is a correlation between the rise in GLP-1s and the rise in fatphobia.

Fatphobia is more complex than just a fear of fat people.

The diet industry thrives on control and fear.

Weight loss drugs are marketed as an act of self-care.

Fatness is not a choice, and it is not a moral failing.

Unlearning fatphobia is crucial for mental health.

Diet behaviors go beyond just counting calories.

The rise in fatphobia is a system designed to fail.

Internalised fatphobia has nowhere to go after weight loss.

The marketing of weight loss drugs reinforces fatphobic attitudes.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to Fatphobia and GLP-1s

01:59 Understanding Fatphobia: Definitions and Misconceptions

04:21 The Role of Diet Culture and Weight Loss Drugs

06:37 Marketing Tactics and the Perception of Weight Loss

08:27 Political Instability and the Rise of Fatphobia

10:25 The Impact of Weight Loss on Fatphobia

12:13 Internalized Fatphobia and Its Consequences

14:13 Fashion Rules and Body Image

15:42 Conclusion: Unlearning Fatphobia for Better Health

The Culture Of It All! Podcast is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

🗓️ Next Week: Raising Body-Confident Kids in a Body-Shaming World

Fatphobia is on the rise, so today, we’re going to talk about it.

Fatphobia, or anti-fatness, is the often socially acceptable form of discrimination and negative attitudes towards folks in fat bodies. This includes stereotypes and misconceptions that fat folks are less disciplined or lack self-control compared to their smaller bodied peers. Fatphobia is not just name calling or bullying someone for their size, it’s rooted in racism, and the transatlantic slave trade.

Thanks for reading The Culture Of It All! Podcast! This post is public so feel free to share it.

In this episode we will be exploring:

What fatphobia is, and why it’s harmful

Examples of fatphobia within society, specifically healthcare

Examples of internalised fatphobia, and ways we were exposed to it, even as children

And, I’ll be finishing the episode with 6 tips for unlearning our internalised fatphobia.

Unlearning our own internalised fatphobia is something we have to do as an individual, accepting that we have also been part of the problem - no matter our body size - and recognising some of the thoughts and judgements we make to ourselves and others.

If you’ve ever heard yourself say…

“I’m not as fat as that person”

If you’ve ever commented on someone else’s body size or, perhaps assumed you know someone’s health, lifestyle or ability based on their size?

That’s fatphobia.

You can file this under “Once you see it, you can’t unsee it!”

So dive in with me, we’re covering a lot, and I promise you it’s worth it.

Takeaways:

Fatphobia is a societal issue that affects everyone.

Internalized fatphobia can lead to self-discrimination and negative self-image.

Fatphobia is rooted in racism.

Weight is influenced by numerous factors beyond personal control.

Unlearning fatphobia requires conscious effort and self-reflection.

Social media can perpetuate harmful beauty standards.

Advocacy for marginalised bodies is crucial in the fight against fatphobia.

Diverse voices in the fat acceptance movement are essential for change.

Challenging diet talk in everyday conversations is important.

Recognising one's worth is not tied to body size.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction & Content Warning

03:36 Melanie's Personal Experience With Fat Phobia

06:36 Understanding Fatphobia: Definitions and Examples

09:34 The Impact & Harm Of Fat Phobia

12:46 The Harmful Effects of Internalised Fatphobia

16:38 Understanding Internalized Fatphobia

19:30 Tip 1: Stop correlating weight & health with worth

21:20 Tip 2: Consider the experiences of people whose bodies differ from your own

23:41 Tip 3: Unfollow Accounts Perpetuating Fat Phobia

25:49 Tip 4: Reframing Fat Phobic Thoughts

28:56 Tip 5: Ditch The Diet Talk

33:55 Tip 6: Learn from fat liberationists & anti diet professionals

Links:

Fategories & The Fat Spectrum by Fluffy Kitten Party

Anti Diet & Fat Positive Resources

🗓️ Next Week:

Mini-sode: Fat phobia & The Rise Of GLP-1s

The Culture Of It All! Podcast is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Back in episode 01 we took a look at diet culture, but to be honest, my experience of diet culture, the diet industry, and understanding of how the two work together has evolved in the last year.

I’ve learned a lot more. I've experienced a lot more. And I feel a helluva lot more confident in talking about it with you today.

So in this episode, I'm going to be answering the questions:

What is diet culture?

How is it different from the diet industry?

