In this episode of Leadership Limbo, Josh and John turn the conversation inward. After several weeks focused on how to develop others, they explore the other side of the equation—how to be developed. Whether you’re a middle manager, senior leader, or individual contributor, your willingness to be coached, challenged, and stretched is the foundation of your growth.

The hosts unpack what it looks like to approach development with openness rather than defensiveness, curiosity rather than cynicism. They revisit the pursuer–distancer dynamic from previous episodes, this time flipping the lens: instead of chasing reluctant team members, how can you stop distancing yourself from the people trying to help you grow?

The conversation dives into the role of ego, exploring how skepticism (“they don’t understand my work”) and excuses (“my boss doesn’t develop me”) often mask insecurity or fear. Josh and John walk through ways to reframe these stories, run small mindset experiments, and re-engage in genuine learning.

They also emphasize humble curiosity—not asking questions to prove a point, but asking to discover something new. Alongside this mindset, they talk about the importance of advocating for what you need and building a collaborative relationship with your manager.

The episode closes with a seasonal reminder about gratitude—both expressing and receiving it—as one of the most powerful yet underused tools for sustaining healthy development relationships.

1. Being developed is a choice. You can’t control your manager’s skill level, but you can control your posture and curiosity.
2. Watch for cynicism and defensiveness. Phrases like “they don’t get it” or “this won’t work for me” usually reveal ego, not truth.
3. Run the reframe experiment. Instead of “my boss doesn’t care,” try “my boss might care in ways I don’t yet see.” Look for small evidence of their effort.
4. Development is a two-way relationship. Managers can’t read your mind—advocate for what you need, clarify what helps, and initiate feedback loops.
5. Model what you expect from others. You can’t give what you don’t possess. Showing up as a learner sets the tone for your team.
6. Gratitude multiplies development. Leaders who express genuine appreciation build trust, retention, and resilience in their teams.

Reflect on your posture toward being developed.

• Are you open, curious, and receptive—or defensive, cynical, and closed?
• Identify one relationship where you might be distancing yourself from feedback or growth.
• This week, take one small step to re-engage:
  • Ask a question instead of making an assumption.
  • Invite feedback rather than waiting for it.
  • Express gratitude to someone who has invested in your growth.
• Lean toward curiosity and connection—it’s where learning begins.

• How to Know a Person — David Brooks The Coaching Habit — Michael Bungay Stanier
• Humble Inquiry — Edgar H. Schein
• The Voice-Driven Leader — Jeremie Kubicek & Steve Cockram
• The 100X Leader — Jeremie Kubicek & Steve Cockram
• Conscious Leadership: The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership — Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman, & Kaley Warner Klemp

In this follow-up to last week’s discussion on the Development Square, Josh and John explore what happens after you’ve identified where someone is on their growth journey. Once you know where a team member stands—whether they’re in the foundation, immersion, empowerment, or multiplication stage—the next step is figuring out how to coach, teach, and lead them toward mastery.

The hosts dig into two essential relationship dynamics that can either fuel or frustrate development:

• Pursuer vs. Distancer, where one person chases growth while the other avoids it, and
• Over-functioner vs. Under-functioner, where a leader tries to “save” others or a learner waits passively to be rescued.

Drawing from David Brooks’ book How to Know a Person, they discuss what it means to practice accompaniment—walking alongside someone rather than solving problems for them. They pair this with practical frameworks from The Coaching Habit (Michael Bungay Stanier) and Humble Inquiry (Edgar Schein), showing how asking the right questions can rebalance responsibility and deepen learning.

The episode then transitions into “gradual release”—a core concept in education that applies powerfully to leadership. Josh and John break down each stage of the model (“I do, you watch” → “I do, you help” → “You do, I help” → “You do, I watch”), explaining how leaders can adjust their coaching, feedback, and proximity as people grow in competence and confidence. Along the way, they tackle the tension between personalizing learning and maintaining accountability, and remind listeners that development requires both structure and stretch.

