About My Guest

Ben Cassil is a comedian based in Los Angeles, where he performs improv with the team Cosmo. Ben also teaches improv and hosts the comedy podcast “Live from the Big Apple.” You can find him online at bencassil.com and @bencassil on Instagram.

In This Episode

Not everything that has therapeutic value occurs in a formal setting. So for the season finale, I went on a deep dive into an art form that celebrates practicing failure--improv comedy. Comedian Ben Cassil shares about the value of engaging in the playful art of improv comedy. He breaks down the different types of improv comedy and the key tenets that form its foundation. Improv brings many opportunities to practice relational skills: like listening, building empathy, letting go of control, and being more present in the moment. All while laughing.

Ben explores how nonjudgmental awareness expands the experience of improv, both how we reflect on our own behavior and experiences, as well as how we engage with those around us. Vulnerability, expanding comfort with uncertainty, and responding more honestly can enhance experiences and help us to be less precious with each interaction. Ben later covers radical acceptance and how expressing support for our teammates (in improv and in life) starts to change how people treat each other and how safe and confident they feel.

Finally, Ben shares his own experience of switching careers in his late 20's, gathering the courage to "let himself fail," and how stepping into that fear opened up a more rewarding path in life. A naturally gifted teacher, Ben's change out of academia and into improv ironically granted him more opportunities to use this talent. Ben's openness about this journey is a reminder that there is always space to change and grow and that it's okay, even necessary, for this process to take a long time. We are not shaped overnight, we build steadily and slowly as we learn from each experience.

Resources Referenced

Ben provides a number of references for those interested in learning more about improv, including various ways to get involved.

Podcasts and Shows

• The Neighborhood Listen
• Spontaneanation
• Yes, Also
• Live from the Big Apple
• Comedy Bang Bang Podcast (TV show also available on various paid platforms)
• Dropout Comedy

Improv Schools and Theaters (to take a class or watch a show)

• We Improv
• Worlds Greatest Improv School (WGIS)
• The Shared Experience Studio
• Upright Citizens Brigade (UCB)

Books

• Elevator Farts by Jake Jabbour
• The Inner Game of Tennis by W. Timothy Gallwey

About My Guest

Dr. Erika Knuth is a clinical psychologist specializing in maternal mental health. She works with individuals navigating the emotional complexities of fertility challenges, pregnancy, miscarriage, stillbirth, infant loss, traumatic birth, and postpartum mood and anxiety disorders. In 2014, she earned a certificate from Postpartum Support International (PSI), and in 2018, she became one of the first therapists worldwide to receive PSI’s Advanced Certification in Perinatal Mental Health. She also served on the Executive Committee of the Board of Directors for PSI’s Illinois Chapter.

Dr. Knuth holds a PhD in Clinical Psychology and a Master’s in Theology, with two years of advanced training from Boston University’s Danielsen Institute in integrating spiritual and existential concerns into psychotherapy. A practical optimist, she finds joy in unexpected places and feels most alive in nature or with loved ones.

You can find Dr. Knuth online at www.magnoliawheaton.com

In This Episode

Dr. Knuth explores a number of themes birthing parents face: the nature of constant transitions and identity shifts, navigating the unexpected, and perfectionism and judgment. With so many choices to be made around pregnancy, birthing journeys, and parenting, it can be paralyzing for new parents trying to find what the "right" choices are. Dr. Knuth compassionately invites listeners to consider that each path not only can be different, but needs to be different base on the individuals and their unique circumstances.

Dr. Knuth helps to unpack the differences between postpartum diagnoses of depression, "baby blues," anxiety, OCD, and psychosis. She walks us through what qualifies as postpartum for a mental health diagnoses, when to consider paternal postpartum for the supporting parent, and when a new parent might want to seek professional support. She addresses ways that lack of sleep and hormonal shifts make anyone vulnerable to a mental health episode, while addressing what variables can increase that risk.

In discussing traumatic birth experiences, Dr. Knuth shares ways that providers of all kinds can support the birthing parent and improve their experience. She shares how to actively seek consent from and involve parents in solving moments of crisis during complicated births. She explains how this shifts the way trauma is experienced and processed in the moment and long after. Finally, Dr. Knuth shares insights from her own experiences of failure and reminds us all that "every failure is an opportunity to calibrate our compass."

