In this episode, Dr. Kourosh Dini challenges the limits of “chemistry-only” explanations and explores the deeper rhythms of agency and engagement. Drawing on Dr. Thomas Brown’s vivid metaphor—ADHD as “erectile dysfunction of the mind”—we ask: What if the real key isn’t willpower, but the mindful cultivation of agency and self-trust?

Listeners will learn:

• Why “willpower” is a problematic concept for wandering minds.
• How agency differs from willpower and why it matters for daily life.
• The power of “the daily visit” as a compassionate practice to nudge forward on tasks, even when motivation feels absent.
• How emotional waves and environmental supports can be harnessed to create meaningful engagement.
• Why practice is more about care than force, and how to honor both present and future selves in the process.

The episode closes with a personal reflection on the role of music and meaning, featuring Beethoven’s Pathetique as a metaphor for settling into rhythms of focus.

• Dr. Thomas Brown’s metaphor:
• (Referenced in the episode introduction.)
• Instagram post quote: “The ADHD brain isn’t lazy or undisciplined. It’s wired to need stronger stimulation to maintain focus.”
• Episode 4: Introduction to the “daily visit” practice.
• Episode 9: Deep dive into the concept of “injured agency.”
• Episode 14: Previous metaphor of the magnified mind and emotional waves.
• Karl Haas & Adventures in Good Music: (link) Inspiration for the musical closing and reflection on the power of loving one’s craft.
• Beethoven’s Pathetique: Featured musical piece at the end of the episode.

1. ADHD
2. Agency
3. Willpower
4. Daily Visit Practice
5. Emotional Regulation
6. Productivity
7. Self-Compassion
8. Focus Strategies
9. Neurodiversity
10. Musical Metaphors

Have you tried the “daily visit” approach? What helps you nudge forward when motivation is low? Share your experiences or questions by replying to this episode or connecting on social media.

Music for this episode: Beethoven’s Pathetique, performed by Dr. Kourosh Dini.

For more resources, exercises, and community support, visit the Waves of Focus course page or explore the Letters of a Wandering Mind series.

I refuse to believe that any science would tell me I have no free will. The slippery slope of victimhood can plague the science of ADHD Because once again, I've seen the statement.

"I do not have the interest. Therefore, I could not do it."

 Dr. Thomas Brown, an important voice in the ADHD community recently described it as an "erectile dysfunction of the mind." Let me play the clip for you here.

...

This episode delves into the intricate nature of the wandering mind, exploring the complexities of attention, focus, and the diverse manifestations of ADHD. It challenges the traditional objectivist approach in scientific inquiry, emphasizing the value of human experience, metaphor, and emotion in understanding mental processes. The narrative presents a metaphor comparing the lens of an eye to the lens of consciousness, illustrating how mental wanderings impact focus and productivity. Additionally, it discusses the role of short-term and working memory and the emotional bed of consciousness. The episode concludes with practical insights for managing a wandering mind and a musical improvisation piece that embodies the themes discussed.

00:00 Open

03:33 An Appeal to Human Experience

07:52 A Metaphor of the Eye's Lens

11:36 The Lens of Consciousness

15:16 A Return of The Now and Not Now

16:02 The Vitality of Emotion

18:18 Bringing it Together

25:57 An Improvisation

The Magnified Mind: Metaphors for Wandering, Focus, and Emotional Depth

Welcome, fellow wandering minds! In this episode, we set sail through the complexities of attention, memory, and emotion—exploring how the wandering mind, so often misunderstood, can be a source of both challenge and creative strength. Below you’ll find references, resources, and further reading to deepen your journey.

ADHD, Neurodiversity, and Focus Variability

• ADHD Types & Neurodiversity:
• CHADD: Understanding ADHD Types
• ADDitude Magazine: ADHD Presentations

Science, Measurement, and Human Experience

• Objectivism in Psychology:
• E.L. Thorndike and Measurement in Psychology
• Quote from Dr. Frank Summers, The Psychoanalytic Vision:
• Book Information

Neuroscience of Attention

• Task Positive Network vs. Default Mode Network:
• ScienceDirect: Brain Networks
• Neurotransmitters & Attention:
• Verywell Mind: Dopamine, Norepinephrine, Serotonin
• Short-Term & Working Memory:
• George Miller’s “The Magical Number Seven, Plus or Minus Two”

Emotion, Consciousness, and Motivation

• Neuropsychoanalysis & Mark Solms:
• Mark Solms, The Conscious Id
• International Neuropsychoanalysis Society

Practical Tools for Agency...

