Healing doesn’t happen by accident—it happens on purpose.

In the Season 1 finale of Healing & Shadow Work, Linkie Love and Coach Sheronda L. Barksdale discuss how to turn the desire to heal into an intentional and realistic plan.

Many of us say, “I want to let go,” “I want to stop overthinking,” “I need better boundaries,” or “I want to feel like myself again.” Those desires are valid, but they can feel so broad that we do not know where to begin. The SMART Healing Plan helps us break larger healing goals into manageable actions.

S — Specific: What pain, pattern, behavior, or emotional response are you ready to name?

M — Measurable: How will you recognize progress? Healing does not have to be complete before it counts. Progress may mean recovering more quickly after a trigger, maintaining a boundary, or using a coping skill before reacting.

A — Achievable: Does your goal fit your current emotional capacity, schedule, and resources? The goal is not to become someone who never struggles. It is to recognize what is happening and respond in healthier ways.

R — Relevant: Does the goal support the life you genuinely want, or are you trying to meet someone else’s expectations? Are you healing for yourself—or trying to become more lovable or acceptable?

T — Time-Bound: When will you begin, and when will you review your progress? A timeframe is not a deadline for becoming completely healed. It gives you time to practice, reflect, and adjust.

This episode also explores the importance of grace. Having a bad day does not mean you are failing at healing. You may cry, feel overwhelmed, shut down, or need to rest. Healing does not require you to become superhuman. However, we must ask ourselves whether we are actively using our coping tools, boundaries, resources, and support.

Create your own SMART Healing Plan:

“Over the next __________, I will ______________________________ at least ______ times because ______________________________.”

Your healing plan should challenge you without punishing you. It should provide direction while leaving room for emotions, rest, setbacks, adjustments, and your humanity.

As Season 1 comes to a close, we thank everyone who watched, listened, shared, commented, and joined us for these honest conversations. The season may be ending, but the healing and shadow work continue.

Real talk. Real healing. Real transformation. Let’s do the work—together.

#HealingAndShadowWork #SeasonOneFinale #SMARTHealingPlan #ShadowWork #HealingJourney

In this episode of Healing & Shadow Work, Linkie Love and Coach Sheronda L. Barksdale explore The Art of Surrender: Letting Go Without Giving Up.

What does it really mean to surrender?

For many of us, surrender sounds like defeat. It sounds like quitting, failing, or admitting that we weren't strong enough to make something work. But sometimes the strongest thing we can do is recognize what is outside of our control and stop exhausting ourselves trying to change it.

Surrender isn't weakness. It isn't quitting. It's releasing your need to control things you were never meant to control.

In this conversation, we unpack the difference between giving up and letting go. We explore how trauma, anxiety, perfectionism, hypervigilance, fear of abandonment, and past experiences can create a powerful need for control. When you've learned that being prepared, staying alert, or handling everything yourself keeps you safe, surrender can feel terrifying.

But what happens when the very behaviors that once protected you begin to exhaust you?

We discuss what it looks like when we're holding on too tightly—overthinking every decision, trying to predict other people's behavior, attempting to fix relationships, replaying situations, worrying about outcomes, and carrying responsibilities that were never ours to begin with.

We also explore some difficult questions:

What are you afraid will happen if you let go?

What happens when you accept that you cannot control another person's choices? What does surrender look like when a relationship changes or ends? How do you release guilt about your past? How do you stop forcing something simply because you've invested so much time, energy, or love into it?

And perhaps most importantly: Can you surrender an outcome without surrendering yourself?

Healthy surrender doesn't mean becoming passive. It doesn't mean allowing people to mistreat you, abandoning your goals, or pretending something doesn't hurt. Sometimes surrender looks like establishing a boundary. Sometimes it's accepting reality. Sometimes it's grieving. Sometimes it's trusting yourself enough to walk away. And sometimes it's simply admitting, "I've done what I can. The rest is no longer mine to carry."

Throughout the episode, we discuss practical ways to practice surrender through therapy, shadow work, mindfulness, journaling, prayer, meditation, boundaries, radical acceptance, and honest self-reflection.

Ask yourself:

Is this mine to carry?

Can I actually control this?

Am I fighting reality because accepting it hurts?

What would peace look like if I stopped trying to force the outcome?

What am I ready to release?

Surrender doesn't promise that everything will work out exactly the way you want it to. It creates space for you to stop fighting every uncertainty and begin trusting yourself to handle whatever comes next.

Sometimes healing isn't about holding on tighter.

Sometimes healing is realizing you can finally let go.