About My Guest

Dr. Rebecca Lierly is a clinical psychologist who has been working in the field of adolescent psychology for fifteen years and still uses Urban Dictionary on a weekly basis. Specializing in acute crisis, group therapy, Autism Spectrum disorder, and trauma populations, she loves coming alongside families and find creative strategies to improve communication and coping.

In This Episode

Dr. Lierly breaks down the various levels of care that come with treatment options for adolescents--from weekly talk therapy to partial hospitalization programs (PHPs) to inpatient hospitalization. She helps parents understand why different levels may be recommended. Dr. Lierly highlights how parents can support adolescents through various challenges they might be facing, such as substance dependence, severe social anxiety, avoidant behaviors, suicidality, and more.

Highlighting the key struggles and goals of adolescence, Dr. Lierly shares how it is a time where we figure out who we are, what we like, and how we want to move through the world, all while separating from our families of origin. A teen's social world is highly complex and social feedback is quite powerful during this time of life, in ways that are both helpful and hurtful. Building adaptability, experimenting safely, finding community, and developing coping strategies are all key pieces of developing through adolescence.

Finally, Dr. Lierly shares examples of failure and how failures are prime learning opportunities for us and for teens, who are watching how adults respond to stress. She discusses how working on a team can change the experience of failure and green flags to look for when evaluating potential employers and colleagues. Dr. Lierly effectively models what she teaches--that failure is an opportunity to check in with yourself, identify what you need, ask for help where you need it, learn from what is not working, and then experiment with new ways of doing something. With kindness and humility, Dr. Lierly is a helpful example of what therapy and parenting can do for adolescents who are struggling.

Resources Referenced

Brené Brown video on empathy v. sympathy

Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy, @drbeckyatgoodinside on Instagram

The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt

The Teenage Brain by Dr. Frances E. Jensen

Selena Gomez's Wondermind

About My Guest

Dr. LaMisha Hill Weller is a Licensed Counseling Psychologist originally from the Chicagoland area. She completed her doctorate in Counseling Psychology from the University of Oregon, her Pre-Doctoral Internship at UC Riverside, and her Post-Doctoral Fellowship at UC Berkeley. LaMisha began her professional career at the University of California, San Francisco (UCSF) in 2013 with the Office of Diversity and Outreach.

In 2022, LaMisha joined UCSF’s Department of Obstetrics, Gynecology, & Reproductive Sciences (OBGYN-RS) as an Associate Professor and the inaugural Vice Chair for Equity, Inclusion, and Structural Change. Within her professional scope of work, she also serves as the Diversity Advisor to the Birth Center (UCSF Health) and leads various initiatives to support belonging and health equity.

Anchored in the Spirt of Service, LaMisha works collaboratively to help individuals and organizations move towards their values of inclusion. Her skillset includes strategic planning, education and training, individual coaching, facilitating, and keynote speaking.

You can find Dr. Hill Weller on her website at https://www.drlamishahill.com/

In This Episode

Dr. Hill Weller deftly educates us about the interconnection of our individual stories and the systems and contexts that we function within. She provides a primer on the Ecological Systems Theory of psychology and invites us each to explore how our own experiences, contexts, and development continue to shape us.

From navigating racism on the playground as a child to dealing with fallout from culture wars to the mutual condescension in today's political realm, Dr. Hill Weller holds compassion and understanding for the universal human experience. She brings in growth mindset as a useful tool in reframing difficult experiences and reflects on ways trauma disrupts our ability to connect with others. Failure can occur at all levels of the ecological model and we must examine how we can contribute to growth, learning, and repair when this happens.

Finally, Dr. Hill Weller shares examples of professional failures that formed her into the person she is today. She describes looking back on these examples with more gratitude than shame. Reframing, big-picture awareness, and moving away from binary thinking are all tools Dr. Hill Weller references as she discusses DEI, the political exploitation of DEI, and how we find constructive paths forward individually and collectively.

References

We discuss how wealth and power alter the brain and our ability to be empathic toward others. This is data that people often question because it challenges our assumptions, so here are some articles that review the research from the past 15 years.

How Money Changes the Way You Think and Feel by Carolyn Gregoire

Power Blocks Empathy by Elizabeth Segal, PhD

6 Studies on How Money Affects the Mind from TEDx and Paul Piff

Higher Social Class Predicts Increased Unethical Behavior by Piff et al.

