Parents often wonder why I notice things about their child that they don’t. In this episode, I explain why that happens (hint: it’s not because you’re failing), and I share a simple Jedi-inspired exercise that helps you start noticing the subtle signs of safety, stress, and connection in your child.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

• Why kids act differently with me than with you.

• How to reframe the “messy” behaviours you see at home.

• A 5-minute noticing exercise that gives you surprising insights.

• How tuning in with your heart, not your head, builds connection.

Links and Resources:

• Explore the Making Sense of Anxious Children course: huddlewisdom.com

• Follow me on Instagram: @huddle_wisdom_parenting

If you’ve ever been told to “just stay calm” or “be consistent” but no one actually showed you how to do that in the middle of your child’s meltdown, this episode is for you. Child psychiatrist Dr Davin Tan unpacks why simplistic advice leaves so many parents of anxious and neurodivergent kids feeling like they’re not enough.

We talk about how chasing perfection can burn you out, why perfection doesn’t actually exist, and how embracing the courage to be imperfect can transform the way you connect with your child. You’ll get real-life strategies you can actually use during those emotional storms, even on your worst parenting days.

In this episode you’ll hear:
• Why generic parenting advice often backfires
• How perfectionism quietly fuels exhaustion and guilt
• What the courage to be imperfect looks like in real life
• Practical ways to support anxious kids in the heat of the moment
• Why repairing after a blow-up matters more than never losing it in the first place

Who it’s for:
Parents and caregivers raising anxious, sensitive or neurodivergent children who want something more useful than a motivational quote.

Keywords:
parenting anxious kids, parenting neurodivergent kids, perfectionism in parenting, how to support an anxious child, good enough parenting, helping kids through meltdowns, emotional regulation in children, parental burnout, child psychiatrist tips

This episode also features a short clip from the film Anger Management (2003) starring Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson, used here for commentary and educational purposes.

Listen now and find out how to parent with presence instead of perfection.

LINK to Resource: www.huddlewisdom.com 🎧👍👍👍

In this episode, Dr. Davin Tan helps parents understand what to do when their child is having a meltdown. He explains why our typical response, "calm down," is not only ineffective but can also make things worse.

Dr. Tan makes the powerful connection between a body overheating in a heatwave and a child's nervous system going into full activation. In this state, the rational part of their brain is offline, so telling them to "calm down" is like telling someone to "cool down" when they can't.

The goal isn't to make their feelings disappear; it's to help them feel safe and understood. Dr. Tan shares five powerful, research-backed phrases to use instead, turning a moment of chaos into a chance for connection and learning.

Five Phrases to Try:

• "Looks like that really got to you."

• "Take your time. I'm here."

• "This feels intense, huh?"

• "This is tough. Want to sit with me for a bit?"

• "We'll figure this out together."

Remember: They're not giving you a hard time; they're having a hard time. By responding with empathy, you can help build your child's resilience and strengthen your bond.

Find out more here!

www.huddlewisdom.com

Struggling with a child who seems defiant, argumentative, or won't follow simple instructions? Before you assume it's misbehaviour, there might be something deeper going on. In this episode, we explore how childhood anxiety can disguise itself as challenging behaviour and share practical ways to recognise the difference.

....

MAKING SENSE OF ANXIOUS KIDS - Enrol Now in the self paced program that will well, help you make a lot of sense of anxious, moody and sensitive kids. Why feel overwhelmed, when you can help that?

Check it out.

www.huddlewisdom.com

Before we became parents we had all sorts of ideas about what it would be like, stemming from our past experiences, memories, books, hopes and dreams, other peoples ideas...but it's not quite the same thing becoming a parent. I'd personally never have it any other way but there are things we don't anticipate if our children are of a certain sensitive temperament and experience great anxiety; we might not be prepared for the reactivity, the unpredictability of emotional upheaval, the overwhelm, the feeling of 'nothing's working'.

Let me help you out a little bit...there are 3 important mindset shifts or mental models that builds a framework that could turn things around.

1. regulation over reaction

2. curiosity instead of judgement

3. connection before correction

Tune in to learn more.

Also go check out the Emotional Storm Module from the Making Sense of Anxious Kids program...you can access that completely free if you sign up on our website : www.huddlewisdom.com

You won't regret it!

This episode is about the version of parenting no one talks about. The one where you’re running on almost nothing. Where your child still needs you, and you’re not sure what you have left to give. We’re not talking about burnout as a concept, or fatigue as a buzzword. We’re talking about the real-life moments when you're holding a meltdown with one hand and your own regulation with the other. When you want to be calm, present, available but you’re overstretched and running late and the toast is wrong again. This conversation won’t give you tricks. Just clarity. A way to think about tiredness that doesn’t make it a personal failing. A way to respond to your child without having to pretend you’re okay. For parents who are doing their best, even when their best is quiet, slow, and not very pretty.

Mentioned in this episode: Making Sense of Anxious Children A course for parents who want to understand what’s really going on beneath the behaviour

Available at www.huddlewisdom.com

Is your child's misbehaviour leaving you frustrated, confused, or exhausted? You're not alone. In this powerful episode of The Huddle Wisdom Podcast, host Dr Tan unpacks a crucial concept that will transform how you view your child's struggles: challenging behaviour is not the problem, it's the signal.

Learn why parents often fall into the trap of "fixing the smoke" (addressing outward child behaviour like yelling, tantrums, defiance, or meltdowns) instead of uncovering the true "fire" beneath. Often anxiety, overwhelm, perfectionism, or unmet emotional needs.

Learn actionable strategies to:

• Pause before reacting to your child's difficult moments.
• Get curious, not furious, about what might be driving their actions.
• Gently name the underlying emotions or "fire" you observe.
• Stay present and connect, even when things feel chaotic.

To navigate your anxious child's behavior with confidence and calm, explore Dr Davin Tan's signature online course: "Making Sense of Anxious Children." Learn how to identify those hidden fires, build essential communication skills, and foster a more peaceful home environment.

Find out more and enroll today at: www.huddlewisdom.com

In this episode, you will learn:

• Why misbehaviour is a signal, not the core problem.
• The dangers of "smoke-fixing" in child behavior.
• How to identify the "fire" (underlying anxiety or needs) beneath challenging behaviors.
• Practical steps to respond with curiosity and connection instead of frustration.
• A real-life example of transforming homework meltdowns by addressing underlying perfectionism.