Join us for an honest, reflective, and sometimes uncomfortable conversation about control, fear, acceptance, healing, and the freedom that can come when we choose peace over constant resistance.

Healing & Shadow Work
Hosted by Linkie Love & Coach Sheronda L. Barksdale

Heal. Integrate. Transform.

In this episode of Healing & Shadow Work, Larneka Lavalais, LPC-S (Linkie Love) and Coach Sheronda L. Barksdale explore How to Develop Self-Esteem and Self-Love After Trauma.

Trauma can change the way we see ourselves, impact our confidence, and leave us questioning our worth. Experiences such as childhood wounds, rejection, abandonment, betrayal, unhealthy relationships, and loss can create negative beliefs that follow us long after the experience itself has ended.

During this conversation, Larneka and Sheronda discuss how trauma affects self-esteem and self-worth, how to recognize the inner critic and negative self-talk, and how shadow work can help us confront the parts of ourselves we've learned to hide, judge, or reject. They also explore practical ways to rebuild confidence, establish healthy boundaries, practice self-compassion, forgive yourself, and develop a healthier relationship with yourself.

Self-love is more than self-care routines and positive affirmations. Sometimes self-love means choosing yourself, protecting your peace, setting boundaries, keeping promises to yourself, allowing yourself to rest, and no longer depending on other people to validate your worth.

Healing doesn't require you to forget what happened. It's about recognizing that what happened to you does not determine who you are or what you deserve.

Whether you're healing from childhood trauma, heartbreak, grief, rejection, abandonment, or other difficult life experiences, this episode offers encouragement and practical insight for reconnecting with yourself and rebuilding your sense of worth.

Healing & Shadow Work creates space for honest conversations about trauma, healing, personal growth, self-discovery, and becoming more intentional about how we show up for ourselves and in our relationships.

Your trauma is part of your story, but it does not define your worth. 💜

Do you ever replay conversations long after they're over, second-guess your decisions, or spend so much time thinking that you never take action? If so, you're not alone.

In this episode of Healing and Shadow Work, Linkie Love (Larneka Lavalais, LPC) and Coach Sheronda L. Barksdale have an honest conversation about overthinking and how it quietly steals our peace, confidence, and momentum. Together, they explore why overthinking happens, how trauma, anxiety, perfectionism, and fear can keep us mentally stuck, and why analysis paralysis makes even simple decisions feel overwhelming.

Through personal insight, clinical perspective, and practical encouragement, they discuss how to recognize when thinking has become unproductive, rebuild self-trust, embrace uncertainty, and take the courageous steps necessary for healing and growth. This conversation is a reminder that healing doesn't require perfect certainty—it requires a willingness to move forward despite the unknown.

Remember, action creates clarity more often than thinking does. The life you've been praying for isn't on the other side of more thinking—it's on the other side of your next courageous step.

Connect with us at www.lavalaislpc.com, subscribe to our channel, and follow @LarnekaL for more conversations on healing, mental wellness, and personal growth. If this episode resonates with you, please share it with someone who may need the reminder that they don't have to stay stuck.

12 Stages of Healing Trauma is a heartfelt conversation exploring what it truly means to heal after trauma, heartbreak, grief, and life's most difficult experiences. Join Linkie Love and Coach Sheronda L. Barksdale as they discuss the emotional, mental, and spiritual stages of healing, the importance of shadow work, and how acknowledging your pain can become the foundation for lasting growth. Through honest dialogue, practical insights, and compassionate guidance, this episode encourages listeners to embrace the healing process, reconnect with themselves, and move toward a life of greater peace, resilience, and authenticity. Real conversations. Real healing. Real transformation.

Have you ever found yourself reacting to a situation and later wondered, "Why did that affect me so much?" Emotional triggers often reveal wounds that extend far beyond the present moment. They can be reminders of unresolved pain, childhood experiences, relationship hurt, abandonment, rejection, betrayal, or trauma that still lives beneath the surface.

In this episode of Healing & Shadow Work, host Linkie Love is joined by special guest Coach Sheronda L. Barksdale for a heartfelt conversation about emotional triggers and the healing journey. Together, we explore what triggers really are, why they happen, and how they can become powerful opportunities for growth rather than obstacles to overcome.

Many of us spend years trying to avoid being triggered, but healing isn't found in avoidance. Healing begins when we become curious about our reactions instead of judging them. Our triggers often reveal the places within us that still need compassion, understanding, and care.

