Hallie guides David in welcoming what is alive in him, which organically leads to the witnessing, redoing, retrieving and offering of secure attachment to a young, vulnerable part.

This is a masterclass in how honoring every part naturally leads to parts relaxing and allowing Self to attune lovingly to whatever arises.

If you have parts who feel embarrassed to cry in front of others, parts who have theories that want to be heard, or parts who take you out completely when approaching something vulnerable, they will feel seen and less alone watching this episode.

I loved this session so much and think you will, too.

-Christine

00:00 – Introduction to David’s live IFS session
03:21 – Meeting the protective parts that monitor what is shared
10:35 – Exploring the belief that nobody can see us cry
15:08 – Making space for grief and the fear of tears
20:56 – Staying with blankness and difficult feelings
25:27 – Exploring grief and the loss of David’s Mum
30:53 – Revisiting childhood experiences of being teased for crying
35:00 – Meeting anger, shame and childhood struggles with belonging
44:47 – The fear of being noticed and not being good enough
49:00 – Imagining a different experience of childhood
53:39 – Reflecting on the adults who could have offered support
59:55 – Discovering what the younger part needs
1:09:37 – Offering reassurance, connection and permission to cry
1:14:00 – Reflecting on the session and the experience
1:20:00 – Final reflections and podcast sign-off

The Besties are back!!!

It's Season 2 of the Self Led Besties Podcast, and in this first episode, Christine, Hallie, and David have a playful conversation about both the art and science of Internal Family Systems. They laugh, get deep and personal, and mix a lot of great metaphors.

And, stay tuned for the lightning round in which Hallie reads many of her inspired sticky notes and everyone responds with one sentence! Please share in the comments the ways in which you experience IFS as both an art and a science, or what your desk notes might say. :) We'd love to hear from you!

00:00 Welcome Back & Halle's Notes
02:40 Is IFS More Art Than Science?
07:00 The Myofascial Release Metaphor
09:20 The Map Is Not the Territory
13:20 Performing IFS & the Pressure of Evaluation
16:25 Learning the Principles & Improvising
19:55 IFS as Painting, Play & Creativity
24:05 The Art AND Science of IFS
28:40 The Quick-Fire Notes 31:45 Resistance Is Valuable
33:30 Closing & Reflections

As a special treat for the Season One Finale of The Self Led Besties Podcast...we decided to be on camera (on the YouTube version at least)!!!

Whenever Hallie and Christine would have "babbling parts," David would graciously call them "babbling brooks," so we decided to call this episode "Three Babbling Brooks."

David begins by telling about what has been alive in him lately - pondering the nature of vulnerable, wounded parts and the various layers around them. From there, we talk about how wounding happens from the inside out and healing occurs as Self brings loving attention to all the layers from the outside in.

As Hallie says, "We've been on the Needs Bus lately," so of course we also bring in how unmet needs relate to wounds and burdened parts. Join us in this silly and serious discussion, and as always, please share any questions or resonance in the comments section below.

0:02 Introduction and Season Finale Announcement
0:42 Theme Song and Lip Sync
2:51 Discussion on Authenticity and Voice Messages
4:10 David's Introduction to Wounding and Healing
5:20 Emotional Beliefs and Protective Parts
7:44 Healing Process and Self-Energy
10:26 Visual and Somatic Components in Healing
13:41 Christine and Hallie's Observations on Protective Parts
16:32 Self-Energy and Integration
34:38 Exploring Needs and Burdening
39:18 Healing and Meeting Needs
54:28 Personal Reflections on the Season
61:29 Upcoming Projects and Workshops

Follow us on IG!

• the pod: @selfledbestiespod
• Christine: @the_ordinary_sacred
• David: @ifs_awakening
• Hallie: @wiseinside.coaching

In this episode, Hallie leads David and Christine through a beautiful exercise piggy backing off of the needs exercise from last episode (though this can also be used as a stand alone exercise).

Hallie explains why it so important to connect to our needs and how the world might be a more supportive place to live if we all valued needs.

Then, after a short "coming into presence" moment, Hallie guides us (and you) through rating each of the needs based first on our body compass then letting parts express whatever comes up for them.

After getting an overall rating for how well our nine universal needs are met in this chapter of our lives, Hallie guides us in exploring how our highest and lowest rated needs could be met by Self, Support (from another person), and the Strategies our parts use to get Supply.

This exercise has the potential to bring so much clarity, compassion, and creativity into our systems. Please feel free to follow along or just listen, and we'd love to hear how the exercise was for you in the comment section below.

0:00 Intro
0:10 Theme Song
0:36 Exercise Introduction
1:48 Exercise Overview
3:58 Coming Into Presence
7:28 The 9 Universal Human Needs
15:35 The Wheel Of Needs
20:11 Rating Our Needs
22:02 The Need for Safety
24:59 The Need for Sustenance
26:50 The Need For Rest
29:22 The Need For Love
30:49 The Need For Understanding
32:32 The Need For Belonging
35:03 The Need For Purpose
36:46 The Need For Creativity
39:19 The Need For Freedom
41:36 Calculating Our Needs Percentage
44:00 Percentage Indicators
46:38 Strategy Overview
52:40 The Importance Of Authenticity
57:24 Lowest & Highest Scores
58:41 Highest Scoring Need
59:53 Highest Score Strategies
1:01:31 Lowest Scoring Need
1:02:16 Lowest Score Strategies
1:04:21 New Strategies For Lowest Score?
1:08:13 Invitation To Further Exploration
1:11:02 Christine's Experience
1:23:52 David's Experience
1:30:21 Closing & Goodbyes
1:32:00 Theme Song
1:33:03 Like & Subscribe

In this episode, Christine shares a Needs-Based Protocol she's been working on. David and Hallie experiment with what emotions feel like in their bodies and how their emotions can be valuable messengers pointing to unmet needs.