This episode explores the frustrations of procrastination and task management, particularly when relying on others for reminders. It delves into the emotional cycle of resentment that builds between individuals and suggests a 'visit-based' approach to break free from the endless creation of incomplete tasks. Instead of arguing with emotions, the episode advocates for simply being present with tasks to foster productivity and reduce resentment, ultimately aiming for more aligned and harmonious task completion. The episode concludes with a piece of music titled 'Wooded Hills' in D Minor.

00:00 Avoiding a Taskmaster

01:45 The Sisyphean Struggle: Why Organizing Feels Impossible with ADHD

02:46 The Trap of Outsourcing Agency: “Can You Remind Me…?” and the Taskmaster Effect

04:34 Beyond “Feeling Like It”

05:22 Wooded Hills

Picture this: feeling scattered, surrounded by a sea of sticky notes. You ask a friend to remind you to do that one important thing, but when they actually do, you find yourself saying, "well, not now. I'm busy." Suddenly you're both caught in this cycle of frustration and resentment each waiting for the other to make the next move.

So what's going on here?

"Hey, can you remind me to do that thing?"

Trying to do the dishes, getting the report done, making that important call, it can all feel like some Sisyphean task, seeing the world around us full of incomplete projects. Scribbles on the calendar, post-it notes, all trying to yell past each other as they turn to some vague yellow sea.

It's a rare thing for those stars to align. But when they do, you're in it. Well, that is until you're either done or exhausted. And either way, chaos returns as inevitable as it is in our world.

So you might reason, you know what?

If something's important enough, it'll find me.

But when those things arrive, we still not only have some sense of inability, we have that injured sense of agency described in episode nine.

When the important thing shows up, unless it's shiny or on fire, some part of us might just refuse lay down and say No, I don't wanna, I can't be bothered. Many other possibilities.

Then we can have this idea. What if I ask someone to help me, a friend, a loved one.

Hey, can you remind me about whatever it is?

But then when it comes time for that, someone else to say, Hey, what if you do that thing Now? We might just say,

"well, not now. I'm busy, or I'll get to it."

Something in us just isn't quite feeling it. What happens here though is that we've just thrown the ball back at the other person who now continues to hold the task. Both you and they have now colluded to create a task master.

Worse yet this new task master is now in a position of having to read our mind better than we even know it ourselves.

They have to target this often impossible place where we'd feel like it, where our own conscious and unconscious worlds and stars would align in ways that we ourselves don't even know. These positions create resentment. Both in ourselves as we begin to feel them as harassing us and in them who feel that they have to harass us.

Whether boss, spouse, parent, child, friend, or otherwise, any relationship- this can happen sadly, often in our most vital relationships. This resentment can build. And importantly resentment's a particularly insidious emotion. Much of it is unconscious. We may try to suppress it because after all, they often love care for feel dependent on us or us on them.

How is it that I can feel so angry?

How is it they can feel so angry with me?

I shouldn't feel this way.

Well, making these arguments, I mean, how often has that strategy of arguing with these

I'm taking a break! I should be back in a few weeks (end of July/beginning of August)

Ever find yourself cleaning the closet or deep in a video game while a deadline quietly sneaks up behind you? In this episode of Rhythms of Focus, we unravel the real story behind procrastination for adults with wandering minds and ADHD. Instead of blaming laziness or lack of willpower, we explore how avoidance can be a form of recovery—and how to gently reclaim your agency.

Force-based productivity (deadlines, shame, rigid systems) often backfires for creative, neurodivergent minds. A rhythm-based, visit-oriented approach can help you find meaningful focus. You’ll learn how to move from cycles of exhaustion and self-criticism to a more mindful, compassionate path forward.

In this episode, you’ll take away:

- Gentle, actionable ways to recognize and shift out of procrastination without shame

- How to use acknowledgment and tiny steps to restore your sense of agency

Plus, enjoy an original piano composition, "Three is More" to support your focus and reflection.

Subscribe for more episodes and visit rhythmsoffocus.com to join a community that honors your creative mind and helps you thrive—one gentle wave at a time.

• Episode 9 - "I Just Don't Wanna" and the Power of Agency
• Episode 11 - An Interview with Dr. Joel Anderson - Philosophy and the Wandering Mind
• Episode 4 - From Force to Flow with a "Visit"

#ADHD #WanderingMinds #Procrastination #MindfulProductivity #Agency #GentleFocus #CreativeMinds #VisitBased #RhythmOverRigidity #SelfCompassion

Have you ever found yourself cleaning out a closet right when you know there's something else important you should be doing? Maybe you're playing a video game and that other thing needs to happen.

You tell yourself, I'll start soon, but the weight of the task feels heavier every passing minute. Your mind drifts Suddenly hours have slipped by of leaving you feeling a bit guilty, maybe relieved even, or you just start wondering, ah,

But what if there's more to this cycle than meets the eye?