How Wealth Reduces Compassion by Daisy Grewal

When Power Goes to Your Head, It May Shut Out Your Heart by Chris Benderev

About My Guest

Dr. Lisa Belvy (she/they) is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who owns and operates a private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area, and sees clients throughout California. She specializes in health psychology, working at the intersection of what’s traditionally been labeled ‘physical’ and ‘mental’ health, with the goal of helping clients improve their holistic well-being.

Dr. Belvy has a particular focus on complex chronic health conditions. She has dedicated much of her practice to clients living with connective tissue disorders such as Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS), a condition that she herself lives with. Dr. Belvy enjoys working with clients individually and as part of her EDS support group, and aims to help empower those who have often been marginalized in healthcare settings.

You can find Dr. Belvy on her website www.lisabelvyphd.com

In This Episode

Dr. Belvy's history of working in health psychology has led to a deep understanding of complex chronic illnesses, such as Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. She differentiates chronic illnesses (like diabetes) from complex chronic illness (life-long conditions involving multiple systems within the body). While the diseases themselves can be quite complex, Dr. Belvy highlights the additional challenges of living with a complex chronic illness--from attending multiple doctor appointments each week to managing medication schedules to responding to symptom flares.

Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, a connective tissue disorder that impacts all systems of the body, is a prime example of this complexity. Many doctors are not trained in complex illnesses, which leads to misdiagnoses, often with psychological conditions, that can delay or misguide proper treatment. Dr. Belvy provides advice for those navigating the US healthcare system, such as seeking second opinions, following empirical science, and pacing yourself to make sure you can maximally benefit from your treatments.

Drawing from Liberation Psychology and Feminist Psychology, Dr. Belvy highlights the crucial importance of seeing how the sociopolitical environment impacts our health experiences. From public policy to internalized capitalism and ableism, understanding the structures and systems we live in informs how we interpret and approach our own health experiences. Understanding the sociopolitical context is particularly important when we experience "failures" in our health. Tools like nonjudgmental awareness, grief processing, and gratitude can help turn the harrowing experience of complex chronic illness into one that clarifies your values and guides your life choices.

Finally, Dr. Belvy shares how having Ehlers Danlos shaped her professional career path. Instead of treating each "failure" as a personal defeat, Dr. Belvy took each step of the process as information that helped guide her toward her goal of working sustainably as a health psychologist. While grief was a part of this journey, it also brought her to a place of joy and gratitude as she thrives in her current practice.

About My Guest

Dr. Norma Ramírez, Ph.D (she/her/ella), is a bicultural-bilingual (Spanish-English) undocumented licensed psychologist in California and Nevada. She has served as the Clinical Director at an immigration non-profit where she provided free therapy and immigration mental health evaluations and is currently growing her private practice. Dr. Ramírez serves diverse populations from undocumented immigrant communities to first generation professionals to neurodivergent individuals to the LGBTQ community.

She is an advocate for the immigrant community, exemplified by her role as a plaintiff against the Trump Administration for illegally rescinding DACA in 2017 and recognition by the Biden and Harris Administration as a Latinx leader. Clinically, she provides direct services to clients, develops and implements behavioral health programming, provides mental health literacy workshops for minoritized populations, and provides workshops to educators, lawyers, and mental health professionals on improving services for undocumented communities. At the intersection of her spirituality, activism, and professional identities, her own marginalized identities inform how she approaches her work in all of these areas.

You can find Dr. Ramírez at her website: AllGoodThingsPs.com or on Instagram @AllGoodThingsPsychology

In This Episode

With extensive professional and lived experience with minoritized identities beyond race and ethnicity (e.g., neurodivergence, LGBTQ identifies, ability status), Dr. Ramírez brings a significant depth to this discussion on immigrant mental health. She offers insightful and honest reflections on the unique challenges we face when multiple minoritized identities overlap and how this may be experienced by various immigrant communities in the United States. For example, many children of first-generation immigrants (who hold various legal statuses) encounter high pressure, high stress situations from a young age that lead to "growing up too fast" in order to protect and care for their families. As such, the luxury of making mistakes does not exist and "failure" can come with devastating consequences that affect an entire community. Yet even for those who are able to meet these unrealistic, perfectionist standards, acceptance or inclusion never seems to come. This can be especially true for those who are undocumented, leaving them in a perpetual lose-lose situation.