1. Accompaniment builds trust and ownership. True development happens when leaders walk with others, not ahead of them.
2. Beware of over- or under-functioning. Over-functioners rescue; under-functioners retreat. Both limit growth.
3. Ask more, tell less. Use inquiry to invite thinking and responsibility—especially as people gain competence.
4. Name the criteria for success. Learners need to know what “good” looks like before they can reach it.
5. Gradual release is the art of letting go. Effective leaders fade their support as skill and confidence rise.
6. Balance personalization with accountability. Adapt your approach, but don’t avoid necessary discomfort—growth lives there.
7. Feedback loops sustain progress. Check for understanding early and often. Real-time coaching prevents drift.

Return to the team member you identified last week in the Development Square exercise. Ask yourself:

• Are you over-functioning or under-functioning in your support?
• Are you telling too much—or asking too little?

Identify one way to rebalance your dynamic this week—whether it’s using a coaching question, creating clearer criteria for success, or scheduling a real-time feedback moment.

• How to Know a Person — David Brooks
• The Coaching Habit — Michael Bungay Stanier
• Humble Inquiry — Edgar H. Schein
• The Voice-Driven Leader — Jeremie Kubicek & Steve Cockram
• The 100X Leader — Jeremie Kubicek & Steve Cockram
• Concept: “Gradual Release of Responsibility” (Pearson & Gallagher, 1983)

In this episode of Leadership Limbo, Josh and John dive deeper into their ongoing series on developing others, introducing a practical and powerful framework known as the Development Square from The Voice-Driven Leader by Jeremie Kubicek and Steve Cockram.

Building on last week’s conversation about mindset (“To Me” vs. “By Me”), this episode explores how leaders can translate self-awareness into actionable systems for developing people. The duo walk through the four stages of development—Foundation, Immersion, Empowerment, and Multiplication—and unpack how each represents a distinct phase of learning and growth.

Josh explains how the model builds on Maslow’s hierarchy of competence (from unconscious incompetence to unconscious competence) and helps leaders identify where each team member is on their learning journey. Together, they emphasize that development is not an event—it’s a continual process of awareness, feedback, and adaptation.

They also highlight the emotional side of development: the “pit of despair” when confidence collapses, and the “green room” where skill mastery can become comfort or complacency. Through humor, stories, and practical examples—from new teachers to medical dramas—Josh and John make the case that great leaders must not only recognize these stages but actively guide others through them.

1. Development isn’t management—and it isn’t an event. True growth is woven into daily leadership, not reserved for workshops or annual reviews.

2. Everyone learns differently. What worked for you may not work for them. Development requires empathy, flexibility, and intentionality.

3. The Four Stages of Development:

   • Foundation (Unconscious Incompetence): “I do, you watch.” Excitement is high, competence is low.

   • Immersion (Conscious Incompetence): “I do, you help.” Mistakes rise, confidence dips—learning begins.

   • Empowerment (Conscious Competence): “You do, I help.” Skill is growing, autonomy increases.

   • Multiplication (Unconscious Competence): “You do, I watch.” Mastery emerges—and it’s time to develop others.

4. Beware the “pit of despair.” When confidence collapses, leaders must support—not rescue—those they lead.

5. Don’t get stuck in the “green room.” Competence can lead to complacency; stretch high performers by challenging them to multiply others.

6. Your mindset still drives your method. Even with a strong framework, self-preservation and ego can derail development. Stay other-oriented.

Think about one person you’re developing right now—a colleague, direct report, or team member.

• Identify which stage of development they’re currently in: Foundation, Immersion, Empowerment, or Multiplication.

• Ask yourself: What do they need from me at this stage?

  • More modeling and demonstration?

  • Shoulder-to-shoulder feedback?

  • Space to practice with support?

  • Stretch opportunities to mentor others?

• Bonus reflection: Where are you in your own development journey—and what kind of support would help you grow next?

• The Voice-Driven Leader — Jeremie Kubicek & Steve Cockram

• The 100X Leader — Jeremie Kubicek & Steve Cockram

• The Drama Triangle — Dr. Stephen Karpman

• Sacred Hoops — Phil Jackson (with Hugh Delehanty)

• Conscious Leadership: The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership — Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman, & Kaley Warner Klemp

• The Pit (TV Series) — referenced as an analogy for teaching and skill progression