Then, Christine leads Hallie and David in an exercise to assess a relationship, environment, or activity by scoring how well they support each of the 9 Universal Human Needs. Then we discuss brainstorming creative strategies to meet those needs ourselves as well as specific requests to make of others.

We welcome you to follow along in these experiments and offer feedback or questions in the comments. As we develop this protocol, your input is highly valuable.

0:00 Intro
0:10 Theme Song
0:37 Exercise Overview
4:45 Noticing Emotions
9:06 The Level Of Suffering
12:30 David's Emotions
15:21 Hallie's Emotions
18:47 The Nine Human Needs
23:29 David's Unmet Needs
25:04 Hallie's Unmet Needs
26:30 Meeting Our Needs
30:29 How Emotions Relate To Needs
35:34 Partner, Place Or Profession?
40:40 Rating Needs Being Met
44:50 High, Medium & Low Scores
50:05 Personally Meeting Our Needs
50:45 Specific Request Of Another Person
52:08 Creating Distance
53:30 Strategy Examples
1:02:34 Outro & Goodbyes
1:04:12 Theme Song
1:05:16 Like & Subscribe

In this episode of the Self Led Besties Podcast, Christine, Hallie and David speak for their active parts around the exclusion of non therapists from the IFSI training (yes, we still have parts processing the decision made 2 1/2 years ago!). We reference an article entitled "The Ethics of Using IFS in Coaching." Here is the link, if you'd like to read the article yourself: https://www.compassionateresultscoaching.com/blog/ethics-of-ifs-coaching

A main point in the article is that IFS is unique in its understanding that it is NOT the practitioner but the client's Self who is the healing agent in their system. So the question is NOT "Who is allowed to facilitate IFS?", but "Who does IFS assert is the healer?"

We discuss our distress over the conflict between therapists and non-therapists created by the exclusion and our desire to be united in the unique hope of IFS. We also discuss how much of mainstream therapy can end up reinforcing client's core wounds such as, "I am helpless," "something is wrong with me," etc. and how anyone with Self energy - a coach, friend, family member - can be supportive of our own Self tending to our parts, and that, ultimately, it is always Love that heals.

0:00 Intro
0:12 Theme Song
0:38 Discussion Intoduction
2:33 How Christine's Parts Responded
4:28 How David's Parts Responded
5:46 How Hallie's Parts Responded
10:42 Article Introduction
12:46 Article Reading
23:21 How Therapy Can Reinforce Wounds
29:59 The Importance Of Self-Energy
36:58 The Importance of Relationship
40:50 The Importance of Inner Work
43:26 The Importance Of Self-Led Friends
52:16 IFSI & Christianity
55:09 How Love Heals
59:53 A Beautiful Poem By Hallie
1:00:48 Closing & Goodbyes
1:01:34 Theme Song
1:02:35 Like & Subscribe!

In this episode, David leads Hallie and Christine (and you) through an exercise based on a beautiful gardening metaphor to bring curiosity and awareness to the relationships in our lives.

In the exercise, we imagine four flower beds - one each for seedling, deeply rooted flowering, withering, and dying relationships. We assess the time and energy we put into each type of relationship as well as listen to parts' fears and needs around the various stages of our relationships.

After the exercise, Christine and Hallie share about the insights they gained, and Hallie extends the metaphor in many wonderful ways.

If you participate in the exercise, we'd love to hear about your experience in the comment section!

0:00 Intro
0:10 Theme Song
0:34 Exercise Overview
2:01 Parts Check-In
3:17 Imagining The Garden
5:32 Noticing Four Flowerbeds
8:59 Energy & Effort Percentage
10:52 First Flowerbed - Seedlings & Saplings
13:42 Second Flowerbed - Evergreens
16:03 Third Flowerbed - Wilting & Withering
18:18 Fourth Flowerbed - Composting
20:42 Part's Insights?
21:15 Energy & Effort Change?
23:02 Bonus Question
23:44 Exercise Ending
24:20 Christine's Experience
35:54 Hallie's Experience
56:43 Relationship Discussion
1:10:36 Closing & Goodbyes
1:11:49 Theme Song
1:12:53 Like & Subscribe!

In this episode, Hallie leads David and Christine (and you) through an incredibly helpful exercise to get to know parts around a polarization and then to bring them together to find a Self-led consensus.

Hallie starts with the prompt, "What is something you/parts of you have been putting off?” and leads us to get to know the parts who want to do the thing and the parts who block/resist it. She guides us toward gentle inquiry of each part/set of parts to find out their fears, needs, values, and requests.

At the end, we all share for what came up for us in the experiment/experience.

Feel free to join us in doing the exercise and share your experience in the comments or just listen to our experiences. You cannot get it wrong!

0:00 Intro
0:11 Theme Song
0:35 Exercise Preview
1:51 Exercise Overview
6:54 Finding a Trailhead
8:17 First Part's Questions P1
11:33 First Part's Questions P2
12:39 First Part's Questions P3
13:21 Second Part's Questions P1
16:18 Second Part's Questions P2
16:45 Second Part's Questions P3
17:24 Spending Time With Vulnerable Parts
20:23 Bringing Parts Together
21:54 Sharing Part's Perspectives
24:43 Inviting a Consensus
25:54 Exercise Conclusion
27:53 David's Experience
36:01 Christine's Experience
48:05 Exercise Reflection
56:40 Hallie's Experience
1:00:14 Closing & Goodbyes
1:02:23 Theme Song
1:03:23 Like & Subscribe!