This episode explores the frustrations of procrastination and task management, particularly when relying on others for reminders. It delves into the emotional cycle of resentment that builds between individuals and suggests a 'visit-based' approach to break free from the endless creation of incomplete tasks. Instead of arguing with emotions, the episode advocates for simply being present with tasks to foster productivity and reduce resentment, ultimately aiming for more aligned and harmonious task completion. The episode concludes with a piece of music titled 'Wooded Hills' in D Minor.

00:00 Avoiding a Taskmaster

01:45 The Sisyphean Struggle: Why Organizing Feels Impossible with ADHD

02:46 The Trap of Outsourcing Agency: “Can You Remind Me…?” and the Taskmaster Effect

04:34 Beyond “Feeling Like It”

05:22 Wooded Hills

Picture this: feeling scattered, surrounded by a sea of sticky notes. You ask a friend to remind you to do that one important thing, but when they actually do, you find yourself saying, "well, not now. I'm busy." Suddenly you're both caught in this cycle of frustration and resentment each waiting for the other to make the next move.

So what's going on here?

"Hey, can you remind me to do that thing?"

Trying to do the dishes, getting the report done, making that important call, it can all feel like some Sisyphean task, seeing the world around us full of incomplete projects. Scribbles on the calendar, post-it notes, all trying to yell past each other as they turn to some vague yellow sea.

It's a rare thing for those stars to align. But when they do, you're in it. Well, that is until you're either done or exhausted. And either way, chaos returns as inevitable as it is in our world.

So you might reason, you know what?

If something's important enough, it'll find me.

But when those things arrive, we still not only have some sense of inability, we have that injured sense of agency described in episode nine.

When the important thing shows up, unless it's shiny or on fire, some part of us might just refuse lay down and say No, I don't wanna, I can't be bothered. Many other possibilities.

Then we can have this idea. What if I ask someone to help me, a friend, a loved one.

Hey, can you remind me about whatever it is?

But then when it comes time for that, someone else to say, Hey, what if you do that thing Now? We might just say,

"well, not now. I'm busy, or I'll get to it."

Something in us just isn't quite feeling it. What happens here though is that we've just thrown the ball back at the other person who now continues to hold the task. Both you and they have now colluded to create a task master.

Worse yet this new task master is now in a position of having to read our mind better than we even know it ourselves.

They have to target this often impossible place where we'd feel like it, where our own conscious and unconscious worlds and stars would align in ways that we ourselves don't even know. These positions create resentment. Both in ourselves as we begin to feel them as harassing us and in them who feel that they have to harass us.

Whether boss, spouse, parent, child, friend, or otherwise, any relationship- this can happen sadly, often in our most vital relationships. This resentment can build. And importantly resentment's a particularly insidious emotion. Much of it is unconscious. We may try to suppress it because after all, they often love care for feel dependent on us or us on them.

How is it that I can feel so angry?

How is it they can feel so angry with me?

I shouldn't feel this way.

Well, making these arguments, I mean, how often has that strategy of arguing with these