Those who rely on deadlines often cycle between frantic work and exhaustion. They find it impossible to move forward without a deadline hounding close behind. Meanwhile, in the collapse that often follows them, they can call themselves lazy. Unable to find some footing forward.

But what if avoidance is actually this attempt to recover from exhaustion? Whether it's a period of forced flow or flailing scatter.

At first glance, procrastination seems quite different from the relief that danger of deadlines can bring, as I described in episode nine, where you finally know what to focus on. But it's really the other side of the same coin.

Exhaustion overwhelms the mind's ability to continually find and fight danger, and so it runs, engaging in this type of flight to survive.

It's a bit like turning our head away.

If I can't see it, it doesn't exist.

Now, why would we ever do that?

The unconscious mind is powerful, particularly when we are frightened or depleted.

Maybe we lie on the couch, barely able to follow a thought. Maybe we sleep through an important class or meeting. Or maybe we find deep focus elsewhere, cleaning the closet to some near,...

In this extended episode, professional philosopher Dr. Joel Anderson engages in a deep and stimulating conversation about Wandering Minds, ADHD, and Beyond with our host Dr. Kourosh Dini.

Discussing philosophical and practical issues around agency, procrastination, and the balance between forcing oneself and creating affording conditions, they explore the concept of 'agentic play,' the importance of creating environments that invite rather than coerce, and the role of emotions in the effort to engage with tasks meaningfully.

They question the differences between motivation, effort, and naturally flowing engagement, and consider the implications of removing distractions and setting guiding conditions in a caring manner. The episode ends with reflections on how these philosophical dialogues can shift one's approach to work and life.

00:00 Introduction to the Conversation

02:33 Joel Anderson's Background

03:48 Diving into Philosophical Concepts

05:01 Exploring Agency and Play

05:48 Affordances and Environmental Design

10:08 Self-Binding Strategies and Productivity

17:59 Emotional Work and Hard Labor

21:11 Navigating Procrastination and Effort

30:21 Meeting Tension with Care

30:43 Hierarchical Set of Binds

32:50 Facing the Fog of Tasks

35:40 Building Trust and Self-Efficacy

43:49 Effortless Engagement and Motivation

52:52 Listening to Yourself

55:09 Concluding Thoughts and Reflections

• Dr. Joel Anderson's Inaugural Lecture
• Joel's Home Page
• No Bad Parts - Richard Schwartz PhD

I've got a treat for you today. Joel Anderson is a good friend of mine. He's a wonderful guy, brilliant philosopher. He's a professional academic philosopher, even. He's got a way of thinking things through in a way I truly admire. Every time we talk, I, I walk away feeling stimulated. I'm ready to write, uh, suddenly I'm seeing something in a new light.

We've been having these conversations in one way or another for over a decade now. Uh, and I thought, you know what, what if we just recorded one and shared it on a podcast? I have no idea whether you'll enjoy it as we do or not, but,

uh, it's, it's, it's cool. We sort of start slow and build up as things go on. Listening to it, I wonder if we've developed a sort of shorthand. This sort of thing happens. It's like any place or person where you've been hanging out or with for a while. Uh, things line up, you know, the organization of either physical or thought space just falls into this functional sort of place.

In any case, I thought it would be entertaining and I'd love to hear your feedback about it. If you're up for it, drop me a line at wander@rhythmsoffocus.com. That's W-A-N-D-E r@rhythmsoffocus.com.  

I have a chair in moral psychology and social philosophy in the Ethics Institute, which is part of the Department of Philosophy and Religious Studies in the faculty of the humanities at Utrecht University. So that's the whole hierarchical layering of that.

That's the thing. Alright, cool.

Nested communities.

We've been chatting since, I was looking, I was trying to find the first email between us, and the earliest I found was 2014, but it looked like it was in the middle of a conversation.

Yeah, it always feels like that with you, that as whenever we pick it up, it feels like we're...

Ever notice how your focus sharpens right before a looming deadline, as if the ticking clock finally sweeps away distraction? This episode of *Rhythms of Focus* dives beneath that familiar surge, exploring why urgency can both ignite and exhaust wandering minds—especially for adults with ADHD.

Join me as we untangle the hidden costs of deadline-driven focus and discover a gentler path: one where agency, rhythm, and self-compassion replace force and burnout. You’ll learn how to trade the chronic anxiety of “last-minute mode” for a kinder, more sustainable rhythm of engagement—one that honors both your creative energy and your need for rest.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

• Why the “deadline rush” feels so compelling—and so draining
• How force-based focus erodes self-trust and agency
• A practical, visit-based approach to build momentum without pressure

Three actionable takeaways:

• Try a daily “visit” to your project: just show up, take a breath, and mark it done—no pressure to finish
• Use simple tools (a calendar, habit tracker, or even a scrap of paper) to gently anchor your attention
• Reframe deadlines as prompts for reality, not engines of anxiety—allowing your focus to flow with less self-judgment

This episode also features an original piano composition, “Dandelion Wine”—a musical invitation to warmth, presence, and gentle growth.

