It’s a special day and by some miracle, Nancy remembered: It’s SMOKE ‘EM’s third anniversary, thus making this podcast the longest committed relationship of Sarah’s life. We celebrate with a quiz, riffing on a news week that brought us a bizarre manifesto, a podcast about eating the rich, a former politician who still inspires, the latest twist in a post-Roe landscape, a mac-and-cheese heist scheme and MORE! Also: What the New York Times’ 30 Greatest American songwriters got wrong and why his name is Billy Joel.

Also discussed:

* Sarah’s visit to Colossal Biosciences: Bring back the woolly mammoth!

* “We’re headed into Nutville”

* Blowing up pipelines

* The more freedom you give people, the more freedom they want?

* Would Sarah hate-f*ck Hasan Piker?

* More tragic attempts to pronounce “Douthat”

* Sarah’s first SUPERlove

* How telehealth changed the abortion landscape

* What would a GOOD biopic of Michael Jackson look like?

* Shout out, Amy’s frozen dinner macaroni and cheese

* Whither Tom Waits and Paul Westerberg?

REMINDER: Zoom hang for paid subscribers TOMORROW, Sunday, May 3, 5pm PT / 8pm ET, link sent day-of.

We have the perfect anniversary gift …

Jake Siegel talks about his new book The Information State, which explores how government and technology joined forces over the past century to squash dissent. Siegel is an editor at Tablet, an original thinker with great writing chops (our kinda guy), and he talks with Nancy and Sarah about the tools of information warfare he saw while serving in Iraq and Afghanistan, how the “war or terror” evolved into the “war on disinformation,” why Obama still has a lot to answer for, and the bizarre story of how a review of his book (on censorship, keep in mind) was mysteriously taken down.

Also discussed:

* Jake has the best voice

* “I held my anger very dear …”

* The hoax of the century, explained

* Cynical v. honest deception

* Why the DSA will always run your request up the comms chain

* What is it that constitutes property online?

* How much damn time did we spend on the Steele dossier?

* Did Jake go soft on Trump?

* Nancy credits Jake with getting her to report on Portland

* Institutional journalism is valuable (NR: Suck it, Nick Sortor)

* “The recognizable aesthetics and attitudes of American manhood by figures as diverse as Andy Griffith, Muhammad Ali, and Kurt Cobain.”

* “I feel like Dallas has the best-dressed people in America.”

Plus, R. Crumb comix, a movie that defies categorization, a visit to West Point, and much more!

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Eric Swalwell did not have a good week. Actually, last week was very bad, when articles hit CNN and The San Francisco Chronicle within hours of each other, a one-two punch alleging a series of unsavory acts, including sexual assault. Then earlier this week, another woman accused him of drugging, choking, and raping her. She’s filed a criminal complaint.

Swalwell has ended his run for governor, resigned from Congress and possibly public life. But what went on back there? The downfall was so fast, it’s worth slowing down the tape, especially if (like Sarah) last week happens to be when you learned a person named Eric Swalwell existed.

Nancy and Sarah’s conversation includes a discussion of drinking and consent, what we know (and don’t know) about roofies, and the strange impulse to return to a bad sexual situation and try to wrest back control.

Also discussed:

* Ft. Worth is the Brooklyn of Dallas

* Nancy confuses what she heard on The Fifth Column with real life

* If Katie Porter is the best California can do …

* PSA: Don’t fuck the interns

* “sexual revictimization cycle”

* Nancy offers a translation: If he has not seen you in five years and says he cannot stop thinking about you, he wants in your pants

* “Will you help me out?” 🤮

* A NYT story on fertility and aging … leaves out some details

* Why are younger women dating older men?

* Nobody likes the acronym MILK

Plus, 38-year-olds should not be on Snapchat, Michael Tracey has a point, a rare sports Hot Box, and much more!

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Swalwell’s downfall makes way for…

Nancy and Sarah talk about how watching Artemis II was the injection of awe we all needed. Nancy is reminded of a podcast she recently heard with former senator Ben Sasse, who has pancreatic cancer and talks about facing the end of his life with grace. That’s a different psychic universe than the dysfunction of “What Broke the Beckhams?,” about Brooklyn Beckham (son of David and Victoria), a cautionary tale about extravagant wealth and celebrity. Then it’s on to a recent NYT story on single women throwing weddings for their birthday, which is NOT an actual trend, but still worth talking about.

Also discussed:

* It’s awe, baby

* “Our friend Ross”

* No spaceships for Sarah, no submarines for Nancy

* Oh, to be rich enough to never download another app

* “God’s plan,” discussed

* The awesomeness of Kyle Dunnigan

* The Real Housewives of … Schenectady?

