If he ONLY texts you after midnight, run like a thief in the night! He's a walking red flag.

Ever wasted months or even years on someone who was clearly wrong for you from the start? Those glaring red flags were there all along, but somehow, you convince yourself to ignore them. Yup, I've been there!

When I look back at my dating life before meeting my husband, I'm stunned by how many obvious warning signs I completely missed—or worse, saw clearly but chose to ignore. From the guy who only texted me after midnight (spoiler alert: I wasn't the only one getting those texts) to the men who claimed they "weren't ready for relationships" only to become Instagram official with someone else weeks later.

The midnight texter might seem harmless at first. Maybe you're even flattered that he's thinking about you at that hour. But trust me when I say he's likely sending that same "hey" or "you up?" text to multiple women after his primary plans fell through. Similarly, when someone tells you they like you "but" can't commit because of past trauma or timing, they're really telling you they don't like you enough.

One of the most common patterns I experienced was men who were affectionate and attentive in group settings but never initiated one-on-one dates. If he's not asking you on a proper date—coffee, dinner, or even a walk—before midnight, he's not seriously interested. Real interest comes with effort and intention.

And let's not forget about the chronic blame-shifters. When someone can never acknowledge their role in problems and constantly points fingers at others, you're witnessing a red flag that will only grow more problematic as your relationship faces bigger challenges like marriage, mortgages, and children.

Your intuition is powerful—if something feels off about someone, it probably is. Every time I've ignored my gut feeling about a relationship, I've regretted it. Don't make the excuses I made. Take control of your dating life by recognizing these warning signs early and saving yourself from unnecessary heartbreak.

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Does your husband feel like your annoying roommate who you don't have sex with anymore? I get it!

Ever look at your husband and realize you've gone from hot, sexy and passionate lovers to basically glorified roommates who coordinate schedules and occasionally share a bed? You're not alone.

The transition happens so gradually you barely even notice it – one day you're tearing each other's clothes off the moment you're alone, and next thing you know, you're both too exhausted to do anything but collapse into bed after managing careers, children, and life's endless demands.

As someone who's been with my partner for 14 years, I understand this evolution intimately because it happened to me. The passionate honeymoon phase inevitably cools, replaced by deeper knowledge of each other, mounting responsibilities. But this doesn't mean your relationship is doomed to sexless coexistence.

The solution might sound decidedly unsexy, but it's transformed countless relationships, including mine: scheduling sex. I know – nothing kills the mood quite like adding intimacy to your calendar between "dentist appointment" and "soccer practice pickup." Yet this simple practice acknowledges an important truth: what we value, we make time for. By scheduling intimate time with your partner and committing to those dates (barring true emergencies), you're prioritizing your connection amid life's chaos.

The key is consistency without pressure. Don't expect that first scheduled encounter to match the mind-blowing passion of your early days. Instead, approach it as a chance to reconnect physically and remember that your relationship began with attraction before evolving into partnership and parenthood. Combine these intimate encounters with actual dates – remind yourselves why you fell for each other in the first place.

Every relationship has its own rhythm when it comes to intimacy. Some couples thrive with monthly connections, others desire weekly encounters. There's no universal rule dictating frequency – what matters is finding what works for you both. With intentional effort, that physical connection you thought was lost can be rekindled, pulling you back from mere roommates to the lovers you once were.

Want to share your experience or ask questions? Connect with me on social media (Instagram or Tiktok) or at mommyneedsawifey.com where we're building a judgment-free community of women supporting each other through raw, honest conversations about relationships and intimacy.

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Did I trick my husband into dating me? When my husband and I first met, we were in a full blown situationship. No feelings, no strings, no chains. Just good ol' fashion casual sex!

During the summer of 2011, fresh out of my first year of law school, I was determined to have a summer of fun in Miami before returning to DC. But when I met my future husband, what started as just another casual encounter gradually transformed into something different as genuine butterflies emerged.

The turning point came when I realized demanding commitment would send him running. Instead, I crafted a brilliant psychological strategy: proposing we remain casual but exclusively see each other. By repeatedly emphasizing we weren't in a relationship—no expectations, no romance, complete freedom—I removed the pressure while creating the perfect environment for attachment to grow. As I demonstrated my "wifely" qualities—cooking meals, tidying his apartment, doing laundry—he got to experience the benefits of commitment without feeling trapped.

This strategy worked for me because by focusing on actions rather than labels and allowing him to believe commitment was entirely his idea, I tricked him into thinking that being in a relationship with me was HIS idea. lol.

For women feeling stuck in a situationship purgatory, this counterintuitive approach might be your path forward.

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