Subscribe for more mindful strategies, and visit rhythmsoffocus.com/visit for your free guide to building a rhythm that works with your wandering mind.

• Your First Step to Breaking Free from Force Based Work (free PDF with signup)
• Rhythms of Focus - Episode 4
• Rhythms of Focus - Episode 9

#ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #Agency #FocusRhythm #GentleHabits #VisitBased #SelfCompassion #CreativeFocus #DeadlineAnxiety

Picture this. It's the night before a big project is due. Your mind starts to feel sharper. Distractions fade. You're finally able to focus, powered by the pressure of this ticking clock. For many with wandering minds, ADHD, and beyond, this last minute surge is all too familiar.

So what's going on under the surface? Join me on this episode of Rhythms of Focus as we consider reasons in the costs of deadline driven work and maybe find a kinder approach to making things happen that hopefully leaves you with a calmer sense of focus.

When we can't seem to get ourselves to do things, whatever those things are, we often resort to some form of force. And there's several means of force.

One of them we've already looked at in episode six, which is the moral approach. This is where we can tell ourselves to "try harder" or shame ourselves among other possibilities.

Another method, many use, is to leverage deadlines. As we go through our lives, we lose things, forget things, have trouble starting and stopping and more. Often this leads to feelings of guilt and shame. Every attempt and injury worsens our wounds and the world becomes that much more dangerous.

It's difficult to know where danger is, but it always seems to be there. Having got ourselves into trouble many times over throughout our lives.

So, we're always on the hunt for danger, sometimes believing or even finding ourselves to be the source. We can...

Feeling trapped by rigid productivity hacks or the pressure to “just start”? This episode of Rhythms of Focus invites you to reimagine focus—not as a battle of willpower, but as a gentle practice of agency.

For adults with ADHD and wandering minds, agency is the skill of deciding and engaging non-reactively, even when emotions or distractions surge like waves. Instead of forcing yourself forward, you’ll discover how to nurture a sense of agency that honors your rhythms and restores trust in your own choices.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why agency—not force—is the missing ingredient for meaningful productivity and self-trust
• How to move from shame-based or deadline-driven habits to a visit-based approach that supports your creative mind
• Practical ways to pause, sense your options, and make decisions that feel true to you

• Practice “visits” instead of forcing action, building agency one gentle step at a time
• Use mindful pauses to transform overwhelm into clarity and choice
• Reframe “I don’t wanna” moments as signals to honor your agency, not shame yourself

Enjoy an original piano composition, Wind at Play, highlighting the practice between play and agency.

Subscribe to Rhythms of Focus and visit rhythmsoffocus.com for more resources, support, and inspiration designed for creative, wandering minds.

#ADHD, #WanderingMinds, #agency, #gentleproductivity, #mindfulfocus, #visitbasedproductivity, #selftrust, #creativity, #selfcompassion, #rhythmsoffocus

• Episode S01E04 - From Force to Flow with a Visit
• Episode S01E07 - Cautions of Dopamine and a Lean into Mastery
• “I just don’t wanna” and the Power of a Visit - Neurodivergent Insights
• What’s the Difference Between PDA and Demand Avoidance? - Neurodivergent Insights

it's a familiar refrain for those with wandering minds. So what do we do when we just don't wanna.

You may well know that once you're in it, you're good to go, but getting there can be terribly difficult. Yelling, "just start" hardly works. And when it does, it carries this host of troubles.

In earlier episodes, I talked about dopamine and the "interest-based nervous system" as it's been called, and how we might use these ideas against ourselves to say that we need some chemical or preexisting emotion to get to work. We adopt a sense that we cannot work by our own will.

But I did also hint at a third point of view.

We often focus on attention. For example, one type of wandering mind often carries such a diagnosis. ADHD. It's right there in the title, right? Attention Deficit hyperactivity Disorder. And there's even the inattentive type where we say that is the main focus.

But what's profoundly missing from the title and other wandering minds, such as the anxious, the creative, the absent-minded, and the like, is the sense of agency.

Now, what is that? It sounds simple. Maybe boring. Why bother with such an abstract idea? What does agency have to do with anything?

This central idea is a pillar to everything I write about, how I function as a psychoanalyst, and how I function as a teacher.

If you want to know the...