* “I found a handbag that looks like a sandwich…”

* Tyrone, the cheerful doofus

* Sarah makes a date to try on wedding dresses

* Don’t arrest us, Netflix

Also, how long do you keep old laptops, Sarah parties at Area-Club-Studio 51, Nancy considers a new tattoo, and much more!

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Nancy and Sarah talk with Leigh Stein, whose recent Substack essay might be the best thing to come out of the Lindy West discourse. Entitled “I Escaped Bluebeard’s Castle. Lindy West Didn’t,” the essay describes an abusive relationship from Leigh’s past and sheds light on the painful accommodations some of us make to keep love - or its simulacrum - in our lives. No strangers to overdramatic relationships, the gals then take a trip down the memory lane of terrible boyfriends, the insecurities that make people act like creeps and victims, and the trap that is the public persona.

Also discussed:

* Virginity as liability

* Love addiction = the frothy dilemma of it all

* Nancy’s theory of Lindy West’s self-sabotage

* The Sylvia Plath and Ted Hughes school of romance

* Sarah is a sucker for a tough childhood

* That time Leigh contemplated a three-way

* “I remember going to a psychic …”

* An addiction to Intervention

* Rescuing someone over and over makes them weaker, then bitter

* Who do you become if you stop solving other people’s problems?

* What would Dan Savage say?

* Heather Havrilesky, preach!

Plus, polyamory as a conceptual art project, Nancy’s dad’s tough love, contemplating the many meanings of “the love hole,” and much more!

Announcements galore:

Go see Leigh in conversation with our beloved Kat Rosenfield, at the Darien Library on Tuesday, April 21, 7-8pm. Details here.

It’s the first Sunday of the month so you (if not Nancy) recall what that means: First Sunday Zoom, 5pm PT / 8pm ET, come celebrate Easter evening with us. Zoom link for paid subscribers will be sent the day-of.

How long does it take to make coffee? Nancy is thinking eight minutes, the average time of her new weekly mini-series, New York Stories. Paid subscribers get it delivered hot and tasty Sundays at 8am.

No April Fool’s joke. Life is better as a paid subscriber.

Thank you to listeners who commented, “Hey, what gives with the audio cut off??” It’s fixed! Old link should work but here it is again xx The management

Nancy and Sarah talk about the Oscars and a question that lingers after the show: Why did the public turn on Timothée Chalamet? The Academy Awards have never been about the BEST so much as who speaks to the current cultural appetite. Speaking of cultural appetites, Nancy’s latest for RealClearInvestigations revisits a MeToo defenestration from 2020 and examines the angles of opportunity that led to it.

Also discussed:

* Wait, who wants men to be androgynous?

* Some love for Conan O’Brien

* Rob Reiner’s amazing ’80s-’90’s run

* Michael B. Jordan was always our favorite

* Nancy and Sarah have a Safdie brothers problem

* Leo underrated?

* Sean Penn: a counter-opinion

* Bye bye, network TV

* Do NOT offer the intern coffee on your apartment deck

* How would you like to become the “referendum” on your profession?

* A journalist’s blistering 23-point email: How to NOT get a subject to respond

* “The Art Newspaper only runs stories we can verify.”

Plus, the lessons of the Seymour Hersh documentary, the greatness of Casey Affleck, Nancy leaves her body listening to a podcast, and much more!

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Nancy and Sarah discuss a NYT interview with Lindy West, the former Jezebel firebrand whose new memoir describes her path toward polyamory — and it’s a rocky one! Nancy and Sarah are split on this one, but West’s account raises an interesting question: When a woman who doesn’t want an open marriage learns to embrace it, does that represent a new kind of liberation, or the old-school accommodation of being the perfect wife? They also talk about a recent essay on the dating crisis among young people and another about the trendiness of love addiction. Special episode alert: Nancy learns about gooning.

Also discussed:

* AI SPAM = Never answering the phone again

* How much would you pay for a piece of rhubarb pie?

* Some love for Aidy Bryant

* Personal writing vs. activism

* “The liberating spirit of anal sex” is a phrase that’s used

* Is there anything worse than one-third of men saying they’re afraid to approach a woman? Yes, yes there is

* Nancy watches porn. Reports back with what men gooners want

* The behavioral modifications that came with our screens

* “Is love the most important thing to you?” is a dumb question

* You want more hockey? We got more hockey!

Plus, Sarah’s new book has a pub date, an Oscar Best Picture bet, Nancy finally admits her latest television addiction — and more!

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