Some marriage advice gets repeated so often, we stop questioning whether it actually works.

In this episode of Share the Pants, Joel and Nicole pull out one of their favorite wedding gifts: a journal filled with marriage advice from friends, family, and even complete strangers.

They unpack some of the most common pieces of advice they got and why certain advice sounds great in theory but doesn’t actually work for them.

But this isn’t an episode about declaring traditional marriage advice wrong.

It’s about something much more useful: figuring out what actually creates a healthy marriage for the two people living in it.

They also talk about:
• Why repair matters more than rushing to resolve a conflict
• The difference between being best friends and romantic partners
• Why dating your spouse matters after the wedding
• What it means to treat marriage like a team sport
• How supporting each other can look different depending on who needs to be carried that day
• Why love, rather than a specific set of rules, sits at the center of our marriage

Because the best marriage advice might not be a rule you blindly follow.

It might be learning how to build a marriage that actually works for you.

And yes, there’s more advice in that journal. So we’ll probably be pulling it back out again.

Want some advice on your relationship from our perpective? Send your questions our way. We might answer it on a future episode of Share the Pants.

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Nicole and Joel tackle a listener question about a man who decided the way to make a good first impresion was to show up on FaceTime... in bed... with his shirt off.

Was it inappropriate? What do you actually say when a man does something that immediately makes you think, “Yeah, this isn’t for me”?

They talk about:

• Whether you should FaceTime or have a phone call before meeting someone in person
• Why Nicole preferred to keep her phone number private until after the first date
• What happens when a man pushes past a boundary instead of respecting it
• Unsolicited dick pics and requests for sexy photos
• What “negging” is and why deliberately making someone insecure is not flirting
• How attraction tactics designed to create insecurity can turn dating into a power struggle
• When ghosting is actually appropriate
• How long you need to date someone before a breakup deserves a phone call or conversation
• And the big one: why women so often talk themselves out of their own discomfort

You don't have to prove that someone's behavior was objectively terrible before you're allowed to decide you don't want to date them.

Sometimes your immediate reaction of, “Nope,” is enough.

Trusting yourself doesn't mean judging someone as a "good" or "bad."
It means recognizing when someone's behavior doesn't work for you and having the confidence to walk away.

And yes, Nicole and Joel have a few things to say to the men sending unsolicited dick pics, too.

Send us your dating and relationship questions HERE!

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Want more dating advice between episodes?
Follow Nicole on social media
Facebook & Instagram: @iamnicolepowers
TikTok: @datingpowers

What actually makes a man want a second date?

Nicole puts her husband Joel in the hot seat to get the male perspective on one of dating’s most frustrating questions: Why didn't he ask me out again?

Joel’s answer might surprise you because it’s nowhere near as complicated as women tend to make it.

They talk about what men are actually looking for on a first date, why you don’t need instant sparks or a perfect performance, and why an awkward first date isn’t necessarily a bad date.

Nicole also shares the story of a client who came to her convinced she was bad at first dates because she hadn't been on a second date in forever, and what they found when they took a closer look at what was actually happening.

Plus, Nicole and Joel get into the danger of overanalyzing a first date, whether chemistry can grow, why intense sparks can sometimes lead you straight into a toxic relationship, and the truly unhinged first date that ended with an ex-girlfriend showing up at his apartment and breaking shit.

If you’ve ever replayed a first date wondering What did I do wrong?, this one is for you.

Sometimes it really is just a first date.

Have a dating or relationship question you want Nicole and Joel to tackle on the podcast? Submit your question and it might be featured in a future episode.

Send us Fan Mail

Want more dating advice between episodes?
Follow Nicole on social media
Facebook & Instagram: @iamnicolepowers
TikTok: @datingpowers