Do they impact us in different ways?

And I encourage you to stick around till the end of the episode because I will be posing a question that completely knocked me off my diet culture axis the first time I heard it. It could also be used as a journal or writing prompt.

The Culture Of It All! Podcast is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Takeaways:

Diet culture is a system of beliefs that centese thinness.

The diet industry is a multi-billion dollar industry that preys on insecurities.

Diet culture impacts our mental health and self-worth.

Weight loss drugs may not lead to long-term health benefits.

Informed choices are crucial when considering health options.

Diet culture distracts us from pursuing our true passions.

The societal ideal of thinness is rooted in various forms of oppression.

Reflecting on health goals without weight loss is liberating.

Links Mentioned:

Fategories by Fluffy Kitten Party

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to Diet Culture

01:54 Understanding Diet Culture

04:26 The Impact of Diet Culture

05:18 The Diet Industry Explained

06:46 Do They Impact Us In Different Ways?

07:27 The Cycle of Diet Culture

08:42 Personal Reflections on Dieting

10:04 Encouragement for Informed Choices

🗓️ Next Week:

6 Tips for Unlearning Internalised Fat Phobia

Thanks for reading The Culture Of It All! Podcast! This post is public so feel free to share it.

Welcome to season 4 of The Culture Of It All!

I know, I left you hanging… for a flipping month no less 🫣 but I’m back, somewhat refreshed and more fired up than I have been in months. Two months of being fat and loud about it on TikTok, well, let’s just say: there are good, bad and unhinged stories to share.

A quick note before I get into the episode…

You might notice a few little changes. I spruced up my artwork, updated the podcast description and intro – this past year has helped me refine my voice and establish what I offer the fat community with confidence and clarity.

I’ve also decided to offer weekly episodes across all platforms, with you, my beautiful subscriber receiving episodes a week early. Instead of bonus episodes, you will receive access to videos, blogs, resources and a creative project that will become a regular resource.

I’m super excited about these changes, and to be able to deliver more resources and support to this community.

In this episode:

We’re starting off the new season with a catch up, because whilst I took a break from recording I’ve been busy finding a wonderful fat community on TikTok. It all started with my fashion videos, sharing my experiences as a fat person trying to find their ‘casual style’ and it’s kinda snowballed from there.

And then in early March I made a little video, like 15 seconds and it went sort of, kinda, maybe viral? At least viral for me.

I’ve been creating content for a decade, and have never experienced something like this. Over a few days I was confronted with all of my biggest fears, some of which had been festering since 2016, and I survived… and when you tune into episode 23 I’m sharing the good, the bad and the unhinged.

* Melanie discusses the fears that have held her back as a fat content creator.

* She highlights the negative impact of diet culture and fatphobia on her visibility.

* The conversation touches on the difference between skinny shaming and fat shaming.

* Melanie shares her experience with a viral video addressing an AI filter that promotes fat shaming.

* She emphasises the importance of community support

* Melanie reflects on her journey towards confidence and using her voice.

* The episode discusses the need for safe spaces for fat individuals online.

* Melanie expresses her commitment to advocating for fat acceptance and liberation.

* She concludes with a call to action for listeners to embrace life outside of dieting.

Thanks for reading The Culture Of It All! Podcast! This post is public so feel free to share it.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to Season Four

00:25 The Journey of a Fat Content Creator

04:50 The AI Chubby Filter

11:40 The Impact Of Visibility As A Fat Content Creator

15:58 Building Community and Support on TikTok

19:57 3 Much Needed Reminders From TikTok

25:38 Fashion, Body Image, and Fat Liberation

29:06 Conclusion and Future Directions

Next week:

I’m bringing you our first mini-sode… AND we’re taking a juicy deep dive into Diet Culture and The Diet Industry.

* What’s the difference?

* Do they work in isolation?

* Why are they so harmful?

All the answers and more next Tuesday pals…

Finally, I’d be so grateful if you could spread the word about The Culture Of It All, whether it’s here on substack, sharing the email or tagging the show on socials. When I started the show last year, I knew it was about laying a foundation, getting myself comfortable with speaking up and finding my flow. For the first time in my career, I’m not afraid to toot my own horn TOOT TOOT, and ask for support.

I’m SO ready for The Culture Of It All to be SEEN 👀 HEARD and CELEBRATED, just like the fat community. Thanks for being here, listening and any support you can offer.

The Culture Of It All! Podcast is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.