Throughout this conversation, we discuss how past experiences shape our present responses, why certain people or situations seem to affect us more deeply than others, and how shadow work helps us uncover the hidden beliefs and emotional wounds that influence our daily lives. We also talk about the importance of accountability, healthy boundaries, emotional regulation, self-awareness, and learning the difference between reacting from pain and responding from healing.

Whether you're navigating heartbreak, family conflict, grief, childhood trauma, anxiety, or simply trying to better understand yourself, this episode offers encouragement, practical insight, and hope. Healing is not about pretending the pain never existed. It's about acknowledging it, learning from it, and refusing to let it control your future.

This conversation is an invitation to pause, reflect, and ask yourself what your triggers might be trying to teach you. Instead of viewing them as weaknesses, what if they are signposts pointing you toward deeper healing and greater emotional freedom?

Healing is a lifelong journey. There is no finish line, and there is no perfect timeline. Every moment of self-awareness, every healthy boundary, every difficult conversation, and every choice to respond differently is evidence of growth. You deserve healing, peace, and relationships that reflect the person you are becoming.

If this episode encourages you, please follow the podcast, leave a rating and review, and share it with someone who may benefit from this conversation. Your support helps us continue creating meaningful discussions that promote emotional wellness, self-discovery, and authentic healing.

Thank you for being part of the Healing & Shadow Work community. Remember, your triggers do not define you—they can become some of your greatest teachers. Healing is possible, growth is available, and transformation begins with awareness.

Real Talk. Real Healing. Real Transformation.

Connect with us on YouTube at @LarnekaL and follow Larneka Lavalais, LPC PLLC on Facebook for upcoming conversations, resources, and live events. Together, let's continue doing the work—one conversation at a time.

How Do You Heal After Heartbreak?

Heartbreak is more than the end of a relationship—it can feel like the loss of your future, your identity, your routines, and the dreams you shared. Relationship grief is real, and healing is possible.

Join Linkie Love, Licensed Professional Counselor and host of Healing & Shadow Work, along with special guest Coach Sheronda L. Barksdale, for a compassionate conversation about navigating the pain of heartbreak and finding your way back to yourself.

In this episode, we explore what relationship grief really is and why it hurts so deeply. We discuss the emotional impact of breakups, divorce, betrayal, abandonment, and unresolved attachment wounds. Together, we'll examine how shadow work can help uncover emotional patterns, promote self-awareness, and support lasting healing.

We'll also talk about healthy ways to process grief, rebuild self-worth, establish healthier boundaries, and reconnect with yourself after loss. Healing doesn't mean forgetting what happened—it means learning how to move forward with greater clarity, resilience, and self-compassion.

Whether your relationship ended recently or you're still carrying wounds from years ago, this conversation is designed to remind you that your pain is valid, your healing matters, and your story is not over.

This episode offers education, encouragement, and practical insights to help you move from surviving heartbreak to creating a life rooted in hope, peace, and emotional wellness. Healing isn't about pretending you're okay. It's about honoring your feelings, understanding your patterns, and choosing yourself one day at a time.

Larneka "Linkie Love" Lavalais is a Licensed Professional Counselor, speaker, and owner of Larneka Lavalais, LPC PLLC. Through Healing & Shadow Work, she creates space for honest conversations about mental health, trauma, relationships, grief, personal growth, and emotional wellness.

Coach Sheronda L. Barksdale is a transformational coach and founder of Authentically Your Expressions. She is passionate about helping individuals embrace authenticity, heal from life's challenges, and live with purpose, confidence, and intention.

If this episode encourages you, please follow the podcast, leave a rating and review, and share it with someone who may need this conversation. Together, we can normalize healing, encourage growth, and remind others that they are not alone.

Connect with us on YouTube and Facebook at @LarnekaL, and learn more about counseling services, upcoming events, and resources at www.lavalaislpc.com.

Remember, healing is not linear, but every step forward is progress. Be patient with yourself. Be gentle with your heart. You deserve healing, peace, and healthy love. 💛

Healing & Shadow Work is a podcast dedicated to honest conversations about emotional healing, self-discovery, and personal growth. Hosted by Linkie Love (Larneka Lavalais, LPC-S) and co-host Coach Sheronda L. Barksdale, Founder of Authentically Your Expressions (AYE), we explore topics like trauma, grief, heartbreak, abandonment wounds, relationships, boundaries, self-worth, and the power of shadow work. Through authentic dialogue and practical insight, we invite you to embrace every part of your journey, heal from within, and discover the strength that comes from doing the inner work. Real Talk. Real Healing. Real Transformation. 💛