Dr. Ramírez shares how belief systems rooted in colonialism lead to removing the humanity of people different from ourselves and assigning moral judgment based on demographics. These beliefs can result in people with minoritized identities, like immigrants, becoming socialized to believe that they are not deserving of good things in life. Who is allowed to experience beauty, social connection, hope, or safety?

Dr. Ramírez reminds us that all humans are deserving of good things--both the oppressors and the oppressed, because we each contain both identities within us. The complicated reality that we all contain good and bad within us, is a truth she addresses actively throughout her life and career. It is a mission she carries with her in her clinical work, educational commitments, and advocacy efforts. Dr. Ramírez is someone who truly embodies her work and mission, compassionately inviting others to learn with and benefit from her experiences.

Finally, Dr. Ramírez shares what it was like to simultaneously complete her clinical training, write a PhD dissertation, and sue the US Government. Dr. Ramírez reflects on what it is to stop striving for acceptance from a systemic structure that will never provide it--maybe those determined to see failure in everything you do, should not be the ones defining failure for you.

*Please note that this episode was recorded prior to the ICE raids currently happening around the country. These raids only serve to heighten the crises we cover in this episode, while also driving vulnerable people further into isolation and despair. The scale of trauma unfolding before us will not be fully understood for generations to come, yet research on past events similar to this gives us a framework of what to expect.

About My Guest

Dr. Heather Clinkenbeard (she/her) is a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in helping people navigate the messy realities of compulsive sexual behavior, infidelity, professional impairment, and relational wounding. With advanced training from one of the nation’s leading treatment centers for sex addiction, she brings both expertise and a refreshingly honest and compassionate voice to the work of healing.

You can find her on Psychology Today.

In This Episode

Dr. Clinkenbeard and I discuss how sex can be used as a way to avoid difficult or uncomfortable emotions. We look at how compulsive sexual behavior is similar and also different from other addictive behaviors. Dr. Clinkenbeard compassionately walks us through how early life experiences including trauma, shame-based discipline, and mixed messages around sexuality and sexual behavior can all inform one's relationship to sex.

We later explore how infidelity in relationships ruptures not only the partner's trust in the individual, but also the individual's trust in themselves. Rebuilding trust and finding a path to repair is a long and difficult journey and Dr. Clinkenbeard explores when it might be the right journey for a couple and when it may be time to step away from the relationship. She compassionately identifies ways that it is painful, and even burdensome, for the partner who did not engage in infidelity and what the benefits and challenges are of engaging that process toward repair.

A highlight from the episode is Dr. Clinkenbeard's discussion of "ingredients for growth," including: self-compassion, a willingness to get messy, hope, and honesty. Dr. Clinkenbeard is well-versed in walking through the mess with individuals and couples and toward the light of hope, repair, and healing--a process that looks different for everyone.

Finally, Dr. Clinkenbeard shares a vulnerable and compelling personal story about how she came to work with this specialty.

About My Guest

Shin Ock, PhD is a clinical psychologist and founder of Ezar Psychology, a practice specializing in providing actionable and values-guided mental healthcare for physicians and high-achieving professionals, whom she calls "exhausted exemplars." She practices in Massachusetts, Maryland, Washington DC, Virginia, and all PSYPACT-authorized states.

You can find Dr. Ock on her website at www.ezarpsychology.com.

In This Episode

Dr. Ock and I discuss the unique strengths held by people who pursue physician careers, such as not running away from stress and anxiety. We explore how this career can bring challenge and overwhelm as they navigate complex and demanding environments. Dr. Ock shares her insights around how our weaknesses are often "our strengths misapplied" and that performance improvement plans at work may be better understood as a sign that someone is struggling and needs support.

Experiencing failure as a physician can carry significant consequences. Combine this with rigid and demanding learning environments and many physicians end up significantly burned out, overwhelmed, or disconnected because the burden is so high. Dr. Ock discusses ways we can bring compassion and boundaries into demanding careers, adjust our expectations, and build a life that is in alignment with our values.

Finally, Dr. Ock shares one of her own experiences from graduate school that helped her refine her identity as a clinician and her sense of purpose in her career.